condamnée

what passing–bells for these who die as cattle?
only the monstrous anger of the guns.
only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
can patter out their hasty orisons.
no mockeries for them; no prayers nor bells,
nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,—
the shrill, demented choirs of the wailing shells;
and bugles calling for them from sad shires.

what candles may be held to speed them all?
not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
the pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
and each slow dusk a drawing–down of blinds

nehéz

now i've come to cry
shed your skin to rest my naked eye, and criticize,
all that i implore
seems to be one foot outside that door,
coming between me and waking

underneath the corset of your mystery
piece by piece, undress you from your history
i'm sleeping with seclusion in sweet disarray

born unto this pride,
silence is something you can't hide
you can't deny us,
nothing has been said,
yet so many words have filled my head
now they completely surround me

tie the lines of honest conductivity,
caught between the center of our gravity
i don't have that much time to burn anymore

you can go heavy on me,
and i will not weigh you down
you can be steady and clean,
i can take it
heavy on me, and i will not weigh you down

fionnúir

it's 6`30 in the morning, and the only emotion i feel is hunger
which is quite a feat,
considering i spent the entire weekend puking my guts out
and i do mean that literally
i managed to reach a point, about 12 hours into pure, abject sickness,
where i truly had nothing left in my body to vomit
it was quite the experience

tonight's batch of homework was noteworthy,
in the sense that, for the first time in at least two months,
i haven't been fist–shakingly angry by the time i finished
i believe it's the calming influence of rise against
perhaps, when the two are tackled in tandem,
they result in a perfectly harmonious, productive coupling
[well, not perfectly, but relatively close]
i'll have to keep that in mind when i write my essay sometime tomorrow

a true testament to the delirium under which i'm currently operating
not twenty minutes ago, i was trying to figure out what a word meant
my russian prof had spelled it wrong [surprise, surprise],
so i was left trying to guess at the right spelling
thankfully, i have a handy online dictionary for that
a handy online dictionary that offers spelling suggestions when you fuck up
so i finally found the word, in its perfective form
then, i see what its perfective form is:
соскакивать [pronounced 'sauce–COCK–ih-vuhts]
i laughed so hard i couldn't breathe for a solid minute and a half
it was truly the highlight of my morning

it's been raining pretty steadily for about the past twelve hours here,
though it's slowly increased over the past hour or so
which i found out when i got ready to leave the library
normally, when i go galavanting around in the rain,
i do so with as close to unmitigated joy as you'll ever get from me
this morning, though, it was rather mitigated
due to the fact that i had my laptop in my backpack
backpack–lugging tends to dampen the effects of rain on my mood
[not to put too fine a pun on it]

i saw the score from the msu–green bay women's game last night,
and was rather surprised
i would've imagined the women's team to go farther than the second round
the post–season has not been kind to big–name msu athletics this school year
they just can't seem to catch a break
now that i think about it, of the two sports i do watch regularly
[college/pro fooball and men's/women's college basketball],
none of the teams i've picked to go far [or win it all] have
they've all fallen by the wayside at some point before the season is over
that doesn't bode well, especially for my true favorite team
now is not the time to let me down, uconn huskies
you already failed me in the fiesta bowl this year,
don't fail me in the ncaa tournament


and now for a short commercial break [so i can go get food]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk9oa_PiXAk
we now return to your regularly–scheduled ramblings,
all ready in progress


i'm not particularly sure when it started,
but i've started reading the freep a couple times a week
especially on tuesdays/thursdays, when i have my early class
i don't really have a reason why,
especially considering that there are better newspapers out there
[but, unfortunately, none that i have free access to
it's either that, the state news, usatoday, and/or the new york times
i'll be damned if i stoop so low as to read the times,
usatoday really just sucks (aside from their daily puzzles,
and the state news is just campus/city news usually]
i dunno, there just seems to be something right about sitting down,
getting some food, drinking a cup of tea, and reading the paper
maybe it's cuz i'm secretly a 40 year old man inside,
but it's one of those things i just seem to enjoy

also, i just realized something:
this is my first non–lyric post in a month [not to the day, unfortunately]
i'm not sure what i should think about that
on one hand, it's mostly good music, so there's no real loss
on the other, that gets really boring and stupid after a while
i probly shouldn't do it again
but i can guarantee i will

i don't know why,
i'm not sure what prompted it,
i don't even know where it came from
but i just had the insanely strong urge to watch the 'i'm on a boat' video
somewhere, somehow brombrom just started laughing,
and he's not sure why

addendum:
after looking back at it, and thinking about it for a good 30 seconsds,
i think 'it's 6`30 in the morning, and the only emotion i feel is hunger'
may in fact be the best opening line i've ever written on anything, ever
thoughts?

dümìnica

on a sunday i'll think it though
on the drive back, i'll think it through
what you wish for won't come true
live with that

and on a sunday she thought it through
now as i drive back, there's thirty–six less hours
i have to change the course i send myself
live with that

on a sunday, go once around
because when the ride's done, the hopes that you have carried,
they fall out from your hands back to the ground
live with that

learn as the drugs leave
learn as you lose it
you will

the haze clears from your eyes on a sunday

dy' sadorn

saturday, what a day, what a silly little day
time to kill, take a pill, as i sit and contemplate
how i'd like to be around all the people in the town
with their fancy cars and things
but i, i've got time

in the haste, in the grace, i've been up to my waist
it isn't real what you feel when you find love in a chase
i've been waiting for the day when someone takes me away
and i never get replaced
but i've got time

as i sink, one more drink, i am running out of ink
feeling void, paranoid about every little thing
and i wonder if i try to get up and say goodbye
if i'll have the strength to leave
cuz i don't have much time anymore

stop pushin' all your tragedies away
each moment has got a lesson for the day
take something with you if you drag your heels in yesterdays
oh, these saturdays

di-haoine

i want to believe in myself once again
so i dream of a man whose hopes never end
to kiss with a girl who's as lovely as you
i'd give you my heart if you gave me the truth

and for every tear that is lost from an eye,
i'd dig me a well where no man could destroy
i want to believe in a freedom that's bold
but all i remember is the freedom of old

well i lost me a wife, so i found me a plane
flew all the way to california
this mess in my head is a mess getting out
you drink too much coffee, i drink too much stout

but after a while, when my mouth ain't so dry
i'll dance up a storm, sure life's looking fine
but as darkness falls i return to my bed
don't ask me more questions, don't fuck with my head

the buildings they shake, but my heart it beats still
oh mother of jesus, i feel pretty ill
i want to go home where my feet both feel safe
but there ain't no jobs in the old free state

so i must remain in my new adopted land
i'm doing the best, hell i'm doin' all i can
so the next time you see me, don't ask for my name
for i am the kind and sure long may i reign

i've been down in this world, down and almost broken
like thousands of people, left standing in their shoe
i've been down in this world, down and almost broken
as thousands they grieve as the black friday rule

dunnaschda

all of my life i've tried so hard
doing my best with what i had
nothing much happened all the same

something about me stood apart
a whisper of hope that seemed to fail
maybe i'm born right out of my time
breaking my life in two

sometimes i cried my heart to sleep
shuffling days and lonesome nights
sometimes my courage fell to my feet

lucky old sun is in my sky
nothing prepared me for your smile
lighting the darkness of my soul
innocence in your arms

throw me tomorrow,
now that i've really got a chance
throw me tomorrow,
everything's falling into place
throw me tomorrow
seeing my past to let it go
throw me tomorrow
only for you i don't regret
that i was thursday's child

monday, tuesday, wednesday, born i was
monday, tuesday, wednesday, born i was
thursday's child

dimècres

it happens only in the day time,
she looks to me and says
but it's only in the night time, oh
she pulls me closer to her body so i can hear

out of knowledge in a way
from passing through her head
as it spins out of life and time
she keeps on trying to fight the evil in her mind

there's a kink and then a scream
but it's only in her dream
i look around and it's you, oh
i can't believe it's only wednesday
and she can't see that everyone is there except for me
i  know i don't want to lose this time

and she looks to me,
but she can't even believe it
but i don't want to lose this time

dinnßdaach

i can hear this silence crawl around
hello you thinkers, hello you fakers
and i see the summer drown you dry
hello you lovers, hello you dreamers

when i feel so insecure
i will need you, turn around

i can feel this sadness drag you down
hello you talkers, hello you sleepers
and i see this madness close your eyes
hello mistreaters, hello you weepers

when i feel so insecure
grace my day, please stay around

there's no one left to decide who is right or wrong
waiting's not enough for you
wasting what i want the most
tuesday's gone and i'm tasting it over
let me reside with the same old view
sharing's all i need from you
taking what i want the most
tuesday's near, and i wish that you were here

if this comfort holds you down,
i would gladly pull you out

it's a heavy
[keep, keep, keep me awake somehow]
now

düşämbe

monday, monday, so good to me
monday mornin', it was all i hoped it would be
oh monday mornin', monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
that monday evenin' you would still be here with me

monday, monday, can't trust that day
monday, monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
oh monday mornin', you gave me no warnin' of what was to be
oh monday, monday, how could you leave and not take me

every other day, every other day,
every other day of the week is fine, yeah
but whenever monday comes, but whenever monday comes
you can find me cryin' all of the time