krzhizhanovsky

i need a job
for lots of reasons, most of them being the fact that i'm poor
but i really need an outlet, too
hopefully i can get something halfway decent
otherwise, i'll start whoring myself out
which is a bad idea,
because i wouldn't make money doing that, either

i'm liking the fact that i won't have much free time again
but this busy isn't like last semester's busy
last semester was frantic, edging towards psychotic
this semester is looking to be productive,
or at the very least, time-consuming
i'm ok with that, i need to spend time away from phillips
i spent most of my waking hours in sny/phi last year
between the plays, the caf, all the reading, homework, and studying
i probly spent about 80% of my time just on the second floor
i don't want to live there, i just want to exist there
i don't really see a room as a place to be all the time
especially if you have a single
i really don't want to do much more than sleep there
study and read, maybe, but that's about it
it really doesn't need any more purpose than that

i'm ready for football season to really get going
none of this throwaway, easy-win opening week bullshit
i want to see some gritty, hard-fought, heart-breaking games
i want to see some goddamn injuries,
i want to hear screams at the officials
i want to see people screaming at the top of their lungs
i want to hate the other team, and occasionally my own
i want to love my steelers and spartans
i want to tell john madden to shut up
i want to feel the elation when we win at the last second
i want to feel the anguish when we lose by one point
i want to trash talk on my shitty little white board
and i want some yelling matches with opposing fans
I WANT SOME FUCKING FOOTBALL

as an aside,
i wonder a lot about the people who overhear me,
the people in grocery stores or fast food places
who have to listen to me when i'm in public,
i always wonder what they think about what i'm saying
cuz i know some ridiculous shit comes out of my mouth
i mean, i swear a lot
and the curses i string together are... well, unique
plus, i talk about pretty random stuff most of the time
i like to think it throws a wrench in the cog of normal days
i just wonder if other people appreciate it like i do
i'm sure they don't, but that's how it goes