lojalność

i need to stop compulsively downloading music
i'm running out space to put it
that and, most of the time,
it turns out to be shit i don't like
so it's probly better if i scale back on that


i had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine
it wasn't really enlightening, it was just...
well, realistic, for lack of a better word
it was about friendship, and the ones i have
i really started to realize that i'm taking the wrong tack on it
i've been making a lot of new friends at msu
most of whom are passing acquaintances at best
i have about 250 msu people on facebook
and i really only know about twenty of them

what bothers me is that i've been doing it a lot
so much so that my old friendships have been waning
that's not to say i didn't expect that
i've told a lot of people to enjoy friendship in the now
because it won't last two years after this
but i've had quite a few that have endured
people who have stuck by me through a lot
for no other reason than because they really liked me
and i've been brushing that aside, like it doesn't matter
well, it does, it really does
basically, i've been substituting people for each other
making friends here who remind me of my old friends
which is completely stupid; there's no reason for it
i've basically been punishing my friends by ignoring them
and that's a real jackass move on my part
like most of mine are

i need to start scaling back on the new people
most of the 'friendships' i've had in the past two years have lacked substance
pretty much all of them are acquaintances of convenience
like a lot of people turn out to be, at least in my case
substituting them for people i actually know and like is stupid
that's not to say i'll drop all friendships i've made here
but most of them i will
most of them aren't worth my time, or their's
and i don't feel like wasting that time

long and boring, i know
but i needed to say it
and there it is