fionnúir

it's 6`30 in the morning, and the only emotion i feel is hunger
which is quite a feat,
considering i spent the entire weekend puking my guts out
and i do mean that literally
i managed to reach a point, about 12 hours into pure, abject sickness,
where i truly had nothing left in my body to vomit
it was quite the experience

tonight's batch of homework was noteworthy,
in the sense that, for the first time in at least two months,
i haven't been fist–shakingly angry by the time i finished
i believe it's the calming influence of rise against
perhaps, when the two are tackled in tandem,
they result in a perfectly harmonious, productive coupling
[well, not perfectly, but relatively close]
i'll have to keep that in mind when i write my essay sometime tomorrow

a true testament to the delirium under which i'm currently operating
not twenty minutes ago, i was trying to figure out what a word meant
my russian prof had spelled it wrong [surprise, surprise],
so i was left trying to guess at the right spelling
thankfully, i have a handy online dictionary for that
a handy online dictionary that offers spelling suggestions when you fuck up
so i finally found the word, in its perfective form
then, i see what its perfective form is:
соскакивать [pronounced 'sauce–COCK–ih-vuhts]
i laughed so hard i couldn't breathe for a solid minute and a half
it was truly the highlight of my morning

it's been raining pretty steadily for about the past twelve hours here,
though it's slowly increased over the past hour or so
which i found out when i got ready to leave the library
normally, when i go galavanting around in the rain,
i do so with as close to unmitigated joy as you'll ever get from me
this morning, though, it was rather mitigated
due to the fact that i had my laptop in my backpack
backpack–lugging tends to dampen the effects of rain on my mood
[not to put too fine a pun on it]

i saw the score from the msu–green bay women's game last night,
and was rather surprised
i would've imagined the women's team to go farther than the second round
the post–season has not been kind to big–name msu athletics this school year
they just can't seem to catch a break
now that i think about it, of the two sports i do watch regularly
[college/pro fooball and men's/women's college basketball],
none of the teams i've picked to go far [or win it all] have
they've all fallen by the wayside at some point before the season is over
that doesn't bode well, especially for my true favorite team
now is not the time to let me down, uconn huskies
you already failed me in the fiesta bowl this year,
don't fail me in the ncaa tournament


and now for a short commercial break [so i can go get food]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk9oa_PiXAk
we now return to your regularly–scheduled ramblings,
all ready in progress


i'm not particularly sure when it started,
but i've started reading the freep a couple times a week
especially on tuesdays/thursdays, when i have my early class
i don't really have a reason why,
especially considering that there are better newspapers out there
[but, unfortunately, none that i have free access to
it's either that, the state news, usatoday, and/or the new york times
i'll be damned if i stoop so low as to read the times,
usatoday really just sucks (aside from their daily puzzles,
and the state news is just campus/city news usually]
i dunno, there just seems to be something right about sitting down,
getting some food, drinking a cup of tea, and reading the paper
maybe it's cuz i'm secretly a 40 year old man inside,
but it's one of those things i just seem to enjoy

also, i just realized something:
this is my first non–lyric post in a month [not to the day, unfortunately]
i'm not sure what i should think about that
on one hand, it's mostly good music, so there's no real loss
on the other, that gets really boring and stupid after a while
i probly shouldn't do it again
but i can guarantee i will

i don't know why,
i'm not sure what prompted it,
i don't even know where it came from
but i just had the insanely strong urge to watch the 'i'm on a boat' video
somewhere, somehow brombrom just started laughing,
and he's not sure why

addendum:
after looking back at it, and thinking about it for a good 30 seconsds,
i think 'it's 6`30 in the morning, and the only emotion i feel is hunger'
may in fact be the best opening line i've ever written on anything, ever
thoughts?

dümìnica

on a sunday i'll think it though
on the drive back, i'll think it through
what you wish for won't come true
live with that

and on a sunday she thought it through
now as i drive back, there's thirty–six less hours
i have to change the course i send myself
live with that

on a sunday, go once around
because when the ride's done, the hopes that you have carried,
they fall out from your hands back to the ground
live with that

learn as the drugs leave
learn as you lose it
you will

the haze clears from your eyes on a sunday

dy' sadorn

saturday, what a day, what a silly little day
time to kill, take a pill, as i sit and contemplate
how i'd like to be around all the people in the town
with their fancy cars and things
but i, i've got time

in the haste, in the grace, i've been up to my waist
it isn't real what you feel when you find love in a chase
i've been waiting for the day when someone takes me away
and i never get replaced
but i've got time

as i sink, one more drink, i am running out of ink
feeling void, paranoid about every little thing
and i wonder if i try to get up and say goodbye
if i'll have the strength to leave
cuz i don't have much time anymore

stop pushin' all your tragedies away
each moment has got a lesson for the day
take something with you if you drag your heels in yesterdays
oh, these saturdays

di-haoine

i want to believe in myself once again
so i dream of a man whose hopes never end
to kiss with a girl who's as lovely as you
i'd give you my heart if you gave me the truth

and for every tear that is lost from an eye,
i'd dig me a well where no man could destroy
i want to believe in a freedom that's bold
but all i remember is the freedom of old

well i lost me a wife, so i found me a plane
flew all the way to california
this mess in my head is a mess getting out
you drink too much coffee, i drink too much stout

but after a while, when my mouth ain't so dry
i'll dance up a storm, sure life's looking fine
but as darkness falls i return to my bed
don't ask me more questions, don't fuck with my head

the buildings they shake, but my heart it beats still
oh mother of jesus, i feel pretty ill
i want to go home where my feet both feel safe
but there ain't no jobs in the old free state

so i must remain in my new adopted land
i'm doing the best, hell i'm doin' all i can
so the next time you see me, don't ask for my name
for i am the kind and sure long may i reign

i've been down in this world, down and almost broken
like thousands of people, left standing in their shoe
i've been down in this world, down and almost broken
as thousands they grieve as the black friday rule

dunnaschda

all of my life i've tried so hard
doing my best with what i had
nothing much happened all the same

something about me stood apart
a whisper of hope that seemed to fail
maybe i'm born right out of my time
breaking my life in two

sometimes i cried my heart to sleep
shuffling days and lonesome nights
sometimes my courage fell to my feet

lucky old sun is in my sky
nothing prepared me for your smile
lighting the darkness of my soul
innocence in your arms

throw me tomorrow,
now that i've really got a chance
throw me tomorrow,
everything's falling into place
throw me tomorrow
seeing my past to let it go
throw me tomorrow
only for you i don't regret
that i was thursday's child

monday, tuesday, wednesday, born i was
monday, tuesday, wednesday, born i was
thursday's child

dimècres

it happens only in the day time,
she looks to me and says
but it's only in the night time, oh
she pulls me closer to her body so i can hear

out of knowledge in a way
from passing through her head
as it spins out of life and time
she keeps on trying to fight the evil in her mind

there's a kink and then a scream
but it's only in her dream
i look around and it's you, oh
i can't believe it's only wednesday
and she can't see that everyone is there except for me
i  know i don't want to lose this time

and she looks to me,
but she can't even believe it
but i don't want to lose this time

dinnßdaach

i can hear this silence crawl around
hello you thinkers, hello you fakers
and i see the summer drown you dry
hello you lovers, hello you dreamers

when i feel so insecure
i will need you, turn around

i can feel this sadness drag you down
hello you talkers, hello you sleepers
and i see this madness close your eyes
hello mistreaters, hello you weepers

when i feel so insecure
grace my day, please stay around

there's no one left to decide who is right or wrong
waiting's not enough for you
wasting what i want the most
tuesday's gone and i'm tasting it over
let me reside with the same old view
sharing's all i need from you
taking what i want the most
tuesday's near, and i wish that you were here

if this comfort holds you down,
i would gladly pull you out

it's a heavy
[keep, keep, keep me awake somehow]
now

düşämbe

monday, monday, so good to me
monday mornin', it was all i hoped it would be
oh monday mornin', monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
that monday evenin' you would still be here with me

monday, monday, can't trust that day
monday, monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
oh monday mornin', you gave me no warnin' of what was to be
oh monday, monday, how could you leave and not take me

every other day, every other day,
every other day of the week is fine, yeah
but whenever monday comes, but whenever monday comes
you can find me cryin' all of the time

indvendig

сон
странный сон
я вижу отражение себя

столько лет
во мне
все слова

во мне
тишина

снова дождь
стучит свои признания луне

этот дождь
наверное не знает обо мне

во мне
корабли
во мне
города
во мне
вся любовь
во мне
всё что есть

くろづる

мне кажется порою, что солдаты,
с кровавых не пришедшие полей,
не в землю нашу полегли когда–то,
а превратились в белых журавлей.

они до сей поры с времён тех дальних,
летят и подают нам голоса,
не потому ль так часто и печально,
мы замолкаем, глядя в небеса?

летит, летит по небу клин усталый,
летит в тумане на исходе дня,
и в том строю есть промежуток малый,
быть может, это место для меня.

настанет день, и с журавлиной стаей,
я поплыву в такой же сизой мгле,
из–под небес по–птичьи окликая,
всех вас, кого оставил на земле.

stfa

easily the funniest thing i've heard all day:

'Roger Sherman is the Pete Best of the Founding Fathers,
in that he "also" served on the committee that drafted the Declaration of Independence.'

if you laughed as hard as i did at that,
then you are truly a nerd
congrats

brooke marine

no, i'm not

üzüntü

circle of sorrow, let me come in
your secret affair was whispered in there
don't charge me a fare to go back home
it's familiar to me, i'll go it alone

don't try to walk me, but lead me and see
my will is strong, but my heart is weak
hide in the shadows, i'll find you there
fall from the heavens, and i'll catch you in the air

and you'll find a home with me
oh, you'll find a home, with me

hide in the shadows, i'll find you there
fall from the heavens, i'll find you in the air
wait by the river that flows to the sea
swim in the water, that brought you home to me

and, you'll find a home, with me
you'll find a home, with me

circle of sorrow, let me come in
your secret affair was whispering there
don't charge any money to go back home
it's familiar to me, i'll go it alone

but you'll find a home here with me
i said you'll find a home, with me

wait by the river that flows to the sea
oh, swim in the water that brought you home to me
hide in the shadows, i'll find you there
fall from the heavens, and i'll catch you in the air

oh you'll find a home with me
you'll find a home, right here with me

sées

i had one of my best experiences at college yesterday
no, seryusly
SERYUSLY

i got a text around noon–thirty sunday afternoon
asking if i wanted tickets to the women's basketball game
being the women's bball fan i am,
i immediately said yes and took the offer
but holy shit did i have no idea what i was in for

the reason i got them is thus:
rha does a housing bash/signup/thing every year called 'rock the block'
and they have a raffle they do every year at said bash/signup/thing
you sign up for housing, you get entered
apparently this year's prize was free tickets to the women's bball game
but, because rha took too much time telling people about it,
no one came to pick them up
one of my friends happens to be a deskie who works in abbot
and, seeing that there were multiple tickets available,
asked if they would be available if no one claimed them
they were, so she grabbed a couple and invited some people
i happened to be one of the lucky few

turns out, they weren't just game tickets
they were tickets for box seats
in one of the two boxes available at breslin
[apparently the other one is usually taken by lupe izzo]
so i got to watch the game like this [though slightly more to the left]
which was pretty fucking cool
not only did we get to sit in the luxury suite,
we were fucking CATERED. FOR. FREE
we got anything to have anything they offered
and believe you me, it was pretty damn good food

in addition to that,
it was free tshirt day for students
so i got me a shirt that says 'BEAT PURDUE' on it
and, because students like looking for free stuff,
we found basketball posters in one of the drawers of the kitchenette
so i now have a women's bball poster hanging in my room

the best part of all?
the ladies very thoroughly handled purdue, 76–57
with that, they move up #2 in the big ten
and #11 in the country
hopefully, if they keep playing like they have
[and if the men can't pull themselves together]
and make a strong run through the ncaa tourney,
these women will actually get sold–out home crowds
and the credit they deserve
cuz hot damn, they are good
maybe someday i'll get to see them play uconn
and with that fantasy, i'll stop


ADDENDUM:
i saw this on stumbleupon,
and laughed too hard not to share this:
"As a homosexual MLIAer, can I just say—
stop calling Edward Cullen gay.
We don't want him either. MLIA."

penny sit–up

a moderate collection of thoughts:

people are freaking the fuck out over this blizzard,
and i think it's hilarious
this is the shit we live for, people!
this is what living in the midwest is about
absurd amounts of snow, wind, and cold
just be grateful that msu gave us a snow day

[ADDENDUM:
i saw a national guard helicopter fly over on my way back from qd
shit just got serious]

i really lucked out with my choice of classes this semester
after realizing that geology class wasn't for me,
i managed to pick an entomology class with a great prof
go figure
now if only i could get rid of these damn nat/sci requirements,
i'd be all set

i'm debating which video game i should stay up all night playing
current slate:
–grand theft auto III
–killzone
–king kong
–max payne
thoughts?

as much as i enjoy doing graphic design,
i don't think i could ever do it for a living
i'm not nearly creative/artistic enough for this shit
thankfully most of my stuff doesn't look bad
but it doesn't look great either
at least i'm getting a little better at it

i bought a six–pack last night to drink throughout the week
and, by coincidence, also have an unopened box of cheerios
what does this mean?
tonight, i'm having beerios