bolondok

of all the stupid things i was expecting to see today
i enjoyed this one the most

i hope against all things probable
that my meeting with my prof goes well tomorrow
i hope that honors option is possible
cuz i'm running out of options
and i need something to show for myself really soon
and along that same vein
i still need to make a schedule for next year
shit

i'm going to start ritually sacrificing animals
starting small, and eventually progressing in size
i can hope some secondary deity will discover me
i don't want help from them, per se
i just hope my inability to balance my deadlines amuses them
and thus, they keep me alive to continue to entertain
that's really all i ask
sure as hell beats the alternatives

i mentioned to someone tonight how i haven't written anything lately
the last thing i wrote to completion was back in august
the last good thing i wrote was over a year ago
most i've been able to manage lately is the beginnings of things
once or twice i might have gotten about halfway done
but nothing's come to fruition in almost 9 months
dry spells are irritating, but i think this is something more...
i think i'm losing my ability to write fiction
i truly am
every piece i try to start seems to be worse than the last one
i've deleted a lot of story ideas off my computer
i know, it goes against the whole creative process thing to do that
but i don't care, all they do is frustrate me
i think it might be time to call it quits on that
probly not forever, but for the foreseeable future

so, here's to you, creative writing part of my brain
you were helpful when you still worked