uzhasnyj

and now, because i can
some dead baby jokes
[mostly because i'm a horrible person]:


how do keep a baby from crawling in a circle?
nail its other hand to the floor

how do you make a baby float?
take your foot off its head

whats blue, red, and crawling up your leg?
an aborted baby trying to go home

whats worse than a baby?
a dead baby
whats worse than a dead baby?
a pile of dead babies
whats worse than a pile of dead babies?
a pile of dead babies with a live baby underneath
whats worse than a pile of dead babies with a live baby underneath?
a pile of dead babies with a live baby underneath eating its way out

what 11 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night?
a sids baby

how are babies and popcorn alike?
they both pop if they're microwaved long enough

what's funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in clown costume

whats brown and gurgles?
a baby casserole

how can you keep a baby from falling down a manhole?
shove a javelin through its head

how many babies does it take to paint a barn?
depends on how hard you throw them

how do you fit ten babies in a glass?
put them in the blender

why do you unload a truckful of dead babies with a pitchfork?
so you can tell which ones are still alive