uzhasnyj

and now, because i can
some dead baby jokes
[mostly because i'm a horrible person]:


how do keep a baby from crawling in a circle?
nail its other hand to the floor

how do you make a baby float?
take your foot off its head

whats blue, red, and crawling up your leg?
an aborted baby trying to go home

whats worse than a baby?
a dead baby
whats worse than a dead baby?
a pile of dead babies
whats worse than a pile of dead babies?
a pile of dead babies with a live baby underneath
whats worse than a pile of dead babies with a live baby underneath?
a pile of dead babies with a live baby underneath eating its way out

what 11 inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night?
a sids baby

how are babies and popcorn alike?
they both pop if they're microwaved long enough

what's funnier than a dead baby?
a dead baby in clown costume

whats brown and gurgles?
a baby casserole

how can you keep a baby from falling down a manhole?
shove a javelin through its head

how many babies does it take to paint a barn?
depends on how hard you throw them

how do you fit ten babies in a glass?
put them in the blender

why do you unload a truckful of dead babies with a pitchfork?
so you can tell which ones are still alive

hymn

i know it seems cliché
but i could honestly give a damn

i'll probly always feel the need to say something
it may not be much, it may not be meaningful
but i still feel like i should say something
it's not something any of us will be able to forget, yeah?
our parents have those moments
so do our grandparents
our children will someday too, its how it goes
i'd love to forget it someday, but i won't
neither will anyone else
so i guess all i can say is remember it
because if we forget, we'll make the same mistakes
and it'll happen again, but it'll be much worse
here's hoping

in memoriam, victims of september 11, 2001
спасение соделал еси посреде земли, боже. аллилуия.