pluèja

und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
ich denk im dunklen an dich, mein kind.
hoch sind die berge und tief ist das meer,
mein herz ist müd und sehnsuchtsschwer.
und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
warum bist du so fern, mein kind?

und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
gott selbst hat uns getrennt, mein kind.
du sollst nicht leid und elend sehn,
sollst nicht auf steinigen gassen gehn,
und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
hast du mich nicht vergessen, kind?

addendum

as much as i stand behind what i previously said,
i feel like i owe you guys some clarification,
if for no other reason than because i should

my irritation with the bcs doesn't extend to most teams playing bcs bowls
many of them have proven worthy of being there,
[with a few notable exceptions]
and i have nothing but respect for their achievements
so even though i won't be watching them play this year,
i wish nothing but success for those teams
ok state, stanford, clemson, west virginia, oregon, and wisconsin
you guys proved you were worthy of competing with the best
so go out there, play your asses off,
and don't take my bcs anger to heart

the one exception i have is this year's sugar bowl
and wouldn't ya know it, my problem ISN'T that michigan is playing
[though i will get to them in a minute]
first off, let me point out this particular fact:
this is the first year the acc has gotten an at–large bcs bid
[miami wasn't in the acc the year they won the national championship,
and neither was virginia tech when they played in one]
and who gets chosen for this particularly vaunted spot?
virginia tech
the same virginia tech that lost the acc championship by FOUR TOUCHDOWNS
the same virginia tech whose only losses were to clemson, by a combined 62–13
so, as everyone made the case that msu shouldn't be given a bcs birth,
namely due to the fact that they lost the b1g championship,
[which, by the way, was far more competitive than the acc championship]
va tech does get an at–large birth for the exact same reason
if you were going to give at at–large berth to a conference championship loser,
why not msu? or georgia?
why would you give that at–large spot to a conference with no real parity?

COMPARISON TIEMZ!
–the acc had only two teams to reach the 10–win plateau
pac12, b1g had 3, the sec had 5; none of those ccg loses got at–large bids
–va tech ended up ranked higher ranked than the team that beat it [by 4 spots]
the other three conference losers all ended up ranked lower than the team that beat them
–boise state's biggest non–conference win was [in practice] at georgia
va tech's was hosting arkansas state
[boise also happens to be ranked four spots above va tech]
–south carolina actually managed to beat clemson this year [and is ranked above va tech]
believe me, i could go on

so, with the wholly unworthy va tech filling the bcs at–large void
[which it truly only got because the sec filled its two spots in the ncg
which, if you'll recall, is BULLSHIT NONSENSE]
who do they get to play them?
that would be the b1g at–large team, naturally
and this, that happens to be michigan
now, i'm not going to bitch and moan about how michigan got picked before msu
[mostly because i don't believe ccg losers should play in bcs games]
but i will say this:
having michigan play in the bcs again is good for the big ten
as you also may recall, i said that michigan playing well makes msu look better
and in this case, michigan playing well makes the big ten look better too
when a conference's biggest team plays like shit, it reflects poorly on all of them
case in point: the big 12 last year when texas went 5–7
so as much as i wish that msu was playing in the sugar bowl this year,
i'm glad that michigan is [kind of] back to playing like they used to
cuz if nothing else, after last year's bowl season,
the big ten's gonna need every win it can get

by the way, what i WILL bitch about is this
as much as i'll enjoy if michigan wins the sugar bowl
i will absolutely loathe the michigan fanbase for it
many a michigan fan is already insufferable to me,
and if they get a quality bowl win this year,
they'll be back to bragging and boasting like the last three years didn't happen
and while it's completely understandable that they'd want to put it behind them,
they do it in a way that collectively makes them the most insufferable pricks i know
it will also make the offseason a long, drawn–out pain in the ass
mostly because they'll go back to talkin' smack about next year's paul bunyan game
so i'm at an impasse:
i root for michigan [again, finally], and then i have to deal with the fans
what's a spartan to do?


as a pertinent aside:
what in fuck's name is up with the way michigan fans interact with msu fans?
we are, apparently, michigan's "third-most-important rival"
[behind ohio state and notre dame]
never mind the fact that msu has been playing michigan longer than notre dame
and michigan fans treat the msu game with such disdain that it leads me to ask:
what's up witht that?
when you guys were losing to ohio state, you acted like the games never happened,
and went back to your rah–rah–we're–michiganness the next day
but when you lost to michigan state,
you bitched about the fanbase and wrote off the wins as fluke
[and still went back to your rah–rah–we're–michiganness the next day]
i dunno if it's because disliking msu is somehow wired into your brains,
but let me break it down for you to the point where you can get it:
msu is the perennial and historic second–best team
and when the second–best team beats the best team,
it warrants some bragging
when the second–best team slowly becomes equal to the best team,
it's a big fucking deal
i'm sorry if you can't wrap your minds around that,
but that's basically what it comes down to
of course msu fans are gonna be high on themselves when they beat michigan
we've gotten shit for SO LONG about who we root for,
that we're gonna savor every last moment of those wins

i'll tell you what's gonna be really sad
the next time you beat msu,
i can GUARANTEE the big house is gonna act exactly like they did after 'the game'
people are gonna go nuts and celebrate like it's the second coming
and truthfully, it will be deserved
but believe me when i say i will be watching that celebration,
and will truly enjoy reminding you guys just how hypocritical you are

oh, and by the way,
notre dame is OUR main rival
and we have a better rivalry with them than you do
msu has played them far more than michigan has,
[and they happen to have beaten them more times than michigan has]
additionally, although msu has played michigan more times than notre dame
the msu–notre dame games tend to be better than the msu–michigan games
not just recently, but historically
so trust me, this 'you're not our biggest rival' bullshit goes both way
besides, nothing pisses off michigan fans like being ignored or overlooked
and what kind of msu fan would i be if i didn't use that to its fullest extent?

entrecôte

i did something last night that i thought i never would:
i actually made myself a twitter
this may strike some of you as a surprise
[given my vocal opponence to posting statuses online
see: my moratorium on facebook statuses]
but i may yet find it convenient and useful
that or it'll rot away like so many unused websites of yesteryear
[i'm lookin' at you, myspace and aol]
so let's collectively begin the grand experiment that is me on the twitterverse,
and begin with the obligatory webspeak:
HGARGLHBLARGHFOLLOWMEONTWITTERBLARGHKTHNXBAI

now that i got that out of the way,
here's the actual link:
[in case, for some reason, you're averse to clicking the one at right]
twitter.com/djemsojedi
you'll notice that the name is the same as both this blog AND my facebook
[or, as mr michael calls it, teh fezbuk]
yes, i am that unoriginal,
but it also makes it easier to find my collective online presence,
which really only facilitates a ridiculous, unachievable pipe dream i have,
namely that someday i'll be like stephen fry
a boy can dream, right?

we begin today with a romp around the interwubs,
cuz it's little more than my virtual playground
so let's take a romp through the psychotic sandbox, shall we?

first up: FUHBAL, because i fucking can
after enduring a hilariously awful plummet into the depths of football hell,
the arizona wildcats fired their coach, mike stoops, partway through the season
despite my unrestrainable apathy towards them and their football team
i suddenly find myself vaguely interested in their future,
because as a replacement, they hired rich rodriguez
which is possibly the only act that could make the entire michigan fanbase gag at once
what surprises me, though, is not that they got him
it's that they got him considering what his strength[s] are
richrod is by and large an offensive guy
say what you will about his michigan squads [and believe me, i could say a lot],
he honed that offense into quite the machine
that surprises me because from what i've seen, arizona's offense was fine
they've got a good quarterback in nick foles, their receiving corps is explosive,
but their defense was what was getting them into trouble
so why you'd get an offensive–minded coach is beyond me
though maybe his choice in defensive coordinator will be better this go–around
at any rate, i'll be interested to see how his tenure goes
he'll be on a shorter leash, given his issues at michigan
but his time at west virginia, as we've collectively forgotten, was very succesful
maybe arizona will provide him the clemency he needs

in other news,
politically minded folk are up in arms at maine and wisconsin republicans
[...not that this is out of the norm, mind you]
but this time, it's for a reason i'm kinda in favor of
many of you are aware that we have both federal– and state–level child labor laws
what you may not know is that we have them for a goddamn reason
children shouldn't be made to do dangerous work when they are still developing,
they should be compelled to work instead of going to school,
and they shouldn't spend as much time at work as they do at school
gilded and progressive era activists and politicians were able to recognize that,
and passed legislation to limit its scope
in the currently–popular trend of reducing the federal gov't to a drooling husk,
certain states politicians are trying to scale back the scope of child labor laws,
in maine, for example, some are trying to make the following changes in maine:
—eliminating maximum # of working hours for 16+ y/0 students during school days
—establishes a 'training wage' $2/hr lower than minimum wage for the first 180 days for everyone under 20
—removes certain exemptions from disallowed labor for minors


speaking of trying to reduce child labor laws,
wisconsin is trying to do something similar
the downside of federal child labor laws is that they're kind of antiquated
they haven't been kept as up–to–date as the state laws over the past few decades
as such, they're not particularly stringent or comprehensive
because of that reality,
states have passed their own child labor laws that are more restrictive and specific
[which, by the way, IS HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING WORK]
apparently, though, the state of wisconsin's ruling party no longer cares for them
the wisconsin grocers association proposed scaling back their child labor laws,
essentially taking away all specifics to make it identical to the federal law
and it was added to the state's budget proposal

i'm not sure about the rest of you,
but i'm not a fan of this particular trend
if we as a society have decided that, with childhood, education is more important than work,
[which, by the way, we have, what with our public school system and all]
then we have to stick by it
you can throw out arguments about how teens aren't children,
or that teens will need the work experience and/or the money,
or that they need to be 'graced' into the world of work,
but it basically comes down to this:
as a child/teen, your singular legal priority is to attend and graduate from school
and your parents are legally obligated to care for you until you do
if you want to start working when you're 16, fine
but it needs to not consume your life to the point of being detrimental to school
when you reduce the restrictions on the kind of work you can do as a minor,
you're basically incentivizing working over getting an education
not to mention you're glutting the labor market with cheap labor
[which really does wonders for unemployment, let me tell you]
and to mention the fact that if you work for pay when under 18,
you're being taxed without representation by being under the voting age
ultimately, there are too many potential negatives with scaling back these laws
and if nothing else, we need to remember this:
if we did it once, we'll do it again
if kids once worked in canneries and factories, they will again
and it will benefit no one

in other news,
i'm FINALLY all caught up on the big bang theory
the last episode i remembered watching was the season 4 pilot,
and while everyone else i knew kept up on it,
i let it fall by the wayside like the slacker i am
but, with fluke free time thanks to a crippling bought of writer's block,
i decided to catch up, and spent 8 hours on sunday watching season 4,
and a decent amount of yesterday watching season 5
i now know what in fuck's name is going on in geekland once more
and i am the better for it
hozallah and praise be

to bring this post full circle,
it's time to return to football, because i fucking can
sweet and holy jesus was the bcs beat up this weekend
christ on a bike
4 top ten teams lost [one of them by an embarrassing margin],
a number of teams won when they weren't supposed to,
and somehow texas and auburn are still listed in the top 25
[to which i say: ...are you fucking kidding me?
both have four losses and in the bottom half of their respective conferences
unbiased rankings my hairy ass]
and as a result of all that nonsense,
the sec west has the top 3 bcs spots [lsu, alabama, and arkansas]
again... are you fucking kidding me?
if that happened to any other conference or division,
the football world would collectively cry foul and boycott the bcs
i don't even have words for how much this irritates the bejeezus out of me
because this means that the sec is basically shoed in to the national championship
both spots, not just one
i would bet tons of money that if arkansas beats lsu on saturday,
all that happens is that they switch spots, maybe bump alabama down
and we'd still have an all–sec national championship
i dunno about you, but i'm tired of this shit

i say it here and now, for all to see
if the sec gets both spots in the national championship,
i'm boycotting the bcs [with the exception of the rose bowl if msu or psu play]
and i'd ask you to as well
there's no reason for them to keep taking advantage of us
i want quality teams from all over that are deserving to play in the championship,
not just whoever wins the goddamn sec championship
i might make a concession to lsu, because they did have a tough schedule this year,
but i refuse to believe alabama or arkansas are on par
stanford, ok state, and oregon have played just as well, if not better
[okay, maybe oregon's a stretch at this point]
even so, if we're gonna have a one loss team in the national title game,
[cuz god forbid undefeated houston play in it]
i would much rather see stanford/lsu, lsu/ok state, or even stanford/ok state
c'mon people, there are tons of great teams out there
give me a title game i'll actually want to watch,
not whatever sec team tickles your balls this week

slightly related to this topic:
the big ten
msu's holding steady in the mid–teens, which is fine with me
the only good game they've played since nebraska was iowa
[though this weekend at northwestern is a guaranteed good time]
michigan, wisconsin, penn state, and nebraska round out the top 25's B1G contingent
and ya know what, i don't give a shit about all that's gone down this month
i stand by my earlier prediction for the championship in indy
msu and penn state all the way, and msu to the rose bowl
and it will be so sweet
[also, make sure you watch big ten football this week:
michigan/ohio state, iowa/nebraska, msu/northwestern, penn state/wisconsin
tell me THAT isn't a slate worth spending a weekend on the couch for
sec, you can take arkansas/lsu and shove it
i'll take the heroes game, penn state, msu/northwestern, or the game any day

byzantine

i realize that on halloween i promised a rundown of ceremonials
[the new florence + the machine cd]
as much as i'd love to do so,
ultimately whatever words i use wouldn't do it justice
so instead, let me say this:
give this song a good listen,
and then make up your own mind about whether to get it
if your mind is like mine,
then you'll have the download queued up before the song ends

in addition to the florence post,
i've had a few other ideas floating around in my head
i've been tempted to do another music post,
offer a take on some current events
maybe even do a post on my life at the moment
[on reflection, i realized i haven't done one of those in a while]
but i think i'm gonna revert to what i harangue about best: football

also, as much as i'm temped to do so,
i won't be doing a post about the ever–worsening situation at penn state
partially because i don't feel like i have anything to add
the indictment was barely handed down before the media exploded with the story
cut to a week [A FUCKING WEEK] later,
and the amount of damage has grown exponentially
too many people are talking about it to make anything new have an effect,
and i doubt what i have to say would go over too well
so let's you and me make a deal:
you wait until some sort of case proceeding actually begins,
and i'll do my best to give you an honest appraisal of the whole thing
agreed?


so, what is there to talk about in the realm of msu sports?
just a little bit about breaking streaks,
something about win records,
and oh yeah, a game on a FUCKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER
i dunno about you, but i'm a fan of all the attention
always nice when our teams get some well–deserved notoriety

as i noted first,
the game at iowa was a streak breaker for msu football
they hadn't won there since 1989, a time when i couldn't even say the word 'football'
[which, in retrospect, is a depressing thought]
iowa had been their own particular 'house of horrors' within the big ten
[note to self: post on that?]
having lost seven straight games there,
some by embarrassingly large margins [see last year]
but now, like their losing streak at ohio state, it has come to an end
now all they've got to do is keep winning there
...if only it was that easy

also, for the second consecutive year,
msu's senior class leaves as the winningest class in football
last year it they achieved 33 wins, this year with 34
[with the possibility of four more]
i don't know about the rest of you, but i think that's pretty fucking impressive
beyond the impressive task of getting a class to that plateau
dantonio did it twice, in back–to–back years
if ever there was something to prove how much he changed the team's dynamic,
it would be this
regardless of what some will say about msu,
you can't deny that he's turned a perennial underachiever into a winner
they aren't elite, and they aren't national championship contenders
but they are upper echelon, and they are conference contenders
and that's good enough for me, for now

as a non–football aside,
if any of you didn't get to see the carrier classic game on veterans day,
man did you miss a good one
i'm really glad it lived up to its billing
yeah, they did lose, but that's how it goes when you play the #1 team
even so, they really played the shit out of that game
all in camo–patterned uniforms
even non–college basketball fans i know thought it was awesome
i'm just glad we got to be a part of it
that being said, i also hope they don't make this a thing
let it be an awesome one–time deal
just like the basketbowl, and just like the cold war
don't try to cheapen it by making it a yearly event [like everything fucking else]
just let it live on in its own right

another thing has happened lately that has been kind of surprising:
i've started rooting for michigan again
[not against msu, of course, i know where my loyalties lie]
it's not that i wasn't expecting to ever again,
it's that i wasn't expecting to do so so soon
and there's a perfectly legitimate reason to do so:
michigan playing well reflects better on msu
period

when it comes to sports, teams thrive on rivalries
it's impossible to find a sport that doesn't have them
everything from rugby to cricket [which i'm convinced isn't actually a thing] and beyond
it's what makes some teams get through the season
everything in texas is a warmup to the oklahoma game
in pittsburgh, the focus is always on west virginia,
and nothing boils the blood in washington quite like playing oregon
but beyond the inherent competitive and endorphine rush,
the competition makes the teams better all–around
consider the following:
michigan is the winningest football program in division I [both wins and win %]
ohio state is #6 in total wins and #3 in overall win %
the fact that both teams are so good is what makes the rivalry intense and watchable
would the same be true if both teams were god awful?
forget the fact that they've played each other over 100 times
would we care at all if these teams were perennial bottom feeders?
no, we wouldn't, and rightly so
the same holds true with the paul bunyan trophy

the problem for msu is relatively straightforward:
historically, they just weren't as good as michigan
[let the flaming commence]
they had an incredible period of dominance in the 1950s and '60s,
and saw a pretty decent resurgence in the late '80s and late '90s,
but the in between periods tend to languish in mediocrity,
while over the same periods michigan was consistently good
while msu did win during their down periods [like 1978 and 1990],
michigan had much more recurring success
then came the divergent year of 2007

in 2007, both teams hired new coaches
msu fired a terrible coach before the end of the season,
michigan replaced an incredibly successful coach ready to retire
and man they could not have had more difference in their impacts
mark dantonio has enjoyed success not seen since george perles in the '90s
and rich rodriguez had the most stunningly disastrous career of any michigan coach
that utter lack of success was exactly the void msu needed to further its success
if michigan hadn't floundered, i don't think msu would be as successful as it is
it offered msu better opportunities for recruiting, for serious competition,
and most of all for signature wins
[whether michigan is down and out or not,
winning in ann arbor is always a signature win]

the problem with those wins is that many see them as conditional
eloquently summed up as:
"harglblargh you guyz aren't that great pssht you suck
michigan gon' kick yer ass when they get better just you wait littel brother!!!1!1!1!!!!111
blarghlharghCOCKS"
[note: i may or may not have exagerrated that statement slightly]
and despite who usually spouts that particular wisdom,
[namely people i don't like and/or i think are stupid]
there is some truth to it
msu absolutely took advantage of michigan being the indiana kind of terrible
[seriously, michigan, the cleveland browns were better than you
it took until 2010 for you to win more games in a season than them]
but that's also to msu's credit
it would've been very much in character for msu to continue missing opportunities,
but they stepped up and actually positioned themselves to be the best team in the state
and they've done so for the past three years to great success,
culminating in last year's big ten championship
and now it's time for them to take the next step
and for them to do that, michigan needs to step up as well

with brady hoke at the helm,
michigan is finally in a position to be good again someda
[they aren't there yet, what with it being his first year and all]
and i hope that day comes sooner rather than later
i've been yearning for real, equal competition in this rivalry for a while
and i can't wait until both teams start coming into the game ranked every year
both have the past two years [overrated michigan squads aside],
and it absolutely needs to continue
that's the only real way msu erases all doubts about its legitimacy
[cuz sadly, beating notre dame is no longer good enough to do that]
and yes, playing a good michigan will invariably include us losing
but i would gladly lose to a good michigan squad if they play competitively
[and, of course, we win plenty of other games to offset the loss]
i want this interstate rivalry to smack of the iron bowl and the civil war,
not the bedlam series or notre dame–navy

so, michigan, this is your official call–to–arms
get your shit together [which you've been doing decently at thusfar],
put more quality games in your win column,
and bring it the fuck on
give us heartbreaking losses and empowering wins,
and remember that you're michigan, not the richrod academy of football shame
and give msu a team to be proud of beating [or losing to]
for all of our sakes

collation

after spending the better part of a month and a half doing regular posts,
not putting anything up for a week feels really odd,
though i suppose it was inevitable
i just wasn't meant for long–term regular posting,
as evidenced by my relatively low numbers from the past four years
at any rate, here i be, ready to placate what audience i have

i had a couple different ideas about what to write for today,
but after a number of different things struck my irritation,
[including but not limited to: my inability to fucking type]
i decided that today is 'open letter day'
so please, read my ramblings
but if any of you are people this is applicable to,
i'm going to biotic kick you in the teeth

with that in mind,
let's start this off the right way:
dear bioware and creators of mass effect:
stop making such addicting games
i'm already facing the prospect of not being able to play mass effect 3
if i find out that it puts the previous to games to shame,
garrus–envy–rage boner is going to rage fuck you TO. DEATH.
so please, keep doin' what chu doin'
but for the sake of my sanity, don't keep talking about it,
kthnxbai

dear people everywhere:
if we're in a narrow stairway and you people are walking two–abreast,
it means i can't fucking get around you
thus, when i glare at you for being in my way,
don't get pissy, just move out and let me by
it's pretty simple, especially with that 'keep to the right' mantra
in fact, you should be doing it all the time
if for some reason that strikes you as bizarre and alien,
i refer you to the following training video: sidewalking, by michael jordan
[the cool one, not the basketball player]
the beginning is especially succinct at getting my point across
kthnxbai fuck you

dear american citizens,
today is election day,
that means it's time to enact one of those constitutional liberties
as much as i believe in doing some measurable amount of civic duty,
just remember this little tidbit:
if you vote for something/someone, and it turns out to be shit
that burden is on YOU
and you don't get to bitch about it, because you facilitated its existence
so please, make good decisions today in the voting booth
cuz god knows no one else is gonna
kthnxbai

speaking of voting,
dear citizens of ohio:
please make sure you repeal sb5 by voting 'no' on issue 2
under most prevailing circumstances i would keep my politics to myself
but come on
i don't really care what your opinion of unions and organized labor is,
any time you restrict workers ability to voice themselves is a serious transgression
if you aren't allowed to strike and aren't allowed to bargain collectively in good faith,
you lose the ability to speak out if your employer is transgressing you
again, regardless of your opinions on labor, that's what those are meant to do
allow you to speak out against things you believe to unfair at work
and doing this to public employees is a SERIOUS limitation of rights
if the government is your employer, and you aren't allowed to protest its treatment of you,
it gives off a vibe that's dangerously close to limiting freedom of speech
and if that wasn't enough,
certain public employees are being pinged to contribute more to their health benefits,
namely public employees that are currrently unionized:
police/fire/emergency, health care workers, teachers, municipal employees, &c
again, regardless of your opinion on organized labor,
i think we can all agree that those are people who often fall are subject to:
understaffing/overworking, being underpaid, and having sometimes hazardous work conditions
i don't know about the rest of you,
but if ANYONE on this earth shouldn't have to pay for health care benefits [at all],
it would be people like that
if you save people from fires, take down criminals, administer health care,
teach/deal with kids, and keep our government running day–to–day,
your employer [said government] should at the very least pay for your healthcare
so, long rant short, you many want to repeal this law
[unless of course all that strikes you as hunky–dory,
in which case don't, but again, i don't want to hear about it if you don't like it]
kthnxbai

[also, for disclosure purposes,
i linked to that site because the bill only comes in pdf form
you can download it from the ohio legislature's website if you so desire]

now that i got that off my chest,
let's get back to it, shall we?

dear professors who lecture quietly:
if i can't hear you, i can't learn
simple as that
and if i can't hear you, and i ask for you to speak louder,
i don't appreciate snide responses and looks
it's your goddamn job to be audible so i can figure out what the hell you're talking about
especially if it's something i know nothing about
so please, do me a goddamn favor and project,
don't make me give you a lesson in diaphragmatic control
kthnxbai

[ADDENDUM:
dear professors who make interesting things boring:
i will slay you if you do it again
kthnxbai]

dear sports media:
i hate to interrupt whatever sec deep–throating you're doing at the moment,
but i gotta tell ya, the lsu–alabama game hardly lived up to the hype
yes, it was an incredible defensive display
but it was offensively woeful
seriously, neither team got more than 300 total offensive yards?
they combined for 8/24 3rd down conversions?
they both threw two interceptions?
alabama was 2/6 on field goal attempts [are you fucking kidding me]?
lsu's two quarterbacks were 9/17 for 91 yards?
call me a snob but that sounds like a mediocre–encroaching–on–bad game
so much for a titanic duel of the nation's two best teams
i dunno about the rest of you, but this game fails to live up to the 1 v. 2 standard
i'd rather see the 2006 michigan–ohio state game again
the 1996 florida–florida state game
the 1971 nebraska–oklahoma game
the 1945 army–navy game
or the 1966 michigan state–notre dame game
basically, ANY OTHER 1/2 MATCHUP EVER
so shut the hell up about it already
kthnxbai

back to a serious note,
dear penn state alumni/fans [myself included]:
i understand that this has been the week from hell for you,
and i am in no way diminishing the severity of what's been alleged,
but you've got to take a breath and step back
there's no way to say to say this diplomatically, so here goes:
don't take your anger out on the wrong people, namely joe paterno
yes he has given you plenty of reasons to hold him to a higher standard,
namely decades of the most successful student–athletes in the ncaa,
but you also have to consider his relationship with the accused
this was a man he's known for almost 40 years,
someone he trusted with the care and training of his football team
and someone who apparently has some rather disturbing sexual predilictions
which are now suddenly being paraded for public outrage
do more than put yourself in his position for a minute
what if this scenario happened to you?
what if someone you trusted dearly and were decades–long friends with did this?
despite all your revulsion and shock and anger and sadness,
could you throw them out on their ass like our penal system requires?
i don't blame him for not wanting to make that decision himself
i don't know that i could do that were i in his situation
i'm not absolving him of his culpability, because he is culpable
but that is not for me or you to decide
if it's ultimately found that paterno was involved in the coverup,
and/or that he was responsible for shielding the guy to some extent,
then paterno will step down, whether he wants to or not
because it will be required of him
but you've got to let the process play itself out
because that's what it's there for
it will be hard, and you will probly endure lots of disgust and shame before it's done
but you cannot indict him before/in lieu of the courts
so please, for your own sake as well as my own,
be penn state proud, and let this process proceed to its inevitable conclusion
we will all be the better for it
kthnxbai

horst

[today's post is brought to you by: awkwardrealizations.com™]
i found out walking to class that my mustache is longer than i thought
parts of it can actually touch my chin without being pulled
now that i no longer have to grow my beard out to be opie
it's time to kick off no–shave november right:
with a goddamn trim

for the record, i don't participate in no–shave november
partially because i haven't shaved since 2006
so fuck all of you and your worthless 'months'
if you were real men you'd just grow a beard and be done with it,
and not do it under some idiot pretense
especially since your equating yourselves with people who shouldn't grow facial hair
namely guys who have splotchy stubble, guys with porn staches,
and this bag of douche
so just remember ladies and gentlemen
those worthy of beard shall be endowed with its grace
and those who are not shall be resigned to shaving forevermore
and NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET, MOTHERFUCKERS
so for fuck's sake, enough with no–shave november

moving right along,
if i ever, EVER find out who designed earbuds to be like this
i'm going to retroactively stab them in the eardrum
how in the name of auditory happyness is it supposed to stay in my ear?
seriously, seriously, what's the trick?
i got a pair of earbuds with that design about a month ago
apparently ignorant of my upcoming strife
and have been battling with them every since
i've tried all three different silicone attachments,
but they all just fall out of my ear after about five second of half–assed attempts
i refuse to accept their halfassery,
but i know not how to rectify this situation
does anyone have some sort of epiphanic solution?
or is this the fate i've been consigned to?
because i fucking REFUSE to be bested by a piece of plastic shit
you won this round skullcandy, but you shan't win the war

[here's a question for those of you who've read my writing for a long time:
is my writing style really confusing?
after reading that last paragraph, i'm inclined to think it is
i'll use increasingly abstruse words like epiphanic and shan't (and abstruse)
with increasingly awkward syntactical structure
and then just start swearing for a while before i move on
believe me when i say it's an accurate representation of the way i normally speak,
but i feel like it loses its subtle beauty when i put it in type
any comments from the blogasaurs would be welcome
(apparently that's a thing now)]

in other news,
espn has spent the ENTIRE. FUCKING. DAY. covering lsu's football team
the entire. fucking. day.
as in, 24 hours of highlighting a singular football team
and boy have they been thorough:
they've dedicated time to lsu's dual–qb system [one they lambasted],
their ability to overcome their myriad off–the–field issues,
[and, btudbs, their myriad off–the–field issues]
an appraisal of the entire lsu tigers program
and even les miles's ridiculous habit of chewing on grass
beyond the obvious unfairness to alabama preceding their matchup,
is this really fucking warranted?
i understand that every sports media personality gives lip service sec teams,
[and by that i mean they suck sec cock so deep it wears their appendices as hats]
but this is going WAY overboard
this isn't even the end of their goddamn season
it's only week fucking 9 for them
apparently they've already decided that lsu's our national champ
at least they saved us the stress of having to watch them play
how thoughtful of them
hey espn, can you do something for me?
exhale that long stripy tiger cock from your esophagus,
and report on actual sports news, would ya please?
i know this is your normal m/o,
but i appreciate it when you at least give it a slight veil of legitimacy
sincerely,
EVERY NON–LSU FAN EVER

speaking of espn,
this was a story they had on their front page around noon
i enjoyed the story less than i enjoyed the top comment:
"bad comparison. the mafia has more consistency in carrying out its discipline."
sad, harsh, and very true

as a parting wish,
i want all of you to go get a copy of the new florence + the machine cd RIGHT NOW
it's fantastic and something you won't regret in the slightest
in fact, it's so very much something you won't regret,
i'm gonna spend my entire next post telling you why you won't
so there
...
well? go fucking do it
I SEE YOU SITTING THERE NOT DOING IT

ch'iyara

whatsoever i've feared has come to live
and whatsoever i've fought off became my life
just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
sunspots have faded and  now i'm doing time
now i'm doing time

whomsoever i've cured, i've sickened now
and whomsoever i've cradled, i've put you down
i'm a searchlight soul, they say but i can't see it in the night
i'm only faking when i get it right
when i get it right

and what you wanted to see good has made you blind
and what you wanted to be youds has made it mine
so don't you lock up something that you wanted to see fly
hands are for shaking, no not tying
no, not tying

cuz i fell on black days
how would i know that this could be my fate?

i sure don't mind a change

realignment rigmarole

again, before we get into that which we can never get out of
[in a word, my ramblings]
college football has had its first firing of the 2011 season
mike stoops, head coach of the arizona wildcats got canned last night
best part? it's only six weeks into the season
and we've got another eight to go
i'll probly come back to this tomorrow,
but i figured it was worth mentioning
let the coaching carousel commence a–turnin'


today's post brings us back to the teeth–clenching subject of realignment
because, as much as we say we truly and honestly don't give a fuck
we all do, deep down
mostly cuz we wanna see who gets screwed next
[safe to say, it ain't gonna be the big ten]
at the moment, only two conferences are expanding because they have to:
the big twelve and the big east
both are hemorrhaging teams like an anemic with a flesh wound
and they are scrambling to find replacements
whereas conferences like the sec and acc are expanding because why the fuck not?
so let's a trip down realignment boulevard and see what's what

the big twelve, as i've so eloquently stated before, is a shit show
in two years time, they've lost two big name teams [nebraska and texas a&m]
one middle–of–the–pack team [colorado]
and is very likely going to lose another solid team in missouri
in an all–too–clever analogy,
if a company you'd invested in substantially, over two years time,
managed to lose 1/3 of its market share and its standing among elite businesses
you'd pull out of that faster than a girl with teeth in her vag
[...i honestly can't believe i just connected football to vagina dentata]
at any rate, that's exactly what has happened to the big twelve
and yet, they keep chuggin' along, trying to delay the inevitable
and what better way to do that than by plugging the holes with new teams
[...goddamn it, there's another vag joke
i'm amazingly perverse for this early in the morning]

now, the last major school to change conferences was tcu last november
[despite my liking them, hawai'i hardly counts as a football powerhouse]
and where did tcu go? the big east
purely because they wanted to be in a bcs automatic–qualifying conference
geography be damned, they wanted a shot at the fiesta bowl
but now, damn near a year later, a more attractive offer comes along:
the big twelve wants someone to fill the void that a&m left
so they court tcu as well
and wouldn't you know it, tcu said "goddamn it, took you long enough"
mind you, the big twelve considered tcu when it was formed in '96
and they pretty much laughed them out of the room
oh, how times have changed

so, that puts the big twelve back at ten schools for the moment
[since talks with other schools, like smu, are basically non–existent]
but that will most likely be temporary,
seeing as how mizzou has officially started to explore to conference options
some might see this as exploration to gauge their true worth to their conference
[kinda like what tom izzo did last summer]
but, considering that mizzou abstained from voting on adding tcu,
i think they're pretty well set on getting the fuck out of the big twelve
god knows i would be at this point
the big twelve is by far most unstable conference at the moment
and that's saying something, because they're not being actively raided
unlike...

that's right, we're back to the big east
that perennially screwed conference in terms of membership
as i mentioned earlier, tcu was set to join the big east in july
easily their biggest addition since west virginia in '95
but, as of today, there is no more tcu in their future
so where does that leave them?
they're currently down to 6 football schools, out of 16 total
and they're so desperate in trying to stay competitive
they've decided to add six more football schools
[which, assuming those aren't current members,
would bring the total to an unwieldy 22 schools]

to their credit, the big east is currently trying to get non–football schools into football
villanova, for example, has apparently been asked to consider moving to the fbs
[they currently play colonial athletic association of the fcs]
likewise, notre dame has [yet again] been approached for their football team
and most rightly assume that notre dame will yet again snub that possibility
[at this point, i feel like they're just doing it because they can]
but both of these seem like insane longshots that won't help them in the short term
so what are they to do?
pull from other conferences, naturally

also to their credit, they haven't gone raiding [at least not yet]
all the schools have been talked to openly,
and they've got some interesting choices on the docket
they're most overtly pushing for the service academy
currently, army and navy are independents, while air force is in the mountain west
army and navy would be good choices, i feel,
not because they're powerhouses, but because they're good schools
that and they're already in the geographic purview of the east
i can't imagine that they'd get one without the other, though
and they're not getting air force, because it's in fucking colorado
so we'll see how that plays out, but i'm not writing it off

they've also reportedly tried courting temple
a team they unceremoniously kicked out back in 2004
which, honestly, i think is funny
there's nothing more embarassing than endearing yourself to someone you kicked to the curb
other teams include east carolina and central florida,
both of which are pretty good at football,
and probly hoping for the opportunity to play at a higher level
[especially east carolina,
who's been very vocal in their desire to join for years]
either or both of these teams would probly raise the conference's competitiveness
but wouldn't necessarily raise their profile nationally,
which is the whole point of this exercise

the sadder prospects include memphis, smu, and houston
memphis is about as pathetic at football as you can get
[though their basketball team is decent]
smu and houston are way out in texas
and beyond their geographic isolation,
they're more likely to go to the big twelve to keep it afloat
so really, there's no point to expound on any of these

no matter which way you slice it,
the big east's future in football is pretty screwed
it might just have to stick to it's basketball priority,
and let its bcs aspirations wither and die
it provides only one team to the bcs per year as an at–large,
[and it's last bcs win was in 2007 in the fiesta bowl
in fact, it's won only 6 bcs games, as opposed to the sec's 15 and big ten's 10
though it's better than the acc, which only has 2]
it invariably has the lowest number of ranked teams of the 6 aq conferences
none of its current members have even played for national championships
[not ever, just since '91 when big east football began]
and really, no current team is good enough to change their fortunes
i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin'

the conference that seems to be winning the expansion battle
if you care to term it that way
is the sec [yeah, that's right, fuck you acc]
they haven't pursued anyone in this particular debacle,
and yet have had two big name programs from the big twelve basically beg to join them
my disdain for them aside,
they've pretty much solidified their spot at the top of the bcs with these moves
god help us if they actually add mizzou


in other realignment news,
EVERYONE IS OUT OF THEIR FUCKING MINDS
i understand the occasional need to change
but this shit is just ridiculous
for fuck's sake, please get this over with quickly
i'm tired of these headlines, tired of the bad blood, and tired of the speculation
let's let grudges get settled on the field, hmm?


UP NEXT:
theismann for heisman

acc-essing my inner rage

it may have taken a week,
but damn it, i finally got around to it
and now, without further ado,
angry football rant, part two



i'm actually gonna hold off on the acc for a minute,
and talk about what's really bothering me about college football right now:
the mufuckin' super conference

those of us have bothered following conference realignment have heard of this
it's the idea that any of the big 6 conferences
[big east, big ten, big twelve, acc, sec, pac–12]
could create a 14 or 16 team conference of football schools
which would then TOTALLY DOMINATE everything ever
and they would make LOTS OF MONEY
and make the powerhouses EVEN MORE POWERFUL HARGLBRLARGH
people were especially paying attention to the sec and pac–12,
[because the big twelve is completely up for grabs, it seems]
and expecting them to make the first moves

and, it just happens to be a REALLY. BAD. IDEA.

there are two major issues with this particular line of crazy:
raiding and win/loss records
FIRST
there are only four fbs teams that are currently independent in football
army, navy, byu, and notre dame
every other school is in a conference already
so, in order to create a super conference,
you have to straight up jack a school from it's current conference
which is basically akin to stealing orphans from an orphanage
in order to make your own SUPER orphanage of prize and prime children
which, while it raises your profile, also makes you look like a cock
[yeah, i'm looking at you, pac–12 and acc]

SECOND
if you have a ton of powerhouse programs in your conference,
that means they'll be playing each other constantly
which means that one of them will lose
and conceivably lose more than they normally would
which completely diminishes their threat
normally conferences have two or three real powerhouse teams
[alabama/florida/lsu, virginia tech/florida state/clemson,
texas/oklahoma/nebraska, michigan/ohio state/penn state, &c]
that way, the powerhouse teams don't have TOO much competition
they'll get tests every season [usually from each other]
but this system allows those teams to win consistently
[which gives them the opportunity to make it to bowl games]
AND it makes it easier for middle–of the pack teams
[which have a better chance of breaking into the upper echelon]

if you have a 16 member conference,
and six of those teams are powerhouses,
half of your conference schedule is going to be really challenging
and not in the good way that builds up the team
could you imagine playing alabama, texas, florida, oklahoma, and lsu?
or any absurd combination of top tier teams
all in back to back weeks?
there's almost no chance you make it through that unscathed
and it reduces the amount of teams that can go unbeaten to one
[what with conference championships]
and since there are only 2 bcs berths per conference,
only two of those 'elite' teams are gonna make it that high
what the fuck good is that?
it actively reduces the chance of really good teams making it to the bcs
[which, by the way, is a bullshit system]
and completely negates getting those teams in the first place
cuz if they can't win, they can't be elite,
and they'll become mediocre like eeeeeeeeeveryone else

oh, and by the way,
the same principle applies to basketball
too many good teams increases the likelihood of more losses
something that should be especially disconcerting to...


DA ACC
[for unknown reasons, i like writing it like that]
now, the acc is the latest conference to bear the brunt of my wrath
mostly beecause they're fucking stupid
i'll try to ennumerate why, but it might require some sedatives

as though we didn't get enough realignment problems LAST summer,
THIS summer has been just as exciting
[granted, there's conference realignment every year
but it's usually limited to small schools from small conferences moving up
like, when schools move from division II to fcs conferences,
or when fcs teams move into non–aq fbs conferences]
now, the last interesting realignment news was last december,
when hawai'i announced they'd be moving from wac to the mountain west
you may not have noticed, but i did
[hawai'i's actually a decent little team
they give boise state hell on occasion, which is always fun to watch]
then, a couple months and a couple fcs moves later,
texas a&m finally announces that enough is fucking enough
and tried to rip off the duct–tape bandaid that is the big twelve
[insert allusion to bodily injury here]
while it was kinda surprising that it was a&m,
it wasn't surprising that someone wanted out of the big twelve
but then, just three weeks later,
out trots the acc with a suprise announcement
HAAAAI EVERYBODY WE'RE TAKING PITT AND SYRACUSE
KTHNXBAI SUCK MY COCK

wait... fucking what?
apparently, the acc was looking to expand
it let pac–12 and the sec do all the up front talking and speculating,
and apparently worked on some back room deals
so now, instead of trying to wrestle teams away from the sec
[cuz really, who'd want to step down from the sec?]
or looking at conference usa or sunbelt or somebody,
they went organ fishing from their favorite live donor, the big east

in short, big east and acc are not on good terms
beyond the fact that the acc is the better football conference,
the acc has a habit of going viking on big east
you know, pillaging and taking what they desire
the original members of the acc are as follows [from 1953]:
clemson, duke, maryland, north carolina, nc state, duke, and wake forest
in '79, they plucked georgia tech out of the metro 6,
and finally got florida state to settle down with them in '91
[only a year before the other big independent, penn state, would join the big ten]
now, that seems to be a relatively respectable conference
clemson and georgia tech usually field decent teams
and florida state's been good for my entire life,
but you can see where they were a little bit lacking

THEN, in 2004, the acc/big east shit storm hit
that year, the acc decided enough was enough
and ganked both miami AND virginia tech from the big east
both of them had been with the big east since 1991
and were, at that point, two of the biggest teams the conference had
[especially with miami's 2001 national championship,
and virginia tech's 1999 appearance in one]
needless to say, it didn't exactly go over well
and THEN, but a year later,
they added insult to injury by ganking boston college
granted, boston college is hardly a perennial contender,
but it WAS a founding member of the big east
[roughly akin to a conference ganking illinois or wisconsin]

so, having been thoroughly gutted at the top by the acc,
[the big east did pull in 5 teams later in 2005, only 3 play football]
the big east was subjected to straight up thievery two weeks ago
not content being a better overall basketball and football conference,
the acc decided that they needed to be bigger,
and decided the way to expand was to acquire pittsburgh and syracuse
i will repeat that,
because it bears repeating
...
PITT... and SYRACUSE
i have wildly different views on these two schools, so bear with me

first up, pitt
i happen to like pitt [surprise surprise]
and not just because, at heart, i'm a pixburgher
pitt is a really good school
they're a member of the aau [one of only 34 public universities in the country]
it'll have the third highest endowment in the acc at $2.5 billion
it's got a great basketball team [longest current ncaa tourney streak at ten straight]
and a pretty good football team
they were a great team for boosting the big east's image
they'll be great for the acc too
the big east got screwed on that one

also, syracuse? really?
are you fucking kidding me?
of ALL the schools in the big east, you go with syracuse?
fucking why?
their football team is terrible [though they were good 50 years ago]
the basketball is good, but underachieves
and there are more academically impressive schools
[realistically, though
academics seems to only be a real, choice–determining criterion in the big ten]
when you look at syracuse athletically,
all your left with is a 'meh' feeling
if you're going to raid the big east yet again, you might as well deal the death blow
take a big name like notre dame
take a chance on an impressive newcomer like south florida
pull in their most successful basketball program like uconn
don't settle for fucking syracuse

if you want to expand to a 'super' conference,
you absolutely MUST get a big–name program
you have to a texas a&m, or a nebraska, or a west virginia
not expand for the sake of expanding
you can't make a case for a it with a mediocre athletics university
in football as in science, quantitive is usually not better than qualitative
just sayin'

if ever there was a team that the acc should've yanked along with pitt,
it would be west virginia
of course west virginia
not only would you get a built–in rivalry with your two newest members,
you get great geographic rivalries too
plus, west virginia is athletically more consistent than syracuse
and would probly make a much better fit in the conference
i would bet lots of money i don't have that,
given the choice,
random viewers would much rather watch west virginia and florida state/virginia tech
than, say, syracuse and wake forest
or syracuse and clemson
god knows i would

at any rate
at least the acc didn't take rutgers
there's always a worse choice out there
[trust me, i'll be coming back to that]



UP NEXT:
big ten, y u do dis?!

hvězda

e lucevan le stelle,
ed olezzava la terra
stridea l'uscio dell'orto
ed un passo sfiorava la rena
entrava ella fragrante,
mi cadea tra le braccia

o dolci baci, o languide carezze,
mentr'io fremente le belle forme disciogliea dai veli
svanì per sempre il sogno mio d'amore
l'ora è fuggita, e muoio disperato
e non ho amato mai tanto la vita

kaja

close my eyes, let the whole thing pass me by
there is no time to waste asking why
i'll run away with you, by my side
i'll run away with you by my side
i need to let go of this pride

i think about your face and how i fall into your eyes
the outline that i trace around the one that i call mine
time that called for space, unclear where you drew the line
i don't need to solve this case and i don't need to look behind

do i expect to change the past i hold inside?
with all the words i say repeating over in my mind
some things you can't erase, no matter how hard you try
an exit to escape is all there is left to find

close my eyes, let the whole thing close my eyes
let the whole thing pass me by
there is no time to waste asking why
i'll run away with you, by my side
i'll run away with you by my side
i need to let go of this pride
until this echo in my mind
until this echo can subside

kertakäyttöinen

bodies fill the fields i see, hungry heroes end
no one to play soldier now, no one to pretend
running blind through killing fields, bred to kill them all
victim of what's said should be, a servant 'til i fall

barking of machine gun fire does nothing to me now
sounding of the clock that ticks, get used to it somehow
more a man, more stripes you wear, gloryseeker trends
bodies fill the fields i see, the slaughter never ends

why am i dying?
kill, have no fear
lie, live of lying
hell, hell is here

i was born for dying

life planned out before my birth, nothing i could say
had no chance to see myself, molded day by day
looking back i realize, nothing have i done
left to die with only friends, alone i clench my gun

soldier boy, made of clay, now an empty shell
twenty one, only son, but he served us well
bred to kill, not to care, do just as we say
finished here, greeting death, he's yours to take away

back to the front
you will do what i say, when i say
back to the front
you will die when i say you must die
back to the front
you coward, you servant, you blind man

grímsvötn

i had something i was going to put here,
but i'll be damned if i remember what it was
must not've been that important

i'm taking two history classes this summer,
and they couldn't be more different
my online one [encounters in the age of discovery] is a trip
the prof is rather pompous asshole,
the kind of asshole has a ten bullet point list of things he wants in two–page papers
[while grading them like we're twelve years old]
and he posts about 2 1/2 hours of lecture we have to sift through a week
he also keeps making awkward, joking asides in our lectures
it also turns out that there's only four people in that class
which means we all get extra scrutiny
fantastic

my other class is sex, dating, and marriage from wwII
and it's a fucking blast
that prof is both funny and insightful
and we've had interesting class discussions so far
and, unlike my online reading list,
i've actually got interesting books to read for this class
and we've watched/will be watching plenty of movies
makes the three hours twice weekly somewhat bearable

in one of my vagrant displays of consumerism ever,
i bought myself a really nice [and super expensive] ipod docking stereo
and let me tell you, it's nice
it's an altec lansing, so it's got a super deep bass
along with a really wide top range
plus, it has auxiliary jacks my old stereo so unfortunately lacked,
so now it can act as the speakers my laptop has always deserved
[which is not to knock my old usb speakers
which were great, but now belong to my parents]
i also replaced my old headphones,
which were good but crapping out
so now i am surrounded by glorious and gorgeous sound

also, in one of my most vagrant displays of practicality,
i bought myself a really nice, really inexpensive desk
the kind of desk i have been craving my entire time in the dorms
it actually has fucking shelves for once,
so i can put shit on it without cluttering the top of it
talk about convenient, right?
it's like that's what desks were meant to be,
as opposed to flat tabletops with the most useless keyboard drawer ever
so now i am surrounded by glorious and gorgeous workspace

last weekend i got to see vienna teng [!] at the e/l arts festival
i've loved her music for about five years now,
and somehow managed to see her live twice in the past two months
she's fucking phenomenal, let me tell you
she did some great arrangements of her songs with her percussionist
[alex, an amazing musician in his own right]
and even did a radiohead cover
talk about a great way to spend a sunday afternoon

and now, i'm gonna go play some max payne 2
[after dabbling around with it off and on for the past year
i sat down and played the original in one go
9 straight hours well wasted, in my opinion]

prăbușire

wonder how you sleep
i wonder what you think of me
if i could go back,
would you have ever been with me?
i want you to be uneased
i want you to remember
i want you to believe in me
i want you on my side

here we go again,
ashamed of being broken in
we're getting off track
i wanna get you back again
i want you to trouble me
i wanted you turning down
i want you to agree with me
i want so much so bad

yeah, be my savior

only love can save us now
don't lay me down
only love can save us now
i'll be your downfall
ah, love can save us now
don't save me now

come on and lay it down
i've always been with you
here and now
with all that's within you
be my savior,
and i'll be your downfall
mmm

now i'm back on my own
with my feet, they're made of stone
and i'll make you go where i go
it's killin' me, can i take you home?
and i'm comin' home on my back
kissing me, your lips painted black
saying oh,
let me be your downfall

dinnßdaach

i can hear this silence crawl around
hello you thinkers, hello you fakers
and i see the summer drown you dry
hello you lovers, hello you dreamers

when i feel so insecure
i will need you, turn around

i can feel this sadness drag you down
hello you talkers, hello you sleepers
and i see this madness close your eyes
hello mistreaters, hello you weepers

when i feel so insecure
grace my day, please stay around

there's no one left to decide who is right or wrong
waiting's not enough for you
wasting what i want the most
tuesday's gone and i'm tasting it over
let me reside with the same old view
sharing's all i need from you
taking what i want the most
tuesday's near, and i wish that you were here

if this comfort holds you down,
i would gladly pull you out

it's a heavy
[keep, keep, keep me awake somehow]
now

くろづる

мне кажется порою, что солдаты,
с кровавых не пришедшие полей,
не в землю нашу полегли когда–то,
а превратились в белых журавлей.

они до сей поры с времён тех дальних,
летят и подают нам голоса,
не потому ль так часто и печально,
мы замолкаем, глядя в небеса?

летит, летит по небу клин усталый,
летит в тумане на исходе дня,
и в том строю есть промежуток малый,
быть может, это место для меня.

настанет день, и с журавлиной стаей,
я поплыву в такой же сизой мгле,
из–под небес по–птичьи окликая,
всех вас, кого оставил на земле.

penny sit–up

a moderate collection of thoughts:

people are freaking the fuck out over this blizzard,
and i think it's hilarious
this is the shit we live for, people!
this is what living in the midwest is about
absurd amounts of snow, wind, and cold
just be grateful that msu gave us a snow day

[ADDENDUM:
i saw a national guard helicopter fly over on my way back from qd
shit just got serious]

i really lucked out with my choice of classes this semester
after realizing that geology class wasn't for me,
i managed to pick an entomology class with a great prof
go figure
now if only i could get rid of these damn nat/sci requirements,
i'd be all set

i'm debating which video game i should stay up all night playing
current slate:
–grand theft auto III
–killzone
–king kong
–max payne
thoughts?

as much as i enjoy doing graphic design,
i don't think i could ever do it for a living
i'm not nearly creative/artistic enough for this shit
thankfully most of my stuff doesn't look bad
but it doesn't look great either
at least i'm getting a little better at it

i bought a six–pack last night to drink throughout the week
and, by coincidence, also have an unopened box of cheerios
what does this mean?
tonight, i'm having beerios

ţară

'twas halloween and the ghosts were out,
and everywhere they'd go, they'd shout,
and though i covered my eyes i knew
they'd go away

but fear's the only thing i saw,
and three days later, was clear to all
that nothing is as scary as
election day

but the day after is darker,
and darker and darker it goes,
who knows, maybe the plans will change,
who knows, maybe he's not deranged

the news men know what they know, but they
know even less than what they say,
and i don't know who i can trust,
for come what may

'cause we believed in our candidate,
but even more, it's the one we hate,
i needed someone i could shake
on election day

but the day after is darker,
and deeper and deeper we go,
who knows, maybe it's all a dream
who knows if i'll wake up and scream

i love the things that you've given me,
i cherish you, my dear country,
but sometimes i don't understand
the way we play

i love the things that you've given me,
and most of all that i am free
to have a song that i can sing
on election day

berlayar

i’m working on a sound
i’m walking through the city
feeling like the city
is feeling like a sound

i’m dreaming around 11
and i’m thinking of a friend
i’m feeling for the card
and feeling in the air

viscount

WHY I HATE RAINSTORMS
a rant and rage in four acts

movement 1 — people
people are invariably the most irritating part about rainstorms
they always act like it's the end of their existence
because getting wet is SUCH the tragedy
god forbid your hair get frizzy,
or your dress shirt get wrinkled
also, they automatically start bitching about the weather,
and it's always really loud and whiny
like i give a shit about how much you don't like precipitation
if you were smart and paid attention to the forecasts
OR LOOKED OUT YOUR FUCKING WINDOWS
you'd know that clouds are a–comin' and a storm's a–brewin'
and, generally while being whining like pissy kindergartner,
they start run–walking [or actually running] out of the rain
that's actually funny to me, not annoying
watching white people run is always funny
especially when they're ill–suited to do so
portly men in badly–proportioned suits are normally funny
but in a dead sprint, they're fucking comedy gold
but that's only if they don't have their protection with them
which leads to...

entr'acte — umbrellas
there is no crueler invention for city life than umbrellas
granted, they are a moderately–convenient invention
especially when keeping your upper half pristine is important
but they are more than just an irritation for the rest of us
they can be downright life–threatening
consider the following example:
it's starting to drizzle a little bit, not really that hard
a small woman walking towards you pulls out a massive umbrella,
an umbrella that could fit four people under it,
and opens it, holding it about a foot over her head
she's not watching where she's going
[or she's in too much of a rush to care]
it's a small sidewalk, and somewhat crowded
and as this woman passes,
you get hit square in the face [sometimes the eye] with her umbrella
ever happen to you?
cuz it happens to me all the fucking time
and i'm goddamn sick of it

movement 2 — resulting humidity
there's nothing like a rainstorm to help change up the weather
it's like nature's 'reset' button
in the summertime, they're a godsend
they take all the heat and stickiness out of the air
and for a glorious while, you get a respite from the oppressive temps
but then, about fifteen minutes after it's done,
you start to breathe in, and you can taste the moisture
then it gets worse
then it starts getting really bad,
to the point where you feel like you're in the everglades
the humidity comes back with a fucking vengeance
as if in defiance of the rain that just left
saying 'you can't make me leave,
and for trying, you get extra punishment
AHAHAHAHA'
what the hell is that?
if the rain was truly beneficial and kind to us
it'd kick humidity in the balls and make it evaporate
but no
rain is the picador to the humidity's bull
all it's doing is giving it more resolve to make us miserable

rondo — duration
rain is a fickle* beast, and it does whatever it damn well pleases
and normally want it wants is not what you want
especially in terms of how long it'll rain
when you want it to, it's never long enough
but when you do,
that's shit over quicker than an honest politician's career
it always goes on forever when you need it to stop
when you've got an armful of books or important documents
or maybe you're carrying something electronic
it rains like it'll never get the chance to again
but when you're bored and have the free time,
maybe decide to go out, get soaked, and splash in the puddles,
then the rain quits after about five minutes
and that MOTHERFISTFUCKING HUMIDITY comes back
it feel like you took a swan dive into a turkish bath
and just feel all sticky and slightly damp
why can't that ever be reversed?
why can't rain let us appreciate it when we want to?
and piss off when it's really, REALLY problematic?
is that so goddamn hard?


i love rain, i really do
thunderstorms are my favorite natural phenomenon
and rain in general is something that'll brighten my day
but goddamned if it doesn't piss me off in the process
it's like a really cool person you've known for a long time
and you love hanging out with them, especially just the two of you
but they always have to bring their fucking friends
and they're ALWAYS complete pricks,
and it just ruins it for you
i guess i'll have to get used to it,
cuz that's not gonna change anytime soon




*when i was writing the last part,
i initially wrote 'fuckle' instead of fickle,
and i immediately started to wonder how that would work
i imagined some unholy combo of suckling and fucking
and then imagined is as the logical follow up to cuddling
i bet some cutesy motherfucker is gonna start using that
'hey baby, i just wanna cuddle with you,
and then maybe, if things start to get hot,
we can fuckle a little bit, then maybe cuddle again'
don't think it won't happen