12/31/10

repost

i posted this on my other blog
but i figured i'd throw the link up here, too
cuz i dunno how many of you schmucks read the other one

at any rate,
after putting it off for the better part of 18 months,
i finally went through my hard drive
and put my photos from russia online
i had no real reason for doing it now,
other than i was INSANELY bored on the train ride back
and i needed something to do,
so i went through and edited all the photos on my computer
[and i do mean all of them]

so, here for your viewing pleasure
[along with my photos from new york/chicago/dc]
are my photos from russia
enjoy

picasaweb.google.com/nuyorussia
[in case it isn't clear,
'vg' stands for volgograd
'sp' is saint petersburg
'msc' is moscow]

12/25/10

rossinyol

ríu, ríu, chíu
la guarda ribera:
dios guardó del lobo
a nuestra cordera


el lobo rabioso
la quiso morder,
mas dios poderoso
la supo defender;
quisola hacer
que no pudiese pecar,
ni aun original
esta virgen no tuviera

este que es nacido
es el gran monarca,
cristo patriarca
de carne vestido;
hanos redimido
con se hacer chiquito
aunque era infinito,
finito se hiciera

muchas profecías
lo han profetizado,
y aun en nuestros días
lo hemos alcanzado.
a dios humanado
vemos en el suelo,
y al hombre en el cielo
porque el le quisiera

yo vi mil garzones
que andaban cantando,
por aquí volando
haciendo mil sones,
diciendo a gascones:
"gloria sea en el cielo
y paz en el suelo,
pues jesús naciera"

12/23/10

yltäkylläinen

щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилeтiла ластiвочка,

стала собi щебетати,
господаря викликати:
"вийди, вийди, господарю,
подивися на кошару,

там овечки покотились,
а ягнички народились.
в тебе товар весь хороший,
будеш мати мiрку грошей,

в тебе товар весь хороший,
будеш мати мiрку грошей,

хоч не грошi, то полова:
в тебе жiнка чорноброва."

щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилeтiла ластiвочка.

12/16/10

madwar

i call you my friend
and that's all that i do

why do i have to pretend
to find ways to be around you?

you've been there all along,
holding my hand like you do
why do i feel that it's wrong
to love to be around you?

do you feel what i feel?
well? do you feel this way too?
that every wound seems to heal
when i am around you

and i think i'm losing my mind,
maybe i've been hopelessly blind
to your beauty
and you have a sweet, sinful smile
i'm in trouble
cuz you turn me upside down
and around and around

and i must be losing my mind,
maybe you have a sweet, sinful smile
i'm in trouble
cuz you turn me upside down
and around and around

my feet don't touch the ground
when i'm around you

12/4/10

hladový

rien de dormier cette nuit
je veux de toi
jusqu'à ce que je sois sec
mais nos corps sont tout mouillés
complètement couvert de sueur
nous nous noyons dans la marée
je n'ais aucun désir
tu as ravagé mon cœur
et moi j'ai bu ton sang

tout le monde est à moi
je l'ai gagné dans un jeu de cartes

et maintenant je m'en fous
c'était gagné trop facilement
ça y est alors ma belle traîtresse
il faut que je brûle de jalousie
tu as ravagé mon cœur
et moi j'ai bu ton sang

mais non pouvons faire ce que nous voulons
j'aurais toujours faim de toi

no matter what i do,
i'm still hungry for you

11/29/10

över

you better crawl on your knees
and the next time you say that you love me,
fall on your knees
cuz this time i won't be so kind
can't you see that this is life, and life
is killing me?
is it yours? is it mine?
our sky fell down tonight,
to wash away our pain

you better see how evil you can be
when you see my evil smile
it's the one that you'll remember
when i am not so kind
can't you see that this is death, and death
is saving me
i say burn all of your bridges
while you still have control of the flame

i know it's hard, but you

tell me, over and over and over and over and over again
it never was the time for us,
it never was the time to let me in
show me, over and over and over and over and over again
the time for us,
it never was the time to let me in

you're hard and to the point,
so hard and to the point

11/24/10

the new movement

i'm writing this post on the bus to my hometown
where i'll be spending thanksgiving with my family
[and hopefully some of the few friends i still keep in touch with]
i don't think i've ever been on a bus ride this smooth before
cuz we all know how fucked up the roads are in michigan
and the ones in new york are just as bad, if not worse

also, it seems i have a new favorite cramped sleeping position
sitting, with my backpack in my lap
one foot on the footrest, the other curled underneath me
arms crossed over my bag, face down in my arms
and my head squarely pushing on the seat in front of me
that's how i've fallen asleep on every single trip i've taken this year
it seems to be developing into habit,
and i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not
at least i've managed to find a non–painful position
every other time i've fallen asleep on transit,
my neck always ends up in excruciating pain for a day or two

at any rate,
if anyone needs to get a hold of me,
i'm gonna be off the grid until monday at some point
which feels like a fucking treat after living in new york
fucking everyone's always wired into the system
no wonder they try to get away from it so often

speaking of getting away
i love coming back to places i haven't seen in years
it always gives me such a visceral reaction
tons of memories come flooding back,
and i get to see places i haven't seen in too long
fuck i missed connecticut

11/6/10

रोग

i awoke, only to find my lungs empty
through the night, so it seems i'm not breathing
and now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be
and i'm breaking down,
i think i'm breaking down

and i'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me,
such as living with the uncertainty
that i'll never never find the words to say,
which would completely explain
just how i'm breaking down

i've become the simple souvenir of someone's kill
like the sea, i'm constantly changing from calm to ill
madness fills my heart and soul,
as if the great divide could swallow me whole
oh, how i'm breaking down

someone come and, someone come and save my life
maybe i'll sleep when i am dead,
but now it's like the night is taking sides
with all the worries that occupy the back of my mind,
could it be this misery will suffice?

11/2/10

ţară

'twas halloween and the ghosts were out,
and everywhere they'd go, they'd shout,
and though i covered my eyes i knew
they'd go away

but fear's the only thing i saw,
and three days later, was clear to all
that nothing is as scary as
election day

but the day after is darker,
and darker and darker it goes,
who knows, maybe the plans will change,
who knows, maybe he's not deranged

the news men know what they know, but they
know even less than what they say,
and i don't know who i can trust,
for come what may

'cause we believed in our candidate,
but even more, it's the one we hate,

i needed someone i could shake
on election day

but the day after is darker,
and deeper and deeper we go,
who knows, maybe it's all a dream
who knows if i'll wake up and scream

i love the things that you've given me,
i cherish you, my dear country,
but sometimes i don't understand
the way we play

i love the things that you've given me,
and most of all that i am free
to have a song that i can sing
on election day

10/25/10

maimonides

i did my civic duty today
yup. i voted.
this was the second time i've done it by absentee ballot
[i did in 2008 too]
it seems to be developing into a trend
in my three years as a registered voter,
i've yet to step foot in an actual voting booth
granted, there were a couple local elections i missed
mostly cuz i never know when the fuck they are, but still
maybe someday i'll actually vote where i live

also speaking of absentee ballots
i have a bone to pick with the gub'ment about them:
it gets sent to us very quickly, quicker than normal mail]
you provide three envelopes with it
[the one it comes it, the return envelope, and the privacy sleeve]
you have the actual printed paper ballot,
which, by the way, is pretty long and always double sided
you give us all these instructions to fill them out and send them back
and yet, when i go to mail it back in the envelopes provided,
why in the hell do i have to pay the postage?
seriously, you go through all the trouble of mailing this shit to me
and you pay for it to get mailed to me, but not back?
the hell is that?
is it really that hard to pay the 61¢ postage?
our tax dollars at work, apparently

also, since we're on the subject of politics,
words can't describe how out of place i feel here
everyone goes on and on about the city and state officials
bloomberg this, albany that, holy christ it's paladino,
d'you hear what cuomo said yesterday,
and hot damn about that there working families party
they could be talking about scandinavian bear wrestling for all i know
i like to think i'm moderately informed about politics,
but i have enough problems keeping up with michigan politics
[which, by the way, nearly gives me a stroke to think about]
and trying to keep up with what connecticut does these days?
it's a wonder i even know who's running
but damn, even trying to understand new york politics gives me a headache
bullshit nonsense is what it is

10/24/10

bcsucks

hey, people who like msu football:
we cracked the top five in the BCS this week
how bout that?

i gotta say,
watching them play this year is doing good things for me
i actually enjoy watching the games, for one
[cuz i sure as hell didn't last year,
not after that whole cmu debacle]
they've got some shades of the 2008 season going,
what with actually having a good run game and all
it's given me something to do on saturdays, too
instead of going broke trying to afford this city
i approve on all counts

as much as i kinda sorta want to
i'm not going to play the prediction game
not for the bcs standings, not for bowl games
and sure as shit not for the big ten standing
not because i'm afraid of cursing the team,
or because i don't want to be wrong
why?
it's way too fucking insane, that's why
seriously
there are WAY too many possibilities for how the season ends
there's different scenarios depending on who wins out,
how tie breakers affect the big ten champ,
who'll jump over who in the bcs rankings
who gets what bowl game depending on who loses when/which team
it's enough to give anyone a nosebleed

i'll leave the predictions for the fans with nothing better to do
and/or people who get paid to give them
i'll leave you with this sentiment, though:
this year's college season, along with this year's professional season,
is some of the most entertaining football i've seen in a long time
and i do mean that
teams are losing games they shouldn't and winning games they shouldn't
the polls are all fucked up beyond compare
standings are completely up in the air
it's a total free–for–all among every single team in the league
and we're waiting anxiously to see who's gonna make it through unscathed
it's fucking awesome,
and i love it

10/21/10

samolot

сколько в моей жизни было этих самолётов
никогда не угадаешь где же он не приземлится
я плачу за эти буковки и цифры
улечу на этом кресле прямо в новости
давай, я позвоню тебе ещё раз
помолчим, поулыбаемся друг другу

я пытаюсь справиться с обрушившимся небом
я никак не слабачок, но тут такие перестрелки
я молчу, белеет парус одиноко
яурачок, он ничего не понимает
корабли имеют сердце и возможность выбирать
и погибая улыбаться

мы с тобой ещё немного и взорвёмся

жаль, но я никак не научусь остановиться
разгоняюсь–загоняюсь как отпущенная птица
хорошо, я буду сдержанной и взрослой
снег пошёл и значит что–то поменялось
я люблю твои запутанные волосы
давай, я позвоню тебе ещё раз, помолчим
люблю твои запутанные волосы
давай, я позвоню тебе ещё раз, помолчим
люблю...
люблю...

10/19/10

berlayar

i’m working on a sound
i’m walking through the city
feeling like the city
is feeling like a sound


i’m dreaming around 11
and i’m thinking of a friend
i’m feeling for the card
and feeling in the air

10/10/10

fabryka

oh, here in the shop the machines roar so wildly,
that oft, unaware that i am, or have been,
i sink and am lost in the terrible tumult;
and void is my soul... i am but a machine.
i work and i work and i work, never ceasing;
create and create things from morning till e'en;
for what?—and for whom—oh, i know not! oh, ask not!
who has ever heard of a conscious machine?

no, here is no feeling, no thought and no reason;
this life–crushing labor has ever supprest
the noblest and the finest, the truest and richest,
the deepest, the highest and humanly best.
the seconds, the minutes, they pass out forever,
they vanish, swift fleeting like straws in a gale.
i drive the wheel madly as tho' to o'ertake them,—
give chase without wisdom, or wit, or avail.

the clock in the workshop,—it rests not a moment;
it points on, and ticks on: eternity—time;
and once someone told me the clock had a meaning,—
its pointing and ticking had reason and rhyme.
and this too he told me,—or had i been dreaming,—
the clocked wakened life in one, forces unseen,
and something besides;... i forget what; oh, ask not!
i know not, i know not, i am a machine.

at times, when i listen, i hear the clock plainly;—
the reason of old—the old meaning—is gone!
the maddening pendulum urges me forward
to labor and labor and still labor on.
the tick of the clock is the boss in his anger!
the face of the clock has the eyes of a foe;
the clock—oh, i shudder—dost hear how it drives me?
it calls me "machine!"—and it cries to me "sew!"

at noon, when about me the wild tumult ceases,
and gone is the master, and i sit apart,
and the dawn in my brain is beginning to glimmer,
that would comes agape at the core of my heart;
and tears, bitter tears flow; ay, tears that are scalding;
they moisten my dinner—my dry crust of bread;
they choke me,—i cannot eat;—no, no, i cannot!
oh, horrible toil i born of need and dread.

the sweatshop at mid–day—i'll draw you the picture:
a battlefield bloody;the conflict at rest;
around and about me the corpses are lying;
the blood cries aloud from the earth's gory breast.
a moment... and hark! the loud signal is sounded,
the dead rise again and renewed is the fight...
they struggle, these corpses; for strangers, for strangers!
they struggle, they fall, and they sink into night.

i gaze on the battle in bitterest anger,
and pain, hellish pain wakes the rebel in me!
the clock—now i hear it aright!—it is crying:
"an end to this bondage! an end there must be!"
it quickens my reason, each feeling within me;
it shows me how precious the moments that fly.
oh, worthless my life if i longer am silent,
and lost to the world if in silence i die.

the man in me sleeping begins to awaken;
the thing that was slave into slumber has passed:
now; up with the man in me! up and be doing!
no misery more! here is freedom at last!
when sudden: a whistle!—the boss—an alarum!—
i sink in the slime of the stagnant routine;—
there's tumult, they struggle, oh, lost is my ego;—
i know not, i care not, i am a machine!...

9/30/10

lugh

wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
o, what a panic's in thy breastie!
thou need na start awa sae hasty
wi bickering brattle!
i wad be lauth to rin an' chase thee,
wi' murdering pattle.

i'm truly sorry man's dominion
has broken nature's social union,
an' justifies that ill opinion
which makes thee startle
at me, thy poor, earth born companion
an' fellow mortal!

i doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
what then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
a daimen icker in a thrave
's a sma' request;
i'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
an' never miss't

thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
it's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
an' naething, now, to big a new ane,
o' foggage green!
an' bleak december's win's ensuin,
baith snell an' keen!

thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
an' weary winter comin fast,
an' cozie here, beneath the blast,
thou thought to dwell,
till crash! the cruel coulter past
out throu' thy cell.

that wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
but house or hald,
to thole the winter's sleety dribble,
an cranreuch cauld.

but mousie, thou are no thy lane,
in proving foresight may be vain:
the best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
gang aft agley
an' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
for promis'd joy!

still thou are blest, compared wi' me!
the present only toucheth thee:
but och! i backwards cast m e'e,
on prospects drear!
an' forward, tho' i canna see,
i guess an' fear!

9/23/10

dayuhan

oh, satellite comes and goes
we give each other all we know
in silence we still talk
by the light of the stereo waltz
and will you rain down,
in your cinematic love truck?
i wanna hold you
like nothing's gonna stop us


flicker on a tv screen
everything's more than it seems
mighty backward fall
stare at the light on the wall
and i swear to this:
she felt like velvet
second blonde child
felt like velvet
velvet

and she comes to take me away
it's all that i needed
i don't need another lover, lover

i'm an alien,
you're an alien
it's a beautiful rain

oh, she come around again

9/17/10

elinikäinen

you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
you may find yourself in another part of the world
you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
you may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
you may ask yourself, 'well, how did i get here?'

you may ask yourself, 'how do i work this?'
you may ask yourself, 'where is that large automobile?
you may tell yourself, 'this is not my beautiful house'
you may tell yourself, 'this is not my beautiful wife'

water dissolving and water removing
there is water at the bottom of the ocean
remove the water, carry the water
remove the water from the bottom of the ocean

you may ask yourself, 'what is that beautiful house?'
you may ask yourself, 'where does that highway lead to?'
you may ask yourself, 'where does that highway lead to?
you may ask yourself, 'my god, what have i done?'

letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
letting the days go by, water flowing underground
into the blue again, after the money's gone
once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
into the blue again, into silent water
under the rocks and stones, there is water underground
letting the days go by, into silent water
once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
same as it ever was

time isn't holding us, time isn't after us
time isn't holding us, time doesn't hold you back
time isn't holding us, time isn't after us
time isn't holding us...
letting the days go by

9/14/10

viscount

WHY I HATE RAINSTORMS
a rant and rage in four acts

movement 1 — people
people are invariably the most irritating part about rainstorms
they always act like it's the end of their existence
because getting wet is SUCH the tragedy
god forbid your hair get frizzy,
or your dress shirt get wrinkled
also, they automatically start bitching about the weather,
and it's always really loud and whiny
like i give a shit about how much you don't like precipitation
if you were smart and paid attention to the forecasts
OR LOOKED OUT YOUR FUCKING WINDOWS
you'd know that clouds are a–comin' and a storm's a–brewin'
and, generally while being whining like pissy kindergartner,
they start run–walking [or actually running] out of the rain
that's actually funny to me, not annoying
watching white people run is always funny
especially when they're ill–suited to do so
portly men in badly–proportioned suits are normally funny
but in a dead sprint, they're fucking comedy gold
but that's only if they don't have their protection with them
which leads to...

entr'acte — umbrellas
there is no crueler invention for city life than umbrellas
granted, they are a moderately–convenient invention
especially when keeping your upper half pristine is important
but they are more than just an irritation for the rest of us
they can be downright life–threatening
consider the following example:
it's starting to drizzle a little bit, not really that hard
a small woman walking towards you pulls out a massive umbrella,
an umbrella that could fit four people under it,
and opens it, holding it about a foot over her head
she's not watching where she's going
[or she's in too much of a rush to care]
it's a small sidewalk, and somewhat crowded
and as this woman passes,
you get hit square in the face [sometimes the eye] with her umbrella
ever happen to you?
cuz it happens to me all the fucking time
and i'm goddamn sick of it

movement 2 — resulting humidity
there's nothing like a rainstorm to help change up the weather
it's like nature's 'reset' button
in the summertime, they're a godsend
they take all the heat and stickiness out of the air
and for a glorious while, you get a respite from the oppressive temps
but then, about fifteen minutes after it's done,
you start to breathe in, and you can taste the moisture
then it gets worse
then it starts getting really bad,
to the point where you feel like you're in the everglades
the humidity comes back with a fucking vengeance
as if in defiance of the rain that just left
saying 'you can't make me leave,
and for trying, you get extra punishment
AHAHAHAHA'
what the hell is that?
if the rain was truly beneficial and kind to us
it'd kick humidity in the balls and make it evaporate
but no
rain is the picador to the humidity's bull
all it's doing is giving it more resolve to make us miserable

rondo — duration
rain is a fickle* beast, and it does whatever it damn well pleases
and normally want it wants is not what you want
especially in terms of how long it'll rain
when you want it to, it's never long enough
but when you do,
that's shit over quicker than an honest politician's career
it always goes on forever when you need it to stop
when you've got an armful of books or important documents
or maybe you're carrying something electronic
it rains like it'll never get the chance to again
but when you're bored and have the free time,
maybe decide to go out, get soaked, and splash in the puddles,
then the rain quits after about five minutes
and that MOTHERFISTFUCKING HUMIDITY comes back
it feel like you took a swan dive into a turkish bath
and just feel all sticky and slightly damp
why can't that ever be reversed?
why can't rain let us appreciate it when we want to?
and piss off when it's really, REALLY problematic?
is that so goddamn hard?


i love rain, i really do
thunderstorms are my favorite natural phenomenon
and rain in general is something that'll brighten my day
but goddamned if it doesn't piss me off in the process
it's like a really cool person you've known for a long time
and you love hanging out with them, especially just the two of you
but they always have to bring their fucking friends
and they're ALWAYS complete pricks,
and it just ruins it for you
i guess i'll have to get used to it,
cuz that's not gonna change anytime soon




*when i was writing the last part,
i initially wrote 'fuckle' instead of fickle,
and i immediately started to wonder how that would work
i imagined some unholy combo of suckling and fucking
and then imagined is as the logical follow up to cuddling
i bet some cutesy motherfucker is gonna start using that
'hey baby, i just wanna cuddle with you,
and then maybe, if things start to get hot,
we can fuckle a little bit, then maybe cuddle again'
don't think it won't happen

9/11/10

all i know is where i wanna be
but the sky is trembling
green trees are flashin' by me
but the road ain't changin'
when this story comes to it's end
will i be with you?
maybe angels have the intent
to carry me to you

can you hear my trembling heart?
it beats with an engine
bright lights and shapes through the glass
reveal your reflection

through the mist and into the night,
my fears are fading
i know i'm gonna be by your side
i know you'll be waiting

say you'll always be
my guiding light, protecting me
my angel of the north,
angel of the north
take me in your arms
show me the way, away from harm
angel of the north
my angel of the north

9/5/10

trawler

as much as i really want to
and i do mean REALLY WANT TO
i'm not going to bitch about the new big ten divisions
i'm not going to complain about the new championship game
i am, however, gonna bitch about opening week matchups
on second thought, i'm not gonna bitch about that either
i'll just say that i have serious issues with all of them
and i don't want to waste you people's time with lots of cursing
[though, let's face it, you're all used to it by now]

it's kinda sad,
i'm one of the only people out here that's really into sports
so i have no one to yell at the tv with,
BUT
i did find a steelers bar on third ave
[they had an inflatable hines ward on the sidewalk in front of their window]
which i am going to frequent with great regularity come the nfl season
mostly since i don't have cable,
and i am NOT going without football this fall, goddamn it

my hard drive is rapidly approaching too full
[too many movies/much music]
which means here in the not–too–distant future
i'z gonna need a external
maybe someday i'll actually be able to afford it

8/19/10

plaza vea

hey people
i'm not really gonna use this to talk about my time in crooklyn;
i converted my old russia blog for current purposes
so, instead of mingling the random shit i put on here
and things you might actually interest you,
head over to ze other blog

btdubs, i changed the url of it
it's nuyorussia.blogspot.com now
hey, shut up, i thought it was clever

8/17/10

уезжай

and now, for the first non–lyrics post in a few days

actually, i don't have much to say
[like anyone actually wants me to say a lot]
i spent yesterday killing zombies and jumping through portals
today michigan actually got decent weather for once
and i've spent the last three hours packing,
[since i don't ever pack when i should]
my train leaves at 8`30 a/m
so... yeah
i'll be back in a few months
you know where to find me

[i may or may not revamp my russia blag for use in nyc
if i do, i'll post a link or something,
if not, i'll just do something on here]

8/16/10

fire–flaucht

this lonely existence paves the way
for the hard of hearts must beat, be brave
while this quiet lightning storm
wrecks the harvest gold we try to sow

so it begins, the way the blood still dances beneath the skin
as the messenger from hell says, we're bound to win
as the days they come, but the years they go
so take care of your freedom, they'll never know

i sit on the wing for a blackbird's song
to tell me where and when this all went wrong
there's no resolution without remorse
ignorance is bliss, defend, let's stay the course

puncture the skin, and see it's blood run cold on desert sand
come hear the men from mothers with childless hands
as the days they come, but the years they go
so take care of your freedom, they'll never know
take good care of your freedom, they'll never know

take what you give until there's nothing left but forever lived
and night descends on shadows without their kill

as the days they come, but the years they go
so take care of your freedom, they'll never know
yeah, take good care of your freedom, they'll never know

as the days they come, but the years they go
so take care of your freedom, they'll never know

8/13/10

divendres

it's friday afternoon
and i'm on the train again
blinded by orange
the conductor's yelling something
but the kids are yelling
'we're bein' held up again!'

and it's so cold out
and i'm not getting warmer
by walking faster
and i must look really silly
like a hermit crab in rush hour
to see you

and you're sleeping peacefully
and i'm walking frantically
and i wouldn't have it any other way
without you, babe

8/12/10

우울

persistent mystic faults my vision
it's like always this point of collision
it's raining in my cranium
my head feels like a stadium

three pounds of gray about to burst
inside my three pound universe
it's raining in my cranium
my head feels like a stadium

symbols i've been givin' to express my goal
always come up short
you know they just don't get that low

it's raining inside my cranium
my head feels like a stadium
these are the melancholy mechanics of my mind

quick release chemicals strike with incomprehensible precision
biorganic electronics targeting microscopic destinations of devastation
cleaner than light, meaner than a laser fight in the knight 2000
billions of micro maniacs unknown to most
as the uncontrollable soldiers of suffering succotash
instantaneous infiltration leaves me with a case of bustation–frustration
alone in the constellation of alienation
detached from empty conversation
i wait, i wait
for the wave to break

8/11/10

język

hot

you can keep your black tongue
well, i found at the mortuary
you know you're gonna want some, want some
we're high in the back room,
gonna have a pack soon
with this you will regret,
so just let it be, yeah yeah yeah

sunny kept his ring on,
red tape so ordinary
love acting like it was gone gone, gone gone
let's do this like a prison break,
i wanna see you squeal and shake

we're gonna keep it in the family
yeah well, you know we're on the run
you know they're gonna want some, want some
we're high in the back room,
gonna have a pack soon
with this you will regret,
just let it be your yeah yeah yeah

boy, you just a stupid bitch
and girl, you just a no good dick

8/10/10

skøre

i can see very well,
there's a boat on the reef with a broken back
and i can see it very well
there's a joke, and i know it very well
it's one of those i told you long ago
take my word, i'm a madman
don't you know?

once a fool had a good part in the play
it it's so, would i still be here today?
it's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way
they think it's very funny, everything i say
get a load of him, he's so insane
you better get your coat, dear,
it looks like rain

the ground's a long way down,
but i need more
is the nightmare black,
or are the windows painted?
will they come again next week?
can my mind really take it?

we'll come again next thursday afternoon
the in–laws hope they'll see you very soon
but is it in your conscience that you're after?
another glimpse of the madman across the water

8/9/10

dolçor

if you're listening,
sing it back
string from your tether unwinds
upward and outward to bind

are you listening?
sing it back
so tell me, what do i need
when words lose their meaning?

stumble till you crawl
sinking into sweet uncertainty

if you're listening
[if you're listening, are you listening?]
sing it back
[if you're listening, are you listening?]
and i'm still running away
[still running away]
won't play your hide and seek game
[your hide and seek game]

i was spinning free
with a little sweet and simple numbing me
what a dizzy dance
the sweetness will not be concerned with me

no, the sweetness will not be concerned with me

8/5/10

union pass

i've had a weird day
[truthfully i've had a weird summer]
but today it seemed to hit a weird crescendo
not sure why, but i guess that's how it goes sometimes

also, unrelated,
i had a ridiculous wave of nostalgia hit me last night
truth be told, it was kinda painful
it was all triggered by a single song [as it so often is]
the song doesn't have any specific meaning to me,
it really isn't all that good, either,
but it was on a cd i used to listen to all the time
mostly during the summer after sophomore year of h/s
in retrospect, it was the best summer i've ever had
i had no responsibilities at all,
i spent almost every day playing tennis and swimming,
and almost every night playing video games
put simply, i was happy
and i had a great time that summer,
and hung out with a lot of cool people
i hadn't thought about it in a long time,
and then it just fucking hit me last night when that song came on
[there's really no point in me saying all this,
so i hope no one was looking for one]

i sold a book online today,
something that hasn't happened in almost a year
i've made dinner for my family twice this week,
something that's never happened
and i'm not particularly looking forward to summer ending,
something that's never happened
refer back to my original point

i haven't played any starcraft today
and that's kinda disappointing
that's all

8/2/10

păpuși

well, i saw you once,
then i blew it for the next ten thousand days
i should have kept away
i needed to come back and show you,
i needed to go back
i know it's wrong
i'll have to get along

well, i spent the whole day yesterday
on clichés about love,
making me remember when your pushes became shoves
i wanted to come back and show you,
needed to go back
i know it's wrong
i'll have to get a long

so why'd you go and play my trust?
today's the same as yesterday,
and i'm okay
i'll take the doctor's recommended time to get along
since you've been gone,
i'll get along any way at all

mama just called, said she's tucked away
mama just called, said she's tucked away another day
mama just called, said she's tucked away
mama just called, said she's extra sad today

8/1/10

királyság

i've been waiting three years to be able to say this,
and the time has finally come:
it's daybreak, and i just got home from work
after being there all night


saying that was almost enough to give me a stiffy
i've been looking for a third shift job for years, literally
and i've never had any luck getting one
closest i got was working close at the caf
and that was less late–night, more hideous torture
but now, i get legit third shift hours
and i'm fucking pumped
of course, i'm the only person i know who would be
how sad is it that overnight shifts actually excite me?

eh, i'll ponder the pathetic implications later
i've got starcraft to play

7/30/10

lascelles

i love my cat
she gives the best looks
[which is no surprise, considering i'm infamous for mine]
also, she's cuddly and all black
and i love her good
that is all

i seem to be at odds with lots of people i know
most seem to be clamoring for school to start up again
[which is still a month off]
while i'm enjoying my summer and not really ready for it to end
talk about a fucking role reversal
usually i can't wait for summer to be done
so it goes

also,
i can't really peg down a reason for this,
but despite the fact that i've spent a lot of time down in e/l this summer
[which is an inexact qualifier,
since any time is a lot compared to the none of summers past]
i've felt more isolated from my friends than i thought i would
not really sure why,
but i feel this weird disconnect from everyone i've talked to/seen
maybe i'm regressing into my old friendship fears/insecurities
that or i'm so blinded by stupidity i'm imagining all of it
who the fuck knows

ALSO,
i would like it known that i typed 'friendhip' originally in the above,
and it cracked my shit up
i imagined a weird adam's rib–type situation,
where you break off pieces of your hip bone[s]
and create friends by growing them in a host body
i'm gonna chalk that up to fatigue and dementia

7/26/10

saulė

ta kõnnib mööda köit
kahe pilvelõhkuja vahel
kergel sammul läheb
kui kõnniks lihtsalt mööda teed
habras õhuke joon
viib üle hea ja kurja vahelt
silmapiir ta ees
kui unistuste riim

on tõusmas tuul
aega jäänud on vähe
uudistaja pilgud taevas
jälgivad ta teed
nii kõndides
kui hea ja kurja vahel
ta endale kindlaks jäädes
kaugustesse läheb

päikese poole
tormi–lindude tee viib kaasa
kandes ta soove
suurlinna tolmustelt teedelt
valguse poole
hämaraist varjudest kaugemale
samm–haaval liigub
noor ja kartmatu hing

7/20/10

al–fallujah

i normally try not to d this,
and i can't promise i'll never do it again,
but i want to draw you guys' attention to something:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-10547610
please, read the article all the way through,
then be as pissed about it as i am,
and continue

in short:
if you are a member of the u.s. military,
you were given training, given a paid position,
and never had the misfortune of being in combat,
be fucking thankful
be grateful, be relieved, and quit being an asshole
if you are a person who enlisted in the military,
and you are 'frustrated, disappointed, or shamed',
then you obviously didn't sign up for the right reasons
you should never sign up for the military for the following reasons:
–'misguided rage'
–xenophobia
–racism
–the urge to kill someone
–desire to be wounded
–desire to see combat, or
–recognition and/or achievement

if you enlist for any of the above,
then there's a reason you never saw combat
if you are so angry that you enlist solely to kill 'the enemy'
then there's no difference between you and a serial killer
the people in this article are not who should be representing the u.s.
these are bloodthirsty murderers who wanted to get away with it
i repeat: if you are so lucky that you serve a stint without seeing combat,
be fucking grateful
because i would rather die at the hands of al–qaeda
than be fought for by any of the people in that article

7/16/10

사기

my pain is self chosen
at least, so the prophet says
i could either burn,
or cut off my pride and buy some time

a head full of lies is the weight,
tied to my waist

my pain is self chosen
at least, i believe it to be
i could either drown,
or pull off my skin and swim to shore
now i can grow a beautiful shell
for all to see

the river of deceit pulls down, yeah,
the only direction we flow is down
down, oh down

the pain is self chosen, yeah,
our pain is self chosen

7/14/10

nicotinamidase

wish i could say i have something new to say
but, i really don't
i can say, though,
that i finally got that shitty electrodancepop out of my system
after six straight fucking days of it
apparently, there was only one acceptable followup to it
classical
i guess béla bartók follows up dan black better than i thought
who'd have known

as a complete aside,
i have a particular affinity for bartók
mostly his incredible efforts in cataloging european folk music
i've always found him to be incredibly underrated
since, as martin landau says in ed wood,
'now, nobody gives two fucks for béla'
[it's at 2`20]
i also got some more cds of him today at the library
which i am so looking forward to listening to

well,
since i've moved on to better music
i'm going to listen to the soothing sounds of román népi táncok
probly while blowing shit up in call of duty
summer definitely has it's pluses

7/8/10

duluoz

after a week of 90º or higher, coupled with 50% humidity,
i have two thoughts:
how the fuck do people in the south not kill themselves?
and, thank sweet and holy jaysus for a/c
the heat/humid combo also makes impossible to get shit done
considering how much i sweat [and how little it takes to make me sweat]
i really don't like working in the heat
so everyday i've come in from outside, i've been fucking soaked
fuck this bullshit nonsense, i'm moving to greenland
guess it's time for me to learn danish

my efforts to keep busy have mostly been a success
after vowing that i wouldn't waste another summer doing 'nothing'
['nothing' being watching tv, playing video games, and drinking slurpees]
i've been doing basically anything that'll make me do something
the bulk of it's been yardwork,
which is never not a blast and a half
my job was supposed to help with this too,
but considering how few hours i've gotten since i started,
it's a miserable failure in that regard
such is life in genesee county, i guess

i'm not really sure why,
but i got three different invites to audition for shit today
nothing major, just some random projects/plays people are putting on
i'm just surprised/confused they came at the same time
i might consider them,
but, since the last summer movie i took part in STILL isn't done,
and the one i started lo these many years ago never took off,
i dunno

and now for something completely different:
this is truly the greatest headline i've read in a long time
jury's still out on whether it was intentional or not,
but it still had 'teh lulz' factor going for it
'tired gay succumbs to dix in 200 meters'
it leads to so many awesome questions:
why was he a tired gay?
why did it take [only] 200 meters for him to succumb?
also, why did they use the word 'succumb'?
you'd think it was more of a willing submission
regardless, good job, reuters reporter

i've been listening to shitty electropop/dance for the past three days
and i can't fucking stop
it's starting to become a real problem
apparently, too much eric prydz, sam sparro, hercules and love affair, alexander perls,
dschinghis khan, frankmusik, lady gaga, david guetta, morandi, and dan black is bad
i can't get this shit out of my head
at least if i die in the near future, you'll know why

6/20/10

haxhi

i am a poor pilgrim of sorrow,
tossed out in this wide world alone
i have no promise of tomorrow
i've started to make heaven my home

i know i'm weak and unworthy
my heart is so prone to sin
but jesus, the savior almighty,
has promised to take me in

my mother has reached the bright glory
my father's still wand'ring in sin
my brothers and sisters won't own me
because i'm trying to get in

when friends and relations forsake me,
when troubles grow 'round me so high,
i think of the kind words of jesus
poor pilgrim, i am always nigh

6/16/10

scfc

it was a big ol' week in the ncaa last week
i was planning to write a post about it
[something about as long as my posts from earlier this year]
but, i'm not gonna
partially cuz i'm kinda lazy
and mostly cuz i don't think anyone would want to read it
so, instead, i'll give you the short version

first up, the big ten has a new member
last friday, we officially accepted nebraska
i'm still on the fence about it
i don't mind the big ten expanding,
honestly i think it's a good thing,
but i don't think nebraska was the best choice
maybe it's just me
i don't think taking from the big 12 was a good move
i have my reasons [and there are plenty]
and, if you want them, you'll get 'em
otherwise, that's it

speaking of the big 12,
they've now lost two of their members
[nebraska being the second]
earlier in the week,
colorado announced that they'll be joining the pac–10
also, in my opinion, not the best move
of all the teams the pac–10 could've taken
i don't see colorado being their best choice
it's not exactly at the calibre of the other pac–10 teams

and, on the subject of the pac–10,
they've also formally extended an offer to utah
which, supposedly, is gonna accept as early as later today
i'm not really sure what the pac–10 is up to,
but they seem to be reaching a bit far for expansion
the big ten does, too
and that seems kinda ridiculous to me
these two conferences are of the best in the country
they don't need to convince schools to join them
schools would line up for days to become part of them

what bothers me about these moves is this:
they all happened in the past week and a half
nebraska applied and was accepted into the big ten on the same day
colorado's decision took about two days
it really makes me question how these things are handled
obviously meetings have been happening for months
why does it all have to be behind closed doors?
even if the public isn't consulted,
which it probly shouldn't be,
they should at least be aware

the only conference change that makes sense to me is boise state
obviously they have really grown into a powerhouse team
and they have way outgrown the wac
so them moving to mountain west makes perfect sense
and the mountain is really looking to establish themselves,
so what better way than to bolster byu, tcu, and utah?
i think boise state'll do well in mountain west
maybe they'll finally get a shot at a national title now,
which they've definitely earned

if i'm feeling up to it tomorrow,
i might rant about some possible 'future re–alignments',
god knows there's some stupid rumors out there
so, consider this a head's up that this'll continue


also, a last side note
tom izzo's officially staying at msu
who honestly didn't see that coming?

sciocco

you took your coat off,
and stood in the rain
you were always crazy like that
and i watched from my window,
always felt i was outside
looking in on you
you're always the mysterious one
with dark eyes and careless hair, you were
fashionably sensitive,
but too cool to care
you stood in my doorway
with nothing to say
besides some comment on the weather

well in case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see
this is my heart,
bleeding before you
this is me,
down on my knees

you were always brilliant in the morning
smoking your cigarettes,
and talking over coffee
your philosophies on art,
baroque moved you,
you loved mozart
and you'd speak of your loved ones
as i clumsily strummed my guitar
you'd teach me of honest things
things that were daring,
things that were clean
things that didn't know what an
honest dollar did mean
i hid my soiled hands behind my back
somewhere along the line,
i must've gone off track with you

well, excuse me,
guess i've mistaken you
for somebody else

somebody who gave a damn,
somebody more like myself

these foolish games
are tearing me apart,
and your thoughtless words
are breaking my heart
you're breaking my heart

you took your coat off,
stood in the rain
you were always crazy like that

6/3/10

ajută–mă

there's another way
there must be another way
this is not a game
we will play it anyway

stare into my screen
it gives me what i need
i'm chomping at the bit
to get my drill feed

getting nothing done
i'm getting nothing done
failing all my friends
and i'm failing everyone

i love your stranglehold
i need your stranglehold
just squeeze until i go cold

help me! help me!
you know me better than i knew myself
mayday! m'aidez!
send angels, i'm a danger to myself
you know me better than i knew myself

how long, how long was i sleeping?

5/31/10

viaxeiros

kõrbe kuumuses liiva
lendab kui jääkülma lund
öö peagi laotamas tiivad
rändajaid saatma jääb tuul

külmunud hingi vaid saadab
kuuvalgus, varje neist loob
päikesekiirena sooja
hommik taas endaga toob

nad rändavad nii päevast päeva
nad rändavad siis ajast aega
ta nähtamatu rajana kulgeb
ta ootab kui riskida julged

üle mägede taevasse kaigub hääl

see on tee, nad rändavad nii päevast päeva
see on tee, nad rändavad siis ajast aega
see on tee, ta nähtamatu rajana kulgeb
nende ees, ta ootab kui riskida julged

5/30/10

touhou eiyashou

been a while, hasn't it?
i'm sure you were all just crushed

since i'm sure a few of you are expecting this:
HARBLGRAHASFDSBALHA I'M 21 NOW N SHIT
rundown of what i did on thursday:
–nothing
...
so that was fun
i honestly didn't do anything on my birthday
i read some graphic novels, had bagel bites
and then watched a movie later that night
my facebook got plenty of action, though
[i got messages from people i haven't seen in YEARS
weird how that works]

friday, however, is a different story
after having a delicious meal of boneless ribs at bdubs
[which was not a good idea]
i went up to dublin square to get some guinness in me
met up with jillian [who i'd kept waiting], chrissy, and sean
saw liz and beagles too, but they were heading to a co–op
it was a pretty good night, all told
finally had an irish carbomb [two, actually]
went back to sean's, watched some archer
[HOLY SHIT do i love that show like you wouldn't believe]
didn't sleep much, went to ihop for breakfast,
then drove home
doesn't quite reach dr merrill's epic 21st,
but i suppose it'll do

finally got to play some carter with tennis today
i've missed it
him and i made really good partners back in the day
and it's just fun to hit around with him for a while
when him and nick are playing together, though
oh man
it's like watching slapstick

nothing else to really report
still unemployed, still lonely, still pale and bearded
i've been reading a lot since i got home though,
which is something i've really been missing out on
it's nice to finally do it on my terms
hopefully i'll keep it up all summer
other than that, i got nothing

i got this:
this year's eurovision contest was one by germany
a song called 'satellite' by lena
i'm glad the eurovision winners are keeping my prediction true,
which is that each year the winning song gets much, much worse
i made that prediction in during the 2007 contest
that winner was 'molitva' by marija šerifović [a decent song, at best]
i figured, if that one managed to beat out all the others,
it'd only keep getting worse
in 2008, dima bilan won with 'believe'
in 2009, alexander rybak won with 'fairytale'
[in his defense, though, he can fiddle like a sumbitch]
and this year, lena won
see what i mean?

5/26/10

ði

glóandi augu, silfurnátt
bloð alvöru, starir á
óður hundur er í vígamoð, í maga... mér

kolniður gref, kvik sem dreg hér
kolniður svart, hvergi bjart né

kolniður og, mistur úti
en í mér, rikir óveður

kolniður og dimmur lekur blek
eg reyni og brenni báta skel
langt móldur og okkur
myrkyr grám, grám hér
dauða hjár, linnurst, skrjáfandi

ein brý aður, ég út von nei
sjálfur blindur a, yfir nóg
og ég kjústigpað um...

dúru rurú
dúru rurú

5/14/10

ogooué

i got to cook today
and i was fucking ecstatic about it
i very rarely enjoy making myself food
[even though i love eating good stuff]
but today, goddamn it, i was gonna
so i did
and the resulting feast was glorious
i made a russian meal of epic proportions
schi, two types of salat, chicken kiev,
along with some nice dark rye and tvorog
finished off with some black tea
made me feel like i was back in volgograd
[also, i'm getting closer to perfecting the schi
i'm trying to replicate lyuda's,
but i'm still not there yet]
at any rate, i'm debating what i should make next
i'm sure i'll think of something

also, since i've been asked about it by a number of people,
the play was incredible
we had a disappointing turnout,
[probly due to cancelling one of the performances]
but man did they appreciate it
and the show really pulled itself together tech week
first day down in the theater put everything in motion
[unlike some other recent roial shows,
brick and oppenheimer, to name a few]
and we had three fucking amazing shows that weekend
i'm kinda sorry to see that show end
i don't pine after it like lots of actors do,
but i'd still love to do another performance
it's nice to end the year on a high note like that
pity i couldn't have last year, too

i'm sure none of you give a rat's ass about this,
but my job search is ever ongoing
hopefully i'll find something halfway decent
that or something that pays well
god knows i'll need as much money as i can get my hands on
housing in nyc ain't gonna be cheap

also, as a complete sidenote:
they updated the wikipedia homepage
and refurbed some details of it
most notably: the links aren't as blue as they used to be
they're more blue/gray now
why do i always notice shit like this?

5/7/10

live at gotham

hey blogosphere, guess what?
i actually have something to say today
nice a change of pace, isn't it?
i would've shared a few days ago,
but i figured i'd let finals finish before i did



i got good news about three days ago
first good news i'd gotten in a while, actually
turns out, i got accepted for the internship i applied for
but, that in and of itself isn't a huge deal
the big deal is that it's a semester long
and it's not at msu
this fall, i'm gonna be studying at cuny on scholarship,
[city university of new york]
taking classes in labor history
and interning with a union organization
[plus, i get a weekly stipend]
i'm pretty fuckin stoked about it

i figured i should probly make this public knowledge
especially since i'll have to cancel on some commitments,
but it's still kinda cool, yeah?
i've been lookin to take a break from school for a while
msu's great, don't get me wrong,
but the novelty starts to wear off after a while
and, nothing like new york for a change of pace,
hopefully my dislike for it will wear off quickly

also, since i'm sure some of you would jump at the opportunity,
consider this an open invitation to come visit
i'm sure i could use the company

5/3/10

djävulen

bury me softly in this womb
i give this part of me for you
sand rains down and here i sit,
holdin' rare flowers in a tomb... in bloom

down in a hole, and i don't know if i can be saved
see my heart? i decorate it like a grave
you don't understand who they thought i was supposed to be
look at me now: a man who won't let himself be

down in a hole, and they've put all the stones in their place
i've eaten the sun, so my tongue has been burned of the taste
i have been guilty of kicking myself in the teeth
i will speak no more of my feelings beneath

bury me softly in this womb
[oh, i want to be inside of you]
i give this part of me for you
[oh, i want to be inside of you]
sand rains down and here i sit,
holdin' rare flowers in a tomb... in bloom
[oh, i want to be inside of you]
oh, i want to be inside

down in a hole, feelin' so small
down in a hole, losin' my soul
i'd like to fly,
but my wings have been so denied

4/26/10

akap

this was my exact thought first thing this morning:
'i have insane final fantasy hair'
and you know, i was tempted to leave it that way
but, better judgment took hold
well, that and i didn't want to be asked about it all damn day
so, instead, it's in its normal emo swoop
which is exciting for everyone

so, nike finally unveiled the new msu uniforms
if any of you haven't seen it, here they are
personally, i like them
i don't agree that their a 'bold new look for msu athletics'
but i like the designs that nike did
[which i wasn't expecting,
considering how pissed i was about the logo change]
however, they kinda dropped the ball on one thing they proposed
they said they were gonna give the programs uniformity,
and make them a little more similar and singular
one was to do that is to give all the uniforms the same blazon
half the uniforms have 'SPARTANS' on them,
the other half 'MICHIGAN STATE'
and only a few of them actually have the spartan head on it
they probly should've just picked one to go with
i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin'

i dunno if any of you are expecting me to do a spiel about the draft
but i'm not going to
mostly because i don't give a damn about it,
but that isn't my main reason
entirely too much is made of the draft every year
especially around here, because of the damn lions
every year they draft the guy who's gonna turn them around
every year this draft class is gonna be the pivot
it's important, don't get me wrong
but not the end–all huge fucking event it's made out to be
it also amazes me that people do mock drafts
why fucking bother?
it's not gonna be even close to right,
so why waste your time [especially if you're not being paid to do it?]
at any rate,
i'm not gonna analyze the draft
so there

is it a little sad that i'm looking forward to a summer of working?
i really need to get away from this academic b/s for a while
love my major with a nerdy fervor like i do,
we need to take a break from each other,
reassess our relationship, maybe make some changes
that or i just need to do something that doesn't require much thought
some sort of menial job so i can focus on the bigger picture
that or i just feel like being lazy

as a parting thought,
i used a lot of links in this post
gotta be some sort of record for me
[disregarding the fuhbal series]



update:
i woke up with the insane final fantasy hair again today
i'm on some sort of role, i think
i think my next step is riding a chocobo to my classes,
and insisting people start calling me 'cloud'

4/16/10

nscl

holy shit, son
do i have news for you people

this year, in us news & world report's yearly ranking of grad schools/programs,
itchose five msu grad programs as #1 in the country for their respective fields
guess what they are?
–elementary education
–secondary education
–rehabilitation counseling
–industrial and organizational psychology
NUCLEAR FUCKING PHYSICS

that's right, i'm not lying
msu beat out the massachusetts institute of technology and cal tech in nuclear physics
this is fucking incredible
the fact that we have five number one programs is awesome
[and our college of ed has been number one for sixteen years]
but the fact that we edged out such a science powerhouse is amazing
and now we have the frib at our cyclotron
we're just rockin' the sciencey shit here now

as a side note,
i think msu should get a new slogan for their commercials
enough of this 'advancing knowledge, transforming lives' bullshit
i propose something new:
'Michigan State University: We'll Science the Shit Out of You'


references n shit:
msu article
freep article
state news article

4/15/10

keirle house

are you guys ready for this?
there's no way you can be, but too fucking bad
this is mostly just going to be a really long bitching
you've been warned





PSYCHE
[christ, that's really 90s of me]
that's my version of false advertising
like really stupid headlines that make you read an article
like this one: 'aspirin can reduce migraine symptom pain'
[which is also a big NO SHIT from those of who get them]

apparently, for people i know,
this is the week for shit just not going right [myself included]
at least a dozen people are just having a shitty time of it
which sucks, cuz we're so close to being done
and also shouldn't be a surprise, since it's fucking april
i can't speak for anyone else,
but my profs have played a big part in mine
my history prof got all indignant cuz we didn't read all her extraneous bullshit
and zarema's gotten mad at us three classes in a row,
which is a record for at [with our class, at least]
i guess we just aren't up to her expectations,
which is just shocking
that, and everyday this week i've felt like i've made bad decisions
but today, i made two good ones:
i opened a window during rehearsal to get a goddamn breeze,
and i made myself a delicious sammich
slowly but surely, i'm getting better

i'm slowly becoming covered in bruises,
mostly around my elbows and knees
i really need to stop throwing myself on the floor with such vigor
that or i need to not do it as often
oh well, s'what i get for being 'dedicated to my craft'
also, i need to learn to not be so goddamn awkward
i'm currently out–awkwarding a freshman gal,
which really speaks volumes, doesn't it?

i have a russia–tastic weekend coming up,
don't go getting jealous, now
friday i have russian club, russian class, then russian food party
saturday i have a presentation on russia to give to high schoolers
then sunday is the zolotoj plyos concert
i haven't had that much russia shoved into that little time since i was there
let me tell you, it's not as much fun as it sounds
and it doesn't really sound like fun at all

final thought:
if it gets up to 80º today,
i will murder something with a cotton candy bucket

4/14/10

cerība

along the avenue of hope
the footsteps falter, the fingers grope
and days stretch out beneath the sun
no one's born, and no one dies
no one loves, so no one cries
and we wait to see just what we will become

don't let me falter, don't let me ride
don't let the earth in me subside
let me see just who i will become

you're like the clouds in my hometown
you just grow fat and hang around
and your days stretch out beneath the sun

no one's born, and no one dies
no one loves, so no one cries
and we wait to see just what we will become

don't let me borrow, don't let me bring
don't let me wallow, don't make me sing
let me see just who i will become

don't let me falter, don't let me hide
don't let someone else decide
just who or what i will become

don't let them borrow, don't let them bring
don't let them wallow, don't make them sing
let them stretch out beneath the sun

4/10/10

odpoczynek

holy shit, son

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8612825.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/8612888.stm

i wonder how many conspiracy theories are out there already
god knows there's gonna be plenty
especially since they were flying back after the katyń memorial
the worst part of this is, it wasn't just the president and his wife
there was an 85 member delegation with them
including members of the polish cabinet, military chiefs of staff, and others
thankfully the prime minister wasn't on that flight, too
shit's gonna be really heavy in eastern europe for the next few weeks
damn


[for those of you who don't know,
the katyń massacre happened in april 1940;
soviet soldiers and officers received a letter signed by the entire soviet politburo:
it authorized them to gather polish prisoners, politicans, intelligentsia and police,
and then kill them all
around 22,000 were shot in all, and buried in mass graves
all this happened in a large forest outside the village of katyń on russia's border
it was covered up for years,
then, in 1943, while they were scouting the area,
nazi wehrmacht officers discovered the graves, and radioed it in
it caused a huge firestorm between the poles and soviets,
the soviets denying responsibility and blaming germany,
with everyone else [including germany and poland] blaming the soviets
they continued denying these claims until the soviet union fell,
and then, in 1990, the russians finally admitted culpability
there's been tumultuous treatment ever since,
with some russian newspapers still blaming the nazis,
but all three russian presidents have memorialized the event,
this year they invited polish president kaczyński and p/m tusk to the memorial,
since this was the 70th anniversary]

4/7/10

irmãzinha

a last fire will rise behind those eyes
black house will rock, blind boys don't lie
immortal fear, that voice so clear
through broken walls that scream i hear

blue masquerade strangers look on
when will they learn this loneliness?
temptation heat beats like a drum
deep in your veins, i will not lie

my shangri–las i can't forget
why you were mine, i need you now

cry, little sister — thou shall not fall
come to your brother — thou shall not die
unchain me, sister — thou shall not fear
love is with your brother — thou shall not kill

4/6/10

creggan

tonight is a good night; why?
because tonight is the first thunderstorm of the season
it's been on and off for the past three hours
and i'm in fucking nirvana because of it
and as soon as i'm done writing this,
i'm gonna go walk around in it

this time of year is always difficult for me
i really couldn't say why,
but april has never really been a good month for me
shit always goes wrong in odd ways in april
i usually have things to look forward to,
[like the school year ending]
but i always have a shitty month regardless
last year i about killed myself with the amount of shit i needed to do
the year before that work piled up so fast it made my head spin
and the list goes on, and on
relationships i've had tend to end in april, badly
friendships usually hit some sort of serious problems
school gets that much more difficult
deadlines pile up, and then get missed
i wish i knew what it was about this month
there's really no reason everything goes south in april
because as soon as it becomes may, everything goes fine
just one of those things, i guess
one i could do without

correction:
i didn't wait to finish, and went outside anyway
i love thunderstorms
i love the smell of fresh rain and cool wind
and i LOVE it not being 80º
this weather has my stamp of approval

there was probly something else i was going to say
but i'll be damned if i remember what it was
so i guess it'll just have to wait
i'm sure you'll live
also, good luck tonight, lady huskies
you show them cardinal what's what
uconn: where men are men, and women are champions

addendum:
i got a fun greeting on my way back from 7/11
as i was walking back, there was a break in the rain
i walked back towards the snyder ramp, like usual,
and as i passed the flooded lawn in between snyphi and mason/abbot,
i noticed two ducks, just chillin'
and wallowing in a massive mud puddle
one of them was almost bathing itself in muddy water,
while the other was almost naggingly quacking at it
it made me laugh as i drank my delicious slurpee
PRODUCT PLACEMENT = END

4/2/10

nußschale

we chase misprinted lies
we face the path of time
and yet i fight, and yet i fight
this battle all alone

no one to cry to
no place to call home

my gift of self is raped
my privacy is raked
and yet i find, and yet i find
repeating in my head
if i can't be my own
i'd feel better dead

ooh...

4/1/10

jagjaguwar

we meet again, four a/m
you and i really got to know each other well this year
normally we'd only meeting fleetingly
maybe once or twice a week
sometimes, very rarely, not for a few weeks at a time
but our relationship changed, big time
i didn't know it, but apparently we're going steady
and we have been for over half a year now
glad you finally clued me in

i have to say, though, you could've been less bitchy about it
i understand that you don't like when i don't give you attention
and my hanging out with other times must cut deep
i understand
i think you're too goddamn sensitive,
and it's not that a huge of a deal
but still, i get it,
you're hurt, you felt abandoned maybe?
i'd say i'm sorry, but it was beginning to feel abusive
you had a stranglehold over my mornings
you'd never let me take a nap around you
never let me go and do other things without you
we don't have to see each other every day to be good together
sometimes, time apart helps strengthen the relationship
at least in theory

you'd never let me test that though, would you?
i tried telling you, but you just wouldn't listen to me
so here it is again, and i really need to you to listen this time:
i need some time on my own, away from you
and we need to not hang out again for a while
maybe in a week or so, but definitely not the coming days
you're starting to drive me a little batshit
your constant neediness and mid–night rendezvous are taxing
i can only give you so much, you know
and i don't have much to give

at first you only took up free time
and that's fine, less time spent fucking around on the interwubs is okay
but then, you slowly started creeping into my study time
and i get it, maybe i was being a little neglectful,
but i have other priorities, you know?
then a little study time turned into a lot of study time
and i started falling a bit behind
it wasn't too major, i could make up for it later
but i felt a little used, you know?
like i had no say in what was going on between us
and now? you've taken it to far
i try to sleep at other points during the day to spend time with you,
and you fucking refuse to let me
what the hell?
are you so controlling that i can't spend time with anyone else?
do i constantly need to be in an insomniac stupor to please you?
this is ridiculous

no, you never listen to what i have to say
i've had it with you, and your constant need for attention
you show up unannounced, you always butt in,
i can never get away from you anymore
and you're fucking rude to my friends
i'm calling it off, four a/m
you can pick your stuff up off the curb,
cuz i'm done with you and you using me
i'm my own man
and i demand the ability to sleep around you again
don't make me turn this into an even bigger mess
just let me loose, and find some other poor asshole to siphon off of




needless to say,
my weekday sleep schedule is completely fucked up now
it's become me passing out for an hour or two every six to eight hours
which is not beneficial in any way
i do tend to make up for it on the weekends,
but man is it a bitch five days a week
at this point i'm in need of a hard system reboot
that or the six–inch drop test
cuz this is goddamn ridiculous
off to studying i go, i guess

3/30/10

râu

там, вдали за рекой
засверкали огни
в небе ясном заря дорогала
сотня юных бойцов
из будённовских войск
на разведку в поля поскакала

они ехали долго
в ночной тишине
по широкой украинской степи
вдруг вдали у реки
заверскали штыки
это белогвардейские цепи

и без страха отряд
поскакал на врага
завязалась кровавая битва
и боец молодой
вдруг поник головой
комсомольское сердце пробито

он упал возле ног
вороного коня
и закрыл свои карие очи
ты, конёк вороной
передай дорогой
что я честно погиб за рабочих

там, вдали за рекой
уж погасил огни
в небе ясном заря загоралась
капли крови густой
из груди молодой
на зелёную трабку сбегали

3/29/10

œdipus complex

for all of you out there who appreciate greek tragedy
a little play on the theme of oedipus rex
it's kinda raunchy, kinda weird, but really funny
gotta love the british sense of humor

3/27/10

blue boar club

as a male in the 18–35 age demographic,
i love me some video games [big surprise, yeah?]
and this week i finally got to play some again
after a few weeks of abstinence/lack of time
and as i was playing one of my favorites from high school,
[the one with, among other things, the angry bitey rabbits]
i could hear a song playing in my head,
but i couldn't remember what the hell it was
i stopped playing and looked it up
turns out, it was 'everything burns',
a song i used to listen to all the time when i played it

i'm not sure how often this happens with the rest of you,
but for me,
every game i play has a song/album i associate with it
going back all the way to my old computer games
and i every time i hear these songs
i always really want to play those games again
[kinda like my part–of–speech/color connection]

dunno if this is gonna interest anyone in the least,
but i'm gonna put some of these song/game combos up
maybe you'll find something you like from them
or, at the very least,
it'll give you something to make fun of me for


wolfenstein 3d – eric clapton, cold turkey
starcraft – craig armstrong, hanging
weird world – straylight run, existentialism on prom night
dune 2000 – frank klepacki, land of sand
midtown madness – matchbox 20, downfall
empire II – weird al, amish paradise

gta III – craig gray, fade away
gta: vice city – imogen heap, daylight robbery/diane reeves, how high the moon
gta: san andreas – ludovico einaudi, andare
gta liberty city stories – mobb deep, shook ones, pt. 2
gta vice city stories – the cult, she sells sanctuary
bully – the honorary title, stuck at sea
maximo: ghosts to glory – korn, thoughtless
maximo vs. army of zin – anastacia f/ ben moody, everything burns
mafia – duke ellington, the mooche
killzonee – john murphy, sunshine [adagio in d minor]
call of duty: finest hour – red army choir, там, вдали за рекой
call of duty: big red one – christopher lennertz, to stalingrad
the godfather – stephen sondheim, johanna
true crime: streets of la – goon squad, royal blunt
true crime: new york city – we are scientists, callbacks
metal gear solid 2 – don davis, navras
metal gear solid 3 – starsailor, way to fall
star wars, episode III – john williams, the droid invasion
left4dead – charlie clouser, hello zepp
left4dead 2 – dirty dozen brass band, i shall not be moved
medal of honor: frontline – michael giacchino, er lässt mich niemals allein

3/25/10

femei

gee, ain't it hard to love someone,
someone when they don't love you
feelin' so disgusted, heartbroken too
i hardly know, i hardly know what to do

once i was crazy, i was crazy about a gal
a gal that mistreated me all the time
but the next gal i get,
she must promise me she'll be mine
all mine

ain't never loved but three womens in my life
well, i ain't never loved but three womens in my life
that was my mother and my sister,
and the gal that wrecked my life

but someday, i'll have the world in a jug
and i'll hold the stopper here in my hand
someday i'll have the world in a jug
and i'll have that stopper right here in my hand
lord, an' i'm gonna hold my baby
until she come under my command

but baby, when i'm gone
i wonder who's gonna walk in and take my place?
baby, tell me, when i'm gone
who's gonna walk in an' take my place?
you know, i'm sorry for the guy
if i catch him snorin' in my baby's face

3/18/10

stå

somethin' filled up my heart with nothin'
someone told me not to cry
but now that i'm older, my heart's colder
i can see that it's a lie

children wake up, hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust
if children don't grow up,
our bodies get bigger, but our hearts get torn up
we're just a million little gods causin' rain storms,
turnin' every good thing into rust

i guess we'll just have to adjust

with my lightnin' bolts a–glowin'
i can see where i am goin' to be
when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand
you better look out below

3/16/10

œcanthus fultoni

this is going to be really long, and likely offensive
but i don't give a damn
this was one of the funniest aim convos i've had in a while
hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as i did
[names changed to protect the guilty]



12`51`17 AM them: do you like Thin Mint girl scout cookies?
12`51`22 AM me: yes
12`51`26 AM them: i hate mint cookies
12`51`44 AM them: good. i'll bring them with me tomorrow
12`51`51 AM me: why do you have them, then?
12`52`13 AM them: my mom gave me an entire bag of girl scout cookie boxes and forgot to give the Thin Mints to my dad
12`52`30 AM them: so now i'm stuck with a cookie i hate, which makes me very uncomfortable
12`54`06 AM me:  because you are a crazy woman
12`57`09 AM me: you would be uncomfortable with cookies you hate
12`57`09 AM them: not crazy
12`57`15 AM me: yes, you are
12`57`21 AM me: why don't you mail the cookies to your dad?
12`57`43 AM them: mail them?
12`57`47 AM them: why would i do that?
12`57`52 AM me: or drive them, whatever
12`58`00 AM them: there are perfectly good people here to eat them
12`58`03 AM me: don't argue semantics, crazy woman
12`58`15 AM them: it's not the semantics
12`58`22 AM me: if they're for your dad, why don't you give them to him?
12`58`23 AM them: i just don't understand why others can't eat them
12`58`45 AM them: they're not expressly for my father
12`58`49 AM them: she just bought a bunch
12`58`52 AM me: ah
12`58`54 AM them: i think he has some of his own
12`58`56 AM me: i thought she bought them for him
12`59`00 AM them: no
12`59`14 AM them: at least, i don't think so
12`59`21 AM me: have you asked?
12`59`23 AM them: no
12`59`27 AM me: of course you didn't
12`59`53 AM them: dude, he can just go and BUY some if he's craving them so much
1`00`07 AM me: why would he BUY some
1`00`13 AM me: when he already has the ones you absconded
1`00`30 AM them: for the money it takes to ship them/the gas money it takes to drive there, he could buy two boxes
1`00`37 AM them: i did NOT abscond with them
1`00`40 AM them: they were given to me
1`00`44 AM them: this is not my fault
1`00`59 AM them: do not fault me for things i have little control over
1`01`04 AM them: i'm innocent in this situation
1`01`11 AM them: i could just throw them away
1`01`14 AM them: but NO
1`01`17 AM them: i asked if you wanted them
1`01`26 AM them: i'm not trying to poison you, for fuck's sake
1`01`31 AM them: just take the cookies and be happy
1`01`33 AM them: ...christ


1`03`13 AM them: i'm already up in arms over MY favorite girl scout cookie and it's lack of FUCKING SUBSTANCE
1`03`16 AM them: they changed my cookie
1`03`31 AM them: it's like an anorexic version of the old cookie
1`03`32 AM me: what kind is that
1`03`35 AM them: i'm crushed
1`03`41 AM them: the Peanut Butter Patties
1`03`59 AM them: or sometimes called Tagalongs
1`05`28 AM me: WHAT THE FUCK
1`05`35 AM them: i KNOW
1`05`48 AM me: why the fuck would they kill that delicious little slice of jesus?
1`05`49 AM me: WHY
1`05`52 AM me: ANSWER ME
1`06`01 AM them: I DON'T KNOW
1`06`05 AM them: i wish i knew
1`06`09 AM me: WHY
1`06`19 AM them: POR QUE???
1`06`30 AM me: WHY THE FUCK, WOMAN!
1`06`52 AM them: IT'S NOT MY FAULT
1`06`57 AM them: I'M JUST AS CRUSHED AS YOU ARE
1`07`02 AM me: you're a goddamn liar
1`07`08 AM me: no one is ever as crushed as i am
1`07`16 AM them: ...
1`07`19 AM them: that's a bit melodramatic
1`07`32 AM me: your goddamn cunt hair is melodramatic
1`07`34 AM me: THIS IS SERIOUS


1`08`14 AM them: perhaps a strongly worded letter to the girl scouts
1`08`48 AM me: that won't do shit
1`08`57 AM them: then what do you suggest?
1`09`03 AM them: murder?
1`09`13 AM me: of course not, don't be fucking ridiculous
1`09`23 AM me: pain, torture, pillaging, and publicity
1`09`27 AM me: and rape
1`09`40 AM them: i REFUSE to rape a girl scout
1`09`46 AM them: i can do the ret
1`09`48 AM them: *rest
1`09`51 AM them: but no raping
1`09`56 AM me: what the hell kind of sick fucking monster are you?
1`09`59 AM them: they would bleed too much
1`10`01 AM me: you think i'd rape a girl scout?
1`10`04 AM me: jesus christ
1`10`09 AM me: i'm not a goddamn animal
1`10`45 AM them: hey hey hye
1`10`49 AM them: you're the one that said rape
1`11`00 AM me: yeah
1`11`12 AM me: the fucking women who make up the recipes and make decisions about the cookie production
1`11`14 AM them: what? you gonna bumfuck their moms?
1`11`28 AM me: not the fucking girl scouts you barbarous fuck face
1`11`39 AM them: sorry
1`11`46 AM them: jumped to conclusions
1`12`06 AM me: christ on a goddamn crutch in december holding a duck
1`12`12 AM me: your assumptions make me sick
1`12`34 AM them: oh gimme a break
1`12`42 AM them: you cannot pretend to be offended
1`12`50 AM me: untrue
1`12`50 AM them: i don't buy it
1`12`57 AM me: affrontation = capitals
1`12`58 AM me: ergo
1`13`29 AM me: YOU SICKEN ME YOU COCK GROPPING CHILD'S HERSHEY HIGHWAY HITCHHIKER
1`13`51 AM them: look, i think we're all a little worked up due to the loss of a good cookie and years of tradition
1`14`01 AM them: let's just take a nice, deep, soothing breath in
1`14`03 AM them: and out
1`14`17 AM them: wait
1`14`21 AM them: what did you just call me?
1`14`37 AM me: sorry, misprint
1`14`40 AM me: i meant GROPING
1`14`46 AM them: how did the Hershey company get dragged into this
1`14`48 AM them: ?
1`15`18 AM me: you've never heard the term 'hershey highway hitchhiker'?
1`15`22 AM me: think it through
1`15`28 AM them: ....
1`15`30 AM them: ewwww


1`17`02 AM them: poor cookie
1`20`51 AM me: the FUCK did you do to that cookie you sick sitophiliac?
1`21`10 AM them: hey now!
1`21`57 AM them: i don't make the cookie decisions around here
1`22`03 AM them: i just eat 'em
1`22`09 AM them: just like you
1`22`12 AM them: eat them
1`22`12 AM me: that's even worse
1`22`19 AM me: you're passively allowing this to occur
1`22`29 AM them: I HAD NO IDEA UNTIL I OPENED THE BOX
1`22`37 AM them: how else was i supposed to proceed?
1`22`44 AM them: they already have their money
1`22`55 AM them: i'm not going to boycott and good cookie, even if it has lost weight
1`23`08 AM them: i can mourn, but it's not the cookie's fault either
1`23`09 AM me: by not proceeding and leaving your fucking disgusting paraphilias out of the consumption of delicious treats
1`24`37 AM them: you know
1`24`44 AM them: we've skipped some levels
1`24`46 AM them: ....
1`24`59 AM them: and i'm not quite sure how this became MY FUCKING FAULT


1`26`32 AM me: i've discovered your horrifying paraphilia for cookies and anal child rape
1`26`49 AM them: HEY
1`26`59 AM them: i said i WOULDN'T rape a girl scout
1`27`12 AM me: girl scouts aren't the only children
1`27`16 AM them: it's not up to me to tell you what YOU can and cannot do
1`27`43 AM them: if you want to rape children, i cannot stop you from doing it
1`27`49 AM them: that's all i was saying
1`27`52 AM me: it is when it's outside the confines of LEGALITY and MORALITY
1`28`14 AM them: ...not when anyone knows about it
1`29`15 AM me: oh my god
1`29`22 AM me: did you really just say that?
1`29`36 AM me: jesus christ
1`29`40 AM me: i knew it, i fucking knew it
1`30`40 AM them: i admitted to nothing
1`30`45 AM them: you don't know anything, got me?
1`30`49 AM them: not
1`30`50 AM them: a
1`30`51 AM them: thing
1`31`02 AM me: i know more than you think i do
1`31`36 AM them: oh, i know what you know. and now you know that i know what you know
1`31`40 AM them: and you know jack shit
1`31`43 AM them: GOT ME?
1`32`08 AM me: i guess ignorance is well suited to you
1`32`16 AM me: fine, i'll play along
1`32`22 AM me: i know nothing, jack shit, squat
1`32`30 AM them: that's right
1`32`44 AM me: but
1`33`00 AM me: you'll find out how much i "don't know" when the feds come a–knockin'
1`33`34 AM them: they'll never come
1`33`45 AM them: i cover my tracks good
1`33`45 AM me: how do you figure?
1`33`52 AM them: ....not that there are any tracks to cover
1`33`55 AM me: but they're the feds
1`33`59 AM them: because i'm clean as a new whistle
1`34`00 AM me: they're watching all of us all the time
1`34`06 AM me: bullshit you are
1`34`19 AM them: lets just say i've got 'em in my back *ahem* pocket
1`34`27 AM them: i'm free as a bird
1`34`33 AM me: yeah right
1`34`51 AM them: i do
1`34`53 AM me: you know how to pay off feds like the guys from office space know how to launder money
1`35`16 AM them: well, secrets haven't spilled until now, have they?
1`35`55 AM me: paying off the feds and lying to your acquaintances are two different things



1`36`30 AM them: i can take care of myself
1`36`36 AM me: no you can't
1`36`42 AM them: i can, too
1`36`43 AM them: !
1`36`44 AM me: if you could you wouldn't have a wife that you cheat on
1`36`52 AM them: O_o
1`36`57 AM them: i don't cheat on my wife
1`37`05 AM me: you're in bed with the feds
1`37`10 AM me: by your own fucking admission
1`37`12 AM them: i never said that
1`37`15 AM me: i got you on this one
1`37`16 AM them: i never never said that
1`37`17 AM me: oh come on
1`37`23 AM me: you said you got the feds in your back pocket
1`37`23 AM them: i said back pocket
1`37`27 AM them: yeah
1`37`28 AM them: like
1`37`35 AM me: that is the euphemism for fucking the feds in exchange for money/info
1`37`37 AM them: maybe i pay them off in baklava
1`37`42 AM them: you have NOTHING on me
1`38`40 AM me: ergo, you are fucking the feds
1`38`43 AM me: cheating on your wife
1`38`47 AM me: a dirty sitophiliac
1`38`56 AM them: not cheating on the wife
1`38`56 AM me: conspirator to take down the girl scouts of america
1`39`03 AM me: and an altogether unsavory person
1`39`04 AM them: maybe she's the fed that i'm supposedly fucking
1`39`07 AM them: did you ever think of that?
1`39`15 AM me: i did, she couldn't pull it off i don't think
1`39`16 AM me: think
1`39`22 AM them: I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING TO THE GIRL SCOUTS
1`39`28 AM them: they're the ones that offended me
1`39`33 AM them: by changing their cookies
1`39`39 AM them: YOU'RE the one that wanted to take them down
1`40`07 AM me: and unleashing the unholy demon that is your predilections to anal child rape and cock groping
1`40`08 AM them: and my wife is FULL of federal power
1`40`14 AM me: i doubt it


1`42`47 AM them: i should never have offered my cookies
1`42`57 AM them: it was supposed to be a nice gesture
1`42`59 AM me: no, you probly shouldn't have
1`43`05 AM me: and look what you unleashed
1`43`06 AM them: but you turn everything you touch into GARBAGE
1`43`14 AM me: to be fair
1`43`17 AM me: you expect this from me
1`43`24 AM them: i didn't unleash it
1`43`26 AM them: YOU did
1`43`36 AM them: you evil evil....evil thing
1`43`37 AM me: i didn't say anything about unleashing anything
1`43`47 AM me: i merely said it's the kind of thing i'd do
1`43`50 AM me: and i did
1`44`23 AM me: and that's what you get for trying to be nice
1`44`29 AM them: yes
1`44`33 AM them: yes, it certainly is
1`44`41 AM them: ...i'll bring you the cookies anyway
1`44`44 AM them: i don't want them
1`44`53 AM me: i don't like mint cookies
1`45`02 AM them: oh, you fucking liar
1`45`16 AM me: i'm not a fan of them
1`45`28 AM them: ....i think you're making fun of me
1`45`32 AM them: but i'm not sure
1`45`36 AM me: no
1`45`42 AM me: if i was, it'd go something like
1`45`58 AM me: 'i have cookies i don't like here, and their presence makes me extremely uncomfortable and neurotic'
1`46`26 AM them: you told me earlier that you liked thin mints
1`46`34 AM me: i lie
1`46`37 AM them: so either you were lying then or you're lying now
1`46`46 AM them: SOMEBODY HAS TO TAKE THEM
1`46`53 AM them: THEY CANNOT STAY HERE
1`46`53 AM me: that's the $64,000 question
1`46`55 AM me: why?
1`47`00 AM me: they're just cookies
1`47`06 AM them: BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE
1`47`13 AM them: yes, but it's such a waste if they stay here
1`47`15 AM them: not eaten
1`47`15 AM me: what the fuck?
1`47`24 AM me: why do thin mints make you uncomfortable?
1`47`40 AM them: i don't want to talk about it
1`47`44 AM me: but i do
1`47`50 AM them: you've abused me enough for one night
1`48`08 AM me: i'm not going to abuse you about it
1`48`13 AM them: LIES
1`48`13 AM me: i just want to know about it
1`48`17 AM them: no
1`48`21 AM them: you know too much
1`48`24 AM them: FAR too much
1`48`28 AM me: i'm not sure i could abuse an irrational uncomfortability
1`48`37 AM me: and yet you didn't see this whole convo coming, did you?
1`48`43 AM them: oh, you could
1`48`49 AM me: but i won't
1`48`52 AM them: you could abuse anything if you tried hard enough
1`49`08 AM me: nothing i say will be as cruel/unusual as your reasons for being uncomfortable around a cookie
1`51`02 AM them: my reasons aren't cruel
1`51`08 AM them: they're quite the opposite
1`51`17 AM them: though, they might be unusual
1`51`20 AM them: but they don't matter
1`51`34 AM them: you don't have to know
1`51`38 AM them: you never have to know


2`01`24 AM them: i'd bring other cookies with them, but at the mere mention of the Peanut Butter Patties, you freaked
2`01`31 AM them: i'm not sure i can handle that
2`01`46 AM me: of course you can't
2`02`02 AM them: you might hurt me
2`02`12 AM them: go berserk
2`02`20 AM me: why the hell would i hurt you
2`02`27 AM them: psychotic rage?
2`02`34 AM me: i'm not mad at you
2`02`43 AM me: repulsed maybe, but not mad
2`02`58 AM them: not all psychotics kill the people they're mad at
2`03`08 AM them: just the ones that are there at the time of their psychotic break
2`03`19 AM them: and i don't know if cookies will push you over the edge or not
2`03`23 AM them: i cannot take that chanc
2`03`26 AM them: *chance
2`05`08 AM me: ah
2`05`10 AM them: ...do you really want them?
2`05`16 AM them: the Thin Mints, i mean
2`05`36 AM them: the person who has agreed to take them is not doing so out of love
2`05`39 AM them: but obligation to me
2`05`46 AM them: and they deserve better than that
2`06`02 AM me: i wouldn't take them out of love either
2`06`04 AM me: they're just cookies
2`06`10 AM me: i'd take them out of desire to eat them
2`06`13 AM them: yes, but you would want them
2`06`19 AM me: but i'm not getting them
2`06`23 AM me: so what's the point of this?
2`06`30 AM them: you could, though
2`06`36 AM them: just...say the word
2`06`41 AM them: and i'll bring them to you
2`06`52 AM them: as long as we don't have to talk about them
2`06`56 AM them: i'll bring them
2`07`30 AM me: sure
2`07`35 AM me: 'the word'
2`07`47 AM them: all right
2`07`50 AM them: it's settled
2`07`53 AM them: finally
2`08`10 AM me: didn't i accept them earlier?
2`08`23 AM them: but then you LIED and told me you didn't want them
2`08`39 AM me: i never said i didn't want them
2`08`39 AM them: and in between, a conversation that might just have to be saved
2`08`45 AM me: i lied and said i didn't like them
2`09`52 AM them: oh, quit arguing details
2`09`58 AM them: the point is that you lied to me
2`10`04 AM them: and got me all confused


2`17`54 AM them: i think i ate too many cookies
2`17`56 AM them: ugh
2`18`18 AM me: s'what you get for angrily eating peanut butter things
2`18`27 AM them: yes. it is