so guess what?
it's sunday night, and the final regular season bcs rankings are out
know what that means?
[seryusly, if you guys aren't sick of it yet, than you never will be
which means i may as well just make it happen more often]

first off, let me proffer some organization for my decidedly unorganized thoughts
i'm gonna bitch about the weird as fuck rankings,
then i'm gonna bitch about the bowl selections,
then i'm gonna bitch about the bcs
cool? cool. so let's get to it

right off the bat,
it becomes extremely obvious that the bcs absolutely hates non–aq teams
and thus relishes punishing them
case in point: the until–yesterday unbeaten houston cougars
they were ranked #6 last week when they played the #24 souther miss golden eagles,
and then houston proceeded to lose to them. badly. [by 21 points]
so where's the problem?
the bcs dropped them THIRTEEN places to #19 in this week's bcs
and southern miss? they got a bump ALL THE WAY up to #21
how fucking bullshit is that?
by comparison, georgia was #14 when they lost to lsu, and are now ranked #16
msu was #13 when they lost to wisconsin, and are now #17
va tech was #5 when the lost to clemson, and now they are #11
oh, and btdubs, oklahoma was #10 when they lost by 34 FUCKING POINTS to osu
and now, they're all the way down to #14
believe me when i say i could go on and on
i'm not arguing that houston doesn't deserve to drop spots for their loss,
nor do i believe they are less deserving because they play in a [relatively] weaker conference,
i'm arguing that the bcs is complete and utter horseshit when it comes to non–aq teams
how does southern miss only move up by three when they knocked off the #6 team?
how does houston drop 13 spots by losing to a ranked team?
i can GUARANTEE you, if lsu had lost to georgia by 3 tds yesterday,
that they'd still be in the top 5
so let's just take that wool off our eyes and admit it ourselves and the world:
if you aren't an sec team, the bcs won't like you and will underrate you
if you aren't an automatic–qualifying team, fuck you go die in a fire
and that is our supposedly unbiased, fair, computerized ranking system

oh, and by the way
there are four 9–win teams in the top 25 [the highest one, baylor, is #12]
and there are only two teams that have 12+ wins
one is the current #1, lsu, at 13–0; the other, houston, is #19 at 12–1
ready for the real kicker?
there are two [TWO!] 7–5 teams in the latest bcs top 25
texas [24] and auburn [25]
how does THAT not scream bias?
texas shot itself in the foot yesterday at home by 24 points to baylor,
and auburn got destroyed [28 points] by alabama two weeks ago
they were both ranked in the low 20s last week,
so how in fuck's name are they still included in the top 25?
texas has lost to every ranked team they've played this year
and auburn beat one [south carolina] in week 5
and just to put the cherry on top of this particular bullshit sundae,
arkansas moved up 2 places after NOT EVEN PLAYING this week,
[by virtue of the fact that their blowout to lsu had them slip only five spots to #8]
which means they got rewarded for other teams losing,
solely because they got preferential treatment in the first place

and now, to the bowl games,
because i can't believe this shit
first up, our nc game: lsu and alabama
i simply refuse to believe that alabama is better than oklahoma state
i flat out deny that line of thinking
yes, alabama's only loss was to lsu, whereas ok state's sole loss was to unraked iowa state
BUT, ok state has a MUCH more productive offense than alabama
and they've played arguably just as tough of a slate as the crimson tide
more importantly, they finished the season stronger than the tide did
you could even make the argument that stanford would make an equally strong #2
what it comes down to for me, though, is the hypocrisy of punishment
do you remember how many spots alabama dropped from their lsu loss? just 2 [to #4]
how many spots did oregon fall with their loss to lsu? 10 [#3 to #13]
how many did arkansas fall? 5
how about west virginia? 6
florida? over 8 [#17 to out of the bcs]
i don't care if alabama's loss to lsu was closer than anyone else's
in this case, a loss is a loss, and they aren't treated with any kind of congruity
which means the sport's media's darling sec west gets yet another national title
while ok state is left with the fiesta bowl [though that is a good consolation prize]

and while we're on the subject of bowls,
how the hell did boise state end up in such a shitty bowl game?
it's not like they're ranked #7 at 11–1 that started with a win over #19 georgia
i understand that they didn't win the mountain west this year [tcu did]
but the fact that they're stuck playing a 7–5 arizona state is ludicrous
especially since the sun devils have dropped four straight games to weak teams
boise should be playing a strong big ten or big 12 team
like nebraska, penn state, oklahoma, or baylor
they should return their bowl game for a full refund and get an upgrade
and speaking of bowl games with TERRIBLE teams,
how about this year's kraft fight hunger bowl,
which has the must–see matchup of 6–6 illinois and 6–7 ucla
two of the most embarrassing teams that bothered playing this year
seriously, illinois has lost six straight games and fired its head coach,
along with being the laughing stock of the entire big ten
[seriously, even indiana and minnesota are more respected right now]
and ucla? the team that had to get a special waiver to play a bowl with a losing record?
[for the record, how is that a thing? bowl games are for winner who deserve it
ucla, you are most definitely not a winner, and you do not deserve a bowl
i don't give a flying fuck if you "won" the pac12 south,
you've given up 99 points in the past two games, and only scored 31
no right–minded indvidual would ever reward you for that hideous performance]
i dunno about the rest of you,
but of all the boring bowl games i'll be actively ignoring this month,
that one will be at the top of the list

all that being said, there are some bowls to look forward to this month
and though there are some that i'll be more interested in watching than others,
here's my list of bowls worth watching:
–nevada v. souther miss [sheraton hawai'i, 12/24]
–louisvile v. nc state [belk, 12/27]
–florida state v. notre dame [champs sports, 12/29]
–washington v. baylor [valero alamo]
–iowa v. oklahoma [insight]
–northwestern v. texas a&m [meineke]
–virginia v. auburn [chick–fil–a]
–houston v. penn state [ticketcity]
–msu v. georgia [outback]
–nebraska v. south carolina [capital one]
–kansas state v. arkansas [cotton]
–smu v. pittsburgh [bbva compass]
it seems like a short list [at least to me],
but with a lack of bcs bowls, it's gonna be a little bit paltry
speaking of bcs bowls...

an open letter to the bcs:
dear bcs, my name is ben and i'm an avid college football fan.
i spend all year impatiently waiting for football to finally begin,
and look forward to bowl season like a 6 year old looks forward to christmas.
this year, though, christmas will seem a little less magical thanks to you.
you've grinched me out of quality national championship game,
just as you've given me 'unbiased' formulaic rankings for the past 8 weeks [and 13 years].
you've tried to tell me that my conference, the big ten, just isn't good enough,
and have consistently screwed us out of fair rankings for our most quality teams.
i'd say i feel alone in that, but unfortunately the big ten isn't the only one to feel this way:
i imagine the acc and pac12 have quite the bone to pick you, not to mention the big 12.
and even though you've put me through this for more years than i'd care to remember,
this year finally feels like you've taken it too far.
i've seen good teams go underrated and underranked this entire season,
and i've seen incredibly overrated teams be unfairly highly ranked for long stretches of time.
so, i say to you, for all to see, that i'm done with your bullshit.
i'm declaring an all–encompassing boycott on the bcs for the foreseeable future.
i will not watch the national championship, the fiesta, sugar, or orange bowls,
and as much as it pains me to do so, i will not be watching the rose bowl.
i refuse to go along with your charade any longer.
even if, in the coming years, my team manages to win it all and play in the rose bowl,
i will not be watching them, because of you,
and i encourage the fanbases of teams you've spurned to do the same.
the only thing that has proven influential over you is money, ratings, and attendance,
and i steadfastly refuse to provide you with any of them.
so go ahead, give the sec west their sixth straight national championship.
go ahead and give undeserving teams bcs bowls and deserving teams the cold shoulder.
go ahead and claim objective superiority with your computerized formulas.
you overshadow on–field accomplishments with off–the–field choices,
you've created way more controversy than support in the past 13 years,
you've been accused of virtually every impropriety known to american law,
and yet you still claim superiority over the rest of us.
i'm done giving you that satisfaction, and i'm done with you.
please, stop ruining college football for me and my fellow fans,
and let us get back to enjoying the games without your nonsense hovering over our heads.


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