12/22/12

bowling again

well, hi
certainly been a while since i've said, well, anything
[i think april was my last actual blog post]
so i think today i'll break that streak and actuall write something
and that something obviously isn't going to why i don't have a job yet,
it's gonna be football
it's goddamn bowl season, son,
let's get rolling with the picks.

a quick note, to those who remember from last year:
my bcs bowl boycott has come to an end ,
since they finally decided to institute something else
[whether the four-team playoff will be good is anyone's guess,
but it's sure as shit better than the system we have now]
which means i can watch and prognosticate them again
[hah, prognosticate, like i'm a fucking expert]

at any rate, here's my list in all its glory:
1] las vegas: boise state over washington
2] holiday: ucla over baylor
3] russell athletic: rutgers over virginia tech
4] meineke car care: minnesota over texas tech
5] pinstripe: west virginia over syracuse
6] fight hunger: navy over arizona state
7] alamo: oregon state over texas
8] buffalo wild wings: michigan state over texas christian
9] chick-fil-a: louisiana state over clemson
10] gator: northwestern over mississippi state
11] outback: michigan over south carolina
12] capital one: georgia over nebraska
13] rose: wisconsin over stanford
14] orange: florida state over northern illinois
15] fiesta: oregon over kansas state
16] cotton: texas a&m over oklahoma
17] ncg: notre dame over alabama

obviously i'm hoping for a lot of b1g/pac12 wins
as well as simply hoping instead of objectively picking a winner
so, let's get down to why

1] purely at simply, washington has been far too erratic this year for me to pick them
they lost to unranked arizona by 35 and unranked wazzu 3 in overtime
they beat ranked stanford and oregon state by 4 and 3 respectively
boise, at least, has been playing consistently
and their pair of losses [at msu and at sdsu] is much more understandable

2] ucla/baylor is a complete crapshoot
ucla won their division outright for the first time since '98,
and followed it promptly with back-to-back losses to a ranked stanford team
baylor barely beat louisiana-monroe by 3,
but also upset then-#1 k-state by 28 points
i just think ucla has a better chance of pulling this out

3] rutgers won their first big east championship this year [albeit shared with 3 other teams]
va tech's 3 conference wins came against teams that are combined 12–24
simple as that

4] this one is more wishful thinking, i suppose
texas tech's beaten two ranked teams this year, but also lost 3 straight to ranked teams
minnesota's got an intact coaching staff, but also only beat illinois and purdue this year
course, last time texas tech had a coaching team, they beat msu by 10, so who knows

5] i guess i just have faith in wvu's ability to run up the score yet again
they were uncompetive in just two of their games against better competition
whereas syracuse was co-big east champion at 7–5 [at least rutgers was 9–3]

6] this one's also mostly just wishful thinking,
mostly cuz i've always cheered for navy, and todd graham is an ass

7] oregon state has played better football all year long,
and i think they're less susceptible to a season-ending disappointment
this game is in texas, though, so it might go down to the wire

8] just have to have faith that msu will pull this out
msu and tcu have been equally terrible this year, so it's really anyone's game

9] this one is simple: lsu is just the better team that's played better all year

10] again, wishful thinking, but one of the more realistic ones i think
northwestern's had its best season since 2008, played competitively in all 3 losses
and came damn close to winning its division
mississippi state, on the other hand, only beat the four worst teams in the sec
and lost their other four conference games by at least 17 points

11] again wishful thinking, but i think michigan does have a shot
i don't really have much to say about this other than i hope michigan wins

12] i really, REALLY want to go with nebraska on this [mostly for the b1g's bowls' sake]
but there's just no way i can justify it
georgia came within five yards of playing for a national title,
nebraska lost the b1g championship to the 3rd place leaders team by halftime

13] picking the upset in this one purely off gut instinct
i think the badgers will have enough emotion riding on this to finally get over the hump
remember, they've lost the past two rose bowls by 2 and 3 points, respectively
so it's not like they rolled over to their competition either time
besides, with their a/d back as one-time coach, it'll be a hell of a show

14] the only no-brainer of my group of picks
i'm not gonna berate niu for being chosen, because i do think they played well this year
and they've earned their spot in a quality bcs game
i just think they're insanely overmatched [like uconn and oklahoma two years ago]

15] k-state and oregon did give me pause for a while, but i had to go with the ducks
even though both teams ultimately failed to go undefeated and play for the ncg,
i think oregon has more of a chip on their shoulder
[they also lost their game at home by 3, instead of on the road by 28]

16] i love this matchup simply because last year it was a regular season game
though i think tamu takes it because they've played better competition
the sec is deeper than the big12, after all

17] purely because i want the sec's ncg streak to end asap,
and who better than the traditional independent power of notre dame?
[even though i think notre dame needs to get off their high horse,
i'm willing to let them have this moment if they stop alabama in their tracks]




ADDENDUM:

it seems boise beat washington by 2 as i was compiling this ridiculous thing
i'm off to a good start at least
let's see how badly i do this year

11/16/12

跑步者

dear friend, they'll destroy you
but it ain't nothing, it ain't nothing to me
[disappeared in isolation, irretrievable salvation,
the only thing, the only thing you need]

veil of the departed is alive, is alive

honesty, on a string

disappeared in isolation, irretrievable salvation,
the only thing, the only thing you need
[different, they'll destroy you
but it ain't nothing, it ain't nothing to me]

10/21/12

şizofreni

there's no end to the love you can give
when you change your point of view to underfoot
very good, you may be flat but you're breathing

and there's no doubt he's at home in his room,
probably watching porn of you from the fall
it's last call, and you're the last one leaving

and you thought you could change the world by opening your legs
well it isn't very hard, try kicking them instead
and you thought you could change his mind
by changing your perfume to the kind his mother wore
oh god, delilah, why? i've never met a more impossible girl

in this same bar, where you slammed down your hand and said:
"amanda, i'm in love"
no you're not, you're just a sucker for the ones who use you
and it doesn't matter what i say or do,
the stupid bastard's gonna have his way with you

you're an unrescuable schizo, or else you're on the rag
and if you take him back, i'm gonna lose my nerve
i've never met a more impossible girl

at four o'clock he got off, and you called up
"i'm down at denny's on route one, and you won't guess what he's done"
is that a fact, delilah? larry tap let you in through the back
and use his calling card again for a quick hand of gin

you are impossible, delilah, the princess of denial
and after seven years in advertising, you are none the wiser

you're an unrescuable schizo, or else you're on the rag
and if you take him back, i'm gonna lose my nerve
he's gonna beat you like a pillow, you schizos never learn
and if you take him home, you'll get what you deserve
i never met a more impossible girl

so don't cry, delilah,
you're still alive, delilah
you need a ride, delilah?
let's see how fast this thing can go

7/16/12

barya

they used to tell me i was building a dream,
and so i followed the mob,
when there was earth to plow, or guns to bear,
i was always there right on the job.
they used to tell me i was building a dream,
with peace and glory ahead,
why should i be standing in line, just waiting for bread?

once i built a railroad, i made it run,
made it race against time
once i built a railroad, now it's done
brother, can you spare a dime?
once i built a tower, up to the sun,
brick, and rivet, and lime
once i built a tower, now it's done
brother, can you spare a dime?

once in khaki suits, gee we looked swell,
full of that yankee doodly dum,
half a million boots went slogging through hell,
and i was the kid with the drum
say, don't you remember, they called me al
it was al all the time.
why don't you remember, i'm your pal?
buddy, can you spare a dime?

6/10/12

naujas

ich verbrenn mein studio, schnupfe die asche wie koks
ich erschlag meinen goldfisch, vergrab ihn im hof
ich jag meine bude hoch, alles was ich hab lass ich los
mein altes leben, schmeckt wie 'n labbriger toast
brat mir ein prachtsteak, peter kocht jetzt feinstes fleisch
ich bin das update, peter fox 1.1
ich will abshaken, feiern, doch mein teich ist zu klein
mir wächst neue reihe beißer wie be dem weißen hai
gewachst, gedopet, poliert, nagelneue zähne
ich bin euphorisiert, und habe teure pläne
ich kaufe mir baumaschinen, bagger und walzen und kräne
stürze mich auf berlin, drück die sirene
ich baue schöne boxentürme, bässe massieren eure seele
ich bin die abrissbirne für die deutsche szene

hey, alles glänzt so schön neu
hey, wenns dir nicht gefällt mach neu
die welt mit staub bedeckt, doch ich will sehn wo's hingeht
steig auf den berg aus dreck, weil oben frischer wind weht
hey, alles glänzt so schön neu

ich hab meine alten sachen satt, und lass sie in 'nem sack verrotten
motte die klamotten ein, und dan geh ich nackt shoppen
ich bin komplett renoviert, bräute haben was zu glotzen
kerngesund, durchtrainiert, weltmeister im schach und boxen
nur noch konkret reden, gib mir ein ja oder nein
schluss mit larifari, ich lass all die alten faxen sein
sollt ich je wieder kiffer, hau ich mir 'ne axt ins bein
ich will nie mehr lügen, ich will jeden satz auch so meinen
mir platzt der kopf, alles muss ich verändern
ich such den knopf, treffe die mächtigen männer
zwing das land zum glück, kaufe banken und sender
alles spielt verrückt, zitternde schafe und lämmer
ich seh besser aus als bono, und bin' n mann des volkes
bereit die welt zu retten, auch wenn das vielleicht zu viel gewollt ist

hey, alles glänzt so schön neu
hey, wenns dir nicht gefällt mach neu
hier ist die luft verbraucht, das atmen fällt mir schwer
bye bye ich muss hier raus, die wände kommen näher
die welt mit staub bedeckt, doch ich will sehn wo's hingeht
steig auf den berg aus dreck, weil oben frischer wind weht
hey, alles glänzt so schön neu

5/10/12

fratino

oh sister, what's wrong with your mind?
you used to be so strong and stable
my sister, what made you fall from grace?
i'm sorry that i was not there to catch you

what have the demons done?
what have the demons done,
with the the luminous light that once shined from your eyes?
what makes you feel so alone?
is it the whispering ghosts that you feared the most?

oh sister, those lines etched in your hands
they're hardened and rough like a road map of sorrow
my sister, there is a sadness on your face
you're like a motherless child who's longing for comfort

what's running though your veins,
that's causing you such pain?
does it have something to do with the pills they gave to you?
what is eating at your soul?
was it the whispering ghosts that left you out in the cold?

but the blackness in your heart won't last forever
i know it's tearing you apart, but it's a storm you can weather

4/26/12

sweet gee-sus

or, the hilarious hijinks of the b1g's most dickish president

today's post is made possible by the man in the bow-tie
that most snobbish and rambunctious of school presidents,
the man that can make everyone say in unison 'SHUT THE FUCK UP',
e gordon gee, president of ohio state

yesterday, because he apparently had to get it off his chest,
gee sat down with osu's student newspaper, the lantern,
and offered his measured, carefully chosen words on a recent article
[namely, the sn article blasting the shit out of urban meyer]
and by that, i mean in turn blasted the new outlet that published the story:
after admitting that he hadn't even read the story all the way through,
he dismisses it as bad journalism laced with false information
[while offering no explanantion about what was false]
he also lambasted sports illustrated for an article about tressel from last year
 which he also said was nothing but false info passed as objective journalism
again with no explanation about what was incorrect about the story

i would love to say that this was simply isolated insanity,
but that would not give NEARLY enough credit to our ol' pal gordon,
who has quite the impressive track record of putting his foot up his ass
i now submit, for your viewing pleasure/insanity,
an brief list of his choicer comments

on the difficulties of centrally organizing osu's colleges: "when we had these 18 colleges all kind of floating around. they were like... boats, they were shooting each other. it was kind of like the polish army"

on bret bielema's complaints about meyer's recruiting tactics: "we hired the best coach and we went out and got the best kids so get a life."

on the scrutiny facing jim tressel before he was fired: "let me be very clear: i'm just hoping the coach doesn't fire me."

on whether tcu or boise state was worthy of playing in the ncg: "well, i don't know enough about the X's and O's of college football. i do know, having been both a southeastern conference president and a big ten president, that it's like murderer's row every week for these schools. we do not play the little sisters of the poor. we play very fine schools on any given day."

on the necessity of religious diversity in universities [especially vanderbilt]"yes, we’re targeting jewish students. there’s nothing wrong with that. that’s not affirmative action, that’s smart thinking."

on the 1992 michigan/osu game's 13–13 tie: 'if character is a mark of greatness, then this is our greatest victory."


oh, gordon

4/15/12

kispalád

blogablogaBLOGablogablog
it's been a while since i've said anything of note
[note being me not posting lyrics]
and now seems as good a time as any
why? because b1g spring football kicked off this weekend
[except at purdue, who cancelled due to potential death storms]
and since there aren't any enjoyable sports until august,
i need to fill the athletic void somehow

thankfully, i needn't look far,
because the the 2012 schedules b1g schedules have been released
which means now that i've had a chance to look through all of them,
it's time to scope out which matchups will be best WAY too early
for the sake of organization, we'll go week by weekare you ready for this shit?
ARE you READYfor THIS SHIT?!
goddamn right you are. let's get to it


week 1:
msu v. boise state
quick poll: can the b1g season start out any better than this game?
quick answer: no way, no how
here we have a matchup of two teams that ended 2011 in the top 10,
one is the perennial bcs at–large team that takes down an aq team every single year,
the other is the defending division champ with back-to-back 11 win seasons
both teams are starting new kids at key positions [qb/rb/wr/safety],
and both are looking to start the season with a quality win over a ranked opponent
and best of all, the game is nationally televised on a friday from spartan stadium
whether you love or hate msu, you will be watching this game
you know you will

michigan v. alabama
we can be sure that, of all the things michigan was planning on when they scheduled this,
they weren't planning on facing an alabama squad fresh of a national championship
beyond the fact that this is a special opening week game [the cowboys classic],
which means that a ton of people will be watching,
this is the perfect statement game for both of these teams:
it could be michigan's unequivocal announcement that they are 'back',
knocking off an sec powerhouse in the process,
or bama's opportunity to beat yet another b1g team,
and in so doing defend their championship in the biggest of ways
both conferences proclaim to be the best in college football,
so what better way to determine it than a head to head?

week 2:
illinois @ arizona state
some of you may think i put this game here to be a cynical bastard,
and you'd be right
illinois is fresh of being the first team to star 6–0 and finish 0–6,
as well as completely overhauling their coaching staff
the sun devils are fresh off completely imploding down the stretch,
and losing their division to the first ever 6–8 team, ucla
last year, the teams were rather evenly matched
[basically being the same team in two different conferences]
and the rematch in tempe will be a good gauge of how each is restarting
plus, since the b1g/pac12 non–con matchups don't start till 2017,
this is all we get to look forward to until the rose bowl

iowa v. iowa state
the cyhawk trophy is one of the better non–con b1g trophy games
[regardless of what the trophy itself will look like],
and no self–respecting football fan misses out on a good, intrastate football rivalry
especially since, after 3 straight losses where they failed to score more than 7 points,
iowa state beat the piss out iowa last year at home
so you can be sure iowa will be out for blood this year in iowa city

penn state @ virginia
this one seems like kind of a longshot, but i'd put money on it being a great game
penn state, as we all know, is in complete transition from the joepa era,
and everyone's gonna be all over bill o'brian to start off the season well
meanwhile, virginia put together one of the better seasons in the acc last year
and was playing [but lost] for the chance to face clemson in the title game
they may have ended the season with a thud [19 point loss to auburn],
but i'd bet they'll be at least as good this year as last
which means penn state will probly have its hands full when it goes to charlottesville

week 3:
msu v. notre dame
does this one even need an explanation?
msu/notre dame has been one of the best b1g rivalries in the past 10 years
and with both teams striving to be nationally elite,
this game has huge implications for the rest of both teams' seasons
so you better believe spartan stadium will be packed for this game

nebraska v. arkansas state
this game ought to be very interesting
arkansas state won its first conference championship last year,
their new head coach is the o/c from auburn [the same guy who coached cam newton],
and nebraska's non–con schedule is otherwise very soft
this game may be in lincoln, but i think it'll be a tough game for the huskers to pull off

week 4:
michigan @ notre dame 
again, is this really worthy of a full explanation?
notre dame's other rivalry against the state of michigan is usually a good game,
and michigan will be hard pressed to follow up their home performance last year
if they manage to beat both alabama and notre dame in september,
i imagine they'd find themselves ranked in the top 5

week 5:
iowa v. minnesota
this is another game that initially may not seem like a good one,
but considering how this game played out last year,
i expect as good of a show this time around
minnesota's beaten iowa twice in a row,
something that that hasn't happened in a dozen years
this game is suddenly falling under the 'inexplicable loss' category for iowa
which means it might be fun to watch the hawkeyes get flustered yet again

ohio state @ msu
i might as well just start listing every msu game now,
since it's only week 5 and i've already listed 3 of them
but there's no doubt in my mind that this game will be incredible
last year's was a defensive show case with 59 minutes of rather plodding play,
[with 1 minute of excitement near the end]
but this year will be better for two reasons:
msu hasn't lost at home since 2009
and this will be ohio state's first b1g game with urban meyer
if there's really any team that has the capability to beat msu in e/l, it's ohio state
BUT, with mr. egotistical at the helm of the buckeyes now,
replete with spread offense and unabashed indifference to rules,
ohio state should get a pretty good spanking to start off the b1g schedule,
not unlike nebraska's opener last year at wiscy

wisconsin v. nebraska
speaking of nebraska and wisconsin,
they both kick off their respective seasons against each other again this year
though this time they'll be playing in lincoln
wisconsin's got themselves a new acc qb in danny o'brian,
marking this their third starting qb in as many years,
while nebraska's chomping at the bit to be competitive in the b1g title race
plus, after last october's 31-point loss,
i can only imagine that the huskers wish to return the favor

week 6:
msu v. indiana
hah, just kidding, this game will be a total blowout

nebraska @ ohio state
considering that very few b1g fans actually like the buckeyes,
and that urban meyer is the coach now,
i bet this game will get tons of interest from non–husker fans,
specifically hoping they beat the piss out of ohio state at the shoe
and considering how competitive last year's game was,
i bet this one will be just as good

week 7:
iowa @ msu
week 7 and it's already the fourth msu game
but whatcha gon' do?
iowa and msu have been rather evenly matched of late
[in terms of talent and playing style, at least],
and this promises to be yet another smash–mouth game of b1g football
and who would want to miss that?

week 8:
penn state @ iowa
ah yes, iowa, bane of nittany lions' fans for two decades
how much of a bane, you may ask?
penn state has only won in iowa city only thrice since joining the b1g [out of 7 tries]
and only a grand total of ONCE since 1995
their games are usually good and close,
and this one should be especially enticing what with all the coaching changes:
penn state having an entirely new staff, iowa having a new o/c and d/c
plus, it's penn state, and you should ALWAYS watch penn state play

michigan v. msu
and there it is, the paul bunyan trophy
paul's been in e/l long enough to get an undergrad degree,
after having been at michigan long enough to get a master's
this game is a bit later in october than it has been in recent years
[the last three being held on october 15, 9, and 3, respectively]
but that should have no bearing on quality
while i wouldn't bet on either team being undefeated by the time this game is played
[each is likely going to play 3 ranked opponents before week 8],
i would bet on it being one of the best games of the season
why? michigan hasn't beaten msu at the big house since 2006
which is flat out embarrassing

nebraska @ northwestern
we all know that northwestern's made a habit of pulling a big upset every year
it seems to be pat fitzgerald's specialty
last year's was nebraska, which was confounding as it was funny
i want to see these two play again simply to see if the wildcats can do it again
welcome to the b1g, nebraska, northwestern is our iowa state

purdue v. ohio state
this one, you may remember, falls under the 'house of horrors' heading,
because the buckeyes have had some tremendous failures in west lafayette
and we all like seeing ohio state inexplicably lose, yes?
so even though most purdue games tend to fall on the 'meh' end of the scale,
this one will certainly be worth watching

week 9:
iowa @ northwestern
and speaking of inexplicable losses to inferior opponents
['inexplicable' repetition meter: 4 times],
iowa and northwestern really typifies this problem for b1g teams
i think will simply be a fun game to watch,
because spoilers are ALWAYS fun to watch [unless they're happening to you]
also, for the record, i'm calling this as northwestern's yearly spoiler game
hear me now, believe me late

nebraska v. michigan
this game is michigan's first real road game of the season
[purdue doesn't count because michigan isn't the buckeyes],
and it should be a doozy
michigan, msu, and nebraska are all variously expected to win the legends,
and this game will go a long way in establishing who does win it
last year, michigan's win over the huskers gave msu the division championship,
so there's little reason to think it won't matter again

wisconsin v. msu
this will be the first time since 2009 that msu travels to camp randall,
a place no b1g has won since iowa two weeks after the above mentioned game 
[wiscy holds the longest b1g home winning streak at 10,
followed by msu at 8 and michigan at 4]
given the intensity of the last five matchups between these teams,
culminating in last year's two insanely watchable games,
you can be damn sure this one will be just as good

ohio state @ penn state
this game is the leaders division's version of nebraska/michigan
even though wisconsin is going to be favored win leaders again,
osu and penn state are gonna be right there challenging for it,
so it naturally holds that this game will go a long way to determining who wins it
plus, with both teams getting completely new staffs this season,
it'll be a good barometer for how far they've come

week 10:
nebraska @ msu
another one? why not
this week's actually kinda starved for good matchups,
what with um/minnesota, iowa/indiana, osu/illinois, and psu/purdue being the others
so this one stands out because, again, it will mean a lot in the legends division race
plus, nebraska is the last remaining b1g opponent a dantonio team hasn't beaten,
so you can be sure they'll try to make it a reality

week 11:
penn state @ nebraska
another lone standout against a week of 'meh' games,
this one ought to be fantastic
in fact, i'm not even gonna bother selling you on it
if you aren't already compelled to watch either penn state or nebraska play football,
then i really want nothing to do with you

week 12:
michigan v. iowa
i put this game on the list for a very specific reason:
iowa is currently riding it's longest win streak over michigan EVER
michigan state's streak over michigan gets more press,
but this one is just as impressive
iowa's never won twice in a row in ann arbor,
brady hoke's team has yet to lose at home
something's gotta give, yeah?

ohio state @ wisconsin 
this game, not unlike msu/michigan, will probly determine the leaders division winner
ohio state usually comes into this game heavily favored,
but we all remember the last time the buckeyes went to camp randall, don't we?
the long and short of it is that this game is gonna be hard fought,
will likely go down to the wire, and is probly gonna be awesome
and who would want to miss a game like that?

week 13:
iowa v. nebraska
i was a huge fan of this game when it was announced as a series,
and i continue to be to this day
granted, last year's game was a rather underwhelming start,
but this has all the makings of a great rivalry
and, really, what better way is there to spend the day after thanksgiving?

michigan @ ohio state
last year, this game finally got a shot in the arm as far as watchability,
when michigan beat the buckeyes for the first time in 8 tries
who was on the last team that beat ohio state for michigan, you might [not] ask?
john navarre, braylon edwards, chris perry, david bass, and lloyd carr
yeah, it'd been a while
now the wolverines have to go to columbus to prove it wasn't a fluke
this is a game you should watch regardless,
but now you have even less of an excuse

penn state v. wisconsin
you really couldn't ask for a better b1g season wrap up
these teams have been phenomenal the past few years,
and last year this game decided who would represent the leaders in the ccg
[i know, wiscy won in a blowout, but that wasn't the point]
and i'm positive it will be the deciding factor again this year


tl;dr: watch ALL the games

4/1/12

podłoga

with hand on heart, you're right from the start,
you taught me to take my part
no cross to bear, no reason to care,
my life was all up in the air

four to the floor, i was sure, never seeing clear,
i could have it all whenever you are near

the iron hand did not understand
the plight of the common man


four to the floor, i was sure she would be my girl
we'd rent a little world, we'd have a little girl

3/30/12

sovetsk

today, blogasaurs, i finally completed my goal
THE MUSIC CULL HAS BEEN SUCCESSFUL
it means so much to me, it's in all caps
[it is a meaningless accomplishment]

so, for those of us keeping score [read: no one], here's the tally:
i started with 90.72 gigs, 15102 songs, >1038 hours worth of music,
i have now 70.22 gigs, 11618 songs, and ~787 hours
which, if you're counting, is a 22.6% decrease
so yeah, a fifth of my music is gone now
AND my entire library will fit on my ipod again

so yeah, that's what i've done for the past month,
what about you?


ADDENDUM:
the new blogger interface is TERRIBLE
they were going for minimalist, they achieved confusing
way to go fixing something that wasn't broke, blogger

3/17/12

èirinn

or, an update on culling and other things

first up, since none of you really care but i'm gonna post it anyway
after round 1 of the music pogrom [taking approximately one month],
i've trimmed my library down to 79.77 gigs, 13418 songs, and ~904 hours
which, for those of us keep score,
means i've knocked out 12 gigs, 1684 songs, and 104 hours
i gotta say, i feel good about this so far
it's going much smoother [and faster] than the great cull of 2008
in which i deleted a full fourth of my music over the course of fall semester
and now that the first round has come and gone,
it's time to pull out all the stops and move to round 2
dun dun dunnnnn

in my only other news,
i have loved this week of basketball SO. GODDAMN. HARD.
i wish that every weekend in march was like this one
i haven't enjoyed sports this much since the weekend of the msu/wiscy game [part 1]
half of the reason i like college bball is tourney upsets,
and boy has this weekend delivered
it's made my depressing reality of unemployment/brokeness much more bearable
and for that, i thank it
and as such, i'm looking forward to plenty more of it for the next three weeks
ladies and gents of the tourney, bring it on

well damn, i lied
one more thing:
in the spirit of the occasion [st paddy's], i leave you all with this:
alba gu bràth, you fake irish cocksuckers



ADDENDUM:
round 2 has been a rousing success
at the end of this five day lighting round,
i'm down to 75.78 gigs, 12724 songs,  ~856 hours
screw weight loss, athletic training, and other self-improvement activities
this is the way you improve your own life
at least, in my own twisted mind it is

3/9/12

ch'uju

hello, darkness, my old friend, i've come to talk with you again,
because a vision softly creeping left its seeds while i was sleeping
and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains,
within the sound of silence

in restless dreams i walked alone, narrow streets of cobblestone,
'neath the halo of a street lamp, i turned my collar to the cold and damp
when my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night
and touched the sound of silence

and in the naked light, i saw ten thousand people, maybe more
people talking without speaking, people hearing without listening
people writing songs that voices never shared,
and no one dared disturb the sound of silence

'fools', i said, 'you do not know, silence like a cancer grows
hear my words that i might teach you, take my arms that i might reach you'
but my words, like silent raindrops, fell and echoed
in the wells of silence

and the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made,
and the sign flashed its warning in the words that it was forming
and the sign said:
'the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls'
and whispered in the sounds of silence

3/5/12

romany

after a quick glance around the blogzorz,
i noticed that it's been about 2 months since my last real post
[i enjoy posting lyrics, but that's a cheap cop–out and doesn't count]
so, instead of posting yet another song for you to [not] listen to,
i'll just talk about music instead, specially my music collection
because I'M SO GODDAMN BORED I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO

[this post is brought to you by the above theme]

because i've had little to nothing to do these past three months,
i've had to resort to making my own entertainment
most of my waking time has been devoted to the following activities:
listening to music, surfing the internet, playing flash games, occasionally reading,
and filling out job applications [and drinking tea]
pros of that: it's a great change of pace from the past two/three semesters
cons: i'm not paid to do any of that, i have no car, and no money

so because i've been in my house alone for the past quarter–year,
i've been strapped for things to accomplish
[quick understanding of the way my mind works:
if i'm not getting something done, i feel inordinately guilty for wasting time
it doesn't have to be big or meaningful, it just has to be something]
and i've started doing trivial things to give myself something to do
i rearranged my house's first floor [kitchen/living room/sitting room]
i chopped a metric shit–tonne of wood and kindling,
and [weather permitting] done yard work when necessary
but as useful as those things are,
they're one–and–dones, so there's no follow up or continuous attention needed
so i'm back to square one once they're done
which is how i got on my current kick

once i was finally done with school work and no longer in need of all my files,
i cleaned out my classwork folder from the past 4 1/2 years,
and got all that shit organized, lest i need it again at some point in the future
i would've left it at that, but i came across a horrifying realization that same day:
my hard drive was almost full
my 350gb hard disk, a full 875% more space than my previous laptop had,
was down to its last 800 megabytes
i was completely flummoxed, so i did the one thing i could do:
i started swearing aloud at my computer,
and then i started swearing at myself

since that day, i've gone on a space–saving binge of unmatched proportion
i've delved into all my files and documents, photo albums, and movie folders,
trimming corners and downsizing file sizes where possible,
deleting things i no longer liked/wanted in an attempt to regain some breathing room
most of the space i regained came from my massive movie folder,
since each movie i had was ~700mb, and i deleted about a dozen of them
[except for one movie file, which is grotesquely large and unendingly cumbersome
i'm lookin' at you, history of the devil, all 30.65 gigs of you]
i got myself some spatial breathing room
now i'm down to the movies i like and the movies i want to watch,
as opposed to those plus movies i didn't like, hadn't watched, or didn't want to
but it was downsized nonetheless
but even in the face of all this bulemic bit shit going down like a sweet muffin,
[archaic inside joke, anyone?]
there was one behemoth left untouched, unscathed, and daring me to touch it:
my music library

blogasaurs, my crippling music addiction is both well–documented and unashamed,
but it's time i gave you some numbers to quantify my melodic slavery:
at the start of 2012, my music totaled 90.72 gigs, 15102 songs, and >1038 1/2 hours
it was the product of years of musical attrition starting in august of 2003,
subject to every musical whim i've had since then,
from wanton free itunes downloads, to ganking friends' burned cds,
to shameless mass downloading, to other's massive music collections,
to my own selfish musical hoarding
i'm like the old guy who never throws away newspapers,
like the lady who adopts every cat she finds,
like the people who keep making lolcats
i must have every good piece of music ever made
which is how i ended up with such a leviathan parasite on my hard drive

that was two weeks ago, and i have made serious strides in slaying the fell beast
i've been nothing short of ruthless in culling my music,
deleting everything from albums i was tepid about, to songs i no longer liked,
to shit i never even bothered listening to
it's been a long, ongoing [i'm actually doing it as i type this]
and man is it making all the difference
my itunes is less cluttered, my playlists aren't as bloated,
and there's far less music i don't like on my computer
at current count, i'm down to 84.42 gigs, 14243 songs, ~954 hours,
and the culling ain't over yet
i wouldn't be surprised to see another 6 gigs hit the recycle bin before i'm done
because nothing comes between me and my music, especially my music


i realize i sound like some sort of inspiration weight–loss jagoff about this,but i have to sap every bit of meaning i can from this
remember: i have nothing to do and no one to hang out with
if i can clean up/out my hard drive, it'll at least distract me from being in the mount
besides, i take pride in my musical taste and organization
[as anyone who has seen what i do to my next music can attest to],
and it's high time i get rid of the shit that doesn't deserve to have me listen to it

besides, if i don't clear out enough space,
how am i supposed to keep up with all the new cds that are coming out?
that shit's not gonna catalogue and listen to itself

3/2/12

ĝemo

serve god, love me, and mend
this is not the end
live unbruised, we are friends
and i'm sorry, i'm sorry

sigh no more, no more
one foot in sea and one on shore
my heart was never pure,
and you know me, you know me

but man is a giddy thing

love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
it will set you free
be more like the man you were made to be
there is a design, an alignment, a cry of my heart to see
the beauty of love is it was made to be

2/13/12

nalěćo

it's the first day of spring, and my life is starting over again
the trees grow, the river flows, and its water will wash away my sins
for i do believe that everyone has one chance to fuck up their lives
but like a cut-down tree i will rise again,
and i'll be bigger and stronger than ever before

there's a hope in every new seed and every flower that grows upon the earth
and though i love you and you know that, well i no longer know what that's worth
but i'll come back to you in a year or so, and i'll rebuild, be ready to become
oh, the person you believed in, oh, the person that you used to love

for i'm still here hoping that one day you may come back

2/8/12

eàrr

when the world ends, collect your things, you're coming with me
when the world ends, you tuckle up yourself with me
watch it as the stars disappear to nothing
the day the world is over, we'll be lying in bed

i'm gonna rock you like a baby when the cities fall
we will rise as the buildings crumble, float there and watch it all
amidst the burning we'll be churning, you know love will be our wings
the passion rises up from the ashes when the world ends

when the world ends you're gonna come with me, we're going to be crazy
like a river bends, we're going to float through the criss–cross of the mountains
watch them fade to nothing
when world ends, you know, that's what's happening now
i'm going to be there with you, somehow

i'm gonna tie you up like a baby in a carriage car
your legs won't work 'cuz you want me so, you just lie spread to the wall
the love you got is surely all the love that i would ever need
i'm going to take you by my side, and love you tall 'til the world ends

you here with me, just you and me, floating through the empty empty
but don't you worry about a thing 'cuz i got you here with me
oh graces, oh grace,
when the world ends we'll be burning one,
when the world ends we'll be sweet makin' love

we're gonna dive into the emptyness, we'll be swimming
i'm going to walk you through the pathless roads
i'm going to take you to the top of the mountain that's no longer there
i'm going to take you to bed and love you, i swear, like the end is here

i'm going to take you up to,
i'm going to take you down on you
i'm going to hold you like an angel, angel
i'm going to love you, i'm going to love you
when the world ends i'm going to hold you
when the world is over, we'll just be beginning

1/20/12

dominium eminens

today, at long last, is the day i talk about my thesis.
just under a year after i decided to undertake my final project,
it's completed, graded, and i've graduated.
and i've decided to give you lot the chance to hear about it one last time.

let me say this at the outset:
i'm putting my thesis on this blog post by including it as a downloadable link.
there would be no point in talking about it if i didn't let you read it for yourself.
even though i've included a copyright on every page to avoid it being stolen/plagiarized,
i'm placing no restrictions on who can link to it, distribute it, or post it elsewhere,
so long as i am properly credited, and this post is directly linked to [if applicable].
i do this not to be egotistical and demand credit at every turn,
but so comments, criticism, feedback, &c can go directly to me,
as well as providing proof that i gave permission to freely distribute it.
i have no problem with my thesis finding its way through the vast and magical interwubs,
i just want to make sure everyone knows who and where it came from.
as such,
i hereby grant written permission for my thesis,
"chicken littleisms: kelo v. city new london and the meaning of 'public use',
to be freely distributed on the internet, provided proper credit and links are given.


with that out of the way, let's get to it.
buckle up, it's gonna be a long post.


i suppose i owe you more than a few words on my thesis,
but, in the interest of both space and getting you to read it,
i'll give you the basic rundown of it.

in 1997, new london, ct, which had been suffering an economic downturn,
was informed of pfizer pharmaceutical's interest in building a new research hq.
they lobbied hard and got pfizer to announce plans to build it in fort trumbull,
one of new london's small waterfront neighborhoods.
trouble was, the area around the pfizer site was rather destitute.
in addition to pfizer remediating the site they'd ultimately use,
they asked the city to rejuvenate some of the surrounding land.
since said land contained rundown buildings, business, and a residential neighborhood,
the city needed a plan for how it would go about fixing up the neighborhood,
and it turned to its newly–restarted development corporation to create one.
the nldc drafted a thorough plan to rejuvenate the neighborhood
[the municipal development plan, or mdp],
and it was approved by the city council in february 2000.
the plan revolved around the use of eminent domain:
by using eminent domain to acquire all the land in the fort trumbull neighborhood,
they could then demolish all the businesses and residences.
this would allow them to build businesses and accommodations near the fort instead,
complementing pfizer and creating a smaller business district south of downtown.

the way new london was able to use eminent domain came down to interpretation.
eminent domain's power comes from the 5th amendment's takings clause
['...nor shall private propery be taken for public use, without just compensation],
and in connecticut, 'public use' has been consistently been interpreted broadly,
incorporating many different definitions of 'use' by the public.
thus, in ct, it is legal to use eminent domain for economic redevelopment,
since the economic benefits of doing so have been deemed of public use.
so, new london used eminent domain in that way to reinvigorate its economy,
and provide public use by way of jobs, increased tax revenue, and strengthened economy.
understandably, that mindset didn't sit well with the fort trumbull residents,
and they began protesting the mdp and the nldc's use of eminent domain.
their protests grew in scope and publicity,
and they eventually partnered with the institute for justice,
a washington d.c. law firm specializing in libertarian issues.
the fight revolved around whether nldc's use of eminent domain was valid,
and ij ultimately filed suit against the city on behalf of eleven residents.

the case [kelo v. city of new london] started in the ct superior court,
where the judge decided that eminent domain for economic redevelopment was valid,
but only in some parts of nldc's plan, and not others.
both sides appealed to the ct supreme court,
which ruled that the city's use of eminent domain was valid across the board.
ij again appealed the csc ruling to the us supreme court,
where the csc ruling was upheld, to much publicity and press coverage.
that ruling sparked a spree of litigation across the country to address eminent domain,
which has continued to this day.

what i argue is that much of the reaction to kelo is misguided and misinformed.
while i respect and acknowledge various interpretations of the takings clause,
many who protest kelo do not.
critics, pundits, and lawyers have skewed and misrepresented kelo consistently
and have allowed it to become a big–government bogeyman,
convincing people that the government can wantonly take your home for any reason,
or, scarier yet, for no reason at all.
i believe that there are far too many uninformed voices screeching about kelo,
and i wanted to provide a thoughtful, measured, factual account of the case and its origin.
the only way to understand the case is by understanding the city and the people,
the circumstances surrounding the mdp, the lawsuit,
and most importantly, the 5th amendment and the meaning of 'public use'.
not only did i want people to know how kelo came about and why,
i also wanted them to know what the kelo ruling does and doesn't mean.

hyperbole and parroted information can only get us so far.
at some point someone has to tell the truth in an honest and concise way,
and that's what i set out to do.
i know this case seems like an obscure topic to write about,
but it's come to mean a lot to me,
and hopefully will mean something to you to once you've finished reading it.
i'm sure there are at least some who are wondering how i chose this in the first place,
so, as follow up, the story of how i came to write this.


a little over a year ago,
the time had arrived for me to pick a topic for my senior honors thesis.
my thesis would be required to graduate from the honors college,
and i needed to pick a topic i could write at least 50 pages on.
considering that my longest paper to that point had been only 20 pages
[my interesting–yet–maddening paper on norway and denmark during wwII],
i needed something i knew i would like, be passionate about, and stick with.
i'd had a number of ideas float through my head,
from something russian history related, to something about the progressive era,
to something regarding the state of the labor movement
[i was fresh off my labor studies internship in new york at the time].
after meeting with my honors advisor and talking to her about it,
she recommended i meet with dr fine, a professor i'd never met.
dr fine was an american/labor/women's history prof,
and we briefly fleshed out possible topics i could write about.
i kept having nagging doubts about the themes we were hitting on,
and knew that if i wasn't vested in what i was writing about,
it would be half–assed and boring.
after a few meeting with her and dr moch,
a recurring topic kept popping into my head: my hometown.
i could write something about the history of where i'm from,
and it was then that i realized:
i should write about kelo.

kelo was something i'd known about all my life, but knew little about.
i knew my mom had worked at nldc, the corporation at the heart of the case,
and that my dad had worked, for a time, at the pfizer complex near fort trumbull.
i also knew that the case was near–infamous and usually misconstrued.
i did a little light research into the case,
and the only articles i could find on it were from legal journals and publications,
the same went for books: almost solely published by legal groups and law scholars
[with the exception of one or two questionable non–fiction books].
i knew that primary research was the focal point of the thesis requirement,
since their goal is to make academics out of us,
and decided that there was no better topic to write about:
there was no historical literature on kelo, very few popular writings,
and none of them seemed to put all the pieces of the case together.
i'd found the perfect topic.

once i'd decided on kelo and figured out what i was gonna write about,
i was faced with an unfortunate realization:
i knew jack shit about eminent domain.
before i could even conceive of writing anything about kelo,
i first had to figure out what in the hell the basics of eminent domain were.
so, for a full three weeks over the summer,
i spent my time in the law library with a 2 foot high stack of legal texts.
much to my surprise, i found the topic both interesting and easy to pick up on,
which made my transition from federal to connecticut law that much easier.
of all the things i'm grateful for concerning this thesis,
i'm most grateful that i was genuinely interested in the legal aspect of it.
if i'd found eminent domain law boring and dry and imcomprehensible,
there's a decent chance i would've changed topics about six months ago.

after i'd slogged through about 5000 pages worth of legal text
[i promise you that is not an overstatement
i read 3 books that were 1000+ pages, and four that were between 400–700 pages],
and as i started reading primary and secondary sources about kelo,
i was again faced with a rather stark reality:
virtually all of my sources were one–sided.
they almost all took up arms against the city and against the kelo ruling.
there was very little diversity in their opinions,
and there was a metric shit–tonne of rhetoric and biased sprinkled into their writings.
the books and articles all became one angry haze after another,
and took none of the context or circumstances of the case into consideration.
i was basically reading publication after publication lambast my hometown,
and i was staggered by it.
i had never known new london to be as egregious and uncaring as it was portrayed,
and i refused to believe that the city was flagrantly abusive and willfully acting illegally,
at least not without concrete and indisputable proof.
and so it was that i changed my focus and goal:
i wasn't simply going to explain the case as a legal decision,
i was going to tell the story of new london, fort trumbull,
and explain what happened leading up to the decision to use eminent domain.
it wasn't enough to explain what eminent domain was and how it was legal:
i had to show what new london was like, what it had gone through,
what the people of fort trumbull were like, what they had gone through,
and how the city planned to change its waterfront.
so much for struggling to figure out how to write 50 pages.

writing my thesis was by far one of the biggest challenges i've ever faced.
first off, how do you even tackle something that massive?
i knew it would take lots of organization and planning,
but that means nothing when you're staring at a blank word document,
completely at a loss on how to begin.
i had no idea how to do justice to everything that was involved with this project,
and constantly struggled with how to be fair to everyone involved.
i couldn't victimize or demonize the residents of fort trumbull,
any more than i could  demonize or apologize for the city.
objectivity is a tricky thing to utilize.
you have have to be detached, appraising, and not take anything for granted,
but you can't let yourself dehumanize people or circumstances.
you have to give all the facts, but not skew them for others,
and you have to present both sides of the argument, while taking only one side.
no matter what anyone else says,
that is the single most difficult thing to achieve in writing.
i won't lie to you and say i achieved optimal objectivity when writing this,
because, after all, i'm human like the rest of you,
but i strove for it nonetheless.
i know i haven't managed to eliminate bias from it
[and, truthfully, you could argue that i wouldn't be able to,
considering where my parents worked],
but i did my damnedest to be factual and honest about kelo.
i did my diligence in researching the hell out of my topic,
and did as much as i could for a student with limited resources.


for a while now i've been unsure what to do with my thesis.
should i try publishing it? should i try to make it into a book?
i didn't want the last eight months to ultimately result in nothing
[and by nothing i mean sitting in a library surrounded by other theses not being read],
so i decided that the best thing to do would be to publish it myself [so to speak].
it's a good paper that tells an important story and provides important information,
and it would be selfish and stupid to keep it to myself.
i hope that at least some of find this thesis informative and interesting,
and that it helps change at least a few preconceived notions.
or, at the very least, makes you think.


okay, rambling over. please read my thesis and pass it along. kthnxbai.

namnlösa

i was born in a big gray cloud screamin' out a love song
all the broken chords and unnamed cries, what a place to come from
i wish to remain nameless and live without shame
cuz what's in a name? oh, i still remain the same

you can call it what you want, you can call me anything you want

everybody lets you down in this brief hole of a town
what a difference of the rushing out, tell me what you're running from
i know everybody lets you down, i'll do the same
but know i'll always be around, this can remain the same

call me when you need me, call me anything you want
darling, believe me, nothing i haven't done before

1/16/12

ströddes

been climbing trees, i've skinned my knees
my hands are black, the sun is going down
she scruffs my hair in the kitchen steam
she's listening to the dream i weaved today

crosswords through the bathroom door,
while someone sings the theme tune to the news
and my sister buzzes through the room,
leaving perfume in the air
and that's what's triggered this

a high–back chair, he sits and stares,
a thousand yards and whistles marching band
kneeling by and speaking up,
he reaches out and i take a massive hand

disjointed tales that flit between
short trousers and a full dress uniform,
and he talks of people ten years gone
like i've known them all my life
,
like scattered black and whites

i come back here from time to time,
i shelter here somedays

1/14/12

tân yn llŷn

it's been a while since i've posted twice in twelve hours,
and i actually don't remember the last time i did so
though i'm sure a quick scroll through my archive would tell me,
i'm too lazy/apathetic to actually bother looking
mostly cuz it's all the way on another tab
WHO HAS THE ENERGY FOR THIS SHIT?

[a quick interlude, because this is too priceless not to share
as i'm talking with a friend of mine online, this little gem comes my way:
"i listened to judy and watched jackass at the same time.
most peculiar experience - it's the one where ryan dunn stick the car up his ass"
i really hope 'the man that got away' was playing during that particular stunt]

i had a really long phone conversation tonight with a friend of mine,
we were actually talking long enough for me to get slightly hoarse
[which is why i'm now enjoying a delicious cup of tea]
i have to say, i enjoyed it more than i thought i would
i'm normally not a fan of phone conversations being longer than they have to be,
but it was nice to just have a long, free–wandering conversation,
talking about our worries, motivations, our accomplishments, current state of affairs
i'm glad i'm not as insane as i keep fearing i am
there isn't a particular reason i'm sharing this,
nor i am building up for a tantalizing and shocking revelation,
it's just a thought that sounded better in my head than it looks in type
but there's no real point in deleting it,
so instead i'll just keep rambling until i get to something else

this may not be interesting, but it is on a different topic:
the delightfully folksy tale of how ian mcshane got me to reread 'wicked'
so this christmas i was gifted with a metric shit–tonne of dvds
[a friend of mine recently got a blu–ray player and is steadily replacing his collection]
one of the dvds i got was the miniseries 'the pillars of the earth'
[which, by the way, is fucking awesome and incredibly riveting]
i wasn't initially that interested in it,
but i gave it a shot because ian mcshane is in it, along with a few others
[i've loved ian mcshane ever since i first watched deadwood]
so i watched it, and ended up almost marathoning all 8 hours of it
and then resolved to read the book its based on
so i went up to the mount's pitifully–stocked library hoping to get lucky,
and of course its checked out [though the fact that they had it is a small miracle]
so while i was perusing the shelfs for something vaguely interesting to read,
i found out quite by surprise that gregory maguire wrote a fourth 'wicked' book
i didn't even know he was planning to write a fourth one,
let alone that it had been out for damn near two months
so, since my life has lately consisted of applying for jobs and watching espn,
i figured i'd reread the series in one go and finally get around to reading the third book
[which i've had since christmas 2008, the year it was published]
it's less exciting than you probly imagined,
but considering that i like in the boring, rednecky asshole of genesee county
[itself the boring, rednecky asshole of michigan,
which in turn the boring, rednecky asshole of america]
that's about as exciting an adventure as one can have here

[for the record, while the mount may be the boring, redneck asshole of the county,
flint is the hellish, post–apocalyptic eye of the shit hurricane
a nightmarish vortex from which there is no return]

as much as i really, REALLY, want to,
i'm not going to go off on a psychotic rant about the average gander's aversion to winter
because really, what's the point?
people i know keep having the same fucking reaction every year,
so instead of complaining about it, i'm going to offer a little bit of insight
hopefully it'll make their eternally–suffering lives better:
michigan has winter
winter comes every year at the same time
every winter is roughly the same: cold, windy, wet, snowy, and icy
occasionally there's lots of snow, sometimes there's not that much
but it's always cold, always wind, and always icy
winter has come every single year you've been alive,
and will continue until some sort of catastrophic climate event prevents it
thus, i recommend you stock up on whatever you need to,
in order to best prepare yourself for the calamity that is winter
if you're prone to being cold, buy warmer clothes and/or put on more layers
if you don't care for the wind, wear a scarf and a hooded coat
if the ice befuddles you, buy ice melter and sand
and if you don't like the snow, shut the fuck up and move somewhere else
those are the most practical ways to survive winter in michigan,
a winter that is both harsh and perennial
now that you are no longer caught off guard by its inevitable coming,
hopefully next year will be less complainy and more proactive
thus concludes my newest blog segment,
"SHUTTHEFUCKUPGODIEINAFIREYOUSTUPIDPRICK"

now that i've exorcised that particular dæmon,
let's wax philosophic for a moment:
what is it about winter that causes such anguish among the average gander?
seriously, i don't get it
winter comes every fucking year, like clockwork
it's always a bit harsh and is always treacherous
why is it a constant source of complaint and whining for people who live here?
are they living in some sort of victimized delusion,
where they are plagued with snow for their sins and transgressions?
do they think if they wish really hard that winter won't come this year?
or is it simply trendy and socially acceptable to bitch about it online,
and that is their only collective chance to fit in and go with the flow?
elucidation completely eludes me on this one
thoughts?

in other news,
i just realized i apparently don't take notice of anniversaries anymore,
and i think that's for the best
that probly makes no sense to any of you [hopefully, at least]
but take my word for it that it's for the better

on that oddly–cryptic–yet–heartening note,
i promise that i'm done putting off my thesis post
[which was incidental, not intentional
not that any of you are interested in eminent domain at all]
i'll probly get around to it in the next few days
and i promise that i'll blog more if one of you will hire me
and i'll blog about everything and anything you want
kthnxbai? kthnxbai


ADDENDUM
after going back over this,
i realized it reads like i'm either drunk, high, or both
i promise you that i was neither,
mostly i was just tired and insomnia–laden [as is often the case]

1/13/12

colloquy

i was looking for something to read the other day,
mostly because i miss reading for my own enjoyment,
and i came across a book of short stories by shirley jackson
many of you may know her for the story 'the lottery',
which is a wonderful and intriguing story in its own right,
but i love her for a different reason:
she is the author of hands–down my favorite short story ever
and because i am in a generous mood, i'm sharing it with you
"Colloquy", Shirley Jackson, ©1944, The New Yorker




The doctor was competent-looking and respectable. Mrs Arnold felt vaguely comforted by his appearance, and her agitation lessened a little. She knew that he noticed her hand shaking when she leaned forward for him to light her cigarette, and she smiled apologetically, but he looked back at her seriously.

“You seem to be upset,” he said gravely.

“I’m very upset,” Mrs Arnold said. She tried to talk slowly and intelligently. “That’s one reason I came to you instead of going to Doctor Murphy—our regular doctor, that is.”

The doctor frowned slightly. “My husband,” Mrs Arnold went on. “I don’t want him to know that I’m worried, and Doctor Murphy would probably feel it was necessary to tell him.” The doctor nodded, not committing himself, Mrs Arnold noted.

“What seems to be the trouble?”

Mrs Arnold took a deep breath. “Doctor,” she said, “how do people tell if they’re going crazy?”

The doctor looked up.

“Isn’t that silly,” Mrs Arnold said, “I hadn’t meant to say it like that. It’s hard enough to explain anyway, without making it so dramatic.”

“Insanity is more complicated than you think,” the doctor said.

“I know it’s complicated,” Mrs Arnold said. “That’s the only think I’m really sure of. Insanity is one of those things I mean.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“That’s my trouble, Doctor.” Mrs Arnold sat back and took her gloves out from under her pocketbook and put them carefully on top. Then she took them and put them underneath the pocketbook again.

“Suppose you just tell me all about it,” the doctor said.

Mrs Arnold sighed. “Everyone else seems to understand,” she said, “and I don’t. Look.” She leaned forward and gestured with one hand while she spoke. “I don’t understand the way people live. It all used to be so simple. When I was a little girl I used to live in a world where a lot of other people lived too and they all lived together and things went along like that with no fuss.” She looked at the doctor. He was frowning again, and Mrs Arnold went on, her voice rising slightly. “Look. Yesterday morning my husband stopped on his way to his office to buy a paper. He always buys the Times and he always buys it from the same dealer, and yesterday the dealer didn’t have a Times for my husband and last night when he came home for dinner he said the fish was burned and the dessert was too sweet and he sat around all evening talking to himself.”

“He could have tried to get it at another dealer,” the doctor said. “Very often dealers downtown have papers later than local dealers.”

“No,” Mrs Arnold said, slowly and distinctly, “I guess I’d better start over. When I was a little girl—” she said. Then she stopped. “Look,” she said, “did there use to be words like psychosomatic medicine? Or international cartels? Or bureaucratic centralization?”

“Well,” the doctor began.

“What do they mean?” Mrs Arnold insisted.

“In a period of international crisis,” the doctor said gently, “when you find, for instance, cultural patterns rapidly disintegrating…”

“International crisis,” Mrs Arnold said. “Patterns.” She began to cry quietly. “He said the man had no right not to save him a Times,” she said hysterically, fumbling in her pocket for a handkerchief, “and he started talking about social planning on the local level and surtax net income and geopolitical concepts and deflationary inflation.” Mrs Arnold’s voice rose to a wail. “He really said deflationary inflation.”

“Mrs Arnold,” the doctor said, coming around the desk, “we’re not going to help things any this way.”

“What is going to help?” Mrs Arnold said. “Is everyone really crazy but me?”

“Mrs Arnold,” the doctor said severely, “I want you to get a hold of yourself. In a disoriented world like ours today, alienation from reality frequently—”

“Disoriented,” Mrs Arnold said. She stood up. “Alienation,” she said. “Reality.” Before the doctor could stop her she walked to the door and opened it. “Reality,” she said, and went out.

1/11/12

meritxell

blogablogablogaOH LOOK I'M BACK
actually, that's a bit of a fallacy, since i never went away
i was merely attending to more important thing, such as
–my goddamn sanity
–my thesis [revisions and I SHOULD PUT IN A MAP OR FIFTY HARGHLBLARGH]
–re–moving into my house
–watching goddamn football
–doing productive things

and for those of you who have had to suffer through listening to me yammer about it,
yes, my thesis is done and turned in and graded and all that jazz
for those of you who give a shit, or those of you with my kind of crazy,
[namely those who find this shit interesting as well]
my next post will be all about it
so we'll just leave that particular topic be for now


what we will get back to is football,
because the college football season is officially over now
after that riveting national championship game [SARCASM],
my precious bowl season is over and i must again bid adieu to that truest of sports,
young men beating the piss out of each other, fully funded by institutes of higher learning
life is good, no?
since i continued my ever–foolish trend of making predictions,
let's look back over them shall we?

first off all, i'm proud to say i finished the bowl season with a winning record
8–5, a .615 percentage, which isn't too bad
especially considering my great showing last year and my dismal picks from two years ago
and since i didn't embarrass myself in the futuresight department,
let's take a gander at some of my finer and more idiotic predictions:
  • boise state 56, arizona state 24 [picked boise]. this one was out of reach in 14 seconds [very literally], and arizona state never even came close. it was [at that point] the highest scoring bowl game and the most lopsided, but that was to be expected. boise was a powerhouse, asu was a cripple, and sometimes things just go the way they're supposed to.
  • southern miss 24, nevada 17 [picked southern miss]. this game was just odd. not that there was anything particularly wrong with it, it was just felt weird. maybe because it was two teams that should have been better this season and inexplicably weren't, i dunno. at any rate, even though it didn't look it initially, i did pick the winner. so there's that.
  • nc state 31, louisville 24 [picked nc state]. this game nearly had me for the fool. i knew nc state was gonna bring it, because i watched them take down clemson in a brutally efficient way, but i had no idea louisville was gonna play as well or as spirited as they did. this was one of the more evenly matched bowl games this season, and definitely one of the more exciting to watch. if louisville hadn't been intercepted with 52 seconds to go, they very easily could've finished their comeback and tied the game. thankfully for my record's sake, they didn't, and i started out 3–0.
  • florida state 18, notre dame 14 [picked fsu]. i felt like a goddamn fool just after halftime of this bowl. notre dame was up 14–0 and the 'noles looked like group of bumbling invalids. thankfully, in true florida state fashion, they rattled off a pair of touchdowns in the first two minutes of the 4th quarter, gave themselves a 4 point lead with a field goal, and finally showed tommy rees that no one pulls that comeback shit on jimbo fisher. nobody. except mike london, tom o'brien, and butch davis. NOBODY.
  • baylor 67, washington 56 [picked baylor]. christ on a crutch in january, i've never seen a game so perfectly epitomize the term 'basketball on grass'.washington's qb threw for 438 yards, baylor had three different 100+ yard rushers, they set an alamo bowl record for the most points scored in a half [59], broke the all–time bowl record for points scored in regulation [123], shattered the record total combined offense [1397], and featured the 2011 heisman winner [baylor's qb]. i was utterly blown away watching it. just after halftime, it looked like washington very literally would run away with the game [they were up 42–24], but like i prophecied, washington's defense was a goddamn train wreck. this was by far my most entertaining bowl pick, though not my favorite.
  • oklahoma 31, iowa 14 [picked iowa]. after flying high at 5–0 to start the bowl season, my first loss was a resounding thud of a pick. i was expecting iowa to play like they did against michigan and northwestern, not like they did against nebraska and msu. christ. i understand that they were missing a key offensive component in marcus coker [who just today left the program], but they still had their qb and their stud of a wideout. apparently that just wasn't enough, though. at any rate, iowa sucked, oklahoma played like they weren't overrated, and a skycam tried to behead marvin mcnutt. overall, just a boring game. [SARCASM]
  • texas a&m 33, northwestern 22 [picked a&m]. this pick was purely and simply a guess. i'd seen some of a&m's implosions over the course of the season [namely against arkansas and ok state], i'd watched northwestern slice their own achilles against army, michigan, and msu [see what i did there?] it was really a crapshoot, but every good series of picks needs a meaningless, could–go–either–way game, yeah? so this was mine. for the record, i took a&m because it was in texas, and i figured they'd want to do mike sherman proud.
  • auburn 43, virginia 24 [picked virginia]. my second 'GODDAMN IT' moment of the bowl season came after auburn scored three straight touchdowns in the 2nd quarter. how am i supposed to keep lambasting teams for being overrated and under–talented when they keep winning impressively? cocksucking bastards. at any rate, auburn came to play with a couple really nice trick plays and real motivation, while virginia came to do some other kind of... fuck, i dunno. insert something scathing and witty in there for me, would ya? i have nothing left to give.
  • houston 30, penn state 14 [picked houston]. this was my 'padding the stats' pick. as dearly as i love penn state football, i was well aware of their lackluster offense throughout the season. their defense really lived up to their name, but mcgloin/bolden couldn't do shit with any kind of consistency, even after mcgloin won himself the starter spot. so, with him sidelined due to a lockerroom–fight concussion, and the blonde bomber from houston prepping himself for another flawless performance, this one was a foregone conclusion. houston was gonna win this as easy as you please because they were plainly better.
  • msu 33, georgia 30 [picked msu]. even today, a full week after it was played, it delights me to no end to say that my msu pick was right. they proved that they were worthy of accolades and notoriety after coming back from a 16–0 deficit to take the lead, tie the game, and finally win it in overtime. georgia gave them a run for their money [three overtimes' worth], but they pulled it out and gave the B1G its sole win on january 2nd. but enough with that, watch this blocked kick one more time, and tell me it doesn't bring a smile to your face bigger than dantonio's
  • south carolina 30, nebraska 13 [picked nebraska]. after my elation at watching my team finally win in the postseason, after sitting at a glorious 8–2, the wheels came off my prediction bus. i knew what to expect out of south carolina [the team that beat both georgia and clemson this year], but i also knew what nebraska was capable of, or so i thought. apparently they just couldn't pull off another solid victory [like the ones they put up against msu, iowa, and ohio state]. so instead of becoming the B1G's twelth man to add parity, power, and respect, big red ends up giving them an extra bowl loss. what fun.
  • arkansas 29, k state 16 [picked k state]. the 2 of the 1–2 punch was this game. the whole thing made no sense: k state didn't play at all like they did during the season, and arkansas played exactly like they did during the season. the wildcats stout defense was porous, their qb was mediocre at best at passing and completely mitigated out of the pocket, and the rest of their offense was simply unproductive. GAH FOOTBALL Y U NO MAKE SENSE SOMETIMES?!
  • smu 28, pitt 6 [picked pitt]. the grand finale of my predictions was as bad a choice as i could make. pitt gave exactly zero reasons to be picked to win a bowl this season [see their back–to–back home losses to iowa and notre dame], and after having their coach bail on them in a positively randy edsall–esque showing, they were probly unhappy to not be done with their season. so basically i picked them because they're pitt and i love pittsburgh and i root for those teams whether i should or not.

what a rollercoaster of picks this year turned out to be
5 straight correct picks, 5 split picks, 3 straight losing picks
though i'm certainly glad to have not sucked at predictions,
i can only imagine what my numbers would look like had i not boycotted the bcs
i was pulling for both michigan and ok state in their respective games
i would very likely have picked west virginia over clemson
[more because i wanted clemson to lose more than i wanted them to win
and boy did they ever]
so that's three more wins right there
i honestly don't know who i would've picked in the rose bowl,
but i would likely have leaned towards wisconsin,
[more out of the need for the big ten to win a goddamn bowl game than anything else]
and i wouldn't have bothered with the ncg, because that was the farce of all farces
i may have boycotted the games,
but i did keep up with the gamecasts and see the highlight reels
man that game was a piece of shit
so shitty, in fact, it was the worst–rated bcs championship ever
game, set, and match bcs


since my beloved college football,
it's time to give most of my attention to pro football
though it'll be getting less of my attention from here on out,
thanks to a team that shall remain nameless [FUCK YOU, STILLERS]
i retain my overwhelming addiction to the sport,
but it's a little less fun when your team isn't in the playoffs anymore
on the plus side, i kinda know how falcons fans feel now
all those one–and–dones must get really tiring

once that's done,
my full attention will yet again return to the beauty that is college basketball
i've enjoyed watching msu and uconn's play this year [men's and women's]
and i'm getting all hot and bothered for conference tourneys to begin
they're still a long way off, but there's nothing wrong with looking forward
especially since on the other side of them is the championship tourney,
and past THAT is the sports winter known as 'baseball season',
during which i whimper and moan about there being no sports to watch,
and generally am somewhat unpleasant because of it
good thing that's not till mid–april, yes?
in other words, BRING IT, SUPERBOWL/MARCH MADNESS
i survived yet another bowl season, and now i'm coming for you

1/10/12

pluèja

und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
ich denk im dunklen an dich, mein kind.
hoch sind die berge und tief ist das meer,
mein herz ist müd und sehnsuchtsschwer.
und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
warum bist du so fern, mein kind?

und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
gott selbst hat uns getrennt, mein kind.
du sollst nicht leid und elend sehn,
sollst nicht auf steinigen gassen gehn,
und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
hast du mich nicht vergessen, kind?