jagjaguwar

we meet again, four a/m
you and i really got to know each other well this year
normally we'd only meeting fleetingly
maybe once or twice a week
sometimes, very rarely, not for a few weeks at a time
but our relationship changed, big time
i didn't know it, but apparently we're going steady
and we have been for over half a year now
glad you finally clued me in

i have to say, though, you could've been less bitchy about it
i understand that you don't like when i don't give you attention
and my hanging out with other times must cut deep
i understand
i think you're too goddamn sensitive,
and it's not that a huge of a deal
but still, i get it,
you're hurt, you felt abandoned maybe?
i'd say i'm sorry, but it was beginning to feel abusive
you had a stranglehold over my mornings
you'd never let me take a nap around you
never let me go and do other things without you
we don't have to see each other every day to be good together
sometimes, time apart helps strengthen the relationship
at least in theory

you'd never let me test that though, would you?
i tried telling you, but you just wouldn't listen to me
so here it is again, and i really need to you to listen this time:
i need some time on my own, away from you
and we need to not hang out again for a while
maybe in a week or so, but definitely not the coming days
you're starting to drive me a little batshit
your constant neediness and mid–night rendezvous are taxing
i can only give you so much, you know
and i don't have much to give

at first you only took up free time
and that's fine, less time spent fucking around on the interwubs is okay
but then, you slowly started creeping into my study time
and i get it, maybe i was being a little neglectful,
but i have other priorities, you know?
then a little study time turned into a lot of study time
and i started falling a bit behind
it wasn't too major, i could make up for it later
but i felt a little used, you know?
like i had no say in what was going on between us
and now? you've taken it to far
i try to sleep at other points during the day to spend time with you,
and you fucking refuse to let me
what the hell?
are you so controlling that i can't spend time with anyone else?
do i constantly need to be in an insomniac stupor to please you?
this is ridiculous

no, you never listen to what i have to say
i've had it with you, and your constant need for attention
you show up unannounced, you always butt in,
i can never get away from you anymore
and you're fucking rude to my friends
i'm calling it off, four a/m
you can pick your stuff up off the curb,
cuz i'm done with you and you using me
i'm my own man
and i demand the ability to sleep around you again
don't make me turn this into an even bigger mess
just let me loose, and find some other poor asshole to siphon off of




needless to say,
my weekday sleep schedule is completely fucked up now
it's become me passing out for an hour or two every six to eight hours
which is not beneficial in any way
i do tend to make up for it on the weekends,
but man is it a bitch five days a week
at this point i'm in need of a hard system reboot
that or the six–inch drop test
cuz this is goddamn ridiculous
off to studying i go, i guess