8/29/07

rüttenen

i truly, honestly believe
that i should not be allowed to interact with other humans
seriously
its like playing in traffic
no matter how well i try to not get hit
eventually, i'm gonna be roadkill

FUCK
my head
i hate migraines

a while ago i was invited to write something for the msu telecasters
i guess theyre looking for writers, i dunno
but anyway
after several failed attempts
it aint happenin
who didnt see that coming

i are so glad i only have one class tomorrow
itll give me time to do other things
like work
and do homework
and sleep
and stare blankly at walls
and do other mindless things
that require little/no thought
because my thoughts seem to be causing problems
and i dont need problems
so
no thoughts, no problems
right?
...
didnt think so

8/28/07

galleria

i've decided to establish a new award
somewhat along the lines of the darwin awards
i'm going to call it 'murphy's champion of the day'
murphy's law, anything that can go wrong will
you all know it

and with that, i inaugurate it with today's murphy's champion:
anonymous person at the gallery
this anonymous person at dinner at the gallery, bout 9`00 tonight
had some pizza and cookies [from what was left on the tray]
this person, like every other spartan, used his/her ID to get it
this person, unlike every other spartan, LEFT IT ON THE TRAY
whilst performing my cleaning duties
i happened to notice a card slide off the tray as i was hastily stacking it
i saw the magnetic bar along the back
and a [somewhat] smiling face on the front
just before it went down the drain to the garbage disposal
so, anonymous person at the gallery
you're fucked

speaking of the gallery
i'm gonna try to get this past kurt [my boss]
the next fucking person who asks me whats on the menu
while standing in front of a menu
is going to get a punch in the face
on a similar vein
any person[s] who decides to just randomly stop while walking
or stand in the middle of the floor looking around
while blocking someone who's trying to do their job
will get a punch to the back of the head

so
'africa'
good song
for some reason i like hymns
even though i'm not christian
or religious at all, for that matter
dunno
something about their formulaic construction appeals to me
that and
i just like william billings
go figure

8/27/07

casa de pepe

classes seem to be going alright
the two that i've had today
goddamn i woke up early
it was hotter than hell this morning

i actually met someone today
i caught me off guard
i think mike's antisocial surprise at being talked to is rubbing off on me
she seemed to be quite the interesting person
and
SHE'S FROM BYELARUS
how awesome is that?

quickly, because i have class in wells:
if a chicken and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half
how long does it take a one-legged monkey to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

8/24/07

clams!

you know
three people, on their first day,
should not run an food area by themselves
christ
i spent longer cleaning up that damn station
than i did working my actual shift

for all/any people
i'd recommend watching scott mercurio on comedy central sometime
he's damn funny

i dont know whats been going on lately
but my 'bulk' mail has been overflowing with junk mail
what the hell?
i used to get virtually none
now all of a sudden i can lengthen/harden my penis, sign up for online gaming, cybersex with hot chicks, get free online checkups from actual physicians, and get millions of dollars from bill gates
bastards

sweet cuddly baby jesus
there's a group in the college of social science
called 'historical association of michigan state'
HAMS
and they call themselves 'hamsters'
obviously, i signed up for it
and, better still
my associate dean is irish
beat that

8/23/07

hrólfr

WARNING AND DISCLAIMER:
rant and and opinions to follow
do not read if you have a weak constitution
or arguementative tendencies

i dunno about anyone else
but i am fucking tired of people talking about religious war
especially nowadays
people talking about muslims training their kids for jihad
such idiocy
its not like christianity isnt doing the same thing in a different way
i mean, come on
stereotyping all middle easterners
boycotting and protesting anything to do with the pan-arab world
all the way to evangelists calling for their annihilation?
sounds pretty on par with them, if you ask me
but hey, what do i know?
i'm just an ignorant american

what really gets me
is that people act like this is the first time its ever happened
how fucking dumb is that?
my parents told me stories about how people were surprised at things like the munich massacre
and ensuing insanity with them and idi amin
like they never thought 'huh, people fight because of religion? guess that makes sense'
christ
its been going on since the advent of time!
the holy roman empire wasn't always holy
the crusades didnt just happen out of nowhere
the ottomans weren't passively religious
as long as there is human life
there will be war
and as long as there is religion
there will by holy war
fact of life
get used to it
cuz it ain't about to end now

wall of voodoo

goddamn it
why the hell wont my dorm let me sleep past 9`30?
christ
first two days its maintenance people
today it was fuckin move in day
which started at 8
at tomorrow i have to get up to listen to some woman talk
whoo fuckin hoo

it seems that the dorm two of my friends live in SUCKS
its just crappy looking
and full of weird people
one can hope they survive

it also seems
that its incredibly easy to scare people
who keep their dorm doors open
all you have to is approach quietly
then scream something
and let the hilarity ensue
[sorry members of the apathy trifecta, couldn't resist]

8/21/07

haz/com

christ
training videos, i understand, i get their use
but son of a bitch, do they all have to be so damn campy?
we're all adults here, and its professional work environment things their covering
so why the hell cant they be normal[er than what we had to watch]
you know what else would be nice?
pertinence
i work in a dining hall
ladders/dangerous chemicals/asbestos really arent going to come into play

that maintenance guy better not wake me up again tomorrow
he could at least come at a decent hour
like noon, or midnight
not 9`30

its been drizzling like this for the past 4 days
and its gonna keep it up till friday
the worst part?
its gonna be up to 90 by wednesday
what the hell?
if its gonna be dreary new england weather
it could at least be accompanied by the commiserate cold
regardless of the fact that this isnt new england

8/19/07

first

so, fresh start
again
maybe it'll last this time

so, i'm officially a college student now, which means i now reside in a linoleum-floored closet
hozallah!
and my knees are sorer than hell from goin up those stairs and walking around campus
hozallah again!
i havent started unpacking yet
which is what tomorrow is for

i had a bitch of a time getting here today, christ
first, while we're loading my crap into my dad's car, he notices his tire is going flat, so he fills it up
five minutes later its going flat again....he had a slow leak at the valve, apparently
so we move all my stuff into my mom's car
we get on the highway, just get onto 69/75 exchange, and my dad [in my mom's car] starts slowing down
me and my mom [in my truck] get past bristol rd and we get a call from my dad
the car's clutch died and he had to coast down the exit ramp, where the car sat non-moving
so we had to tow the bitch home
i got a hold of nick's dad [a mechanic] when we got home, and he offered to fix my dad's tire
so we eventually got back on the road at 3`30
a full hour and 45 minutes after we left the first time
i hate vehicles

i believe sleep [or the lack thereof] is in order