this may be a shock to some of your systems,
so i urge, in the strongest possible terms,
listen to each video at your own discretion

in my never ending quest for good metal bands,
i end up looking through tons of wikipedia articles
and one of the bands i came across had a cool name
[i'm a sucker for well–named things]
so i look into them, and they're listed as being 'gothic rock'
normally this is not my cup of brutal, metallic tea
but i figured i'd give them a listen
[on youtube]
i wasn't just gonna download them on a whim,
because, just look at them

little did i know what i was in for
after a quick, innocent search,
i discovered something no man, woman, or child should ever hear:
the perfect emo/goth amalgam
they look like grown–up emo kids
but they dress in all black and have goth looking videos
musically, they're gothic rock all the way
but have lyrics that reek of emo–ness
they embody the worst of both emo and goth music,
with just a little bit of extra terribleness sprinkled on top

this is but a sampling
you've been warned
my heart, your hands
i still lost
making the most
and, the coup de grâce, [i just] died in your arms

i told you, you shouldn't have listened



apparently today is celebrate bisexuality day
why today, though, i couldn't tell you
it's not as though september 23 has any special significance
[although it is the anniversary of mozilla's first public web browser, phoenix
perhaps a subtle outing of firefox as a multi–gender philanderer of a  web browser?]

i'm not sure about the rest of you bi guys and gals out there,
but i'm sure as shit not celebrating
it's not really something deserving of a celebration, is it?
maybe if it was the cause of some fantastic achievement,
["bisexuality shown to provide perfect antidote to lupus"
or was the heretofore–unknown key to some human advancement
["invention of gunpowder linked to bisexuality, chinese researchers find"]
or maybe even provided some sort of tactical advantage
["bisexuals 78% more likely to become ornithologists, u.n. peacekeepers"]
if any of those were the case, i'd be more than willing to
but alas, it is not

so, instead of spending the day celebrating something i just am
[i also happen to be male, scottish, brunette, a yankee, hairy, snarky, and tall]
i'll be doing things that actually matter to me,
like homework and thesis research

...and toasting firefox's ninth birthday


dissing the twelve [ten... nine...]

it's time for more hotheaded football bullshit from me
i hope you're fucking ready for it,
cuz i sure as hell am

first up: the big twelve [disrespect intended]
what in FUCK's name is going on over there?
is there something in the beer out there,
or have you all lost your fucking minds simultaneously?
i knew there was some serious tension among the schools
[see the last, i dunno, entire league's existence period]
but come on, there has to be a less public way of airing your dirty laundry

the way i've seen it unfold,
there are two main points of contention:
commissioner dan beebe, and the entire goddamn state of texas
we'll start with texas, because when aren't they the fucking problem?

the university of texas at austin is, as you might know, an athletic juggernaut
the longhorns have won almost 50 national championships in all its sports
it has the second–winningest football team ever
is considered the best sports school in the country
and is almost instantly recognizable thanks to that goddamn cow
[is it me, or does bevo look vaguely like a uterus?]
at any rate, texas is considered a college athletics elite
now, the problem here is that they've got egos roughly the size of their state
and it's athletic department, along with the university chancellory
[and, by the way, espn, a huge what–the–fuck on my part]
decided to follow in the steps of the big ten network, but in their own texas way:
they created the 'longhorn network'
a 24–hour sports channel dedicated to, you guessed it, texas sports
while that's all fine and dandy for those of us who leave south of the panhandle,
pesky little bastards, always with a complaint

[quick segue:
the big ten network is the progenitor of conference sports channels
launched in 2007, it covers all sports played by big ten teams
from football all the way down to field hockey
what made it truly revolutionary in the tv realm was its profit–sharing:
every big ten school would receive equal revenue from the big ten network
to the tune of $22.6 MILLION in 2011
while this might strike some among us as pinko commie bullshit,
it proves yet again that the big ten believes in institutional equity
and that all of us make the big ten, not just michigan and ohio state]

back to the longhorn network,
the reason it's been surrounded in such a shitstorm is exceedingly simple:
they would be profitting off other schools without giving them a cut
there is no big 12 network to speak off,
and the current profit–sharing fiasco in the big twelve is, well, a fiasco
schools recoup profits based on the tv share of their games on major sports networks
which, while fair, leads to inequality and resentment
so, when you put that alongside the longhorn network,
you can see why the other 9 schools are pissed off
plus, to top it all off,
espn was trying to secure rights for the big twelve conference game on longhorn network
which means that texas could profit on a game they might not even play in
[like last year's title game of nebraska v. oklahoma]

thus, as the wronged and exploited tend to do,
the other schools of the big twelve pitched a collective bitch fit about it
and, might i add, rightfully so
regardles of how shitty your team may or may not be,
you don't want some elitist jerkoffs making one–sided profits off you
the arrogance of the texas athletic department is just dumbfounding
these people, who make more money than any one else in the big twelve,
would make an even more obscene amount just cuz they wanted to
no wonder no one fucking likes them

in other texas related sports news,
there's the ongoing saga of the texas a&m defection
for those not paying atttention to it,
a&m decided that they wanted the fuck out of the big twelve in a big, big hurry
so about a month ago they began shopping themselves around
their most open flirtations were with the pac 12 and sec,
with the sec becoming their sugar daddy of choice
it seems to me that a&m was taking advantage of the uncertainty
cuz god knows, ever since nebraska and colorado bolted like bats out of hell
[and, truthfully, since well before that]
the big twelve's been on pretty shaky ground
so whether a&m was trying to push it over the precipice,
or simply cutting their losses, we'll never know
at any rate, they decided the sec was their best opportunity,
and so off they went
except, not really

there's always someone who wants to kick you in the groin,
someone who never lets you get what you want
and that someone, in this case, is baylor
yes, that baylor
the one in waco with the 6'8" center on the women's team and ken starr as president
[and yes, that is the ken starr who investigated bill clinton's philandry]
they were so agrieved at a&m's anticipated departure that they threatened to sue
yeah, that's right
they want to sue a&m and the sec for leaving the big twelve
and they've got the backing of virtually all the schools left in the big twelve
[except oklahoma which, surprise surprise, is shopping itself around too]
add in the fact that the a&m ad was not shy about bashing the longhorn network,
and they've got some serious obstacles facing their departure
baylor hasn't backed down on their pledge to sue,
but a&m hasn't backed down on trying to bail the fuck out of the big twelve, either
granted, baylor and the big twelve schools do have legitimate issues,
not the least of which is the prospect of losing yet another big–name program
but either the big twelve or a&m has to cave,
and my bet is that it's the big twelve, and i'll tell you why:
dan beebe

conveniently rounding out my ranting is our second topic:
commissioner dan beebe
possibly the most hated man in athletics west of the mississippi
he's been on the job just over four years,
and he brought earthquakes to an already unstable fault line
he was seen as basically being texas's yes man,
allowing them to do virtually anything they wanted to
[and yes, that does include the creation of the longhorn network]
in addition, he allowed the inequity and frustration to boil over,
culminating in last year's loss of colorado and nebraska on consecutive days
while you could argue that both schools had machinations towards leaving,
that's not something you just allow to happen
for fuck's sake, nebraska's a marquee program, a huge name
i may not like the huskers, but goddamn it they're a keeper if ever there was one
there's so little love for the man,
oklahoma conditioned their non–departure on sacking him
that's right, oklahoma's willing to leave just to get the fuck away that guy
could you imagine being him if oklahoma left?
losing two of the biggest names in college football in one year,
all thanks to your nepotism and ineptitude?
christ, i'd throw myself into a fucking tornado
but, thankfully for us and our sanity,
beebe decided to get out before they showed up with lots of guns,
and reportedly decided last night to beat it the fuck of out the big twelve
i honestly don't know enough about the guy to judge whether this is good or not,
but it'll probly go a long way towards keeping the big twelve together
which, for my sanity's and rage's sake, i hope it does

i realized, after writing that last paragraph,
it sounds like oklahoma is a wronged party,
and simply trying to survive in an unfair system
that is WRONG, purely and simply
they're being just as fucking arrogant, if not more so, than texas
they tried beating it to the pac12, the sec,
basically anywhere they felt like they'd be 'valued'
with, btdubs, is complete and utter bullshit
they've been coddled almost as much as texas,
and then turned around and made demands for things instead of asking for them
so basically the big twelve is broken down as follows
texas is arrogantly successful and elitist pack leader
oklahoma is the equally as successful but much bitchier beta male
and then there's fucking everybody else
little wonder why that conference can't keep itself together]

acc–essing my inner rage at the acc



i'm always screaming my lungs out,
till my head starts spinning
playing my songs is the way i cope with life
won't keep my voice down
know the words i speak are the thoughts i think out loud

i like to keep things honest
i'm a safe bet like your life's staked on it, for real
i'd hate to keep you all wondering
i'm constant like the seasons, and i will never be forgotten, man

still got something left to prove
it tends to keep things moving
while everyone around me says my last days are looming overhead
but what the hell do they think they know?
i keep my head above water while they drown in the undertow

if you take it from me,
live your life for yourself
cause when it's all said and done, you don't need anyone else

so let's get back to when everything seemed perfect
not a worry in the world, tell me was it all worth it?
i get what i want, so everyone's always judging me
i'm not afraid of anything, i've got the whole world in front of me.

let's leave no words unspoken
and save regrets for the broken
will you even look back when you think of me?

all i want is a place to call my own
and mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low



e lucevan le stelle,
ed olezzava la terra
stridea l'uscio dell'orto
ed un passo sfiorava la rena
entrava ella fragrante,
mi cadea tra le braccia

o dolci baci, o languide carezze,
mentr'io fremente le belle forme disciogliea dai veli
svanì per sempre il sogno mio d'amore
l'ora è fuggita, e muoio disperato
e non ho amato mai tanto la vita