acc-essing my inner rage

it may have taken a week,
but damn it, i finally got around to it
and now, without further ado,
angry football rant, part two



i'm actually gonna hold off on the acc for a minute,
and talk about what's really bothering me about college football right now:
the mufuckin' super conference

those of us have bothered following conference realignment have heard of this
it's the idea that any of the big 6 conferences
[big east, big ten, big twelve, acc, sec, pac–12]
could create a 14 or 16 team conference of football schools
which would then TOTALLY DOMINATE everything ever
and they would make LOTS OF MONEY
and make the powerhouses EVEN MORE POWERFUL HARGLBRLARGH
people were especially paying attention to the sec and pac–12,
[because the big twelve is completely up for grabs, it seems]
and expecting them to make the first moves

and, it just happens to be a REALLY. BAD. IDEA.

there are two major issues with this particular line of crazy:
raiding and win/loss records
FIRST
there are only four fbs teams that are currently independent in football
army, navy, byu, and notre dame
every other school is in a conference already
so, in order to create a super conference,
you have to straight up jack a school from it's current conference
which is basically akin to stealing orphans from an orphanage
in order to make your own SUPER orphanage of prize and prime children
which, while it raises your profile, also makes you look like a cock
[yeah, i'm looking at you, pac–12 and acc]

SECOND
if you have a ton of powerhouse programs in your conference,
that means they'll be playing each other constantly
which means that one of them will lose
and conceivably lose more than they normally would
which completely diminishes their threat
normally conferences have two or three real powerhouse teams
[alabama/florida/lsu, virginia tech/florida state/clemson,
texas/oklahoma/nebraska, michigan/ohio state/penn state, &c]
that way, the powerhouse teams don't have TOO much competition
they'll get tests every season [usually from each other]
but this system allows those teams to win consistently
[which gives them the opportunity to make it to bowl games]
AND it makes it easier for middle–of the pack teams
[which have a better chance of breaking into the upper echelon]

if you have a 16 member conference,
and six of those teams are powerhouses,
half of your conference schedule is going to be really challenging
and not in the good way that builds up the team
could you imagine playing alabama, texas, florida, oklahoma, and lsu?
or any absurd combination of top tier teams
all in back to back weeks?
there's almost no chance you make it through that unscathed
and it reduces the amount of teams that can go unbeaten to one
[what with conference championships]
and since there are only 2 bcs berths per conference,
only two of those 'elite' teams are gonna make it that high
what the fuck good is that?
it actively reduces the chance of really good teams making it to the bcs
[which, by the way, is a bullshit system]
and completely negates getting those teams in the first place
cuz if they can't win, they can't be elite,
and they'll become mediocre like eeeeeeeeeveryone else

oh, and by the way,
the same principle applies to basketball
too many good teams increases the likelihood of more losses
something that should be especially disconcerting to...


DA ACC
[for unknown reasons, i like writing it like that]
now, the acc is the latest conference to bear the brunt of my wrath
mostly beecause they're fucking stupid
i'll try to ennumerate why, but it might require some sedatives

as though we didn't get enough realignment problems LAST summer,
THIS summer has been just as exciting
[granted, there's conference realignment every year
but it's usually limited to small schools from small conferences moving up
like, when schools move from division II to fcs conferences,
or when fcs teams move into non–aq fbs conferences]
now, the last interesting realignment news was last december,
when hawai'i announced they'd be moving from wac to the mountain west
you may not have noticed, but i did
[hawai'i's actually a decent little team
they give boise state hell on occasion, which is always fun to watch]
then, a couple months and a couple fcs moves later,
texas a&m finally announces that enough is fucking enough
and tried to rip off the duct–tape bandaid that is the big twelve
[insert allusion to bodily injury here]
while it was kinda surprising that it was a&m,
it wasn't surprising that someone wanted out of the big twelve
but then, just three weeks later,
out trots the acc with a suprise announcement
HAAAAI EVERYBODY WE'RE TAKING PITT AND SYRACUSE
KTHNXBAI SUCK MY COCK

wait... fucking what?
apparently, the acc was looking to expand
it let pac–12 and the sec do all the up front talking and speculating,
and apparently worked on some back room deals
so now, instead of trying to wrestle teams away from the sec
[cuz really, who'd want to step down from the sec?]
or looking at conference usa or sunbelt or somebody,
they went organ fishing from their favorite live donor, the big east

in short, big east and acc are not on good terms
beyond the fact that the acc is the better football conference,
the acc has a habit of going viking on big east
you know, pillaging and taking what they desire
the original members of the acc are as follows [from 1953]:
clemson, duke, maryland, north carolina, nc state, duke, and wake forest
in '79, they plucked georgia tech out of the metro 6,
and finally got florida state to settle down with them in '91
[only a year before the other big independent, penn state, would join the big ten]
now, that seems to be a relatively respectable conference
clemson and georgia tech usually field decent teams
and florida state's been good for my entire life,
but you can see where they were a little bit lacking

THEN, in 2004, the acc/big east shit storm hit
that year, the acc decided enough was enough
and ganked both miami AND virginia tech from the big east
both of them had been with the big east since 1991
and were, at that point, two of the biggest teams the conference had
[especially with miami's 2001 national championship,
and virginia tech's 1999 appearance in one]
needless to say, it didn't exactly go over well
and THEN, but a year later,
they added insult to injury by ganking boston college
granted, boston college is hardly a perennial contender,
but it WAS a founding member of the big east
[roughly akin to a conference ganking illinois or wisconsin]

so, having been thoroughly gutted at the top by the acc,
[the big east did pull in 5 teams later in 2005, only 3 play football]
the big east was subjected to straight up thievery two weeks ago
not content being a better overall basketball and football conference,
the acc decided that they needed to be bigger,
and decided the way to expand was to acquire pittsburgh and syracuse
i will repeat that,
because it bears repeating
...
PITT... and SYRACUSE
i have wildly different views on these two schools, so bear with me

first up, pitt
i happen to like pitt [surprise surprise]
and not just because, at heart, i'm a pixburgher
pitt is a really good school
they're a member of the aau [one of only 34 public universities in the country]
it'll have the third highest endowment in the acc at $2.5 billion
it's got a great basketball team [longest current ncaa tourney streak at ten straight]
and a pretty good football team
they were a great team for boosting the big east's image
they'll be great for the acc too
the big east got screwed on that one

also, syracuse? really?
are you fucking kidding me?
of ALL the schools in the big east, you go with syracuse?
fucking why?
their football team is terrible [though they were good 50 years ago]
the basketball is good, but underachieves
and there are more academically impressive schools
[realistically, though
academics seems to only be a real, choice–determining criterion in the big ten]
when you look at syracuse athletically,
all your left with is a 'meh' feeling
if you're going to raid the big east yet again, you might as well deal the death blow
take a big name like notre dame
take a chance on an impressive newcomer like south florida
pull in their most successful basketball program like uconn
don't settle for fucking syracuse

if you want to expand to a 'super' conference,
you absolutely MUST get a big–name program
you have to a texas a&m, or a nebraska, or a west virginia
not expand for the sake of expanding
you can't make a case for a it with a mediocre athletics university
in football as in science, quantitive is usually not better than qualitative
just sayin'

if ever there was a team that the acc should've yanked along with pitt,
it would be west virginia
of course west virginia
not only would you get a built–in rivalry with your two newest members,
you get great geographic rivalries too
plus, west virginia is athletically more consistent than syracuse
and would probly make a much better fit in the conference
i would bet lots of money i don't have that,
given the choice,
random viewers would much rather watch west virginia and florida state/virginia tech
than, say, syracuse and wake forest
or syracuse and clemson
god knows i would

at any rate
at least the acc didn't take rutgers
there's always a worse choice out there
[trust me, i'll be coming back to that]



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big ten, y u do dis?!