5/14/11

iodoform

dear weather,
let's cut right to the chase
i really don't like when it's hot outside
and i HATE when it's humid,
unfortunately, you like to do both here during the summer
[which, by the way, is a poor choice to make]
and sometimes, when you're feeling particularly vindictive,
you give us good citizenry a little teaser of what's to come

take this week, for example
coming off of last week, which was relatively decent for early may,
you decided it was time to blow past spring
and plunge headlong into late–june weather
not only was i not expecting mid–80s this past week
i also wasn't expecting it to get so damn humid
i gotta tell ya, i was pretty pissed
especially yesterday,
when i faced to prospect of 82º, super humid, and moving shit outside

but, beyond my annoyance about the heat
what really cuts me to the quick was the your lies about the rain
see, what got me through that shitty heat wave was the prospect of rain
glorious, long stretches of thunderstorms
coming in to sweep away the heat and humidity,
but then, in what can only be described as a bitch move,
you decided there would be no rainstorms
[and there would certainly be no thunderstorms]
and instead taunted me with 2 minutes of quick drizzle
which, of course, made the humidity worse
again, i was pretty pissed, even more so than before

and then, like i said before, came yesterday
after mercilessly mocking me with florida–like muggyness
it got a tiny bit cooler and much grayer
and then wonderfully, implausibly, it began to rain
and not just rain, either
it poured for damn near three hours, and then kept going
nearly 10 straight hours of solid, glorious raining
and, even though i had to walk through it to get back
and, ESPECIALLY because i had to walk through it to get back
i was giddy like a five year old
and, upon checking to see what the forecast would be
saw a solid predicted week of cool, rainy, ~60º days

so, even though it goes against my better judgment,
and the inevitability that more shitty weather approaches,
and my certainty that you're doing this just to fuck with me
i forgive you for this past week's hideous conditions
now let's keep it coming, eh?

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