DEЯ MAHDI

dominium eminens

2012-01-20T14:28:00.002-05:00

today, at long last, is the day i talk about my thesis.
just under a year after i decided to undertake my final project,
it's completed, graded, and i've graduated.
and i've decided to give you lot the chance to hear about it one last time.

let me say this at the outset:
i'm putting my thesis on this blog post by including it as a downloadable link.
there would be no point in talking about it if i didn't let you read it for yourself.
even though i've included a copyright on every page to avoid it being stolen/plagiarized,
i'm placing no restrictions on who can link to it, distribute it, or post it elsewhere,
so long as i am properly credited, and this post is directly linked to [if applicable].
i do this not to be egotistical and demand credit at every turn,
but so comments, criticism, feedback, &c can go directly to me,
as well as providing proof that i gave permission to freely distribute it.
i have no problem with my thesis finding its way through the vast and magical interwubs,
i just want to make sure everyone knows who and where it came from.
as such,
i hereby grant written permission for my thesis,
"chicken littleisms: kelo v. city new london and the meaning of 'public use',
to be freely distributed on the internet, provided proper credit and links are given.

with that out of the way, let's get to it.
buckle up, it's gonna be a long post.

i suppose i owe you more than a few words on my thesis,
but, in the interest of both space and getting you to read it,
i'll give you the basic rundown of it.

in 1997, new london, ct, which had been suffering an economic downturn,
was informed of pfizer pharmaceutical's interest in building a new research hq.
they lobbied hard and got pfizer to announce plans to build it in fort trumbull,
one of new london's small waterfront neighborhoods.
trouble was, the area around the pfizer site was rather destitute.
in addition to pfizer remediating the site they'd ultimately use,
they asked the city to rejuvenate some of the surrounding land.
since said land contained rundown buildings, business, and a residential neighborhood,
the city needed a plan for how it would go about fixing up the neighborhood,
and it turned to its newly–restarted development corporation to create one.
the nldc drafted a thorough plan to rejuvenate the neighborhood
[the municipal development plan, or mdp],
and it was approved by the city council in february 2000.
the plan revolved around the use of eminent domain:
by using eminent domain to acquire all the land in the fort trumbull neighborhood,
they could then demolish all the businesses and residences.
this would allow them to build businesses and accommodations near the fort instead,
complementing pfizer and creating a smaller business district south of downtown.

the way new london was able to use eminent domain came down to interpretation.
eminent domain's power comes from the 5th amendment's takings clause
['...nor shall private propery be taken for public use, without just compensation],
and in connecticut, 'public use' has been consistently been interpreted broadly,
incorporating many different definitions of 'use' by the public.
thus, in ct, it is legal to use eminent domain for economic redevelopment,
since the economic benefits of doing so have been deemed of public use.
so, new london used eminent domain in that way to reinvigorate its economy,
and provide public use by way of jobs, increased tax revenue, and strengthened economy.
understandably, that mindset didn't sit well with the fort trumbull residents,
and they began protesting the mdp and the nldc's use of eminent domain.
their protests grew in scope and publicity,
and they eventually partnered with the institute for justice,
a washington d.c. law firm specializing in libertarian issues.
the fight revolved around whether nldc's use of eminent domain was valid,
and ij ultimately filed suit against the city on behalf of eleven residents.

the case [kelo v. city of new london] started in the ct superior court,
where the judge decided that eminent domain for economic redevelopment was valid,
but only in some parts of nldc's plan, and not others.
both sides appealed to the ct supreme court,
which ruled that the city's use of eminent domain was valid across the board.
ij again appealed the csc ruling to the us supreme court,
where the csc ruling was upheld, to much publicity and press coverage.
that ruling sparked a spree of litigation across the country to address eminent domain,
which has continued to this day.

what i argue is that much of the reaction to kelo is misguided and misinformed.
while i respect and acknowledge various interpretations of the takings clause,
many who protest kelo do not.
critics, pundits, and lawyers have skewed and misrepresented kelo consistently
and have allowed it to become a big–government bogeyman,
convincing people that the government can wantonly take your home for any reason,
or, scarier yet, for no reason at all.
i believe that there are far too many uninformed voices screeching about kelo,
and i wanted to provide a thoughtful, measured, factual account of the case and its origin.
the only way to understand the case is by understanding the city and the people,
the circumstances surrounding the mdp, the lawsuit,
and most importantly, the 5th amendment and the meaning of 'public use'.
not only did i want people to know how kelo came about and why,
i also wanted them to know what the kelo ruling does and doesn't mean.

hyperbole and parroted information can only get us so far.
at some point someone has to tell the truth in an honest and concise way,
and that's what i set out to do.
i know this case seems like an obscure topic to write about,
but it's come to mean a lot to me,
and hopefully will mean something to you to once you've finished reading it.
i'm sure there are at least some who are wondering how i chose this in the first place,
so, as follow up, the story of how i came to write this.

a little over a year ago,
the time had arrived for me to pick a topic for my senior honors thesis.
my thesis would be required to graduate from the honors college,
and i needed to pick a topic i could write at least 50 pages on.
considering that my longest paper to that point had been only 20 pages
[my interesting–yet–maddening paper on norway and denmark during wwII],
i needed something i knew i would like, be passionate about, and stick with.
i'd had a number of ideas float through my head,
from something russian history related, to something about the progressive era,
to something regarding the state of the labor movement
[i was fresh off my labor studies internship in new york at the time].
after meeting with my honors advisor and talking to her about it,
she recommended i meet with dr fine, a professor i'd never met.
dr fine was an american/labor/women's history prof,
and we briefly fleshed out possible topics i could write about.
i kept having nagging doubts about the themes we were hitting on,
and knew that if i wasn't vested in what i was writing about,
it would be half–assed and boring.
after a few meeting with her and dr moch,
a recurring topic kept popping into my head: my hometown.
i could write something about the history of where i'm from,
and it was then that i realized:
i should write about kelo.

kelo was something i'd known about all my life, but knew little about.
i knew my mom had worked at nldc, the corporation at the heart of the case,
and that my dad had worked, for a time, at the pfizer complex near fort trumbull.
i also knew that the case was near–infamous and usually misconstrued.
i did a little light research into the case,
and the only articles i could find on it were from legal journals and publications,
the same went for books: almost solely published by legal groups and law scholars
[with the exception of one or two questionable non–fiction books].
i knew that primary research was the focal point of the thesis requirement,
since their goal is to make academics out of us,
and decided that there was no better topic to write about:
there was no historical literature on kelo, very few popular writings,
and none of them seemed to put all the pieces of the case together.
i'd found the perfect topic.

once i'd decided on kelo and figured out what i was gonna write about,
i was faced with an unfortunate realization:
i knew jack shit about eminent domain.
before i could even conceive of writing anything about kelo,
i first had to figure out what in the hell the basics of eminent domain were.
so, for a full three weeks over the summer,
i spent my time in the law library with a 2 foot high stack of legal texts.
much to my surprise, i found the topic both interesting and easy to pick up on,
which made my transition from federal to connecticut law that much easier.
of all the things i'm grateful for concerning this thesis,
i'm most grateful that i was genuinely interested in the legal aspect of it.
if i'd found eminent domain law boring and dry and imcomprehensible,
there's a decent chance i would've changed topics about six months ago.

after i'd slogged through about 5000 pages worth of legal text
[i promise you that is not an overstatement
i read 3 books that were 1000+ pages, and four that were between 400–700 pages],
and as i started reading primary and secondary sources about kelo,
i was again faced with a rather stark reality:
virtually all of my sources were one–sided.
they almost all took up arms against the city and against the kelo ruling.
there was very little diversity in their opinions,
and there was a metric shit–tonne of rhetoric and biased sprinkled into their writings.
the books and articles all became one angry haze after another,
and took none of the context or circumstances of the case into consideration.
i was basically reading publication after publication lambast my hometown,
and i was staggered by it.
i had never known new london to be as egregious and uncaring as it was portrayed,
and i refused to believe that the city was flagrantly abusive and willfully acting illegally,
at least not without concrete and indisputable proof.
and so it was that i changed my focus and goal:
i wasn't simply going to explain the case as a legal decision,
i was going to tell the story of new london, fort trumbull,
and explain what happened leading up to the decision to use eminent domain.
it wasn't enough to explain what eminent domain was and how it was legal:
i had to show what new london was like, what it had gone through,
what the people of fort trumbull were like, what they had gone through,
and how the city planned to change its waterfront.
so much for struggling to figure out how to write 50 pages.

writing my thesis was by far one of the biggest challenges i've ever faced.
first off, how do you even tackle something that massive?
i knew it would take lots of organization and planning,
but that means nothing when you're staring at a blank word document,
completely at a loss on how to begin.
i had no idea how to do justice to everything that was involved with this project,
and constantly struggled with how to be fair to everyone involved.
i couldn't victimize or demonize the residents of fort trumbull,
any more than i could demonize or apologize for the city.
objectivity is a tricky thing to utilize.
you have have to be detached, appraising, and not take anything for granted,
but you can't let yourself dehumanize people or circumstances.
you have to give all the facts, but not skew them for others,
and you have to present both sides of the argument, while taking only one side.
no matter what anyone else says,
that is the single most difficult thing to achieve in writing.
i won't lie to you and say i achieved optimal objectivity when writing this,
because, after all, i'm human like the rest of you,
but i strove for it nonetheless.
i know i haven't managed to eliminate bias from it
[and, truthfully, you could argue that i wouldn't be able to,
considering where my parents worked],
but i did my damnedest to be factual and honest about kelo.
i did my diligence in researching the hell out of my topic,
and did as much as i could for a student with limited resources.

for a while now i've been unsure what to do with my thesis.
should i try publishing it? should i try to make it into a book?
i didn't want the last eight months to ultimately result in nothing
[and by nothing i mean sitting in a library surrounded by other theses not being read],
so i decided that the best thing to do would be to publish it myself [so to speak].
it's a good paper that tells an important story and provides important information,
and it would be selfish and stupid to keep it to myself.
i hope that at least some of find this thesis informative and interesting,
and that it helps change at least a few preconceived notions.
or, at the very least, makes you think.

okay, rambling over. please read my thesis and pass it along. kthnxbai.

namnlösa

2012-01-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

i was born in a big gray cloud screamin' out a love song
all the broken chords and unnamed cries, what a place to come from
i wish to remain nameless and live without shame
cuz what's in a name? oh, i still remain the same

you can call it what you want, you can call me anything you want

everybody lets you down in this brief hole of a town
what a difference of the rushing out, tell me what you're running from
i know everybody lets you down, i'll do the same
but know i'll always be around, this can remain the same

call me when you need me, call me anything you want
darling, believe me, nothing i haven't done before

ströddes

2012-01-16T13:21:00.000-05:00

been climbing trees, i've skinned my knees
my hands are black, the sun is going down
she scruffs my hair in the kitchen steam
she's listening to the dream i weaved today

crosswords through the bathroom door,
while someone sings the theme tune to the news
and my sister buzzes through the room,
leaving perfume in the air
and that's what's triggered this

a high–back chair, he sits and stares,
a thousand yards and whistles marching band
kneeling by and speaking up,
he reaches out and i take a massive hand

disjointed tales that flit between
short trousers and a full dress uniform,
and he talks of people ten years gone
like i've known them all my life,
like scattered black and whites

i come back here from time to time,
i shelter here somedays

tân yn llŷn

2012-01-14T03:36:00.002-05:00

it's been a while since i've posted twice in twelve hours,
and i actually don't remember the last time i did so
though i'm sure a quick scroll through my archive would tell me,
i'm too lazy/apathetic to actually bother looking
mostly cuz it's all the way on another tab
WHO HAS THE ENERGY FOR THIS SHIT?

[a quick interlude, because this is too priceless not to share
as i'm talking with a friend of mine online, this little gem comes my way:
"i listened to judy and watched jackass at the same time.
most peculiar experience - it's the one where ryan dunn stick the car up his ass"
i really hope 'the man that got away' was playing during that particular stunt]

i had a really long phone conversation tonight with a friend of mine,
we were actually talking long enough for me to get slightly hoarse
[which is why i'm now enjoying a delicious cup of tea]
i have to say, i enjoyed it more than i thought i would
i'm normally not a fan of phone conversations being longer than they have to be,
but it was nice to just have a long, free–wandering conversation,
talking about our worries, motivations, our accomplishments, current state of affairs
i'm glad i'm not as insane as i keep fearing i am
there isn't a particular reason i'm sharing this,
nor i am building up for a tantalizing and shocking revelation,
it's just a thought that sounded better in my head than it looks in type
but there's no real point in deleting it,
so instead i'll just keep rambling until i get to something else

this may not be interesting, but it is on a different topic:
the delightfully folksy tale of how ian mcshane got me to reread 'wicked'
so this christmas i was gifted with a metric shit–tonne of dvds
[a friend of mine recently got a blu–ray player and is steadily replacing his collection]
one of the dvds i got was the miniseries 'the pillars of the earth'
[which, by the way, is fucking awesome and incredibly riveting]
i wasn't initially that interested in it,
but i gave it a shot because ian mcshane is in it, along with a few others
[i've loved ian mcshane ever since i first watched deadwood]
so i watched it, and ended up almost marathoning all 8 hours of it
and then resolved to read the book its based on
so i went up to the mount's pitifully–stocked library hoping to get lucky,
and of course its checked out [though the fact that they had it is a small miracle]
so while i was perusing the shelfs for something vaguely interesting to read,
i found out quite by surprise that gregory maguire wrote a fourth 'wicked' book
i didn't even know he was planning to write a fourth one,
let alone that it had been out for damn near two months
so, since my life has lately consisted of applying for jobs and watching espn,
i figured i'd reread the series in one go and finally get around to reading the third book
[which i've had since christmas 2008, the year it was published]
it's less exciting than you probly imagined,
but considering that i like in the boring, rednecky asshole of genesee county
[itself the boring, rednecky asshole of michigan,
which in turn the boring, rednecky asshole of america]
that's about as exciting an adventure as one can have here

[for the record, while the mount may be the boring, redneck asshole of the county,
flint is the hellish, post–apocalyptic eye of the shit hurricane
a nightmarish vortex from which there is no return]

as much as i really, REALLY, want to,
i'm not going to go off on a psychotic rant about the average gander's aversion to winter
because really, what's the point?
people i know keep having the same fucking reaction every year,
so instead of complaining about it, i'm going to offer a little bit of insight
hopefully it'll make their eternally–suffering lives better:
michigan has winter
winter comes every year at the same time
every winter is roughly the same: cold, windy, wet, snowy, and icy
occasionally there's lots of snow, sometimes there's not that much
but it's always cold, always wind, and always icy
winter has come every single year you've been alive,
and will continue until some sort of catastrophic climate event prevents it
thus, i recommend you stock up on whatever you need to,
in order to best prepare yourself for the calamity that is winter
if you're prone to being cold, buy warmer clothes and/or put on more layers
if you don't care for the wind, wear a scarf and a hooded coat
if the ice befuddles you, buy ice melter and sand
and if you don't like the snow, shut the fuck up and move somewhere else
those are the most practical ways to survive winter in michigan,
a winter that is both harsh and perennial
now that you are no longer caught off guard by its inevitable coming,
hopefully next year will be less complainy and more proactive
thus concludes my newest blog segment,
"SHUTTHEFUCKUPGODIEINAFIREYOUSTUPIDPRICK"

now that i've exorcised that particular dæmon,
let's wax philosophic for a moment:
what is it about winter that causes such anguish among the average gander?
seriously, i don't get it
winter comes every fucking year, like clockwork
it's always a bit harsh and is always treacherous
why is it a constant source of complaint and whining for people who live here?
are they living in some sort of victimized delusion,
where they are plagued with snow for their sins and transgressions?
do they think if they wish really hard that winter won't come this year?
or is it simply trendy and socially acceptable to bitch about it online,
and that is their only collective chance to fit in and go with the flow?
elucidation completely eludes me on this one
thoughts?

in other news,
i just realized i apparently don't take notice of anniversaries anymore,
and i think that's for the best
that probly makes no sense to any of you [hopefully, at least]
but take my word for it that it's for the better

on that oddly–cryptic–yet–heartening note,
i promise that i'm done putting off my thesis post
[which was incidental, not intentional
not that any of you are interested in eminent domain at all]
i'll probly get around to it in the next few days
and i promise that i'll blog more if one of you will hire me
and i'll blog about everything and anything you want
kthnxbai? kthnxbai

ADDENDUM
after going back over this,
i realized it reads like i'm either drunk, high, or both
i promise you that i was neither,
mostly i was just tired and insomnia–laden [as is often the case]

colloquy

2012-01-13T17:00:00.000-05:00

i was looking for something to read the other day,
mostly because i miss reading for my own enjoyment,
and i came across a book of short stories by shirley jackson
many of you may know her for the story 'the lottery',
which is a wonderful and intriguing story in its own right,
but i love her for a different reason:
she is the author of hands–down my favorite short story ever
and because i am in a generous mood, i'm sharing it with you
"Colloquy", Shirley Jackson, ©1944, The New Yorker

The doctor was competent-looking and respectable. Mrs Arnold felt vaguely comforted by his appearance, and her agitation lessened a little. She knew that he noticed her hand shaking when she leaned forward for him to light her cigarette, and she smiled apologetically, but he looked back at her seriously.

“You seem to be upset,” he said gravely.

“I’m very upset,” Mrs Arnold said. She tried to talk slowly and intelligently. “That’s one reason I came to you instead of going to Doctor Murphy—our regular doctor, that is.”

The doctor frowned slightly. “My husband,” Mrs Arnold went on. “I don’t want him to know that I’m worried, and Doctor Murphy would probably feel it was necessary to tell him.” The doctor nodded, not committing himself, Mrs Arnold noted.

“What seems to be the trouble?”

Mrs Arnold took a deep breath. “Doctor,” she said, “how do people tell if they’re going crazy?”

The doctor looked up.

“Isn’t that silly,” Mrs Arnold said, “I hadn’t meant to say it like that. It’s hard enough to explain anyway, without making it so dramatic.”

“Insanity is more complicated than you think,” the doctor said.

“I know it’s complicated,” Mrs Arnold said. “That’s the only think I’m really sure of. Insanity is one of those things I mean.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“That’s my trouble, Doctor.” Mrs Arnold sat back and took her gloves out from under her pocketbook and put them carefully on top. Then she took them and put them underneath the pocketbook again.

“Suppose you just tell me all about it,” the doctor said.

Mrs Arnold sighed. “Everyone else seems to understand,” she said, “and I don’t. Look.” She leaned forward and gestured with one hand while she spoke. “I don’t understand the way people live. It all used to be so simple. When I was a little girl I used to live in a world where a lot of other people lived too and they all lived together and things went along like that with no fuss.” She looked at the doctor. He was frowning again, and Mrs Arnold went on, her voice rising slightly. “Look. Yesterday morning my husband stopped on his way to his office to buy a paper. He always buys the Times and he always buys it from the same dealer, and yesterday the dealer didn’t have a Times for my husband and last night when he came home for dinner he said the fish was burned and the dessert was too sweet and he sat around all evening talking to himself.”

“He could have tried to get it at another dealer,” the doctor said. “Very often dealers downtown have papers later than local dealers.”

“No,” Mrs Arnold said, slowly and distinctly, “I guess I’d better start over. When I was a little girl—” she said. Then she stopped. “Look,” she said, “did there use to be words like psychosomatic medicine? Or international cartels? Or bureaucratic centralization?”

“Well,” the doctor began.

“What do they mean?” Mrs Arnold insisted.

“In a period of international crisis,” the doctor said gently, “when you find, for instance, cultural patterns rapidly disintegrating…”

“International crisis,” Mrs Arnold said. “Patterns.” She began to cry quietly. “He said the man had no right not to save him a Times,” she said hysterically, fumbling in her pocket for a handkerchief, “and he started talking about social planning on the local level and surtax net income and geopolitical concepts and deflationary inflation.” Mrs Arnold’s voice rose to a wail. “He really said deflationary inflation.”

“Mrs Arnold,” the doctor said, coming around the desk, “we’re not going to help things any this way.”

“What is going to help?” Mrs Arnold said. “Is everyone really crazy but me?”

“Mrs Arnold,” the doctor said severely, “I want you to get a hold of yourself. In a disoriented world like ours today, alienation from reality frequently—”

“Disoriented,” Mrs Arnold said. She stood up. “Alienation,” she said. “Reality.” Before the doctor could stop her she walked to the door and opened it. “Reality,” she said, and went out.

meritxell

2012-01-11T05:02:00.000-05:00

blogablogablogaOH LOOK I'M BACK
actually, that's a bit of a fallacy, since i never went away
i was merely attending to more important thing, such as
–my goddamn sanity
–my thesis [revisions and I SHOULD PUT IN A MAP OR FIFTY HARGHLBLARGH]
–re–moving into my house
–watching goddamn football
–doing productive things

and for those of you who have had to suffer through listening to me yammer about it,
yes, my thesis is done and turned in and graded and all that jazz
for those of you who give a shit, or those of you with my kind of crazy,
[namely those who find this shit interesting as well]
my next post will be all about it
so we'll just leave that particular topic be for now

what we will get back to is football,
because the college football season is officially over now
after that riveting national championship game [SARCASM],
my precious bowl season is over and i must again bid adieu to that truest of sports,
young men beating the piss out of each other, fully funded by institutes of higher learning
life is good, no?
since i continued my ever–foolish trend of making predictions,
let's look back over them shall we?

first off all, i'm proud to say i finished the bowl season with a winning record
8–5, a .615 percentage, which isn't too bad
especially considering my great showing last year and my dismal picks from two years ago
and since i didn't embarrass myself in the futuresight department,
let's take a gander at some of my finer and more idiotic predictions:

boise state 56, arizona state 24 [picked boise]. this one was out of reach in 14 seconds [very literally], and arizona state never even came close. it was [at that point] the highest scoring bowl game and the most lopsided, but that was to be expected. boise was a powerhouse, asu was a cripple, and sometimes things just go the way they're supposed to.
southern miss 24, nevada 17 [picked southern miss]. this game was just odd. not that there was anything particularly wrong with it, it was just felt weird. maybe because it was two teams that should have been better this season and inexplicably weren't, i dunno. at any rate, even though it didn't look it initially, i did pick the winner. so there's that.
nc state 31, louisville 24 [picked nc state]. this game nearly had me for the fool. i knew nc state was gonna bring it, because i watched them take down clemson in a brutally efficient way, but i had no idea louisville was gonna play as well or as spirited as they did. this was one of the more evenly matched bowl games this season, and definitely one of the more exciting to watch. if louisville hadn't been intercepted with 52 seconds to go, they very easily could've finished their comeback and tied the game. thankfully for my record's sake, they didn't, and i started out 3–0.
florida state 18, notre dame 14 [picked fsu]. i felt like a goddamn fool just after halftime of this bowl. notre dame was up 14–0 and the 'noles looked like group of bumbling invalids. thankfully, in true florida state fashion, they rattled off a pair of touchdowns in the first two minutes of the 4th quarter, gave themselves a 4 point lead with a field goal, and finally showed tommy rees that no one pulls that comeback shit on jimbo fisher. nobody. except mike london, tom o'brien, and butch davis. NOBODY.
baylor 67, washington 56 [picked baylor]. christ on a crutch in january, i've never seen a game so perfectly epitomize the term 'basketball on grass'.washington's qb threw for 438 yards, baylor had three different 100+ yard rushers, they set an alamo bowl record for the most points scored in a half [59], broke the all–time bowl record for points scored in regulation [123], shattered the record total combined offense [1397], and featured the 2011 heisman winner [baylor's qb]. i was utterly blown away watching it. just after halftime, it looked like washington very literally would run away with the game [they were up 42–24], but like i prophecied, washington's defense was a goddamn train wreck. this was by far my most entertaining bowl pick, though not my favorite.
oklahoma 31, iowa 14 [picked iowa]. after flying high at 5–0 to start the bowl season, my first loss was a resounding thud of a pick. i was expecting iowa to play like they did against michigan and northwestern, not like they did against nebraska and msu. christ. i understand that they were missing a key offensive component in marcus coker [who just today left the program], but they still had their qb and their stud of a wideout. apparently that just wasn't enough, though. at any rate, iowa sucked, oklahoma played like they weren't overrated, and a skycam tried to behead marvin mcnutt. overall, just a boring game. [SARCASM]
texas a&m 33, northwestern 22 [picked a&m]. this pick was purely and simply a guess. i'd seen some of a&m's implosions over the course of the season [namely against arkansas and ok state], i'd watched northwestern slice their own achilles against army, michigan, and msu [see what i did there?] it was really a crapshoot, but every good series of picks needs a meaningless, could–go–either–way game, yeah? so this was mine. for the record, i took a&m because it was in texas, and i figured they'd want to do mike sherman proud.
auburn 43, virginia 24 [picked virginia]. my second 'GODDAMN IT' moment of the bowl season came after auburn scored three straight touchdowns in the 2nd quarter. how am i supposed to keep lambasting teams for being overrated and under–talented when they keep winning impressively? cocksucking bastards. at any rate, auburn came to play with a couple really nice trick plays and real motivation, while virginia came to do some other kind of... fuck, i dunno. insert something scathing and witty in there for me, would ya? i have nothing left to give.
houston 30, penn state 14 [picked houston]. this was my 'padding the stats' pick. as dearly as i love penn state football, i was well aware of their lackluster offense throughout the season. their defense really lived up to their name, but mcgloin/bolden couldn't do shit with any kind of consistency, even after mcgloin won himself the starter spot. so, with him sidelined due to a lockerroom–fight concussion, and the blonde bomber from houston prepping himself for another flawless performance, this one was a foregone conclusion. houston was gonna win this as easy as you please because they were plainly better.
msu 33, georgia 30 [picked msu]. even today, a full week after it was played, it delights me to no end to say that my msu pick was right. they proved that they were worthy of accolades and notoriety after coming back from a 16–0 deficit to take the lead, tie the game, and finally win it in overtime. georgia gave them a run for their money [three overtimes' worth], but they pulled it out and gave the B1G its sole win on january 2nd. but enough with that, watch this blocked kick one more time, and tell me it doesn't bring a smile to your face bigger than dantonio's
south carolina 30, nebraska 13 [picked nebraska]. after my elation at watching my team finally win in the postseason, after sitting at a glorious 8–2, the wheels came off my prediction bus. i knew what to expect out of south carolina [the team that beat both georgia and clemson this year], but i also knew what nebraska was capable of, or so i thought. apparently they just couldn't pull off another solid victory [like the ones they put up against msu, iowa, and ohio state]. so instead of becoming the B1G's twelth man to add parity, power, and respect, big red ends up giving them an extra bowl loss. what fun.
arkansas 29, k state 16 [picked k state]. the 2 of the 1–2 punch was this game. the whole thing made no sense: k state didn't play at all like they did during the season, and arkansas played exactly like they did during the season. the wildcats stout defense was porous, their qb was mediocre at best at passing and completely mitigated out of the pocket, and the rest of their offense was simply unproductive. GAH FOOTBALL Y U NO MAKE SENSE SOMETIMES?!
smu 28, pitt 6 [picked pitt]. the grand finale of my predictions was as bad a choice as i could make. pitt gave exactly zero reasons to be picked to win a bowl this season [see their back–to–back home losses to iowa and notre dame], and after having their coach bail on them in a positively randy edsall–esque showing, they were probly unhappy to not be done with their season. so basically i picked them because they're pitt and i love pittsburgh and i root for those teams whether i should or not.

what a rollercoaster of picks this year turned out to be
5 straight correct picks, 5 split picks, 3 straight losing picks
though i'm certainly glad to have not sucked at predictions,
i can only imagine what my numbers would look like had i not boycotted the bcs
i was pulling for both michigan and ok state in their respective games
i would very likely have picked west virginia over clemson
[more because i wanted clemson to lose more than i wanted them to win
and boy did they ever]
so that's three more wins right there
i honestly don't know who i would've picked in the rose bowl,
but i would likely have leaned towards wisconsin,
[more out of the need for the big ten to win a goddamn bowl game than anything else]
and i wouldn't have bothered with the ncg, because that was the farce of all farces
i may have boycotted the games,
but i did keep up with the gamecasts and see the highlight reels
man that game was a piece of shit
so shitty, in fact, it was the worst–rated bcs championship ever
game, set, and match bcs

since my beloved college football,
it's time to give most of my attention to pro football
though it'll be getting less of my attention from here on out,
thanks to a team that shall remain nameless [FUCK YOU, STILLERS]
i retain my overwhelming addiction to the sport,
but it's a little less fun when your team isn't in the playoffs anymore
on the plus side, i kinda know how falcons fans feel now
all those one–and–dones must get really tiring

once that's done,
my full attention will yet again return to the beauty that is college basketball
i've enjoyed watching msu and uconn's play this year [men's and women's]
and i'm getting all hot and bothered for conference tourneys to begin
they're still a long way off, but there's nothing wrong with looking forward
especially since on the other side of them is the championship tourney,
and past THAT is the sports winter known as 'baseball season',
during which i whimper and moan about there being no sports to watch,
and generally am somewhat unpleasant because of it
good thing that's not till mid–april, yes?
in other words, BRING IT, SUPERBOWL/MARCH MADNESS
i survived yet another bowl season, and now i'm coming for you

pluèja

2012-01-10T22:38:00.000-05:00

und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
ich denk im dunklen an dich, mein kind.
hoch sind die berge und tief ist das meer,
mein herz ist müd und sehnsuchtsschwer.
und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
warum bist du so fern, mein kind?

und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
gott selbst hat uns getrennt, mein kind.
du sollst nicht leid und elend sehn,
sollst nicht auf steinigen gassen gehn,
und der regen rinnt, und der regen rinnt,
hast du mich nicht vergessen, kind?

bowling

2011-12-28T16:34:00.000-05:00

shame of shames,
i haven't posted anything football related since bowl season started
and i call myself a football fanatic
i hope yinz can forgive me
[see what i did there?]

at any rate,
since the glorious and wonderful bowl season is upon us in full force,
i did my annual tradition of picking winners for bowl games i care about
and here in about a month of so,
i plan to continue that with my tradition of posting about how wrong i was
cuz where's the fun in predictions without lambasting your own stupid choices?

surprisingly enough, i'm off to a 3–0 start
i actually don't remember when i got off to that good of a start
the three games i picked up till now were:
–las vegas: boise state over asu [final: boise 56, asu 24]
–hawai'i: southern miss over nevada [final: usm 24, nevada 17]
–belk: nc state over louisville [final: ncsu 31, louisville 24]
admittedly, all three of those bowls weren't on most peoples' radar,
but that's half the fun of this shit: picking games you have no vested interest in
so now that i've gotten those three out of the way,
let's take a look at the upcoming bowl slate

[a quick word:
i only picked games i cared about to some degree
games with teams i don't give a shit about aren't on here
and there's no bcs games due to my ongoing boycott]

here it is, my list in all its glory:
–champs sports: florida state over notre dame
–alamo: baylor over washington
–insight: iowa over oklahoma
–meineke: texas a&m over northwestern
–chick-fil-a: virginia over auburn
–ticketcity: houston over penn state
–outback: msu over georgia
–capital one: nebraska over south carolina
–cotton: kansas state over arkansas
–compass: pitt over smu

some of those were easy picks, some were excruciating
and here's the method behind my madness
–i'll always pick the noles over the irish, just cuz
–washington's defense has been super susceptible to high–powered offenses all season
the amount of points they gave up to stanford/nebraska/usc was just absurd
–my gut feeling is that iowa will show up and oklahoma won't
iowa's a better team than their production has shown,
and oklahoma was wildly overrated this year
–i don't think northwestern has it in them to win this game
it's in texas, and their defense won't stand up against the aggies balanced offense
–virginia's beaten more ranked teams than auburn has,
AND has the more balanced and talented team
–i love penn state, i really do, but they're gonna get embarassed in this game
we all saw how many points they gave up at wisconsin
it's gonna be that game all over again against houston
–there's no way i pick against msu, no way
–connor shaw may be an illusive little shit,
but the blackshirts will be the best defense they've faced since georgia
and i think nebraska can shut him down
–arkansas may have the better qb, but k state is the better all around team
plus k state has played better on the road than the hogs
–this one's more emotional than logical, but what the hell
i think if pitt shows up like they want to play, they'll get it done

as always, rant away if you disagree
GO GREEN

domain

2011-12-17T16:22:00.000-05:00

blogablogablogaBLOGaBLOGABLOGABLOGablogablog
why? because i haven't in a while,
and there is no word more fun to say than 'blog'

as much as i hate doing that sentimental, end–of–my–time–here bullshit nonsense,
since i am, after all, averse to prolonged goodbyes and maudlin displays of emotion,
i decided to temporary suspend my aversion
[yes, i am able to suspend such things, for i am both amazing and powerful]
this isn't going to be a list of things i'll miss most about msu,
people i'm going to miss, things i wish i'd done, и так дальше
i don't have time for that sappy shit

what i have decided to do is write an open letter to the profs who've affected me most
true, quality education is most apparent when students like their teachers,
and carry on knowledge and skills they learned from those teachers
so instead of the stock 'college is ending oh no sadface' reflections
i present: ben says thank you to his favorite profs
they are not in order of preference or ranking, they just are

dr thomas
you were my first history prof at msu, and man am i glad of that
the way you approached your discipline is was perfect for me to learn from:
decidedly old school, but in a refreshing sort of way
you didn't get caught up in all the technological ways to teach or lecture,
you had us sit in a circle and talk and analyze and discuss
you taught me how to read like a historian [yes, that is a thing],
and you taught me how to use the library well, as opposed to just using it
but beyond what you taught me, you showed me just as much
your passion for history is what sets you apart,
and it's what drew me back to you for my second history class
you love everything about it, from the analysis, the effects,
and more importantly, the quirky little shit that makes you go 'huh'
you were the most enthusiastic teacher of history i had at msu,
and if nothing else, you helped foster that in me
i loved history before, and i still love it today
hopefully i'll continue loving it my entire life
i don't know that i would've stuck with it all these years, though, if you hadn't taught me to
you gave me a lot, which is really more important than teaching me subject matter
you didn't lend out your time, or grudgingly agree to help me when i needed it
you GAVE me the tools and resources i needed to be a good student and great historian
i wouldn't have traded my classes with you for anything
i only wish i took your classes more
enjoy your retirement — of everyone i know, you've earned it the most

dr breedlove
i gotta say, you were the most unexpectedly likable prof i've had here
beyond the fact that your name is hilarious [especially considering your subject],
you have the most ridiculously engaging way of teaching:
telling dirty jokes before class, encouraging us to talk about our sex lives,
hell, even lambasting ignorant folks who open their mouths when they shouldn't
your class was worth getting up early and trudging across campus for
and THAT, let me tell you, is a rare thing
and what's more, you taught your subject in a way that unabashedly intrigued me
i'm not an overly sciencey person, unfortunately
while i do love maths and natural sciences, i can't do them to save my life
but i've never been closer to trying than i was after your class was done
you completely sold me on neurobiology and sexual psychology
i've never been as good at science as i was when i took your course,
[to this day, i can still remember what 5α–reductase is]
and i've never wanted to be a scientist more than i did that semester
if nothing else, thank you for reminding me that science is something i can love
though truly, thank you for being both hilarious and insightful
would that every scientist i knew was like you

dr khalil
you are by far the most recent addition to this list,
considering i just took your final yesterday,
but you are definitely deserving of a spot on this list
your charisma and expertise mixed with humerous humility were just too much
i don't know if anyone could not enjoy having you as a prof
you mixed in personal anecdotes seamlessly with lectures,
and you left me wanting to learn more about islam every day
i wasn't expecting my last semester to be graced with as good of a prof as you,
and that pleasant surprise practically saved me through this semester
you're another prof i'll wish i'd gotten another chance to have,
but this one is all on you, since this is your first semester back at msu since 2007
you better believe i'd jump into your class next semester in a heartbeat
thank you for giving me a class worth going to this last semester,
and thank you for just being an all–around awesome guy

dr merrill
purely and simply, you are the reason i'm a russian major
there's really no other way i can describe it
every aspect of you class was perfect for me to learn russian,
and frankly, that's a rare gift for language professors
you made me want to keep learning after class was over,
and you pushed me in just the right way to keep my interest piqued
your knowledge extends far beyond what your class taught,
and it was all i could do to not keep talking and questioning you after every class
you made the challenges fun, accessible and worth doing,
you sold me on studying abroad when i was unsure about doing it,
you broadened my horizons in ways i can't even fathom
and you did it all within a year and a half
it's amazing to think that i only had you for three semesters,
and that i haven't taken one of your classes since spring of 2010,
because every time i was in russian i'd think of you and the way you helped me learn
спасибо большое for being an overall wonderful man,
and for convincing me to take chances when i was unsure

honorable mentions: dr fine and dr moch
you two are here by virtue of my thesis
i'd had dr moch before in a class and loved her
[even though it was team taught, so she only taught about half the lectures],
and was excited to get to work with her again on my academic magnum opus
she was the one who got me to meet with dr fine to discuss her possibly advising my thesis,
and i'm eternally grateful for that
dr fine, you were everything i could've hoped for any more in an advisor
you were understanding, challenging, resourceful, and supportive
the advice you gave me was always sound and pertinent,
and you gave me the space i needed to do my best work [and occasionally, my worst]
you were never hard on me when i did something wrong or wasn't meeting deadlines
and you gave me extremely help and constructive criticism when i needed it most
you and dr moch were both understanding about my time issues at the end,
and i am grateful for your leeway in getting the goddamn thing done
you two are both wonderful, intelligent people
and i'm glad that you were the two i got to finish my undergrad work with

addendum

2011-12-06T11:37:00.001-05:00

as much as i stand behind what i previously said,
i feel like i owe you guys some clarification,
if for no other reason than because i should

my irritation with the bcs doesn't extend to most teams playing bcs bowls
many of them have proven worthy of being there,
[with a few notable exceptions]
and i have nothing but respect for their achievements
so even though i won't be watching them play this year,
i wish nothing but success for those teams
ok state, stanford, clemson, west virginia, oregon, and wisconsin
you guys proved you were worthy of competing with the best
so go out there, play your asses off,
and don't take my bcs anger to heart

the one exception i have is this year's sugar bowl
and wouldn't ya know it, my problem ISN'T that michigan is playing
[though i will get to them in a minute]
first off, let me point out this particular fact:
this is the first year the acc has gotten an at–large bcs bid
[miami wasn't in the acc the year they won the national championship,
and neither was virginia tech when they played in one]
and who gets chosen for this particularly vaunted spot?
virginia tech
the same virginia tech that lost the acc championship by FOUR TOUCHDOWNS
the same virginia tech whose only losses were to clemson, by a combined 62–13
so, as everyone made the case that msu shouldn't be given a bcs birth,
namely due to the fact that they lost the b1g championship,
[which, by the way, was far more competitive than the acc championship]
va tech does get an at–large birth for the exact same reason
if you were going to give at at–large berth to a conference championship loser,
why not msu? or georgia?
why would you give that at–large spot to a conference with no real parity?

COMPARISON TIEMZ!
–the acc had only two teams to reach the 10–win plateau
pac12, b1g had 3, the sec had 5; none of those ccg loses got at–large bids
–va tech ended up ranked higher ranked than the team that beat it [by 4 spots]
the other three conference losers all ended up ranked lower than the team that beat them
–boise state's biggest non–conference win was [in practice] at georgia
va tech's was hosting arkansas state
[boise also happens to be ranked four spots above va tech]
–south carolina actually managed to beat clemson this year [and is ranked above va tech]
believe me, i could go on

so, with the wholly unworthy va tech filling the bcs at–large void
[which it truly only got because the sec filled its two spots in the ncg
which, if you'll recall, is BULLSHIT NONSENSE]
who do they get to play them?
that would be the b1g at–large team, naturally
and this, that happens to be michigan
now, i'm not going to bitch and moan about how michigan got picked before msu
[mostly because i don't believe ccg losers should play in bcs games]
but i will say this:
having michigan play in the bcs again is good for the big ten
as you also may recall, i said that michigan playing well makes msu look better
and in this case, michigan playing well makes the big ten look better too
when a conference's biggest team plays like shit, it reflects poorly on all of them
case in point: the big 12 last year when texas went 5–7
so as much as i wish that msu was playing in the sugar bowl this year,
i'm glad that michigan is [kind of] back to playing like they used to
cuz if nothing else, after last year's bowl season,
the big ten's gonna need every win it can get

by the way, what i WILL bitch about is this
as much as i'll enjoy if michigan wins the sugar bowl
i will absolutely loathe the michigan fanbase for it
many a michigan fan is already insufferable to me,
and if they get a quality bowl win this year,
they'll be back to bragging and boasting like the last three years didn't happen
and while it's completely understandable that they'd want to put it behind them,
they do it in a way that collectively makes them the most insufferable pricks i know
it will also make the offseason a long, drawn–out pain in the ass
mostly because they'll go back to talkin' smack about next year's paul bunyan game
so i'm at an impasse:
i root for michigan [again, finally], and then i have to deal with the fans
what's a spartan to do?

as a pertinent aside:
what in fuck's name is up with the way michigan fans interact with msu fans?
we are, apparently, michigan's "third-most-important rival"
[behind ohio state and notre dame]
never mind the fact that msu has been playing michigan longer than notre dame
and michigan fans treat the msu game with such disdain that it leads me to ask:
what's up witht that?
when you guys were losing to ohio state, you acted like the games never happened,
and went back to your rah–rah–we're–michiganness the next day
but when you lost to michigan state,
you bitched about the fanbase and wrote off the wins as fluke
[and still went back to your rah–rah–we're–michiganness the next day]
i dunno if it's because disliking msu is somehow wired into your brains,
but let me break it down for you to the point where you can get it:
msu is the perennial and historic second–best team
and when the second–best team beats the best team,
it warrants some bragging
when the second–best team slowly becomes equal to the best team,
it's a big fucking deal
i'm sorry if you can't wrap your minds around that,
but that's basically what it comes down to
of course msu fans are gonna be high on themselves when they beat michigan
we've gotten shit for SO LONG about who we root for,
that we're gonna savor every last moment of those wins

i'll tell you what's gonna be really sad
the next time you beat msu,
i can GUARANTEE the big house is gonna act exactly like they did after 'the game'
people are gonna go nuts and celebrate like it's the second coming
and truthfully, it will be deserved
but believe me when i say i will be watching that celebration,
and will truly enjoy reminding you guys just how hypocritical you are

oh, and by the way,
notre dame is OUR main rival
and we have a better rivalry with them than you do
msu has played them far more than michigan has,
[and they happen to have beaten them more times than michigan has]
additionally, although msu has played michigan more times than notre dame
the msu–notre dame games tend to be better than the msu–michigan games
not just recently, but historically
so trust me, this 'you're not our biggest rival' bullshit goes both way
besides, nothing pisses off michigan fans like being ignored or overlooked
and what kind of msu fan would i be if i didn't use that to its fullest extent?

fallout

2011-12-05T01:05:00.000-05:00

so guess what?
it's sunday night, and the final regular season bcs rankings are out
know what that means?
yup: MORE FOOTBALL RANTING
[seryusly, if you guys aren't sick of it yet, than you never will be
which means i may as well just make it happen more often]

first off, let me proffer some organization for my decidedly unorganized thoughts
i'm gonna bitch about the weird as fuck rankings,
then i'm gonna bitch about the bowl selections,
then i'm gonna bitch about the bcs
cool? cool. so let's get to it

right off the bat,
it becomes extremely obvious that the bcs absolutely hates non–aq teams
and thus relishes punishing them
case in point: the until–yesterday unbeaten houston cougars
they were ranked #6 last week when they played the #24 souther miss golden eagles,
and then houston proceeded to lose to them. badly. [by 21 points]
so where's the problem?
the bcs dropped them THIRTEEN places to #19 in this week's bcs
and southern miss? they got a bump ALL THE WAY up to #21
how fucking bullshit is that?
by comparison, georgia was #14 when they lost to lsu, and are now ranked #16
msu was #13 when they lost to wisconsin, and are now #17
va tech was #5 when the lost to clemson, and now they are #11
oh, and btdubs, oklahoma was #10 when they lost by 34 FUCKING POINTS to osu
and now, they're all the way down to #14
believe me when i say i could go on and on
i'm not arguing that houston doesn't deserve to drop spots for their loss,
nor do i believe they are less deserving because they play in a [relatively] weaker conference,
i'm arguing that the bcs is complete and utter horseshit when it comes to non–aq teams
how does southern miss only move up by three when they knocked off the #6 team?
how does houston drop 13 spots by losing to a ranked team?
i can GUARANTEE you, if lsu had lost to georgia by 3 tds yesterday,
that they'd still be in the top 5
so let's just take that wool off our eyes and admit it ourselves and the world:
if you aren't an sec team, the bcs won't like you and will underrate you
if you aren't an automatic–qualifying team, fuck you go die in a fire
and that is our supposedly unbiased, fair, computerized ranking system

oh, and by the way
there are four 9–win teams in the top 25 [the highest one, baylor, is #12]
and there are only two teams that have 12+ wins
one is the current #1, lsu, at 13–0; the other, houston, is #19 at 12–1
ready for the real kicker?
there are two [TWO!] 7–5 teams in the latest bcs top 25
texas [24] and auburn [25]
how does THAT not scream bias?
texas shot itself in the foot yesterday at home by 24 points to baylor,
and auburn got destroyed [28 points] by alabama two weeks ago
they were both ranked in the low 20s last week,
so how in fuck's name are they still included in the top 25?
texas has lost to every ranked team they've played this year
and auburn beat one [south carolina] in week 5
and just to put the cherry on top of this particular bullshit sundae,
arkansas moved up 2 places after NOT EVEN PLAYING this week,
[by virtue of the fact that their blowout to lsu had them slip only five spots to #8]
which means they got rewarded for other teams losing,
solely because they got preferential treatment in the first place

and now, to the bowl games,
because i can't believe this shit
first up, our nc game: lsu and alabama
i simply refuse to believe that alabama is better than oklahoma state
i flat out deny that line of thinking
yes, alabama's only loss was to lsu, whereas ok state's sole loss was to unraked iowa state
BUT, ok state has a MUCH more productive offense than alabama
and they've played arguably just as tough of a slate as the crimson tide
more importantly, they finished the season stronger than the tide did
you could even make the argument that stanford would make an equally strong #2
what it comes down to for me, though, is the hypocrisy of punishment
do you remember how many spots alabama dropped from their lsu loss? just 2 [to #4]
how many spots did oregon fall with their loss to lsu? 10 [#3 to #13]
how many did arkansas fall? 5
how about west virginia? 6
florida? over 8 [#17 to out of the bcs]
i don't care if alabama's loss to lsu was closer than anyone else's
in this case, a loss is a loss, and they aren't treated with any kind of congruity
which means the sport's media's darling sec west gets yet another national title
while ok state is left with the fiesta bowl [though that is a good consolation prize]

and while we're on the subject of bowls,
how the hell did boise state end up in such a shitty bowl game?
it's not like they're ranked #7 at 11–1 that started with a win over #19 georgia
i understand that they didn't win the mountain west this year [tcu did]
but the fact that they're stuck playing a 7–5 arizona state is ludicrous
especially since the sun devils have dropped four straight games to weak teams
boise should be playing a strong big ten or big 12 team
like nebraska, penn state, oklahoma, or baylor
they should return their bowl game for a full refund and get an upgrade
and speaking of bowl games with TERRIBLE teams,
how about this year's kraft fight hunger bowl,
which has the must–see matchup of 6–6 illinois and 6–7 ucla
two of the most embarrassing teams that bothered playing this year
seriously, illinois has lost six straight games and fired its head coach,
along with being the laughing stock of the entire big ten
[seriously, even indiana and minnesota are more respected right now]
and ucla? the team that had to get a special waiver to play a bowl with a losing record?
[for the record, how is that a thing? bowl games are for winner who deserve it
ucla, you are most definitely not a winner, and you do not deserve a bowl
i don't give a flying fuck if you "won" the pac12 south,
you've given up 99 points in the past two games, and only scored 31
no right–minded indvidual would ever reward you for that hideous performance]
i dunno about the rest of you,
but of all the boring bowl games i'll be actively ignoring this month,
that one will be at the top of the list

all that being said, there are some bowls to look forward to this month
and though there are some that i'll be more interested in watching than others,
here's my list of bowls worth watching:
–nevada v. souther miss [sheraton hawai'i, 12/24]
–louisvile v. nc state [belk, 12/27]
–florida state v. notre dame [champs sports, 12/29]
–washington v. baylor [valero alamo]
–iowa v. oklahoma [insight]
–northwestern v. texas a&m [meineke]
–virginia v. auburn [chick–fil–a]
–houston v. penn state [ticketcity]
–msu v. georgia [outback]
–nebraska v. south carolina [capital one]
–kansas state v. arkansas [cotton]
–smu v. pittsburgh [bbva compass]
it seems like a short list [at least to me],
but with a lack of bcs bowls, it's gonna be a little bit paltry
speaking of bcs bowls...

an open letter to the bcs:
dear bcs, my name is ben and i'm an avid college football fan.
i spend all year impatiently waiting for football to finally begin,
and look forward to bowl season like a 6 year old looks forward to christmas.
this year, though, christmas will seem a little less magical thanks to you.
you've grinched me out of quality national championship game,
just as you've given me 'unbiased' formulaic rankings for the past 8 weeks [and 13 years].
you've tried to tell me that my conference, the big ten, just isn't good enough,
and have consistently screwed us out of fair rankings for our most quality teams.
i'd say i feel alone in that, but unfortunately the big ten isn't the only one to feel this way:
i imagine the acc and pac12 have quite the bone to pick you, not to mention the big 12.
and even though you've put me through this for more years than i'd care to remember,
this year finally feels like you've taken it too far.
i've seen good teams go underrated and underranked this entire season,
and i've seen incredibly overrated teams be unfairly highly ranked for long stretches of time.
so, i say to you, for all to see, that i'm done with your bullshit.
i'm declaring an all–encompassing boycott on the bcs for the foreseeable future.
i will not watch the national championship, the fiesta, sugar, or orange bowls,
and as much as it pains me to do so, i will not be watching the rose bowl.
i refuse to go along with your charade any longer.
even if, in the coming years, my team manages to win it all and play in the rose bowl,
i will not be watching them, because of you,
and i encourage the fanbases of teams you've spurned to do the same.
the only thing that has proven influential over you is money, ratings, and attendance,
and i steadfastly refuse to provide you with any of them.
so go ahead, give the sec west their sixth straight national championship.
go ahead and give undeserving teams bcs bowls and deserving teams the cold shoulder.
go ahead and claim objective superiority with your computerized formulas.
you overshadow on–field accomplishments with off–the–field choices,
you've created way more controversy than support in the past 13 years,
you've been accused of virtually every impropriety known to american law,
and yet you still claim superiority over the rest of us.
i'm done giving you that satisfaction, and i'm done with you.
please, stop ruining college football for me and my fellow fans,
and let us get back to enjoying the games without your nonsense hovering over our heads.

грінго

2011-12-03T20:35:00.001-05:00

father says head down, we don't want them finding you
mother says practice now all the words you now
oh, arizona's burning, they say the fence turned round
and now the razor wire keeps us out
mother says with luck we'll sleep under a roof tonight
father says in the truck we'll be crushed in tight

oh chicago, don't forget me as the miles between us grow
keep the maple tree carved with the name of my love
the hills we would sled down
lake michigan stay endless and painted in sky, goodbye

mother says years ago, the whole world was ours to rule
father says let it go those days are gone for good
all the signs read 'no gringo', but somehow we'll find out way
maybe waiting at dawn by the factory doors,
sun burnt and bent in the fields
hey don't us in, we'll be silent as the grave this time

no gringo, no gringo aquí, words as levies against the flood
hoy cerrado, there's too many to feed, room for only our kind, our own blood
no gringo, no gringo aquí, you have stayed in this land for too long
tan amargo, but there's no time to grieve, you just pack up your things and move on

battle assembly

2011-12-01T14:27:00.000-05:00

this past month was INSANE with pageviews this month
like i said before, it was mostly spam sites that somehow started linking to me,
so there was an abnormally large spike in traffic
i'm just gonna pretend that i'm famous now and people value my opinion now
so good to you guys?

we start with an aside because i couldn't believe this when i saw it
for those of you who don't know him,
jeremy clarkson is the host of top gear,
by far the most popular car show on the planet
he also happens to be a complete too (or, as the brits might say, a horse's arse)
now, i have no idea what in fuck's name he was originally talking about,
but somehow an aside got started about unionized public sector workers,
and how some are currently striking over changes to their pensions,
and this was his response to that topic:
"frankly, i'd have them all shot.
i would take them out and execute them in front of their families.
i mean how dare they go on strike,
when they've got these gilt–edged pensions that are guaranteed,
when the rest of us have to work for a living."
now, truthfully, i could care less what he thinks about public unions and union workers,
but that's not something you say on fucking tv
i don't care if he's known for making satirical or controversial statements
that's not something you joke about
his joke about less traffic at the airport? no problem there (though kinda unoriginal)
joking about killing them all? decidedly not so
i don't think he should be fired [because of that whole free speech thing], but seriously,
what the hell, jeremy clarkson? how stupid can you be on live tv?
do us a favor and just shut the hell up

[oh, and for the record,
i love how he insinuates that he's a regular working stiff
the man makes hundreds of thousands of pounds a year hosting a tv show
hardly the kind of work that justifies having a pension, eh?
no wonder he said that stuff – he's jealous he doesn't get retirement]

now we get to the part i actually intended to blogablog about
[another aside: i love the word 'blog' an almost unhealthy amount
seriously, let it loll about on your tongue for a while
it's almost as much to say as 'lesbian']
i first planned to write this post about a month and a half ago,
but then other things happened that took up my time
[like other blog topics]
at any rate, let's get to it now

one of the reasons i enjoy big ten football is that it's spoiler–tastic
there's at least one beautiful, impossible probably EVERY. YEAR.
usually more than one [lookin' at you, northwestern]
but what's even more exciting than that is playing the one spot you can never win at
there's at least one stadium each team can just NEVER win at,
especially when it's a place they should be able to no problem
it's kind of a hackneyed term nowadays [especially since it's after halloween],
but every team has their own personal 'house of horrors'
so let's take a jaunt through the big ten,
and relish in the frustration these places inevitably bring
i'll start with msu, because it's a convenient [and biased] place to start

msu: at iowa
if ever there was a stadium that had msu's number,
it would be kinnick stadium in iowa city
good as iowa's team is, kinnick isn't exactly the most imposing place to play
especially considering iowa hasn't historically been better than msu
[though in my lifetime they've been equal to better than da spartans]
for whatever reason, though, msu just cannot win there
this year's win was the first for msu at iowa since 1989
i was five months old the last time msu had won there
and the sad part is, most of those games weren't even close
most of them ended win scores closer to last year's blowout in week 9
ultimately though, i'm okay with iowa being our only real problem
[i don't consider our problem to be penn state,
because our losses to iowa are usually inexplicable
losses to penn state at beaver stadium are expected by everyone]
especially considering iowa's problem...

iowa: at northwestern
you wanna talk about inexplicable?
how about the fact that kirk ferentz has only won in evanston twice in seven tries?
iowa has completely owned the series between them and northwestern
thanks in part to 21 straight victories from '74 to '94
but man, ever since northwestern won the rose bowl in '95,
iowa's been faceplanting at northwestern like it's their JOB
it can partially be attributed to the fact that northwestern is a spoiler EXPERT
[they pull off at least one amazing spoiler each and every year, case in point:
nebraska '11, iowa '10, wisconsin '09, minnesota '08, msu '07, you get the point]
but even that doesn't explain how the hawkeyes manage to consistently fall flat
must just be one of those things,
kinda like...

northwestern: at indiana
...seriously? indiana?
the indiana that last had a coach with a winning record in 1947?
the indiana that doesn't have a winning record in any of its rivalries?
yup, that indiana
consider: northwestern has lost to indiana only thrice since 1993
where have all three of those losses come? at indiana, naturally
in fact, in my lifetime, northwestern is 5 for 10 in bloomington
to which i say... how is that possible?
seriously. SERIOUSLY. it's fucking indiana
i mean, great job hoosiers, but seriously, how did you manage that?
then again, indiana doesn't really have room to boast
especially when you bring up...

indiana: at minnesota
sweet and holy jesus is this a funny series
there's nothing like the two perennially terrible teams duking it out
even though there's a couple multi–year gaps in this set of games,
indiana hasn't won at minnesota since 1993,
and they're a pitiful 2 for 6 in minneapolis
again, it's not like the humphrey dome was the most intimidating environment
i don't know that i have any more words to dedicate to this one
it feels like picking on little kids
speaking of being picked on...

minnesota: at purdue
[i was tempted to make this one at wisconsin instead,
but i'm trying to keep this to schools these teams should be able to beat, but can't]
minnesota and purdue are roughly equal as far as football has been concerned,
but man, if there's one place minnesota can never get traction, its at purdue
sure, the gophers have lost at the big house a shit ton [like everyone else]
and have had recent issues at camp randall,
but c'mon, they should at least able to make something happen in west lafayette
but no
instead, they've gone a spectacularly horrendous 2 for 10 playing at purdue
i know minnesota's had it issues recently, but so has purdue
you'd think there'd be more equity in their respective mediocrity
but then you'd be wrong, you wrong person, you
besides, purdue has to have stumbled somewhere along the line too, yeah?
yes indeed, and it just happens to be...

purdue: at iowa
yeah, we're not the only ones that faceplant at kinnick
but unlike us, purdue has been playing iowa for twice as long
and thus has the funnier fail streak
the last time purdue won at iowa was '92, and the time before that was '79
which makes them 2 for the past 13 at kinnick
man do those iowans love their streaks or what?
again, no words, just... damn, that's sad
so much for being the 'spoilermakers', huh?
actually, yes, because...

ohio state: at purdue
i'm pretty sure every big ten fan relishes this particular gem
ohio state has lost 4 times at purdue in the past decade,
whereas their second highest loss total is at wisconsin, where they've lost twice
no one seems to know the logic behind this one
this year ohio state was down, but still should've probly won
in 2009 they were fucking undefeated at ranked #7
in 2004 they just didn't show up to play,
and in 2000 they were 5–1 and ranked #12
there's no logical way purdue manages to beat them,
and yet, there it is for all to see
talk about embarrassing,
which just happens to lead me to...

penn state: at ohio state
this one is REALLY the one that really boggles the mind
penn state, the most successful big ten school of the past 50 years,
champions of the mid–atlantic, heaviest of the heavy hitters,
and they've won OHIO in columbus in my lifetime, out of nine tries
what the fuckin' fuck?
how could the buckeyes have that ridiculous of a streak against penn state?
how is that even possible? i just... there has to be... i mean—GODDAMN IT
this one makes so little sense it hurts my head
christ on a bike, penn state, this is just pathetic
though there are more pathetic things out there, e.g....

illinois at: illinois
if any team has a confusion–inducing home–loss tendency, it would the illini
i dunno how they do it, i really don't
while they've had problems with big ten road games [like most teams],
they've only won nine b1g home games since 2006
NINE
in that same time span, here's how other teams have fared at home against b1g teams:
msu 16, wisconsin 21, michigan 14, indiana 7, ohio state 20 [16 after vacated wins]
i can't believe illinois only got two more wins than indiana in that stretch
oh, and it goes back a lot farther, believe you me
i just don't want to have to count back that far
at any rate, no one beats illinois quite like it beats itself at home

wisconsin: michigan state
as an msu fan, i love this so hard it hurts
not only has wisconsin lost four straight games in east lansing,
they've only won 3 games in east lansing in the past 20 years,
making them a wonderfully paltry 3 out of 10,
and only slightly better than minnesota when it plays purdue
not only does wisconsin have that unfortunate 4 game losing streak,
three of those games have been lost in the final three minutes of the game
2011 it was the td pass in the last four seconds,
2010 it was the td pass 40 seconds before the two minute warning,
2008 it was the last second field goal,
[and 2004 was a 35 blowout]
talk up the badgers all you want before the championship this saturday,
but we all know what happens when the badgers come to town

michigan: ohio state
i didn't really have much of a choice to make with this one
even though michigan has a couple active losing streaks at various b1g stadiums,
none sticks out quite like the one in columbus
regardless of the 7 game losing streak michigan just snapped,
they've had some serious woes at ohio state over the course of my life
how woeful? something to the tune of being 3 for 11 since 1989
yeah, you didn't read that wrong, 3 of 11
i understand that michigan/ohio state is the best and most competitive rivalry out there,
[yeah, every single other yearly rivalry can SUCK. IT.]
but even so, that's quite lopsided
i understand that a rivalry this intense will go back and forth,
but i would've expected better from the winningest program ever
i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin'

also, i'm not doing one for nebraska
mostly because i don't want to
SO THERE

malefic

2011-11-28T12:14:00.000-05:00

guess what time it is?
if you guessed "...fuck, not more football",
put on the crown, today you're the king
the college football regular season is almost officially over,
so what better way to celebrate than hardcore raging?
it is, after all, what you've come to expect from me
so why deny you all that you've come to love and cherish

first up, fired coaches
you've gotta hand it to athletic directors these days
they've got to be some of the most efficient people on the face of the earth
three coaches were confirmed fired before noon on sunday, NOON
that's some pretty quick decision making
really, ads? couldn't even get through the weekend before making announcements?
what happened to announcing that shit on monday morning?
christ, at least give the coach you're firing a day to clear out his desk
btdubs, for those that are wondering,
the three coaches are ron zook [illinois], turner gill [kansas], and larry porter [memphis]
at the moment, those are the only three that are confirmed
and OH BOY, are there a shit ton more on their way
if following college football has taught me anything,
it's to expect double digit coach firings in the two weeks after the season ends
and we've started the carousel srong this year with a nice trifecta
who's next, i wonder?

i'm not one to normally speculate on the future of coaches
mostly because i find it pedantic and usually pretty mean–spirited
[these are, after all, people, and regardless of how you feel about them,
they deserve a modicum of respect and dignity, even in being fired]
but man oh man, this year's projected slate is MASSIVE
from all i've been able to garner from at least quasi–credible sources,
[and yes, espn, that absolutely includes you]
here's the 'possibly fired/hotseat' coaches list:
4 from the big 12, 2 from the big east, 3 from the b1g
4 from conference usa, 3 from mac, 2 from mountain west, 4 from pac12,
3 from sec, 2 from sun belt, and 2 from wac
that, ladies and gents, is a full 29 coaches
29 men with the massive media spotlight shining right in their eyes
surely that many people don't deserve to be fired
so how about we just collectively chill the hell out, hmm?
i'm sure the school will fill us in very soon
[since they are loathe to wait so long]

and since everyone else is blowing up the interwubs with it,
this is my two cents on urban meyer:
urban, you're being an ass
if you think florida was stressful and detrimental to your health,
then you ain't seen nothin' yet
how could ohio state possibly be any less stressful than that?
also, i hope your girls and wife enjoyed the past 11 months with you,
cuz they'll probly never see you again
so much for being a family man and spending more quality time with them, eh?
please, do me and the rest of the big ten a favor:
actually spend some time with your family, look after yourself,
and fuck's sake, stay the hell out of my conference

in other football news,
my b1g champsionship prediction is half wrong, much to our collective chagrin
[thanks a lot, penn state, for proving me SUPER WRONG
maybe it was your succesful wildcat plays last week at ohio state,
but i believed you could kick ass on the road
guess last year wasn't an offensive fluke after all]
i gotta say, i'm not nearly as excited as everyone else about this rematch
first off, i'm not a fan of post–season rematchs of regular–season games
they just aren't as enjoyable as the first time around,
and they tend to get WAY over–hyped [case in point, '97 sugar bowl]
plus, who wants to see the same game twice in one season?
college football's season is already short enough,
why cheapen it with rematches?
secondly, i wanted a match up with penn state SO BAD
that would've a great goddamn game
the big ten's two best defenses going head to head on a neutral field?
i'd watch that so hard ALL DAY LONG
and what self–respecting team could pass up the chance to play penn state?
seryusly, i'd take them over wisconsin any day

secondly, and this is related,
am i really going to have to put up with this 'msu's inferior' bullshit AGAIN?
how fucking stupid and/or blind are you people?
beyond the fact that msu has TWICE derailed wisconsin's perfect season dreams,
they've played better on the road than wisconsin has
consider:
msu has beaten ohio state, iowa, and northwestern on the road
wisconsin has beaten illinois and minnesota on the road
msu has the league's top–ranked defense, wisconsin the top–ranked offense
there is no plausible way you can say that either team is superior
they're virtually even as far as talent and on–field performance
yes it'll be a hard–fought game, and yes msu might lose
but to count msu out before it begins is foolish to the point of idiocy
might i remind all of you that msu was counted out of the 10/22 game?
might i remind you that msu wasn't predicted to win the legends division?
and might i remind i remind you that both of those were proven wrong?
so please, give credit where credit is due
and admit that wisconsin will meet its match in indianapolis
because it will, and i'm gonna watch every second of it

finally, a message to michigan football:
thank you, thank you, thank you
thanks for finally giving me a michigan team i can root for
thank you for FINALLY ending that ridiculous streak against ohio state
and thanks for helping the state of michigan to its most successful b1g season ever
it was about fucking time you guys played like a michigan team,
and not some pansy half–southern whining spread–offense–running sons o' bitches
remember how i said that michigan playing well makes msu better too?
well, i'm glad you took it to heart
you guys actually played like you wanted to win, and then did it
[i bet a few of you had forgotten what that felt like]
too bad you hadn't thought to get brady hoke four years ago, eh?
at any rate, congrats on a stellar season, and good luck in your bowl game
[p.s.—if/when msu wins the b1g championship on saturday,
i hope you guys get the bcs at–large bid,
that way the b1g's bcs contingent is pure michigan
i could totally live with that]

µήδεια

2011-11-26T03:43:00.000-05:00

inside the labyrinth walls there lies a tiny child who sleeps alone
and as the daylight falls the wind becomes so wild across the stone
for i have made her prison be her every step away from me
and this child i would destroy if you tried to set her free

so come to me, my love, i'll tap into your strength and drain it dry
can never have enough, for you i'd burn the length and breadth of sky
for it's my thoughts that bind me here, it's this love that i most fear
and this child i would destroy, for i hold her pain most dear

no haven for this heart, no shelter for this child in mazes lost
heaven keep us apart, a curse for every mile of ocean crossed
for i must die for what i've done, a twist of fate, a desert sun
for i see what i destroy, sweet reflection knife into me
for i see what i destroy, i can see what i've begun

entrecôte

2011-11-22T13:10:00.000-05:00

i did something last night that i thought i never would:
i actually made myself a twitter
this may strike some of you as a surprise
[given my vocal opponence to posting statuses online
see: my moratorium on facebook statuses]
but i may yet find it convenient and useful
that or it'll rot away like so many unused websites of yesteryear
[i'm lookin' at you, myspace and aol]
so let's collectively begin the grand experiment that is me on the twitterverse,
and begin with the obligatory webspeak:
HGARGLHBLARGHFOLLOWMEONTWITTERBLARGHKTHNXBAI

now that i got that out of the way,
here's the actual link:
[in case, for some reason, you're averse to clicking the one at right]
twitter.com/djemsojedi
you'll notice that the name is the same as both this blog AND my facebook
[or, as mr michael calls it, teh fezbuk]
yes, i am that unoriginal,
but it also makes it easier to find my collective online presence,
which really only facilitates a ridiculous, unachievable pipe dream i have,
namely that someday i'll be like stephen fry
a boy can dream, right?

we begin today with a romp around the interwubs,
cuz it's little more than my virtual playground
so let's take a romp through the psychotic sandbox, shall we?

first up: FUHBAL, because i fucking can
after enduring a hilariously awful plummet into the depths of football hell,
the arizona wildcats fired their coach, mike stoops, partway through the season
despite my unrestrainable apathy towards them and their football team
i suddenly find myself vaguely interested in their future,
because as a replacement, they hired rich rodriguez
which is possibly the only act that could make the entire michigan fanbase gag at once
what surprises me, though, is not that they got him
it's that they got him considering what his strength[s] are
richrod is by and large an offensive guy
say what you will about his michigan squads [and believe me, i could say a lot],
he honed that offense into quite the machine
that surprises me because from what i've seen, arizona's offense was fine
they've got a good quarterback in nick foles, their receiving corps is explosive,
but their defense was what was getting them into trouble
so why you'd get an offensive–minded coach is beyond me
though maybe his choice in defensive coordinator will be better this go–around
at any rate, i'll be interested to see how his tenure goes
he'll be on a shorter leash, given his issues at michigan
but his time at west virginia, as we've collectively forgotten, was very succesful
maybe arizona will provide him the clemency he needs

in other news,
politically minded folk are up in arms at maine and wisconsin republicans
[...not that this is out of the norm, mind you]
but this time, it's for a reason i'm kinda in favor of
many of you are aware that we have both federal– and state–level child labor laws
what you may not know is that we have them for a goddamn reason
children shouldn't be made to do dangerous work when they are still developing,
they should be compelled to work instead of going to school,
and they shouldn't spend as much time at work as they do at school
gilded and progressive era activists and politicians were able to recognize that,
and passed legislation to limit its scope
in the currently–popular trend of reducing the federal gov't to a drooling husk,
certain states politicians are trying to scale back the scope of child labor laws,
in maine, for example, some are trying to make the following changes in maine:
—eliminating maximum # of working hours for 16+ y/0 students during school days
—establishes a 'training wage' $2/hr lower than minimum wage for the first 180 days for everyone under 20
—removes certain exemptions from disallowed labor for minors

speaking of trying to reduce child labor laws,
wisconsin is trying to do something similar
the downside of federal child labor laws is that they're kind of antiquated
they haven't been kept as up–to–date as the state laws over the past few decades
as such, they're not particularly stringent or comprehensive
because of that reality,
states have passed their own child labor laws that are more restrictive and specific
[which, by the way, IS HOW IT'S SUPPOSED TO FUCKING WORK]
apparently, though, the state of wisconsin's ruling party no longer cares for them
the wisconsin grocers association proposed scaling back their child labor laws,
essentially taking away all specifics to make it identical to the federal law
and it was added to the state's budget proposal

i'm not sure about the rest of you,
but i'm not a fan of this particular trend
if we as a society have decided that, with childhood, education is more important than work,
[which, by the way, we have, what with our public school system and all]
then we have to stick by it
you can throw out arguments about how teens aren't children,
or that teens will need the work experience and/or the money,
or that they need to be 'graced' into the world of work,
but it basically comes down to this:
as a child/teen, your singular legal priority is to attend and graduate from school
and your parents are legally obligated to care for you until you do
if you want to start working when you're 16, fine
but it needs to not consume your life to the point of being detrimental to school
when you reduce the restrictions on the kind of work you can do as a minor,
you're basically incentivizing working over getting an education
not to mention you're glutting the labor market with cheap labor
[which really does wonders for unemployment, let me tell you]
and to mention the fact that if you work for pay when under 18,
you're being taxed without representation by being under the voting age
ultimately, there are too many potential negatives with scaling back these laws
and if nothing else, we need to remember this:
if we did it once, we'll do it again
if kids once worked in canneries and factories, they will again
and it will benefit no one

in other news,
i'm FINALLY all caught up on the big bang theory
the last episode i remembered watching was the season 4 pilot,
and while everyone else i knew kept up on it,
i let it fall by the wayside like the slacker i am
but, with fluke free time thanks to a crippling bought of writer's block,
i decided to catch up, and spent 8 hours on sunday watching season 4,
and a decent amount of yesterday watching season 5
i now know what in fuck's name is going on in geekland once more
and i am the better for it
hozallah and praise be

to bring this post full circle,
it's time to return to football, because i fucking can
sweet and holy jesus was the bcs beat up this weekend
christ on a bike
4 top ten teams lost [one of them by an embarrassing margin],
a number of teams won when they weren't supposed to,
and somehow texas and auburn are still listed in the top 25
[to which i say: ...are you fucking kidding me?
both have four losses and in the bottom half of their respective conferences
unbiased rankings my hairy ass]
and as a result of all that nonsense,
the sec west has the top 3 bcs spots [lsu, alabama, and arkansas]
again... are you fucking kidding me?
if that happened to any other conference or division,
the football world would collectively cry foul and boycott the bcs
i don't even have words for how much this irritates the bejeezus out of me
because this means that the sec is basically shoed in to the national championship
both spots, not just one
i would bet tons of money that if arkansas beats lsu on saturday,
all that happens is that they switch spots, maybe bump alabama down
and we'd still have an all–sec national championship
i dunno about you, but i'm tired of this shit

i say it here and now, for all to see
if the sec gets both spots in the national championship,
i'm boycotting the bcs [with the exception of the rose bowl if msu or psu play]
and i'd ask you to as well
there's no reason for them to keep taking advantage of us
i want quality teams from all over that are deserving to play in the championship,
not just whoever wins the goddamn sec championship
i might make a concession to lsu, because they did have a tough schedule this year,
but i refuse to believe alabama or arkansas are on par
stanford, ok state, and oregon have played just as well, if not better
[okay, maybe oregon's a stretch at this point]
even so, if we're gonna have a one loss team in the national title game,
[cuz god forbid undefeated houston play in it]
i would much rather see stanford/lsu, lsu/ok state, or even stanford/ok state
c'mon people, there are tons of great teams out there
give me a title game i'll actually want to watch,
not whatever sec team tickles your balls this week

slightly related to this topic:
the big ten
msu's holding steady in the mid–teens, which is fine with me
the only good game they've played since nebraska was iowa
[though this weekend at northwestern is a guaranteed good time]
michigan, wisconsin, penn state, and nebraska round out the top 25's B1G contingent
and ya know what, i don't give a shit about all that's gone down this month
i stand by my earlier prediction for the championship in indy
msu and penn state all the way, and msu to the rose bowl
and it will be so sweet
[also, make sure you watch big ten football this week:
michigan/ohio state, iowa/nebraska, msu/northwestern, penn state/wisconsin
tell me THAT isn't a slate worth spending a weekend on the couch for
sec, you can take arkansas/lsu and shove it
i'll take the heroes game, penn state, msu/northwestern, or the game any day

hypervisor

2011-11-17T12:04:00.001-05:00

DEAR EVERYONE I GO TO SCHOOL WITH:
we live in michigan
most of you are from michigan
many more have spent a significant amount of time in michigan [e.g. me]
as such, i am utterly baffled by your anger at the weather
it is ALWAYS this cold in mid–november
it ALWAYS snows way before thanksgiving
and there's ALWAYS a few times when it snows randomly in the middle of the day
so why the FUCK are you constantly so angry about it?
you are more than powerless when it comes to the weather,
so what good is bitching gonna do?
seriously, this happens EVERY FUCKING YEAR
why is it always a fresh bout of hell every fall?
so please, at the risk of sounding like an angry and intolerant man,
shut the hell up and quit your bitching
it's michigan, this is it how it goes, get over it
christ

now that i got that out of the way,
[sweet and holy jesus, girl sitting in front of me
shut the fuck up right now
no one cares how cold you are]
today is going to be a random mashup
because why the fuck not?
i'm not gonna throw any links up today, though
because i don't really want the random spamming to continue
but, rest assured that my reporting is accurate

today i found out that there is a mountain range completely under an ice sheet
it's called the gamburtsev range [stress on the first syllable],
and it's roughly the size of the alps
they're roughly 4 kilometers below the antarctic ice sheet,
and scientists believe they are over a billion [!] years old
based on the studies they've undertaken the past seven years,
said scientists believe they were originally created from 'rodinia',
the supercontinental precursor to pangæa
[rodinia comes from the words 'rodina' (mother) and 'rodit' (to give birth)]
then, as the supercontinent changed over the millenia,
stresses and erosion cut down the mountain range's size,
which was then rejuvenated with continental separation and warming trends
as glaciers began to retreat, and the continents continued to shift,
the gamburtsevs got buried under a 2.5 mile thick layer of ice,
where it currently resides today
cool, no?
also, they've found lakes down there too
the closest one to the gamburtsevs is called 'lake vostok'
[i love how much russian is involved with these mountains]

random segue #1
direct quote from classmates regarding two kirk cousins articles in the state news:
girl: "i liked him a lot more before he got all religious and stuff"
guy: "yeah, i know, he went all tebow on us. he tebowed us!"
[for the record,
kirk cousins has been a deeply religious guy his entire time at msu
just cuz you didn't pay attention to it doesn't mean it randomly sprouted up
plus, from post game comments and conferences i've seen him in,
he's more likely to give credit for sports success to dantonio and his teammates, not god
he doesn't view msu as 'god's team' or that the football team is for proselytizing,
he just has a deep faith and is vocal about its impact on his life
and believe you me, he isn't going tebow
i haven't seen any chapters/verses written on kirk's eye black
can't say the same for ol' timmy boy]

back to sports
two years ago, msu's women's basketball team recruited a girl named madison williams
a 6'7" center from detroit county day,
she's was michigan's 2010 gatorade player of the year,
and made usa today's second–team all–america team
thus, she was a huge recruit for them to get
then, at the beginning of last season, she tore her right acl
she ended up sitting out the season and redshirting
cut to this season:
having recovered from her injury and surgery, and wearing a brace on her right knee,
she gets the starting center job
then, only three games into the season, she goes down and tears her left acl
and is again done for the season and will again need surgery
talk about a terrible bout of luck
i hope she can stay injury free next year
our team will really need her

speaking of basketball,
apparently the nba lockout continues unabated
i'll be the first to admit that i'm not following it,
and also that i don't give even a hundredth of a shit about it
i've never liked professional basketball, so i'm not missing out on anything
also, it feels like everyone involved is just trying to show up the nfl
after football's months–long lockout that had everyone on pins and needles,
i guess the nba was feeling left out and wanted to get some attention
news flash, pro basketball:
college basketball is better, and way more people watch it
believe me when i say that you won't be missed if you forgo this season
personally i'd prefer if you did, but that's just me

also, i just read an article correlating intelligence and heavy drinking
from what i've been able to glean from the actual articles
[which were surprisingly difficult to find]
cognitive function can be a latent factor in how often you drink
this finding is the result two decades–long studies, one in the uk and one in the us
they controlled for a huge number of demographic variables [even life satisfaction],
and found that intelligent children are more likely to develop a propensity to drink heavily
in the british study,
they found that 'dull' children are much less likely to develop that same propensity
children considered 'very dull' were .5 below standard deviation for frequent drinking,
while children considered very bright were .4 above s/d
and that result was found in both studies for all ages groups
seriously, an almost 1 pt difference between dumb and brilliant kids
when they came back to those same british kids decades later,
they found that differential had stayed virtually the same
the american results basically mirror that finding,
the only difference being that 'very bright' children were only about .25 above s/d
beyond all the pop–psychology bullshit nonsense this will foster,
there are some very interesting implications that can come out of these findings
i can't wait to see the follow up studies

IN OTHER NEWS:
a texan invented deep fried beer
deep. fried. beer.
apparently it's a bit of guinness in middle of a pretzel dough ball,
which is then dunked in 375º oil for about 20 seconds,
as repugnant as this sounds, i want to try it
anyone up for a texas road trip?

here's a fun fact:
in the last five days,
call of duty's latest iteration has grossed almost $800 MILLION dollars
...are you fucking kidding me?
it's a first person shooter that [to me] doesn't look that different from the other two
and not only is it the third modern warfare game,
it's the eighth call of duty game
sweet jesus, how many war fps can we possibly need?
call me a snob [or an idiot or what have you],
but need more than just some contrite, semi–futuristic plot to satisfy my needs as a gamer
i mean, come on, it's only set four years from now,
and it's set during world war III [...really? you're that unoriginal, activision?]
if you're gonna get an fps, get one that brings something unique to gamplay
like left4dead, half–life, portal, bioshock, fallout, SOMETHING ELSE
don't just settle for yet another call of duty game

i'm sure there's more i could cover,
but class is over and i'm hungry

ADDENDUM:
apparently i was wrong
theory #2 wasn't confirmed,
considering this post went through the roof too
i'm not sure what the hell is going on, but i don't like it

¿por qué?

2011-11-16T19:18:00.001-05:00

okay, i'm not really sure what's going on,
but this blog has been BLOWING UP on the interwubs the past two days,
and three non–sites are the reason for all the traffic
i'm not really sure what's going on,
but i have a theory [well, two actually]:
one, i accidentally got myself listed on some ad–spamming site, or
two, some ad–spamming site is leeching off the links i've been posting

i dunno why this is happening now all of a sudden,
but i'm trying to figure that out
this post is actually serving a dual purpose
not only am i giving voice to my confusion,
but i'm also experimenting with theory #2 [note the lack of links]
¡SCIENCE!

ADDENDUM:
theory #2 is confirmed

sonkasedo

2011-11-16T15:25:00.000-05:00

there is a tiny voice and it says "i love you"
on an old cassette tape, you know it
we're always older now and we still love each other,
but now we share our hearts with others

if i could tell you just one thing, it's that you're beautiful
and there's no need for changing,
like that old cassette playing over and over
until it finally sets in

and it doesn't really matter that much to me
cuz what you want for yourself isn't what i want for me
so it doesn't really matter that much to me
except when i think about your broken heart

byzantine

2011-11-15T14:18:00.000-05:00

i realize that on halloween i promised a rundown of ceremonials
[the new florence + the machine cd]
as much as i'd love to do so,
ultimately whatever words i use wouldn't do it justice
so instead, let me say this:
give this song a good listen,
and then make up your own mind about whether to get it
if your mind is like mine,
then you'll have the download queued up before the song ends

in addition to the florence post,
i've had a few other ideas floating around in my head
i've been tempted to do another music post,
offer a take on some current events
maybe even do a post on my life at the moment
[on reflection, i realized i haven't done one of those in a while]
but i think i'm gonna revert to what i harangue about best: football

also, as much as i'm temped to do so,
i won't be doing a post about the ever–worsening situation at penn state
partially because i don't feel like i have anything to add
the indictment was barely handed down before the media exploded with the story
cut to a week [A FUCKING WEEK] later,
and the amount of damage has grown exponentially
too many people are talking about it to make anything new have an effect,
and i doubt what i have to say would go over too well
so let's you and me make a deal:
you wait until some sort of case proceeding actually begins,
and i'll do my best to give you an honest appraisal of the whole thing
agreed?

so, what is there to talk about in the realm of msu sports?
just a little bit about breaking streaks,
something about win records,
and oh yeah, a game on a FUCKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER
i dunno about you, but i'm a fan of all the attention
always nice when our teams get some well–deserved notoriety

as i noted first,
the game at iowa was a streak breaker for msu football
they hadn't won there since 1989, a time when i couldn't even say the word 'football'
[which, in retrospect, is a depressing thought]
iowa had been their own particular 'house of horrors' within the big ten
[note to self: post on that?]
having lost seven straight games there,
some by embarrassingly large margins [see last year]
but now, like their losing streak at ohio state, it has come to an end
now all they've got to do is keep winning there
...if only it was that easy

also, for the second consecutive year,
msu's senior class leaves as the winningest class in football
last year it they achieved 33 wins, this year with 34
[with the possibility of four more]
i don't know about the rest of you, but i think that's pretty fucking impressive
beyond the impressive task of getting a class to that plateau
dantonio did it twice, in back–to–back years
if ever there was something to prove how much he changed the team's dynamic,
it would be this
regardless of what some will say about msu,
you can't deny that he's turned a perennial underachiever into a winner
they aren't elite, and they aren't national championship contenders
but they are upper echelon, and they are conference contenders
and that's good enough for me, for now

as a non–football aside,
if any of you didn't get to see the carrier classic game on veterans day,
man did you miss a good one
i'm really glad it lived up to its billing
yeah, they did lose, but that's how it goes when you play the #1 team
even so, they really played the shit out of that game
all in camo–patterned uniforms
even non–college basketball fans i know thought it was awesome
i'm just glad we got to be a part of it
that being said, i also hope they don't make this a thing
let it be an awesome one–time deal
just like the basketbowl, and just like the cold war
don't try to cheapen it by making it a yearly event [like everything fucking else]
just let it live on in its own right

another thing has happened lately that has been kind of surprising:
i've started rooting for michigan again
[not against msu, of course, i know where my loyalties lie]
it's not that i wasn't expecting to ever again,
it's that i wasn't expecting to do so so soon
and there's a perfectly legitimate reason to do so:
michigan playing well reflects better on msu
period

when it comes to sports, teams thrive on rivalries
it's impossible to find a sport that doesn't have them
everything from rugby to cricket [which i'm convinced isn't actually a thing] and beyond
it's what makes some teams get through the season
everything in texas is a warmup to the oklahoma game
in pittsburgh, the focus is always on west virginia,
and nothing boils the blood in washington quite like playing oregon
but beyond the inherent competitive and endorphine rush,
the competition makes the teams better all–around
consider the following:
michigan is the winningest football program in division I [both wins and win %]
ohio state is #6 in total wins and #3 in overall win %
the fact that both teams are so good is what makes the rivalry intense and watchable
would the same be true if both teams were god awful?
forget the fact that they've played each other over 100 times
would we care at all if these teams were perennial bottom feeders?
no, we wouldn't, and rightly so
the same holds true with the paul bunyan trophy

the problem for msu is relatively straightforward:
historically, they just weren't as good as michigan
[let the flaming commence]
they had an incredible period of dominance in the 1950s and '60s,
and saw a pretty decent resurgence in the late '80s and late '90s,
but the in between periods tend to languish in mediocrity,
while over the same periods michigan was consistently good
while msu did win during their down periods [like 1978 and 1990],
michigan had much more recurring success
then came the divergent year of 2007

in 2007, both teams hired new coaches
msu fired a terrible coach before the end of the season,
michigan replaced an incredibly successful coach ready to retire
and man they could not have had more difference in their impacts
mark dantonio has enjoyed success not seen since george perles in the '90s
and rich rodriguez had the most stunningly disastrous career of any michigan coach
that utter lack of success was exactly the void msu needed to further its success
if michigan hadn't floundered, i don't think msu would be as successful as it is
it offered msu better opportunities for recruiting, for serious competition,
and most of all for signature wins
[whether michigan is down and out or not,
winning in ann arbor is always a signature win]

the problem with those wins is that many see them as conditional
eloquently summed up as:
"harglblargh you guyz aren't that great pssht you suck
michigan gon' kick yer ass when they get better just you wait littel brother!!!1!1!1!!!!111
blarghlharghCOCKS"
[note: i may or may not have exagerrated that statement slightly]
and despite who usually spouts that particular wisdom,
[namely people i don't like and/or i think are stupid]
there is some truth to it
msu absolutely took advantage of michigan being the indiana kind of terrible
[seriously, michigan, the cleveland browns were better than you
it took until 2010 for you to win more games in a season than them]
but that's also to msu's credit
it would've been very much in character for msu to continue missing opportunities,
but they stepped up and actually positioned themselves to be the best team in the state
and they've done so for the past three years to great success,
culminating in last year's big ten championship
and now it's time for them to take the next step
and for them to do that, michigan needs to step up as well

with brady hoke at the helm,
michigan is finally in a position to be good again someda
[they aren't there yet, what with it being his first year and all]
and i hope that day comes sooner rather than later
i've been yearning for real, equal competition in this rivalry for a while
and i can't wait until both teams start coming into the game ranked every year
both have the past two years [overrated michigan squads aside],
and it absolutely needs to continue
that's the only real way msu erases all doubts about its legitimacy
[cuz sadly, beating notre dame is no longer good enough to do that]
and yes, playing a good michigan will invariably include us losing
but i would gladly lose to a good michigan squad if they play competitively
[and, of course, we win plenty of other games to offset the loss]
i want this interstate rivalry to smack of the iron bowl and the civil war,
not the bedlam series or notre dame–navy

so, michigan, this is your official call–to–arms
get your shit together [which you've been doing decently at thusfar],
put more quality games in your win column,
and bring it the fuck on
give us heartbreaking losses and empowering wins,
and remember that you're michigan, not the richrod academy of football shame
and give msu a team to be proud of beating [or losing to]
for all of our sakes

collation

2011-11-08T11:58:00.000-05:00

after spending the better part of a month and a half doing regular posts,
not putting anything up for a week feels really odd,
though i suppose it was inevitable
i just wasn't meant for long–term regular posting,
as evidenced by my relatively low numbers from the past four years
at any rate, here i be, ready to placate what audience i have

i had a couple different ideas about what to write for today,
but after a number of different things struck my irritation,
[including but not limited to: my inability to fucking type]
i decided that today is 'open letter day'
so please, read my ramblings
but if any of you are people this is applicable to,
i'm going to biotic kick you in the teeth

with that in mind,
let's start this off the right way:
dear bioware and creators of mass effect:
stop making such addicting games
i'm already facing the prospect of not being able to play mass effect 3
if i find out that it puts the previous to games to shame,
garrus–envy–rage boner is going to rage fuck you TO. DEATH.
so please, keep doin' what chu doin'
but for the sake of my sanity, don't keep talking about it,
kthnxbai

dear people everywhere:
if we're in a narrow stairway and you people are walking two–abreast,
it means i can't fucking get around you
thus, when i glare at you for being in my way,
don't get pissy, just move out and let me by
it's pretty simple, especially with that 'keep to the right' mantra
in fact, you should be doing it all the time
if for some reason that strikes you as bizarre and alien,
i refer you to the following training video: sidewalking, by michael jordan
[the cool one, not the basketball player]
the beginning is especially succinct at getting my point across
kthnxbai fuck you

dear american citizens,
today is election day,
that means it's time to enact one of those constitutional liberties
as much as i believe in doing some measurable amount of civic duty,
just remember this little tidbit:
if you vote for something/someone, and it turns out to be shit
that burden is on YOU
and you don't get to bitch about it, because you facilitated its existence
so please, make good decisions today in the voting booth
cuz god knows no one else is gonna
kthnxbai

speaking of voting,
dear citizens of ohio:
please make sure you repeal sb5 by voting 'no' on issue 2
under most prevailing circumstances i would keep my politics to myself
but come on
i don't really care what your opinion of unions and organized labor is,
any time you restrict workers ability to voice themselves is a serious transgression
if you aren't allowed to strike and aren't allowed to bargain collectively in good faith,
you lose the ability to speak out if your employer is transgressing you
again, regardless of your opinions on labor, that's what those are meant to do
allow you to speak out against things you believe to unfair at work
and doing this to public employees is a SERIOUS limitation of rights
if the government is your employer, and you aren't allowed to protest its treatment of you,
it gives off a vibe that's dangerously close to limiting freedom of speech
and if that wasn't enough,
certain public employees are being pinged to contribute more to their health benefits,
namely public employees that are currrently unionized:
police/fire/emergency, health care workers, teachers, municipal employees, &c
again, regardless of your opinion on organized labor,
i think we can all agree that those are people who often fall are subject to:
understaffing/overworking, being underpaid, and having sometimes hazardous work conditions
i don't know about the rest of you,
but if ANYONE on this earth shouldn't have to pay for health care benefits [at all],
it would be people like that
if you save people from fires, take down criminals, administer health care,
teach/deal with kids, and keep our government running day–to–day,
your employer [said government] should at the very least pay for your healthcare
so, long rant short, you many want to repeal this law
[unless of course all that strikes you as hunky–dory,
in which case don't, but again, i don't want to hear about it if you don't like it]
kthnxbai

[also, for disclosure purposes,
i linked to that site because the bill only comes in pdf form
you can download it from the ohio legislature's website if you so desire]

now that i got that off my chest,
let's get back to it, shall we?

dear professors who lecture quietly:
if i can't hear you, i can't learn
simple as that
and if i can't hear you, and i ask for you to speak louder,
i don't appreciate snide responses and looks
it's your goddamn job to be audible so i can figure out what the hell you're talking about
especially if it's something i know nothing about
so please, do me a goddamn favor and project,
don't make me give you a lesson in diaphragmatic control
kthnxbai

[ADDENDUM:
dear professors who make interesting things boring:
i will slay you if you do it again
kthnxbai]

dear sports media:
i hate to interrupt whatever sec deep–throating you're doing at the moment,
but i gotta tell ya, the lsu–alabama game hardly lived up to the hype
yes, it was an incredible defensive display
but it was offensively woeful
seriously, neither team got more than 300 total offensive yards?
they combined for 8/24 3rd down conversions?
they both threw two interceptions?
alabama was 2/6 on field goal attempts [are you fucking kidding me]?
lsu's two quarterbacks were 9/17 for 91 yards?
call me a snob but that sounds like a mediocre–encroaching–on–bad game
so much for a titanic duel of the nation's two best teams
i dunno about the rest of you, but this game fails to live up to the 1 v. 2 standard
i'd rather see the 2006 michigan–ohio state game again
the 1996 florida–florida state game
the 1971 nebraska–oklahoma game
the 1945 army–navy game
or the 1966 michigan state–notre dame game
basically, ANY OTHER 1/2 MATCHUP EVER
so shut the hell up about it already
kthnxbai

back to a serious note,
dear penn state alumni/fans [myself included]:
i understand that this has been the week from hell for you,
and i am in no way diminishing the severity of what's been alleged,
but you've got to take a breath and step back
there's no way to say to say this diplomatically, so here goes:
don't take your anger out on the wrong people, namely joe paterno
yes he has given you plenty of reasons to hold him to a higher standard,
namely decades of the most successful student–athletes in the ncaa,
but you also have to consider his relationship with the accused
this was a man he's known for almost 40 years,
someone he trusted with the care and training of his football team
and someone who apparently has some rather disturbing sexual predilictions
which are now suddenly being paraded for public outrage
do more than put yourself in his position for a minute
what if this scenario happened to you?
what if someone you trusted dearly and were decades–long friends with did this?
despite all your revulsion and shock and anger and sadness,
could you throw them out on their ass like our penal system requires?
i don't blame him for not wanting to make that decision himself
i don't know that i could do that were i in his situation
i'm not absolving him of his culpability, because he is culpable
but that is not for me or you to decide
if it's ultimately found that paterno was involved in the coverup,
and/or that he was responsible for shielding the guy to some extent,
then paterno will step down, whether he wants to or not
because it will be required of him
but you've got to let the process play itself out
because that's what it's there for
it will be hard, and you will probly endure lots of disgust and shame before it's done
but you cannot indict him before/in lieu of the courts
so please, for your own sake as well as my own,
be penn state proud, and let this process proceed to its inevitable conclusion
we will all be the better for it
kthnxbai

horst

2011-11-01T17:21:00.001-04:00

[today's post is brought to you by: awkwardrealizations.com™]
i found out walking to class that my mustache is longer than i thought
parts of it can actually touch my chin without being pulled
now that i no longer have to grow my beard out to be opie
it's time to kick off no–shave november right:
with a goddamn trim

for the record, i don't participate in no–shave november
partially because i haven't shaved since 2006
so fuck all of you and your worthless 'months'
if you were real men you'd just grow a beard and be done with it,
and not do it under some idiot pretense
especially since your equating yourselves with people who shouldn't grow facial hair
namely guys who have splotchy stubble, guys with porn staches,
and this bag of douche
so just remember ladies and gentlemen
those worthy of beard shall be endowed with its grace
and those who are not shall be resigned to shaving forevermore
and NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET, MOTHERFUCKERS
so for fuck's sake, enough with no–shave november

moving right along,
if i ever, EVER find out who designed earbuds to be like this
i'm going to retroactively stab them in the eardrum
how in the name of auditory happyness is it supposed to stay in my ear?
seriously, seriously, what's the trick?
i got a pair of earbuds with that design about a month ago
apparently ignorant of my upcoming strife
and have been battling with them every since
i've tried all three different silicone attachments,
but they all just fall out of my ear after about five second of half–assed attempts
i refuse to accept their halfassery,
but i know not how to rectify this situation
does anyone have some sort of epiphanic solution?
or is this the fate i've been consigned to?
because i fucking REFUSE to be bested by a piece of plastic shit
you won this round skullcandy, but you shan't win the war

[here's a question for those of you who've read my writing for a long time:
is my writing style really confusing?
after reading that last paragraph, i'm inclined to think it is
i'll use increasingly abstruse words like epiphanic and shan't (and abstruse)
with increasingly awkward syntactical structure
and then just start swearing for a while before i move on
believe me when i say it's an accurate representation of the way i normally speak,
but i feel like it loses its subtle beauty when i put it in type
any comments from the blogasaurs would be welcome
(apparently that's a thing now)]

in other news,
espn has spent the ENTIRE. FUCKING. DAY. covering lsu's football team
the entire. fucking. day.
as in, 24 hours of highlighting a singular football team
and boy have they been thorough:
they've dedicated time to lsu's dual–qb system [one they lambasted],
their ability to overcome their myriad off–the–field issues,
[and, btudbs, their myriad off–the–field issues]
an appraisal of the entire lsu tigers program
and even les miles's ridiculous habit of chewing on grass
beyond the obvious unfairness to alabama preceding their matchup,
is this really fucking warranted?
i understand that every sports media personality gives lip service sec teams,
[and by that i mean they suck sec cock so deep it wears their appendices as hats]
but this is going WAY overboard
this isn't even the end of their goddamn season
it's only week fucking 9 for them
apparently they've already decided that lsu's our national champ
at least they saved us the stress of having to watch them play
how thoughtful of them
hey espn, can you do something for me?
exhale that long stripy tiger cock from your esophagus,
and report on actual sports news, would ya please?
i know this is your normal m/o,
but i appreciate it when you at least give it a slight veil of legitimacy
sincerely,
EVERY NON–LSU FAN EVER

speaking of espn,
this was a story they had on their front page around noon
i enjoyed the story less than i enjoyed the top comment:
"bad comparison. the mafia has more consistency in carrying out its discipline."
sad, harsh, and very true

as a parting wish,
i want all of you to go get a copy of the new florence + the machine cd RIGHT NOW
it's fantastic and something you won't regret in the slightest
in fact, it's so very much something you won't regret,
i'm gonna spend my entire next post telling you why you won't
so there
...
well? go fucking do it
I SEE YOU SITTING THERE NOT DOING IT

chamkar leu

2011-10-31T20:03:00.001-04:00

[this first paragraph is brought to you by shamelessselfpromotion.com™]
this month holds two notable events for zis blog:
—this particular post is number 300, making it officially the longest blog i've kept
—i got 1000 pageviews in one month [way to go, october]
i'd say i feel like i've broken into the bigtime, but i know i haven't
i probly just got more visitors due to the INSANE amount of links i posted
so worry not blogasaurs,
my humility and modesty is intact

[after writing that,
i'm REALLY tempted to call you readers blogasaurs
but i shall resist, because i need not label you
however, if ever there is a reference to 'blogasaurs' in the future
you'll know what i'm refering to]

i realize that most of my recent posts have been ranty and opinionated
and while it's not an inaccurate description of me in my normal state,
i need to break it up some in order to keep it from getting old hat
so not ranty opinions today, folks
just a long and unabbreviated status update

i've hit crunch time with my thesis,
in that i have just about one calendar month to get it done
i'm not stressing about it [not yet, at least]
but i am kind of excited for it
i'm interested to see how i put all these ideas together on paper
and what kind of argument i'll actually be making
[i know the basics, for the record,
but i dunno how their gonna manifest into an overall milieu]
i got a hold of a few more interesting books and documents
so hopefully they'll prove useful instead of a time waster
but it's at the point where i need to spend more time writing
which is gonna be a fun roller coaster of productivity and procrastination
[like my normal writing process,
only with more at stake]
let's see how the month shakes out, shall we?

in other news,
carter roommate brought up a great point last night:
how am i gonna get my mass effect 3 fix come march?
seeing as how i am sans xbox 360, tv, and likely me3
dear god do i hope i have some sort of job come january
cuz damn, i dunno how i'm gonna make it without
especially since MAX PAYNE FUCKING 3 comes out in march too
it's gonna be tough going if i don't have access to it
[this is where i'd put in an obnoxious hashtag reference]

also?
there was a disheartening lack of costumes on campus today
i dunno why, especially since past halloweens have had plenty of costumes
but this year there was a notable lack
maybe it was because halloween was on a monday this year
but seryusly, WAY TO FAIL MSU STUDENTS
i felt like such a standout with my opie cut on
[approximation of what i look like here and here]
especially sitting in the law library all afternoon
but you know what?
it's fucking halloween, and i'll do as i damn well please

glen canyon

2011-10-30T21:56:00.001-04:00

so,
after a bit of a breakdown in lincoln,
[and by that i mean a three touchdown beatdown]
msu took a bit of a nosedive in the bcs
they dropped six spots down to #17
wisconsin, on the other hand, has plummted 14 spots in two weeks [to #20],
thanks to two back–to–back close losses to msu and ohio state
nebraska, michigan, and penn state are all up in the bcs rankings
moving up four, three, and three spots respectively
iowa mindblowingly lost again to MINNESOTA [!]
[btdubs, the last time minnesota got back–to–back wins on ANYONE was 2008/9
when they beat purdue twice in a row
the last quality opponent they beat twice in a row was penn state in 2003/4]
northwestern finally got a big ten win,
illinois's on a three–game backslide
indiana remains winless in the big ten,
and the legends division is very much up for grabs
such is the state of big ten football in week 10

i realize this is gonna seem like a weird time to do this,
but i really don't give a shit
i wanted to wait until october was done before doing any sort of prediction
mostly because october is the month where you learn who teams really are,
and when you see what they're actually capable of
also because october is when everyone gets proved wrong
and i'd rather have something to base my claims on
so, let's get to it

first off, my big ten championship prediction:
michigan state v. penn state

and how do we get there?
through my division predicitons, of course

of all the teams in the legends division,
msu has the best shot of going 4–0 in november
michigan has to go to iowa and ohio state, and host nebraska
nebraska has to go to penn state and michigan, and host iowa
iowa has to host msu and michigan, and then go to nebraska
while msu goes to iowa and northwestern, and hosts minnesota and indiana
with the exception of iowa, those are all teams msu's beaten recently
and msu is extremely capable of handling them this time around as well
[iowa will be a challenge for msu, since iowa : msu :: msu : wisconsin
that is to say, msu hasn't won there since 1989, aka SINCE I WAS BORN]
plus, if msu goes 4–0 in november, they'll be 7–1 in big ten play, 4–1 in conference
only nebraska and michigan would be able to match that,
and msu holds the tiebreaker over michigan
so, i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say msu does finish the season undefeated
and that michigan beats nebraska in three weeks
thus, we have msu winning the division

the leaders side is a little bit more intriguing
penn state has the toughest closing schedule in the big ten,
[hosting nebraska, at ohio state, and at wisconsin]
but all three of those teams are beatable,
especially against a defense as good as penn state's
wisconsin's is a bit easier, closing at illinois then penn state
and ohio state closes at penn state then michigan
i'm not sold on ohio state at all,
they barely beat wisconsin, they've only won on the road against illinois,
and their home schedule otherwise has been a cakewalk [msu excepted]
wisconsin has an easier closing slate than penn state,
and they do get to host penn state at the end of the season,
but they've had real problems playing teams as good as them
way in the lead they're fine, but in a close game they've choked twice in a row
maybe that'll translate to finishing the season strong,
but i think it's more likely that they stumble once more
so, with all that in mind,
i expect to see penn state win out in november,
especially since their offense finally seems to be stepping up,
and their defense has been playing like the penn state of lore
which puts them in indy in december opposite msu

now, with both of the divisions decided come the championship prediciton
msu over penn state [no score; that's the one thing i don't predict]
that game would ultimately come down to who has the better offense
and that title absolutely belongs to msu
msu's offense has been much more productive than penn state's,
and it's proven that it can step up if the defense can't [see the wisconsin game]
whereas penn state's defense has been bailing out its offense
especially against iowa and illinois
this isn't to say that msu's offense or penn state's defense will fall by the wayside,
it's to say that msu's offense stands a greater chance of success
especially in the spot where experience matters most: at quarterback
mcgloin's had some impressive moments in the past few weeks,
but i'd much rather rely on a consistent and solid player like cousins
and so, when all is said and done,
i predict msu will raise whatever trophy the big ten makes for its first championship game

LET THE SCREAMING COMMENCE
[also, this is my official prediction,
so feel free to hold me to it]

in other news,
my costume this halloween has been a rip–roarin' success
i haven't gotten compliments like this since i was solid snake [see here and here]
if a good photo is taken of me as opie before the week is out,
i would be glad to share it with you fine folks
keep your fingers crossed

ADDENDUM
i came to an annoying revelation after i posted this
apparently i'm not the only one who has this same prediction
the espn bloggers think almost the exact same way i do,
along with a few other college sports media types
so, just to be clear, this one was all me
i'm not copying other people to seem cool or like i know what i'm talking about
[which, for the record, i do]
so consider it circumstantial and nothing more, hokay?

grand meadow

2011-10-29T18:55:00.001-04:00

two quick things before i finally begin my halloweekend:

[i preface this by reminding you that i am one of you]
hey mid–atlantics/new englanders:
guess what? weather fucking happens
quit acting like this october snowstorm is the end of days
the fact is that you guys got snow in october
GET THE FUCK OVER IT, WOULD YOU PLEASE?
for christ's sake, michigan gets snow nearly every october
[except for this one apparently;
i will admittedly say that it's weird you got snow and we didn't]
so, put on your big boy/girl pants and quit yer bitchin'
chances are you've got plenty more a–comin' before the season's through
so just enjoy the nice wintery weather,
take a few extra minutes to make sure you're driving safely,
and get on with your lives
and please, leave the complaining about weather to californians
it is, after all, what they do best

... i have now forgotten the second thing
goddamn it, i knew that would happen
let's hope i remember it before i have to leave

ah, yes, i remember now:
baseball is officially done
apparenly st louis decided to win the world series in game seven,
denying us the chance to be rid of that boring sport a week ago
i know there are baseball fans out there
i'm sure there's at least one who trolls my ramblings
but seriously, and i mean this in the least judgmental way possible:
your sport is boring, it's playoff is boring
and your championship is boring
and it's on ALL THE TIME
seryusly, your season has 162 FUCKING GAMES over SIX MONTHS
what kind of self–respecting bullshit is that?
football fans have to wait EIGHT MONTHS for 16 GAMES
[or in college, 12–14 games]
college basketball has to wait SEVEN MONTHS for 30
you've been monopolizing the sports channels for waaaaaaaaay too long
so please, gtfo of my sports world
and let me watch my college basketball and football in peace
also, please have a lockout next spring so i can see less of you
kthnxbai

[in completely unrelated news,
florence + the machine's new cd comes out monday
best get yourself prepared for it
god knows i am]

logomania

2011-10-27T14:29:00.002-04:00

i have no idea why this is a goddamn story,
but bob kraft is pissed off at rob gronkowski
why? because he took a photo [yes, it's sfw] with a porn actress [relax, it's to espn]
those of us with any semblance of maturity will probly respond with "...so?"
but i must remind you folks, and i cannot stress this enough
bob kraft has no such sense
in all his years as owner of the patriots [full since '94, partial since '85],
he's been prone to childish and boorish behavior
partially because he's, ya know, bob kraft
so this whole 'blown out of proportion' thing shouldn't come as a surprise

the short version of this latest debacle is this:
gronkowski went to the university of arizona,
said porn start [bibi jones] went to the self–same university,
and apparently they have a mutual friend or two
since porn stars are regular people two, bibi's a fan of football
[or, at the very least, a fan of his]
so they posed for a couple photos while they were both in arizona,
and she posted them to her twitter account
because [unsurprisingly] she has more followers than he does
i dunno about you guys,
but i think his only lapse in judgment is the way he posed
he kinda looks like a broski douchebag
which seems to be a recurring theme

in other news, i find myself in a listy mood
i also find myself wanting to talk about football again
so, in the spirit of compromise, i'll do both
cuz who doesn't love a nice, clear cut, rage inducing list?
so let's get to it

today i shall be presenting the 10 best college logos, but with a twist:
no words, no letters, just actual logos [so no block m, no ou, no block s, &c]
why, you might ask?
because i appreciate and value creativity,
and what better way to show it by having an instantly recognizable symbol?
so, i took a good hard romp through division 1 [fbs and fcs]
to bring you the best non–word logos
[note: i will be including logos that include words if they are also used without
for example, missouri's logo is used both with and without the block m
thus, i could include the second one (even though it has writing at the bottom)
also, if a logo includes writing in it, but it is not the focal point of the logo,
it will also be considered a straight up logo (like maryland]
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:

honorable mentions:
siu edwardsville, southeastern louisiana, niu, youngstown state, and eastern washington
chances are that you haven't seen most of these logos before,
but that doesn't diminish their value
sometimes the best things languish in obscurity,
and that certainly holds true for these logos
siu e's logo is really slick, surprisingly so for such a small school [it's a cougar, btdubs]
s/e louisiana's is by far the best lion logo i've seen in division I
i give niu props because their husky is not only stylized,
it actually looks like the animal it's supposed to be
[as opposed to, say, kansas state's wildcat or delaware's hen]
eastern washington took a cue from wazzu and made their logo their acronym,
but they managed to make theirs look better
and finally, how can you not love a school who's mascot is a penguin?
especially one wearing a scarf and hat?

DA LIST:
#10 – san jose state
again, this is a logo you may not have seen before
but damn does it look cool
i think it's the mix of influence and originality that does it for me
there's obviously a little bit of influence from usc and msu in there
[especially since they made this iteration in 2000]
but they also took strides to make it their own,
like giving it sharper, more precise edges, and using both colors in the plume
the only real downside for sjsu is that their teams aren't particularly notable
which means they don't have much brand recognition
so for now, they'll have to take comfort in knowing their logo is bitchin'

#9 – arizona state
of all the redone logos of the past decades,
arizona state's is, in my opinion, the most successful
the previous sparky logo was really just kinda weird [and that mustache? creepy]
but the new trident is just sweet
what makes it work it is that they based it on a simple design,
and didn't go nuts with the embellishments
plus, they went back to a two–color scheme, which makes it much easier on the eyes
[cuz more colors can be a bit much, right florida and uab?
overall, it's a sleek design that'll go a long way
plus, it looks BADASS on their new football uniforms

#8 – usf
i've always been a sucker for cleverly used letters and words in logos,
and this one is by far one of the very best
it's not exactly subtle, but it looks great, and that's all you can really hope for
i think what makes it so good is the fact that they didn't anthropomorphize the bull
they could've made it more bull–like like buffalo,
[which, by the way, is a great logo in its own right]
but i think they made the right choice in encorporating the 'u'
in a league with such bland logos as syracuse and rutgers
usf's really stands out
plus, if usf football keeps it's meteoric rise going
we're gonna start seeing it everywhere

#7 – mizzou
regardless of what league or sport you follow
there is no lack of sports teams with tiger logos
which means that we are flooded with every stupid tiger logo ever made
but the one that always stood out to me was mizzou's
first off, it actually looks like a tiger
and secondly, it actually looks good
those two characteristics are notably lacking in most of the other tigers
plus, it looks like it's out for blood
[as opposed lsu's old one, which looks vaguely retarded
or memphis's, which looks like it's playing with something]
i have a little less to say about this one than the others,
but my liking mainly comes down to the fact that it just works

#6 – uconn
again, there are a number of huskies in the world of sports
but none so iconic as that beautiful blue husky of uconn
every college basketball fan in the country knows this logo,
especially during my lifetime,
in which men's/women's teams won 8 of the last 13 national championships
which is fucking absurd [in the good way]
the husky itself is a just a great work of art
they kept the stylizing muted, they bucked the trend of 'angry eyes'
[which has gotten RIDICULOUS in the past ten years
in what universe to dolphins, ducks, and chickens have angry eyes?]
and they threw in a nice splash of red to accent the blue and white
maybe it's because i was born and raised a huskies fan,
but uconn has one of the best animal logos out there

#5 – florida state
this logo is my main reason for involving that exception of included writing
cuz what greatest logos list would be complete without the seminoles?
college football fans will immediately recognize this one,
thanks in no small part to fsu's reign of dominance in the '90s
the screaming seminole is as cool as it is uniquethe facepaint, the hair feather with the school name
and the incorporation of the colors combine to make a really sweet look
plus, the more unique a logo is, the more it sticks in your mind
and instant recognition goes a long way towards distinguishing good from great
it was also one of the only native american logos to survive the ncaa axe
[unlike chief illinwek and the fighting sioux]
leaving florida state as one of the only remaining acceptable logos
and i, for one, and sure glad they did

#4 – southern california
reticent as i am to admit it,
usc's trojan makes it here by virtue of it's exceptional athletic history
every football fan has seen this logo at some point,
probly during a usc beatdown of their favorite team
its been that way since the early 1970s
and has had some of the best staying power of any college logo
it's design can be a bit dizzying at times [especially if you stare at it too long]
but there's no getting by the classic design
it really raised the bar in logo design
and it's influence can be seen in any number of helmet logos to this day
hard to beat a pedigree like that

#3 – michigan state
again, this may be a little bit biased
but again, it's one that college basketball fans will instantly recognize
along with an ever–growing college football fanbase
what makes the spartan helmet work so well is the clean-cut design:
one color, sharp edges, and a simple design with a few well–chosen stylish accents
[and, by the way, it looks just as good in white
the only other logo i can think of that looks good in two different colors is iowa]
it stands out in a way that few logos do,
AND it's one of the oldest helmet logos still in use
in fact, the original spartan helmet was created in 1965
a full six years before the usc trojan
[i have no idea if msu's influenced the creating of usc's at all,
but in my own mind, i like to think it did]
and this one's been in use since 1977
and there's just no escaping its brilliance

#2 – clemson
i have to put clemson high on this,
because seriously, this logo is fucking brilliant
while other colleges spent their time and energy making weird looking tigers,
clemson decided one up them all and use an actual tiger to make theirs
they took a mold of a paw print from tiger at a nearby zoo,
and used that as the basis for their logo
and i gotta say, it looks great
even with all the little lines around the edges of the print,
it's simple design makes it one of the best
everyone and their brother has used this logo at some point it seems
even mid michigan youth football programs have it on their helmets
if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,
then clemson should feel pretty goddamn flattered

#1 – penn state
yup, i did it
i forewent texas, florida, kansas state, and iowa for the nittany lions
and i don't give a shit
if you've watched college football in the past EVER, you know this logo
even if you're only a casual observer, you've seen it crop up
and damn is it a good one
like the best designs, it uses only two colors
and the design is simple with a few choice embellishments
it's far and away the best big cat logo out there,
[which does actually put it up against some stiff competition]
and represents one of the most visible and well–known athletic schools
couple all that with being unchanged for the past 30 years,
and you've got yourself a winning formula
for me, there is no other number one but penn state

[btdubs, this list took a metric shit–tonne of time to put together
i think i might've set a personal record with it
i started it four days ago]

LET IT [the screaming] BEGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

meriadeg

2011-10-26T16:19:00.000-04:00

i saw this article earlier today when i was scouting around the sports media
[for the record, i'm not really sure when i picked up that habit,
especially considering my disdain for said sports media]
and i found it a really interesting read
not because of what it reports [conflict between jim delany and mark hollis]
but rather who this guy talks to in getting this story
if the people he cites are actually in the positions he claims,
[something i'm always skeptical of]
what kind of duality is jim delany cultivating?
granted, i've been a pretty big fan of him since i started following the big ten,
especially when it comes to selling the conference and establishing btn,
but this does provide some interesting questions

also, and i say this as a spartan fan,
i'm completely aware of the writer's obvious msu bias
especially when downplaying gholston's penalties,
along with elevating the dirtiness of tayler lewan
that being said, he does raise some intersting points
give it a read here

what say you, sports fans?

deuteragonist

2011-10-23T03:08:00.000-04:00

christ in a cock bucket that was a ridiculous game
but now that i've at least come down from that euphoric high,
i might actually be able to relay coherent thoughts
and talk about the game like the ~~giddy schoolgirl~~ manly bearded man i am
yup, that's right
MICHIGAN STATE–WISCONSIN REDUX TIEM

[as a preëmptive warning,
troll me and i will kick your ass
this isn't espnchat, this is serious shit]

msu 37, wisconsin 31
i think the most notable thing about this game was the scoring pendulum
both teams managed to blow 14–point leads at different points,
with wisconsin blowing a 14–0 lead, and msu blowing a 31–17 lead
it's not common to see that happen once,
but twice? c'mon now, that's some rare shit
i would say it's sadly typical for msu to do such a thing
but we no longer live in the days of bobby williams, john l, and the 'same old spartans'
which means msu was able to care of its business
albeit in an incredibly desperate and frenetic way

a lot of the comments about the game revovled around msu's lack of penalties
but i don't think that's really the stat to be talking about
[and i DON'T want to hear complaints about refs missing calls
i will unreservedly admit that the refs missed calls on both teams
but that happens in every. single. game in college football
so don't act like this was an egrigious one–time scandal]
i think wisconsin's six penalties is a much more telling statistic
three of those penalties were false starts
[which shows that they were uncharacteristically jumpy]
one of them was just a bad choice [the safety]
and one of them was completely unnecessary [the personal foul]
i think those fouls show that our team and atmosphere was getting to them
and were being more disruptive to their normal scheme than they were expecting
intimidation is just as much of a factor as talent
and i think this game showed what happens when wisconsin feels intimidated

another stat that was brought up was the amount of yards wisconsin gained
443, or roughly 370 more than our average coming into the game
lots were down on how much the badgers rolled over the spartans' d
BUT, i happen to remember a tidbit of a prediction i saw,
which noted that wisconsin's d was ranked basically on par with msu's
which means, in theory, that they should've held msu for less than 200 yards
when, in actuality, msu gained twice that at 399
so while msu's defense gave up a lot of yardage, wisconsin's did too
and i think it's pretty indicative of another issue of theirs:
they don't know how to handle being behind
this was the first game wisconsin more than one drive behind
[the only predecessor was when they hosted nebraska:
nebraska scored first, then they answered,
nebraska scored again, then they rattled off three scores just cuz they could]
it's something they're gonna have to address
granted, wisconsin's d stepped up in a big way in the second half
but they can't have that kind of drought if they want to stay competitive
just cuz they came back this time doesn't mean they'll always be able to

i think the key to this whole game was msu's ability to contain russell wilson
seriously, that kid is a fucking stud at qb
he'd only played six games with wisconsin, but already had:
95/128 completions for 1557 yds, a 210.9 passer rating, 74.2% completion average
so naturally, pat narduzzi decided to go after him
and msu kept him to season lows for completion %, passer rating,
and tripled his interception numbers
it also didn't hurt that kirk cousins stepped up and played like he usually does
i really don't see why everyone was so down on him this year
i'm sorry that he can't reach the absurdly lofty expectations some people desire,
but i'd rather have a dependable, solid qb than a showy one anyday
and today, that 'rather' paid off big time

finally, that last touchdown
that last glorious, improbable heave
the drive leading up to it was sloppy as shit, i'll admit
and i'll admit that i was afraid of a fourth quarter collapse,
but if there's anyone, ANYONE, to blame for that lose
it should be bret bielema, not the officials,
and there really shouldn't be any blame for bielema in the first place
his strategy wasn't unsound, in fact dantonio had done the same thing
don't let the other team run out the clock,
force them to make plays while on the field,
and then get a turnover on downs and do what you gotta do
it's a pretty standard strategy for those last two minute drills
so, in light of the game's ending,
you could argue that poor clock management gave them msu that hail mary opportunity
and thus won them the game
but that's kind of a specious argument
had that pass not been caught, bielema would've gotten praise for his decisions
he just had the unlucky fortune of being on the losing side of that pass

as for the last pass and td itself,
i defer to the officials
because a] they get paid to officiate, b] they actually are neutral
and c] i'm not gonna play that idiotic 'what if' game
that's by far one of the most irritating things fans do [and yes, msu fans included]
"yeah, well, if that one play had gone differently, then blah blah &c"
bullshit. bullshit nonsense.
a typical justification response from people unwilling to accept outcomes
so yes, wisconsin could've batted that pass down,
but they didn't
michigan could've kept driving in the 4th quarter instead of throwing the pick 6
and yet, they didn't
and so we are left not with what 'could've happened', or 'should've happened'
but what actually did fucking happen
i understand wanting to dissect and analyze the game,
but please, just let the game be the game
if you didn't like the refs call on the hail mary, so be it
but don't get your panties in a twist and go off the deep end about
shit happens, man, and teams lose in the last seconds sometimes
god knows i've watched my teams do that enough times
[yes msu, i AM looking at you]

in other words, the officials saw it, reviewed it, and called it like it was
we got lucky that nichols caught the deflection and pushed in
we got lucky that he got just enough of the ball to break the plane
and we got lucky that the refs felt it was indisputable evidence
yes, it is luck, and it was on our side
it's not a conspiracy, it's not a scandal, it's not karma or fate or what have you
it was luck, and this time it was on msu's side
have a good scream, take a breath, and then get over it
[that goes retroactively for you too, fairweather/walmart wolverines fans
god knows no one holds a pissy grudge like you guys do]

in short, damn was that a good game
i think the last game i enjoyed that much was the 2009 msu/iowa game
you know, the one msu lost in the LAST TWO SECONDS
man, that game was a great defensive showcase
that's what i enjoy most about big ten football,
a great, hard–hitting, defensive game by two smashmouth teams
and this one certainly fit that description

as a side note, both wisconsin and oklahoma lost tonight,
along with west virginia last night,
and south carolina had a bye week
which means that msu might just sneak into the #10 spot
it'd take some finangling and some leapfrogging of other teams,
but i'm gonna hold out hope regardless
last–second–yet–decisive wins against top ten opponets mean a lot
definitely more than blowout wins over terrible teams
[yeah, that means you oklahoma state, clemson, oregon, and kansas state]
so i think there's a distinctive possibility we crack the bcs top ten list
only 17 before we find out

grungy

2011-10-20T14:02:00.002-04:00

can you say weird news week? cuz i can
WEIRD NEWS WEEK
—Mu'ammar al–Qaddafi is either dead, captured, or both
—after months of angry stonewalling, carson palmer finally got traded
—legal teams from the uk and us are argued the declaration of independence's legality
—some random guy in ohio had a 50+ menagerie of wild animals on his farm
—israeli soldier gilad shalit was released after 5 years in a palestinian prison
—nicholas sarkozy is the first french president to have a child during his term
—eta has declared a ceasefire to its armed resistance campaign [!]
methinks some crazy shit is going down

i'm gonna go ahead and deviate wildly from my last blog topic
and talk about music for a tic
mostly because i don't care much about what's happening in football this week
[beyond the carson palmer trade, which just made me confused,
nothing of note has really happened]
so instead, i'm going to proffer a list and some opinions,
cuz really, why not?
if you've stuck with me and continued reading my rants,
you either enjoy my opinions or are continuously enraged by them
so i might as well keep exploiting whichever emotion keeps you coming back

as some of you may know
[and as you all will shortly be made aware if you don't]
one of my favorite musical genres is grunge
being a child of the 90s and susceptible to my parents' musical tastes
[which, by the way, are fucking AWESOME]
i grew up listening to it,
which is why it holds such a special, unwashed place in my alternative heart
though there have been a plethora of really talented grunge musicians,
the singers are what have always stood out to me
the vocal quality of grunge is unlike most,
and those who really captured it are some of my favorite singers EVAR
and so, i present you with my top five grunge singers, plus honorable mentions
[as a side note, i'm not including any post–grunge singers on this list,
no paul mccoy, ed kowalczyk, kevin matisyn, or shimon ward
because, as much as i love them, there's a reason they're called 'post–grunge'
and this list is about the originals, and not the follow–ups
so yeah, let's get to it]

honorable mention #1: ben mcmillan [gruntruck]
unfortunately for ben, gruntruck is not a band most know
and though i could easily pull out the hipster card of 'i knew of them before you did',
i shan't, because there's no place for trust–fund hipster kids in grunge
but, that doesn't diminish the quality of his singing
gruntruck, like most of my favorite grunge bands, found their influence in metal
which meant that ben had metal–style vocals
i've always been a sucker for that particular brand of grunge,
and though he's not stellar, he has a really solid quality that fit their sound
his style was also pretty influential among later singers
so it's always good to give a nod to pioneers

honorable mention #2: kurt cobain [nirvana]
i can only imagine the shit i'm gonna catch from those with nirvana boners
but i'm gonna stick by this, because fuck you
now, nirvana is considered one of the seminal grunge bands,
and arguably the first to become popular in the mainstream
[though you could make equally strong cases for soundgarden and alice in chains]
though his vocals didn't have much to do with that
yeah, he's got a great rasp to his voice
but he's not a particularly great singer when he needs to be
and he doesn't have the strength needed to carry a good tune
again, it fits his band's sound, but it's not standout
so while i acknowledge his influence [especially his fashion sense]
i can't put him in with the best

now that i've got your dander up, let's get to it

#5: carrie akre [hammerbox]
sad as i am to say it, there really aren't any good female grunge singers
courtney love [hole] was okay for about five minutes before she cracked out
donita sparks [l7] never really had it
and i've never really been a fan of selene vigil [7 year bitch]
but, there is one gal who can stand toe–toe–toe with the guys: carrie akre
hammerbox was more on the alt–rock side of grunge,
and carrie captured that sound with her style of vocals
and unlike most of her contemporaries, she can actually sing
albeit it with a little too much edge at times
[it's a shame that hammerbox never really found popular success
cuz they're pretty good out of the studio too]
anyway, back to carrie
what i find most endearing about carrie is that, unlike most other grunge musicians,
she kept singing with different bands over the years
which means that she actually grew as a musician when lots of others just quit
you gotta respect someone who's that dedicated to their craft
she may not do much grunge these days, but i'm all right with that

#4: gavin rossdale [bush]
here's the second [or third] choice that's probly gonna get some flared tempers
i, unlike a surprising number of people i know, actually like bush
which means, unlike said number of people, i like gavin rossdale,
and i'll tell you why
like kurt, gavin has a raspy edge to his voice that fits his band perfectly
[although, not unlike eddie, went not–in–the–good–way crazy with their music]
but unlike kurt, he also has the ability to belt with emotion
and, when need be, do both in the same song
i know that bush flamed out kinda fast after they released 'sixteen stone',
but it's hard to deny the talent that gavin has
especially when you couple it with those flowing locks and broody eyes
i will acknowledge that gavin does have some rigidity in his style
notably his inability to not sing the exact same way in most of bush's songs
[not unlike brian johnson of ac/dc]
but damn it, when he's on, he's on

#3: scott weiland [stone temple pilots]
scott, along with my top 2 picks, has one of the quintessential voice of grunge
seriously, when you hear him sing, you always know exactly who it is
whether its one of their most well–known songs
that song that no one fucking remembers the name of
or the song that you always forget is actually them
there's no mistaking scott's voice
what makes scott unique among grunge singers is his versatility
their first album, core, is very much in a heavy metal/hard rock style
while their next album, purple, encorporates a more straightforward rock style
and shangri–la dee da has a more psych rock sound to it
it's rare to find that among singers in general
and scott weiland happens to one of the most successful
unfortunately for us, his absurd drug issues tend to get in the way of it
and his outing with velvet revolver was not nearly as good as stp
but what's a successful rock singer without a drug problem?
as long as he keeps truckin', i'll keep listening

#2: chris cornell [soundgarden]
you've gotta love a guy who comes up with a band name like that
it was a hard decision to put chris a spot above scott,
[and it ultimately came down to the fact that i like soundgarden more]
but i think he deserves
chris is by far the most technically gifted singer on this list
he's got a killer high range like a metal singer,
a great midrange that he doesn't use nearly enough,
a nice sultry low range that crawls under your skin,
he has a great harmonic tone that compliments whoever he sings with,
and he puts them together in a way that'll blow you away
plus, the kicker is that he's been singing that way for damn near 30 years
he's almost 50 now, and sings like a goddamn 28 year old
if i have even half that staying power at anything, i'll consider myself lucky
let me put it this way:
anyone who can sing the shit out of billie jean is pretty fucking awome

#1: layne staley [alice in chains]
anyone who has EVER heard me talk about grunge should have seen this coming
seriously, i never miss a chance to mention how much i love layne staley
even with all the great names on this list,
he stands alone at the top as the most emotionally–resonant singer of the bunch
he knows your insecurities
he speaks to your despair
he makes you feel metal as fuck
he knows why you're angry, reaches out to you, and can even be uplifting
and through it all, he has a tremenedous vocal presence
like ben, alice in chains is very rooted in the metal side of grunge,
and he takes that metal technique to the next level and makes it his own
his sound is as varied as his emotion,
going from a snarling wail to subdued anger all areas in between
even at his most cracked out and psychotic, he sounded great
couple that with the most embattled personality in the scene,
and you've got the consummate grunge singer
[as an addendum,
i have to give lots of props to jerry cantrell
besides being a fucking genius with a guitar,
he also happens have a great voice
and part of what makes layne so great is his ability to harmonize with jerry
there was no better singing tandem in rock than those two]

so that's mah list
commence the screamings

ch'iyara

2011-10-18T13:21:00.000-04:00

whatsoever i've feared has come to live
and whatsoever i've fought off became my life
just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
sunspots have faded and now i'm doing time
now i'm doing time

whomsoever i've cured, i've sickened now
and whomsoever i've cradled, i've put you down
i'm a searchlight soul, they say but i can't see it in the night
i'm only faking when i get it right
when i get it right

and what you wanted to see good has made you blind
and what you wanted to be youds has made it mine
so don't you lock up something that you wanted to see fly
hands are for shaking, no not tying
no, not tying

cuz i fell on black days
how would i know that this could be my fate?

i sure don't mind a change

ntorcia

2011-10-17T17:51:00.001-04:00

well i need something to soothe this pain
to cool the love you pumped through my veins
cuz i'm burnin', i'm burnin' up for you

and i need somethin' to quench this fire
before it becomes a funeral pyre
yeah i'm burnin' with yearnin' so much for you

your love's a drug i have to drop
it hurts me so much, but i just can't stop,
i can't stop burnin' i'm yearning so much, for you

you struck the sparks
you fire the flames in me
and now my heart's a blazin' ruin
you say that you were only foolin'

don't walk away, don't do me wrong
don't leave me this way, singing this torched song
don't leave me burnin', i'm burnin' up for you

theismann for heisman

2011-10-13T13:53:00.000-04:00

football fun fact:
there exists a player named joe theismann
maybe you've heard of him
he's considered to be the best quarterback the redskins ever had,
along with one of the best qbs from notre dame
he also happens to have a name that rhymes perfectly with 'heisman'
coincidence? not so much
his name was originally pronounced theez–man [rhymes with 'cheese man']
but, due to his stellar senior year
a pr guy for notre dame told him to change his name's pronunciation
thus creating the wonderful slogan 'theismann for heisman' [he didn't win, btdubs]
incidentally, 'theez-man' isn't the correct pronunciation at all
since his father was austrian,
the original german pronnunciation is almost the same as the current one
tice [as in 'vice]–mahn
his name'spronunciation has been just one long circular route back to square one
that's why i'm glad my name is monosyllabic

there are days, truly,
where i feel i'm the only person who doesn't give a flying fuck about the heisman
maybe it's just my disinclination towards mvp awards,
[i'm not a fan of the superbowl mvp either]
but i'm not overly impressed by people who win the heisman
don't get me wrong, i respect their accomplishments
especially since winning the heisman often coincides with breaking records,
but the speculation over it is, in a word, INSANITY
so let's take a gander at why it's gone off the deep end

with the heisman, as with every meritorious achievement these days
is subject to intense public scrutiny and speculation
people looooooooove to predict things,
and with the vast and wonderful interwubs at their disposal
[along with airwaves, tv shows, and random shouting on blogs (ME!)]
anyone can spout off to any degree about their inscrutable analysis
and so, we are left with a glut of people deciding something they have no say in,
which, as it always does, ruins it for the rest of us

the biggest thing that gets me is the week–by–week 'heisman watch'
while espn is the worst about it, they are FAR from the only one
every idiot following college football seems to do it,
and to me, it's absurd, unfair, and really unwarranted
i'm all for mentioning heisman–worthy statistics and playmaking abilities
but come on
weekly heisman predictions? preseason heisman predictions?
entire blogs of nothing but heisman predictions?
do you really have nothing better to do with your lives?
[i say while blogging about football during class]

beyond being exceptionally annoying,
where does all this heisman predicting go awry?
i'll tell you where: intrinsically
players, just like normal people, are not predictable
you can't expect someone to live up to lofty expectation out of the gate
and usually, the people who win aren't the expected ones
cam newton won last year after transferring from a junior college
[a terrible example, i know, but it works in this instance]
carson palmer was terrible his first three years at usc
barry sanders didn't even start his first two years at oklahoma state
and i could go on and on
point is, there's really no statistic or scientific way to predict who's gonna make it
case in point: denard robinson

[just for the record, this isn't gonna be bashing example
or a biased one, fully disclosing my michigan state fandom
merely one that proves my point]

so at the start of the 2010 season,
denard robinson had one year of play at michigan under his belt
and it was underwhelming to say the least
[10 games played, 14 completions/188 yds, 69 runs/409 yds, 5 tds
basically he was a decent backup running back]
so after winning the starting qb job,
he proceeds to blow the fuck up on michigan's first four opponents
he set a school record for 197 rushing yards by a qb at the opener against uconn
he put of 502 yards [258 rushing/244 passing] of offense at notre dame
[breaking his own record in the process]
and managed to rack up 930 rushing/1008 passing yards in 5 games

by all accounts,
he was putting up heisman numbers
sports media was falling all over themselves to praise him
and most had declared him to be the heisman heir apparent,
even better at rushing than the previous year's heisman winner, mark ingram jr.
but, all them media folk forgot one crucial common denominator for heisman winners:
not only are they good, but their team is good too
and that is something michigan, in a word, wasn't

after torching the defenses of five woefully overmatched teams,
michigan actually had to compete on the conference level
[indiana, umass put up more of a fight than you,
so i'm not including you in that latter category]
and, unlike the predictions, denard and michigan fell flat
in those last 8 games [since, praise be, they actually made it to a bowl game]
he put up about 800 more rushing yards and 1400 more passing yards
while his performance took a dive, his team basically flatlined
and allowed so many points that their one–dimensional offense couldn't keep up
and ultimately, he finished middle of the pack:
he was ranked 7/10 at the passing game,
was 6/10 on passing efficiency,
and was 7/10 on scoring,
though he did top the conference in rushing and all–purpose yards
in short, though he had a good season,
it wasn't heisman worthy
so much for that, right?

the worst part about that wasn't even his performance decline
it was his utter abandonment at the hands of the sports media
they dropped him faster than [insert analogy here]
they went from doing heisman spotlights/interviews with him one week
and literally two weeks later there was nary a word about him
all heisman discussion about him had all but evaporated
and he was left out to dry
that's a pretty shitty thing to do to a 20 y/o kid
especially when everyone does it at once

does anyone ever stop to think about that?
these are generally 19–22 y/o kids they're talking about
they put amazing amounts of pressure on them due to the coverage,
and hold them to lofty, often impossible standards
add on the pressure of having to appease a rabid fanbase
[in michigan's case, a nationwide one that's EXTREMELY vocal
see: the hunt for richrod's replacement]
and this kid could've been eaten alive
in his case, the fact that he's continued to perform is to his credit
but can you imagine what would've happened if he didn't?
if he'd fallen completely flat after those first four games?
he'd have been run out of ann arbor by a goddamn mob
and would've endured week after week of story about his failures
[this is michigan fans and the sports media we're talking about
so it's a guarantee that it would've happened]
it'd be enough to make me stop playing

basically, my disdain for coverage of the heisman trophy is absolute
but it's time now to dissect the other half of that particular pie:
the heisman winners themselves
if one thing seems to be true for football players, it's this
you either among the elite in college or pro
not both

to date there have been 75 award winners
[archie griffin has the distinction of having won the heisman twice in consecutive years]
and you'd think that the heisman would be their stepping stone to greatness
well, you'd be wrong
it took 13 years before the heisman trophy produced a standout nfl player
that player would be doak walker, known for the [college] trophy that bears his name
from the 1935 to 1966, only 7 winners played on championship–winning teams
since then, only 6 have played on superbowl–winning teams
only 8 of those winners have been inducted into the pro football hall of fame
[one of whom happens to be a convicted felon]
and finally, only 11 winners have won other prestigious awards while in the nfl
of the 75 winners, 32 of them have gone on to have any sort of notable pro career
that leaves 43 that either didn't amount to anything,
did bother having a pro football career,
or were simply consigned to medicrity

while this might seem like a specious argument,
winning the heisman doesn't translate into pro success
think of some of the most successful pros of the past two decades
tom brady, peyton manning, randy moss, ben roethlisberger
ray lewis, clay matthews, kurt warner, jerry rice, brett favre, rod woodson,
even older names like terry bradshaw, kenny stabler, joe greene,
mike singletary, emmitt smith, walter payton, jim brown, bruce smith
classics such as jack lambert, jim brown, eric dickerson, dan marino, dan fouts,
night train lane, deion sanders, joe montana, warren moon, and lawrence taylor
and again, i could go on and on
most of them had great college careers too
but they weren't considered the 'best'

all in all, what i'm trying to say is this
let the process be what it is
speculate if you want, but for fuck's sake, don't get carried away with it
and goddamn it, wait until november before you start spouting off predictions
but more generally, just fucking enjoy football, would you please?
turning it into a predicition contest ruins it for the rest of us

UP NEXT:
fuck if i know

realignment rigmarole

2011-10-11T11:48:00.000-04:00

again, before we get into that which we can never get out of
[in a word, my ramblings]
college football has had its first firing of the 2011 season
mike stoops, head coach of the arizona wildcats got canned last night
best part? it's only six weeks into the season
and we've got another eight to go
i'll probly come back to this tomorrow,
but i figured it was worth mentioning
let the coaching carousel commence a–turnin'

today's post brings us back to the teeth–clenching subject of realignment
because, as much as we say we truly and honestly don't give a fuck
we all do, deep down
mostly cuz we wanna see who gets screwed next
[safe to say, it ain't gonna be the big ten]
at the moment, only two conferences are expanding because they have to:
the big twelve and the big east
both are hemorrhaging teams like an anemic with a flesh wound
and they are scrambling to find replacements
whereas conferences like the sec and acc are expanding because why the fuck not?
so let's a trip down realignment boulevard and see what's what

the big twelve, as i've so eloquently stated before, is a shit show
in two years time, they've lost two big name teams [nebraska and texas a&m]
one middle–of–the–pack team [colorado]
and is very likely going to lose another solid team in missouri
in an all–too–clever analogy,
if a company you'd invested in substantially, over two years time,
managed to lose 1/3 of its market share and its standing among elite businesses
you'd pull out of that faster than a girl with teeth in her vag
[...i honestly can't believe i just connected football to vagina dentata]
at any rate, that's exactly what has happened to the big twelve
and yet, they keep chuggin' along, trying to delay the inevitable
and what better way to do that than by plugging the holes with new teams
[...goddamn it, there's another vag joke
i'm amazingly perverse for this early in the morning]

now, the last major school to change conferences was tcu last november
[despite my liking them, hawai'i hardly counts as a football powerhouse]
and where did tcu go? the big east
purely because they wanted to be in a bcs automatic–qualifying conference
geography be damned, they wanted a shot at the fiesta bowl
but now, damn near a year later, a more attractive offer comes along:
the big twelve wants someone to fill the void that a&m left
so they court tcu as well
and wouldn't you know it, tcu said "goddamn it, took you long enough"
mind you, the big twelve considered tcu when it was formed in '96
and they pretty much laughed them out of the room
oh, how times have changed

so, that puts the big twelve back at ten schools for the moment
[since talks with other schools, like smu, are basically non–existent]
but that will most likely be temporary,
seeing as how mizzou has officially started to explore to conference options
some might see this as exploration to gauge their true worth to their conference
[kinda like what tom izzo did last summer]
but, considering that mizzou abstained from voting on adding tcu,
i think they're pretty well set on getting the fuck out of the big twelve
god knows i would be at this point
the big twelve is by far most unstable conference at the moment
and that's saying something, because they're not being actively raided
unlike...

that's right, we're back to the big east
that perennially screwed conference in terms of membership
as i mentioned earlier, tcu was set to join the big east in july
easily their biggest addition since west virginia in '95
but, as of today, there is no more tcu in their future
so where does that leave them?
they're currently down to 6 football schools, out of 16 total
and they're so desperate in trying to stay competitive
they've decided to add six more football schools
[which, assuming those aren't current members,
would bring the total to an unwieldy 22 schools]

to their credit, the big east is currently trying to get non–football schools into football
villanova, for example, has apparently been asked to consider moving to the fbs
[they currently play colonial athletic association of the fcs]
likewise, notre dame has [yet again] been approached for their football team
and most rightly assume that notre dame will yet again snub that possibility
[at this point, i feel like they're just doing it because they can]
but both of these seem like insane longshots that won't help them in the short term
so what are they to do?
pull from other conferences, naturally

also to their credit, they haven't gone raiding [at least not yet]
all the schools have been talked to openly,
and they've got some interesting choices on the docket
they're most overtly pushing for the service academy
currently, army and navy are independents, while air force is in the mountain west
army and navy would be good choices, i feel,
not because they're powerhouses, but because they're good schools
that and they're already in the geographic purview of the east
i can't imagine that they'd get one without the other, though
and they're not getting air force, because it's in fucking colorado
so we'll see how that plays out, but i'm not writing it off

they've also reportedly tried courting temple
a team they unceremoniously kicked out back in 2004
which, honestly, i think is funny
there's nothing more embarassing than endearing yourself to someone you kicked to the curb
other teams include east carolina and central florida,
both of which are pretty good at football,
and probly hoping for the opportunity to play at a higher level
[especially east carolina,
who's been very vocal in their desire to join for years]
either or both of these teams would probly raise the conference's competitiveness
but wouldn't necessarily raise their profile nationally,
which is the whole point of this exercise

the sadder prospects include memphis, smu, and houston
memphis is about as pathetic at football as you can get
[though their basketball team is decent]
smu and houston are way out in texas
and beyond their geographic isolation,
they're more likely to go to the big twelve to keep it afloat
so really, there's no point to expound on any of these

no matter which way you slice it,
the big east's future in football is pretty screwed
it might just have to stick to it's basketball priority,
and let its bcs aspirations wither and die
it provides only one team to the bcs per year as an at–large,
[and it's last bcs win was in 2007 in the fiesta bowl
in fact, it's won only 6 bcs games, as opposed to the sec's 15 and big ten's 10
though it's better than the acc, which only has 2]
it invariably has the lowest number of ranked teams of the 6 aq conferences
none of its current members have even played for national championships
[not ever, just since '91 when big east football began]
and really, no current team is good enough to change their fortunes
i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin'

the conference that seems to be winning the expansion battle
if you care to term it that way
is the sec [yeah, that's right, fuck you acc]
they haven't pursued anyone in this particular debacle,
and yet have had two big name programs from the big twelve basically beg to join them
my disdain for them aside,
they've pretty much solidified their spot at the top of the bcs with these moves
god help us if they actually add mizzou

in other realignment news,
EVERYONE IS OUT OF THEIR FUCKING MINDS
i understand the occasional need to change
but this shit is just ridiculous
for fuck's sake, please get this over with quickly
i'm tired of these headlines, tired of the bad blood, and tired of the speculation
let's let grudges get settled on the field, hmm?

UP NEXT:
theismann for heisman

big ten, y u do dis?!

2011-10-06T13:37:00.001-04:00

part three of footballrage™ is brought to you by:
–drinking coffee way too early in the morning
–not giving a shit about valence shells and solar absorption
–a surplus of things to rage about
–pitiful desires to make you pay attention to me

a quick side note before we begin:
how is msu not in the ap top 25 this week?
they're sitting atop their big ten division at 4–1 alongside michigan
they've played two quality teams in the past three weeks
[and, admittedly, got completely owned by one of them]
and they don't even crack the 25 stop?
texas a&m is sitting at 24 at 2–2 after back to back blowouts after being ahead?
florida state is at the same win total after being uncompetitive in both their big games?
c'mon now
i understand that the ohio state score was 'only' 10–7
but we still beat ohio state AT columbus
the last team to do that was usc in 2009
and hasn't been done by a big ten team since penn state in 2008
[which, by the way, was by a score of 13–6]
all i'm saying is, give them some fucking credit, would ya please?
and now, to the main attraction

DA B1G
[yes, i realize that i'm being a dick spelling it that way,
get over it, cuz i don't give a damn]
the big ten is the ONLY fbs conference to not be involved in realignment shenanigans
every other conference has gotten involved in one way or other
but the big ten has remained ignorantly above the fray
why?
because everyone else is rabble, and the big ten is STUPID

i have ~~no idea~~ if i ever put my rage on teh blogzorz for everyone to see
[turns out i did, but in a muted way]
but i've never cared for the big ten's decision to invite nebraska in
and by that, i mean i was consumed by confusion and annoyance
it was a move that was universally applauded by the sports media
and even the other schools
but i never fucking got it
yeah, nebraska has a rich football history
yeah, it's by far the most popular thing in the state of nebraska
[next to their fervent zeal for any and all things corn]
and yeah, it's a new tv market for the big ten
but seriously? nebraska

granted,
much of my disdain may be over the fact that they,
LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING TEAM IN THE GODDAMN FBS
have red/white uniforms
[yes, i know it's officially 'scarlet' and cream',
however, they use neither, so they can go jump off a cliff]
but ultimately, i just don't think it was the best get for us

consider:
the big ten is as much a cultural and academic a conference as it is athletic
something no other conference can say
all 11 members are members of the american association of universities
[see what i did there?]
easily the most prestigious research colloquium in the united states
nebraska happened to be a member of the aau, but guess what?
they weren't in good standing with the rest of the institutions
and actually became the first school to get kicked the fuck out
not only did the chancellor say that it was ten years coming,
he also said that nebraska's aau membership was the factor that got them accepted
so, if it's true the big ten only gave nebraska the time of day because they were in the aau,
since they're no longer a part of it,
does that mean we can redact and rescind their big ten membership?
consider also:
the big ten is firmly rooted in the midwest
and its universities very closely reflect midwestern culture
nebraska can hardly be considered midwestern
it's a fucking plains state [again, see what i did there?]
i know that geographic cohesion has barely bothered other conferences,
but i feel like if any conference valued that, it would be the big ten

at any rate, we are now stuck with the huskers
[NOT big red; cornell is big red, you guys are huskers
they got their first, so back the fuck off]
and, since every other conference hopping on the realignment bandwagon
everyone seems to be wondering when the big ten will
despite jim delany [big ten conference commish] repeatedly saying:
we are not expanding
which, by the way, is the right response to all this bullshit nonsense
apparently, unlike every other conference in the goddamn fbs,
the big ten actually values its members, and values them equally
which means they won't just jump into the realignment rumors on a whim

by the way, i dunno if anyone's noticed
not only has the big ten not been involved in any realignment
none of the big ten teams have been targeted by other conferences
[and no, the penn state to the acc rumor doesn't count
because a–it's a fucking rumor, and b–why would they step down to the acc?]
that really says a lot about conference cohesion, dontcha think?]

for the sake of arguing [which i so love to do]
let's take a look at some of the 'proposed' expansion teams
mostly so i can point out the stupidity of others
because honestly, when isn't that fun?

and just so i can get this off my chest and move on with my life:
why in FUCK's name would the big ten get rutgers?
since when is rutgers is a valuable commodity?
the only thing going for it is their aau membership
[and i do mean only]
their football is terrible, their basketball is the posterchild for mediocrity
and for fuck's sake, it's in new jersey
if ever there was a place you don't want to expand to
it's fucking new jersey
[...my new england disdain for the mid atlantic might be showing a bit]

all right, let's take a gander at some of the more seriously rumored schools:
louisville, kansas, kansas state, syracuse, pitt,
kentucky, uconn, rutgers [hah just kidding], texas, oklahoma
notre dame, iowa state, cincinnati, virginia tech
let's start with the more obviously bad choices

first up: the big east schools
–pitt and syracuse are no longer an option
[truth be told, i'm not sure how pitt would fit in, or even if they would]
–louisville is only good at basketball, and the big ten needs more than that
–kentucky would be a great basketball addition, but that's it
–uconn, beyond being too far away, is great at basketball but that's it
[it hurts to type that, but it's true: uconn football is sporadic at best; see last season]
–cincy doesn't really have competitive sports teams or good market share
–only uconn and would be academically on par with the big ten as a 'public ivy'
–of these, pitt has the best all–around athletics department

[my feelings on pitt in the big ten are surprisingly conflicted
like i said before, they are a great school with great athletics
but also like i said before, you have to really make a splash
while pitt is a good catch, it's in a state the big ten already has access too
and most pixburghers who watch college football already watch penn state
the only way i can see pitt working seamlessly in the big ten is with west virginia
but, i'll address that later]

our next batch: the big twelve/ten/nine/eight[?] schools
–texas? really? we've been through this, big ten, and it ain't gonna happen
[despite how well texas compares to big ten schools]
–oklahoma's football would be the only plus
[academically, they'd be like high school junior taking 300 level college courses]
–iowa state is consistently mediocre at most sports
–kansas would be a great basketball addition, but that's it
[certainly seems to be a pattern, doesn't it?]
–kansas state's success is passing, and everyone knows it [them included]
–kansas, iowa state, texas, and mizzou are the only aau members
–only texas and mizzou field competitive teams in multiple sports on a yearly basis

finally, the hodgepodge: notre dame, virginia tech, rutgers others?
–hah, rutgers
–notre dame is by far the most sought after among potential candidates,
[but at this point it's like chasing a snooty prom queen who thinks you're grody]
–what possible reason could virginia tech having for jumping ship? c'mon now

now that i got tha out of my system,
let's switch gears and engage in a hypothetical:
imagine, if you will, the big ten does decide to expand again
it's extremely likely they will push for two teams,
not only to retain even numbers,
but also to increase overall competitiveness
what, then, are they to do?
the big twelve is literally falling apart faster than anyone can patch it
the big east is being raided harder than coastal france was to the vikings
and the sec and acc are actively pushing for bigger conferences
though the big ten is more than secure in its current membership,
it decides to be proactive about the future,
and not watch the football landscape change without them
thus, they are stuck figuring out just who in fuck's name to invite
if i was writing this a year[ish] ago, there'd be no doubt:
you get mizzou, hands down, and go to 12 members
if i was writing this a month ago, there'd still be no doubt:
you get pitt and west virginia to round up to 14
but, since those particular pipe dreams were rudely interrupted
[FUCK YOU ACC]
the only two logical choices you have are west virginia and mizzou
let's explore

i'll give mizzou the first nod, since they were my original choice
off the bat, i'll say that i have no problem ganking yet another team from the big twelve
[FUCK YOU, MAAAAAN]
especially since they don't seem to care about their own at all
god knows that would change
also, mizzou fits much better into the big ten on all levels than nebraska does
it's actually a midwestern state [though admittedly at the western extreme]
AND it's already got a 114 year old rivalry [the 'arch rivalry', get it?] with illinois
along with its 118 year old rivalry with nebraska
that's a pretty good transition, if you ask me

in a nutshell, their athletics are pretty solid compared with the big ten teams
they're almost akin to a big 8/big twelve version of wisconsin
football has a .545 overall record, won 12 bowl games and a national championship
men's basketball has about 1450 wins all time, and regularly plays in the ncaa tourney
they field 18 varsity teams, just a little below big ten average
it plays near two major tv markets [all big ten teams are near at least one]
fielded teams in other non–revenue sports are all relatively competitive,
but that's just one side of the coin
mizzou is also a member of the aau [in good standing, too, i might add]
they've got nationally ranked schools of journalism, law, and medicine
they're would be the third oldest school in the big ten, founded in 1839
and was the first land–grant school west of the mississippi
it has an endowment of almost $1 billion [which is almost dead last for the big ten]
basically, it's dead on par with the big ten schools in almost every way

it may just be me, but that's a pretty impressive rundown
god knows most schools don't have all that in one [looking at you, nebraska]
it just feels like mizzou would fit right in with the rest of the big ten schools
plus, given its athletic history with illinois [and, to a lesser degree, iowa],
it's transition to big ten play would be a lot smoother than nebraska's
they've sure as shit got my vote

my other preferred member [god, i sound like a sam's club] is west virginia
the mountaineers are also a very solid all–around athletics university with 17 teams
football has a perfect .600 overall record with 13 bowl wins
[and is actually the winningest fbs program that's never won a national championship]
and, more importantly, has been consistently good for a long time
men's basketball is also very solid, just coming off a big east conference championship
it's also in a surprisingly large tv market,
with large shares of southwestern pa, west virginia, kentucky, ohio, and virginia
obversely, though
they aren't quite up to the same academic level as the rest of the big ten
they aren't a member of the aau,
though they are rated as having 'highl research activity' by the carnegie foundation,
it also has a $400 million endowment, almost half the sizest of the smallest big ten one
admittedly, west virginia is a much better athletic fit than academic fit
but in this case i believe the pros outweight the cons
besides, bringing them to the big ten would reignite their rivalry with penn state
can't go wrong with more rivalry games with the nittany lions

so, yeah
that's what i think
at least i have reasons beyond 'herpderpherp MOARBIG10FUHBAL'
i think those two actually have a genuine chance,
were that hypothetical scenario to come true
unfortunately for mizzou, it doesn't seem too likely
i suppose we'll just have to wait and see

UP NEXT:
realignment rigmarole

acc-essing my inner rage

2011-10-04T11:46:00.003-04:00

it may have taken a week,
but damn it, i finally got around to it
and now, without further ado,
angry football rant, part two

i'm actually gonna hold off on the acc for a minute,
and talk about what's really bothering me about college football right now:
the mufuckin' super conference

those of us have bothered following conference realignment have heard of this
it's the idea that any of the big 6 conferences
[big east, big ten, big twelve, acc, sec, pac–12]
could create a 14 or 16 team conference of football schools
which would then TOTALLY DOMINATE everything ever
and they would make LOTS OF MONEY
and make the powerhouses EVEN MORE POWERFUL HARGLBRLARGH
people were especially paying attention to the sec and pac–12,
[because the big twelve is completely up for grabs, it seems]
and expecting them to make the first moves

and, it just happens to be a REALLY. BAD. IDEA.

there are two major issues with this particular line of crazy:
raiding and win/loss records
FIRST
there are only four fbs teams that are currently independent in football
army, navy, byu, and notre dame
every other school is in a conference already
so, in order to create a super conference,
you have to straight up jack a school from it's current conference
which is basically akin to stealing orphans from an orphanage
in order to make your own SUPER orphanage of prize and prime children
which, while it raises your profile, also makes you look like a cock
[yeah, i'm looking at you, pac–12 and acc]

SECOND
if you have a ton of powerhouse programs in your conference,
that means they'll be playing each other constantly
which means that one of them will lose
and conceivably lose more than they normally would
which completely diminishes their threat
normally conferences have two or three real powerhouse teams
[alabama/florida/lsu, virginia tech/florida state/clemson,
texas/oklahoma/nebraska, michigan/ohio state/penn state, &c]
that way, the powerhouse teams don't have TOO much competition
they'll get tests every season [usually from each other]
but this system allows those teams to win consistently
[which gives them the opportunity to make it to bowl games]
AND it makes it easier for middle–of the pack teams
[which have a better chance of breaking into the upper echelon]

if you have a 16 member conference,
and six of those teams are powerhouses,
half of your conference schedule is going to be really challenging
and not in the good way that builds up the team
could you imagine playing alabama, texas, florida, oklahoma, and lsu?
or any absurd combination of top tier teams
all in back to back weeks?
there's almost no chance you make it through that unscathed
and it reduces the amount of teams that can go unbeaten to one
[what with conference championships]
and since there are only 2 bcs berths per conference,
only two of those 'elite' teams are gonna make it that high
what the fuck good is that?
it actively reduces the chance of really good teams making it to the bcs
[which, by the way, is a bullshit system]
and completely negates getting those teams in the first place
cuz if they can't win, they can't be elite,
and they'll become mediocre like eeeeeeeeeveryone else

oh, and by the way,
the same principle applies to basketball
too many good teams increases the likelihood of more losses
something that should be especially disconcerting to...

DA ACC
[for unknown reasons, i like writing it like that]
now, the acc is the latest conference to bear the brunt of my wrath
mostly beecause they're fucking stupid
i'll try to ennumerate why, but it might require some sedatives

as though we didn't get enough realignment problems LAST summer,
THIS summer has been just as exciting
[granted, there's conference realignment every year
but it's usually limited to small schools from small conferences moving up
like, when schools move from division II to fcs conferences,
or when fcs teams move into non–aq fbs conferences]
now, the last interesting realignment news was last december,
when hawai'i announced they'd be moving from wac to the mountain west
you may not have noticed, but i did
[hawai'i's actually a decent little team
they give boise state hell on occasion, which is always fun to watch]
then, a couple months and a couple fcs moves later,
texas a&m finally announces that enough is fucking enough
and tried to rip off the duct–tape bandaid that is the big twelve
[insert allusion to bodily injury here]
while it was kinda surprising that it was a&m,
it wasn't surprising that someone wanted out of the big twelve
but then, just three weeks later,
out trots the acc with a suprise announcement
HAAAAI EVERYBODY WE'RE TAKING PITT AND SYRACUSE
KTHNXBAI SUCK MY COCK

wait... fucking what?
apparently, the acc was looking to expand
it let pac–12 and the sec do all the up front talking and speculating,
and apparently worked on some back room deals
so now, instead of trying to wrestle teams away from the sec
[cuz really, who'd want to step down from the sec?]
or looking at conference usa or sunbelt or somebody,
they went organ fishing from their favorite live donor, the big east

in short, big east and acc are not on good terms
beyond the fact that the acc is the better football conference,
the acc has a habit of going viking on big east
you know, pillaging and taking what they desire
the original members of the acc are as follows [from 1953]:
clemson, duke, maryland, north carolina, nc state, duke, and wake forest
in '79, they plucked georgia tech out of the metro 6,
and finally got florida state to settle down with them in '91
[only a year before the other big independent, penn state, would join the big ten]
now, that seems to be a relatively respectable conference
clemson and georgia tech usually field decent teams
and florida state's been good for my entire life,
but you can see where they were a little bit lacking

THEN, in 2004, the acc/big east shit storm hit
that year, the acc decided enough was enough
and ganked both miami AND virginia tech from the big east
both of them had been with the big east since 1991
and were, at that point, two of the biggest teams the conference had
[especially with miami's 2001 national championship,
and virginia tech's 1999 appearance in one]
needless to say, it didn't exactly go over well
and THEN, but a year later,
they added insult to injury by ganking boston college
granted, boston college is hardly a perennial contender,
but it WAS a founding member of the big east
[roughly akin to a conference ganking illinois or wisconsin]

so, having been thoroughly gutted at the top by the acc,
[the big east did pull in 5 teams later in 2005, only 3 play football]
the big east was subjected to straight up thievery two weeks ago
not content being a better overall basketball and football conference,
the acc decided that they needed to be bigger,
and decided the way to expand was to acquire pittsburgh and syracuse
i will repeat that,
because it bears repeating
...
PITT... and SYRACUSE
i have wildly different views on these two schools, so bear with me

first up, pitt
i happen to like pitt [surprise surprise]
and not just because, at heart, i'm a pixburgher
pitt is a really good school
they're a member of the aau [one of only 34 public universities in the country]
it'll have the third highest endowment in the acc at $2.5 billion
it's got a great basketball team [longest current ncaa tourney streak at ten straight]
and a pretty good football team
they were a great team for boosting the big east's image
they'll be great for the acc too
the big east got screwed on that one

also, syracuse? really?
are you fucking kidding me?
of ALL the schools in the big east, you go with syracuse?
fucking why?
their football team is terrible [though they were good 50 years ago]
the basketball is good, but underachieves
and there are more academically impressive schools
[realistically, though
academics seems to only be a real, choice–determining criterion in the big ten]
when you look at syracuse athletically,
all your left with is a 'meh' feeling
if you're going to raid the big east yet again, you might as well deal the death blow
take a big name like notre dame
take a chance on an impressive newcomer like south florida
pull in their most successful basketball program like uconn
don't settle for fucking syracuse

if you want to expand to a 'super' conference,
you absolutely MUST get a big–name program
you have to a texas a&m, or a nebraska, or a west virginia
not expand for the sake of expanding
you can't make a case for a it with a mediocre athletics university
in football as in science, quantitive is usually not better than qualitative
just sayin'

if ever there was a team that the acc should've yanked along with pitt,
it would be west virginia
of course west virginia
not only would you get a built–in rivalry with your two newest members,
you get great geographic rivalries too
plus, west virginia is athletically more consistent than syracuse
and would probly make a much better fit in the conference
i would bet lots of money i don't have that,
given the choice,
random viewers would much rather watch west virginia and florida state/virginia tech
than, say, syracuse and wake forest
or syracuse and clemson
god knows i would

at any rate
at least the acc didn't take rutgers
there's always a worse choice out there
[trust me, i'll be coming back to that]

UP NEXT:
big ten, y u do dis?!

emoth

2011-09-28T19:57:00.000-04:00

this may be a shock to some of your systems,
so i urge, in the strongest possible terms,
listen to each video at your own discretion

in my never ending quest for good metal bands,
i end up looking through tons of wikipedia articles
and one of the bands i came across had a cool name
[i'm a sucker for well–named things]
so i look into them, and they're listed as being 'gothic rock'
normally this is not my cup of brutal, metallic tea
but i figured i'd give them a listen
[on youtube]
i wasn't just gonna download them on a whim,
because, just look at them

little did i know what i was in for
after a quick, innocent search,
i discovered something no man, woman, or child should ever hear:
the perfect emo/goth amalgam
they look like grown–up emo kids
but they dress in all black and have goth looking videos
musically, they're gothic rock all the way
but have lyrics that reek of emo–ness
they embody the worst of both emo and goth music,
with just a little bit of extra terribleness sprinkled on top

this is but a sampling
you've been warned
closure
my heart, your hands
i still lost
making the most
and, the coup de grâce, [i just] died in your arms

i told you, you shouldn't have listened

deurywioldeb

2011-09-23T04:05:00.000-04:00

apparently today is celebrate bisexuality day
why today, though, i couldn't tell you
it's not as though september 23 has any special significance
[although it is the anniversary of mozilla's first public web browser, phoenix
perhaps a subtle outing of firefox as a multi–gender philanderer of a web browser?]

i'm not sure about the rest of you bi guys and gals out there,
but i'm sure as shit not celebrating
it's not really something deserving of a celebration, is it?
maybe if it was the cause of some fantastic achievement,
["bisexuality shown to provide perfect antidote to lupus"
or was the heretofore–unknown key to some human advancement
["invention of gunpowder linked to bisexuality, chinese researchers find"]
or maybe even provided some sort of tactical advantage
["bisexuals 78% more likely to become ornithologists, u.n. peacekeepers"]
if any of those were the case, i'd be more than willing to
but alas, it is not

so, instead of spending the day celebrating something i just am
[i also happen to be male, scottish, brunette, a yankee, hairy, snarky, and tall]
i'll be doing things that actually matter to me,
like homework and thesis research

...and toasting firefox's ninth birthday
naturally

dissing the twelve [ten... nine...]

2011-09-22T02:56:00.004-04:00

it's time for more hotheaded football bullshit from me
i hope you're fucking ready for it,
cuz i sure as hell am

first up: the big twelve [disrespect intended]
what in FUCK's name is going on over there?
is there something in the beer out there,
or have you all lost your fucking minds simultaneously?
seryusly
i knew there was some serious tension among the schools
[see the last, i dunno, entire league's existence period]
but come on, there has to be a less public way of airing your dirty laundry

the way i've seen it unfold,
there are two main points of contention:
commissioner dan beebe, and the entire goddamn state of texas
we'll start with texas, because when aren't they the fucking problem?

the university of texas at austin is, as you might know, an athletic juggernaut
the longhorns have won almost 50 national championships in all its sports
it has the second–winningest football team ever
is considered the best sports school in the country
and is almost instantly recognizable thanks to that goddamn cow
[is it me, or does bevo look vaguely like a uterus?]
at any rate, texas is considered a college athletics elite
now, the problem here is that they've got egos roughly the size of their state
and it's athletic department, along with the university chancellory
[and, by the way, espn, a huge what–the–fuck on my part]
decided to follow in the steps of the big ten network, but in their own texas way:
they created the 'longhorn network'
a 24–hour sports channel dedicated to, you guessed it, texas sports
while that's all fine and dandy for those of us who leave south of the panhandle,
there's a catch: THE OTHER FUCKING BIG TWELVE SCHOOLS
pesky little bastards, always with a complaint

[quick segue:
the big ten network is the progenitor of conference sports channels
launched in 2007, it covers all sports played by big ten teams
from football all the way down to field hockey
what made it truly revolutionary in the tv realm was its profit–sharing:
every big ten school would receive equal revenue from the big ten network
to the tune of $22.6 MILLION in 2011
while this might strike some among us as pinko commie bullshit,
it proves yet again that the big ten believes in institutional equity
and that all of us make the big ten, not just michigan and ohio state]

back to the longhorn network,
the reason it's been surrounded in such a shitstorm is exceedingly simple:
they would be profitting off other schools without giving them a cut
there is no big 12 network to speak off,
and the current profit–sharing fiasco in the big twelve is, well, a fiasco
schools recoup profits based on the tv share of their games on major sports networks
which, while fair, leads to inequality and resentment
so, when you put that alongside the longhorn network,
you can see why the other 9 schools are pissed off
plus, to top it all off,
espn was trying to secure rights for the big twelve conference game on longhorn network
which means that texas could profit on a game they might not even play in
[like last year's title game of nebraska v. oklahoma]

thus, as the wronged and exploited tend to do,
the other schools of the big twelve pitched a collective bitch fit about it
and, might i add, rightfully so
regardles of how shitty your team may or may not be,
you don't want some elitist jerkoffs making one–sided profits off you
the arrogance of the texas athletic department is just dumbfounding
these people, who make more money than any one else in the big twelve,
would make an even more obscene amount just cuz they wanted to
no wonder no one fucking likes them

in other texas related sports news,
there's the ongoing saga of the texas a&m defection
for those not paying atttention to it,
a&m decided that they wanted the fuck out of the big twelve in a big, big hurry
so about a month ago they began shopping themselves around
their most open flirtations were with the pac 12 and sec,
with the sec becoming their sugar daddy of choice
it seems to me that a&m was taking advantage of the uncertainty
cuz god knows, ever since nebraska and colorado bolted like bats out of hell
[and, truthfully, since well before that]
the big twelve's been on pretty shaky ground
so whether a&m was trying to push it over the precipice,
or simply cutting their losses, we'll never know
at any rate, they decided the sec was their best opportunity,
and so off they went
except, not really

there's always someone who wants to kick you in the groin,
someone who never lets you get what you want
and that someone, in this case, is baylor
yes, that baylor
the one in waco with the 6'8" center on the women's team and ken starr as president
[and yes, that is the ken starr who investigated bill clinton's philandry]
they were so agrieved at a&m's anticipated departure that they threatened to sue
yeah, that's right
they want to sue a&m and the sec for leaving the big twelve
and they've got the backing of virtually all the schools left in the big twelve
[except oklahoma which, surprise surprise, is shopping itself around too]
add in the fact that the a&m ad was not shy about bashing the longhorn network,
and they've got some serious obstacles facing their departure
baylor hasn't backed down on their pledge to sue,
but a&m hasn't backed down on trying to bail the fuck out of the big twelve, either
granted, baylor and the big twelve schools do have legitimate issues,
not the least of which is the prospect of losing yet another big–name program
but either the big twelve or a&m has to cave,
and my bet is that it's the big twelve, and i'll tell you why:
dan beebe

conveniently rounding out my ranting is our second topic:
commissioner dan beebe
possibly the most hated man in athletics west of the mississippi
he's been on the job just over four years,
and he brought earthquakes to an already unstable fault line
he was seen as basically being texas's yes man,
allowing them to do virtually anything they wanted to
[and yes, that does include the creation of the longhorn network]
in addition, he allowed the inequity and frustration to boil over,
culminating in last year's loss of colorado and nebraska on consecutive days
while you could argue that both schools had machinations towards leaving,
that's not something you just allow to happen
for fuck's sake, nebraska's a marquee program, a huge name
i may not like the huskers, but goddamn it they're a keeper if ever there was one
there's so little love for the man,
oklahoma conditioned their non–departure on sacking him
that's right, oklahoma's willing to leave just to get the fuck away that guy
could you imagine being him if oklahoma left?
losing two of the biggest names in college football in one year,
all thanks to your nepotism and ineptitude?
christ, i'd throw myself into a fucking tornado
but, thankfully for us and our sanity,
beebe decided to get out before they showed up with lots of guns,
and reportedly decided last night to beat it the fuck of out the big twelve
i honestly don't know enough about the guy to judge whether this is good or not,
but it'll probly go a long way towards keeping the big twelve together
which, for my sanity's and rage's sake, i hope it does

[UPDATE]
i realized, after writing that last paragraph,
it sounds like oklahoma is a wronged party,
and simply trying to survive in an unfair system
that is WRONG, purely and simply
they're being just as fucking arrogant, if not more so, than texas
they tried beating it to the pac12, the sec,
basically anywhere they felt like they'd be 'valued'
with, btdubs, is complete and utter bullshit
they've been coddled almost as much as texas,
and then turned around and made demands for things instead of asking for them
so basically the big twelve is broken down as follows
texas is arrogantly successful and elitist pack leader
oklahoma is the equally as successful but much bitchier beta male
and then there's fucking everybody else
little wonder why that conference can't keep itself together]

UP NEXT:
acc–essing my inner rage at the acc

akarni

2011-09-08T15:26:00.003-04:00

i'm always screaming my lungs out,
till my head starts spinning
playing my songs is the way i cope with life
won't keep my voice down
know the words i speak are the thoughts i think out loud

i like to keep things honest
i'm a safe bet like your life's staked on it, for real
i'd hate to keep you all wondering
i'm constant like the seasons, and i will never be forgotten, man

still got something left to prove
it tends to keep things moving
while everyone around me says my last days are looming overhead
but what the hell do they think they know?
i keep my head above water while they drown in the undertow

if you take it from me,
live your life for yourself
cause when it's all said and done, you don't need anyone else

so let's get back to when everything seemed perfect
not a worry in the world, tell me was it all worth it?
i get what i want, so everyone's always judging me
i'm not afraid of anything, i've got the whole world in front of me.

let's leave no words unspoken
and save regrets for the broken
will you even look back when you think of me?

all i want is a place to call my own
and mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low

hvězda

2011-09-06T10:37:00.000-04:00

e lucevan le stelle,
ed olezzava la terra
stridea l'uscio dell'orto
ed un passo sfiorava la rena
entrava ella fragrante,
mi cadea tra le braccia

o dolci baci, o languide carezze,
mentr'io fremente le belle forme disciogliea dai veli
svanì per sempre il sogno mio d'amore
l'ora è fuggita, e muoio disperato
e non ho amato mai tanto la vita

ici

2011-08-25T03:07:00.000-04:00

a woman on the radio talks about revolution
when it's already passed her by
bob dylan didn't have this to sing about,
you know it feels good to be alive

i saw the decade end,
when it seemed the world would change in the blink of an eye
and if anything,
then there's your sign of the times

i was alive and i waited, waited
i was alive and i waited for this
right here, right now, there is no other place i wanna be
right here, right now, watching the world wake up from history

kaja

2011-08-16T00:15:00.000-04:00

close my eyes, let the whole thing pass me by
there is no time to waste asking why
i'll run away with you, by my side
i'll run away with you by my side
i need to let go of this pride

i think about your face and how i fall into your eyes
the outline that i trace around the one that i call mine
time that called for space, unclear where you drew the line
i don't need to solve this case and i don't need to look behind

do i expect to change the past i hold inside?
with all the words i say repeating over in my mind
some things you can't erase, no matter how hard you try
an exit to escape is all there is left to find

close my eyes, let the whole thing close my eyes
let the whole thing pass me by
there is no time to waste asking why
i'll run away with you, by my side
i'll run away with you by my side
i need to let go of this pride
until this echo in my mind
until this echo can subside

شنگرفی

2011-08-08T01:45:00.002-04:00

she seems dressed in all the rings
of past fatalities
so fragile, yet so devious
she continues to see
climatic hands that press her temples and my chest
enter the night that she came home... forever

she is everything and more...
the solemn hypnotic
my dahlia, bathed in possession, she is home to me
i get nervous, perverse, when i see her it's worse
but the stress is astounding
it's now or never, she's coming home... forever

oh... she's the only one that makes me sad

hard to say what caught my attention
fixed and crazy... aphid attraction
carved my name in my face to recognize
such a pheromone cult to terrorize

i'm a slave and i am a master
no restraints and unchecked collectors
i exist through my needs to self–oblige
she is something in me that i despise

i won't let this build up inside of me!

she isn't real, i can't make her real

she seemed dressed in all of me,
stretched across my shame
all the torment and the pain
leaked through and covered me
i'd do anything to have her to myself,
just to have her for myself
now i don't know what to do,
i don't know what to do when she makes me sad

she is everything to me
the unrequited dream,
the song that no one sings,
the unattainable
she's a myth that i have to believe in
all i need to make it real is one more reason
i don't know what to do
i don't know what to do when she makes me sad

but i won't let this build up inside of me
a catch in my throat,
choke, torn into pieces,
i won't, no, i don't want to be this
but i won't let this build up inside of me

she isn't real, i can't make her real

classism

2011-08-01T02:56:00.004-04:00

as you science–minded readers may be aware,
there is a little thing called the periodic table

each of the different colors represents a different kind of element

[blues are alkali/alkaline metals, yellows are transitional metals, etc]

and it are lookin' a little something like this:

now, something clever people like to do is riff on the idea of the periodic table
there's the queeriodic table, the periodic table of the internet,
the periodic table of vulgarity, the periodic table of typefaces,
the periodic tables of beer, marketing, meat, irrational nonsense,
and, of course, the periodic tables of /b/, memes, sex, and final fantasy
but, in all the wit, pith, and downright inanity,
i felt there was something missing,
something direly important and fulfilling
and so, i present you with…
THE CLASSIST PERIODIC TABLE

Alkali/Alkaline metals [blue] — Old Money
these metals have been around longer than anyone
so long, in fact, they can't remember who first acquired their leviathan wealth
potassium has at least three yachts, a couple family mansions,
and you have the misfortunate of knowings about their insufferable children,
[cesium and francium, who is just SO rare she's a princess, don't ya know]
they constantly and consistently talk about themselves in glowing verbosity
while considering anyone with less than half their wealth to be 'riff raff'
they NEVER associate with the commoners, i.e. the other metals
don't bother themselves with pedantic exercises like academia, politics, and the like
all they are concerned about is marrying their own status/more money/both
[little known fact: the entire 'unun' series is magnesium and radium's inbred spawn]
and making sure they have as few neighbors as possible
[because how are you supposed to be untouchable with those miscreants nearby?]

Lanthanides/Actinides [gray] — the Nouveau Riche
these folk are, if possible, even more insufferable pricks than the old money
lanthanum's a self–made man [which is as close to arsenic as a phrase can come],
which means there was a time it and actinium weren't filthy rich
so to make up for this obvious shortcoming,
and to completely bury their working class backgrounds
[they were originally transitional metals, as you can tell by their position]
they make themselves out to be even older money than the old money
which, of course, is a ruse you can see through in a second
[old money refuses to associate with them:
ytterbium and curium got wasted at one of sodium's high–society shindigs once,
and tried to gangbang strontium in the wine cellar
ever since then, they've been prohibited from inhabiting official table space]
the only reason they have their wealth in the first place is thanks to nuclear physics:
uranium, neptunium, and plutonium had to go be all important and shit
and so now we're stuck with lazy, egregious extended family living vicariously

Transition Metals [yellow] – the Proletariat
these poor bastards have the unfortunate distinction of being the working class
the serfs, the indentured servants, the slaves, the downtrodden, the immigrants
NO ONE likes them, and no one thinks they work hard enough
[even though tungsten, iron, cobalt, and nickel more than pull their own weight]
these are the elements left to prop up the rest of the table, especially the gases
[especially those cocksucking nonmetals, the arrogant pricks]
though gold and platinum have been basically deciding the currency rate for years,
they're constantly looked down on because of their salt–of–the–earth origins
[if there's one thing the alkali/nes absolutely CANNOT abide,
it's coming out of the dirt in a nugget]
in spite of their superior numbers, and great organizational abilities,
the transitions will never be able to improve their lot
the most they've ever gained is their association with the post–transitions,
[and let me tell you, aluminium threw a bitch fit about that one,
though tin and lead finally got it to come around,
after they all got squared away, they threw an EPIC bender to celebrate
the rabble always finds solace in booze, it seems]
so, despite doing more than their fair share, and actually being quite valuable
the transitionals will always and forevermore catch shit from everyone else
especially the…

Metalloids [green] — the Middle Class
[for clarification's sake, i don't mean this in the sense of the American middle class
i mean this in the sense of being between the proletariat and upper classes]
now these guys, the metalloids, are the cocksuckers that NOBODY likes
they're always the ones telling the transitionals what to do and when
dictating orders like shop foremen and acting like their better than them
antimony especially incites rabid hatred amongst pretty much everyone,
[mostly due to the ongoing debate about how to pronounce its fucking name]
boron really gets the transitional's goat because he's perched on top of aluminium,
acting all superior and looking at the transitionals like he's their master
[and yeah, there's a reason he's on top of aluminium
that greedy bastard'll do anything to get into high society]
the only one the transitionals will never try to cross is silicon,
because he's the one who can outsource all their jobs
and while life may suck now, it'd suck even more without shit to do

Nonmetals [orange] — the Upper Class
now these are the assholes that the metals AND metalloids hate
these are the bastards who own things and take the moral/societal high ground
they were blessed with 'different' uses than their metallic counterparts,
and they lord it over them as though it was just fate that made it this way
oxygen and nitrogen think their necessity renders them certain stations in life,
and thus need to be 'cared for' because they are, after all,
SO busy with all the work they need to care for
phosphorous and sulphur, on the other hand, are just fat and lazy
they're the gross fucks who don't mind doing pedantic work to get richly rewarded
the metals detest everything they stand for,
and the metalloids, who will always try to shirk their metallic heritage,
desperately try to join them or become them
[which is why the metals will always hate them more]
they'll never get pissed at carbon, though
he was the one from the ghetto who actually made it,
through years of extremely hard work and great opportunity, he actually made it
the metalloids hate him because of it, but the transitionals adore him for it
and it gives them just a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe,
it'll happen for them too

Noble Gases/Halogens [red] – the Bourgeoisie
these power–hungry fuckers are at the top of the elemental food chain
they own everything, control everything, and make a grand show of it
they mock the upper class for having so much yet being so worthless,
they turn their nose up at the middle class for having to deal with the riff raff
and they ignore the proletariat because, honestly, why encourage them?
they've been self–promoting themselves for eternity,
even going so far as inserting themselves into comic books
[which forever alienated the transitionals;
'krypton' was originally supposed to be called 'osmium' in the superman canon]
they've had a deathgrip on political power for as long as anyone can remember
helium actually inherited its position from hydrogen when hydrogen 'retired'
hydrogen's abdication to become old money has perplexed EVERYONE
[normally old money can't be bothered with things like power and ownership
they think of it as a distraction and a bore]
especially since hydrogen was, at one point, the original nouveau riche
apparently time changes all

Ununs [purple] — Inbred bastard children
this sad sack of shit is the reason you don't fuck your siblings
the one thing the old money, nouveau riche, and bourgeoisie have in common is this:
they don't want to mix common blood into their elitist cloud of ignorance
doing so severely limits the available gene pool,
and like any decent elitist snobs, they started breeding with each other
[much the way european royals did/do]
and like happens when you do that, occasionally some offspring don't turn out right
someone's missing an ear, someone's got webbed toes,
some little ununquadium's gonna look like the wolfman
and though these unfortunate specimen are usually shipped off,
ne'er to be heard from again from polite society,
occasionally some of the insolent bastards try and stick around
and no one wants to associate with some half–blind, web–toed albino inbreed
so they ended up at the bottom of the societal totem
not to be seen or heard from,
but simply to serve as a reminder that it can, in fact, get much worse
so as much as the transitionals may hate their lot in life
at least they aren't polydactyl albino hemophiliacs, like ununseptium

ψυχωτικά

2011-07-25T04:06:00.000-04:00

i did my time, and i want out, so abusive
fate, it doesn't cut, the soul is not so vibrant
the reckoning, the sickening, back at you:
subversion, pseudo–sacred psycho virgin

go tell your classes, go dig your graves
then fil your mouth with all the money you will save
sinking in, getting smaller again
undone, it has begun, i'm not the only one

oh there are cracks in the road we lay
from when the devil fell, the secrets have gone mad
this is nothing new, but we would kill it all
fate was all we had

who needs another mess? we could start over
just look me in the eyes and say i'm wrong
now there's only emptiness, but i'm missing something
i think we're done, i'm not the only one

the limits of the dead

fake and defenseless lie [psychosocial]
i tried to tell you first [psychosocial]
your hurtful lies are giving out [psychosocial]
can't stop the killing [psychosocial]
i can't help if it's hunting season [psychosocial]
is this what you want [psychosocial]
i'm not the only one

and the rain will kill us all
if we throw ourselves against the wall
but no one else can see
the preservation of the martyr in me

psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial

kertakäyttöinen

2011-07-19T17:49:00.000-04:00

bodies fill the fields i see, hungry heroes end
no one to play soldier now, no one to pretend
running blind through killing fields, bred to kill them all
victim of what's said should be, a servant 'til i fall

barking of machine gun fire does nothing to me now
sounding of the clock that ticks, get used to it somehow
more a man, more stripes you wear, gloryseeker trends
bodies fill the fields i see, the slaughter never ends

why am i dying?
kill, have no fear
lie, live of lying
hell, hell is here

i was born for dying

life planned out before my birth, nothing i could say
had no chance to see myself, molded day by day
looking back i realize, nothing have i done
left to die with only friends, alone i clench my gun

soldier boy, made of clay, now an empty shell
twenty one, only son, but he served us well
bred to kill, not to care, do just as we say
finished here, greeting death, he's yours to take away

back to the front
you will do what i say, when i say
back to the front
you will die when i say you must die
back to the front
you coward, you servant, you blind man

светло

2011-07-15T23:11:00.000-04:00

i'm comin' outta my cage, and i've been doin' just fine
gotta gotta be down becuase i want it all
it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

now i'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab
while he's havin' a smoke and she's takin' a drag
now they're goin' to bed, and my stomach is sick
and it's all in my head

but she's touching his chest, now
he takes off her dress, now
let me go
and i just can't look,
it's killing me and taking control

jealousy, turning saints into the sea
swimming through sick lullabies
choking on your alibis
but it's just the price i pay
destiny is calling me
open up my eager eyes
cuz i'm mr brightside

i never...

vonlenska

2011-07-13T19:26:00.000-04:00

ýu ræ sul non fól, ýu ræ sul non fól
ýu ræ so uld nó

ýu ræ son mæ fon, ýu ræ son mæ fon
ýu ræ son mæ fon

ýu sæ gvæ

old sjí rus, old sjí rus
ó læ

tinguereguif

2011-07-08T22:32:00.002-04:00

in which i compare comments of two professors:
one, who actually had pith, wit, and constructive comments,
and the other, who constantly filled me with rage and confusion

rage and confusion prof:
all i got from this prof was snarky comments,
attacking my ability to write and my choice of words
the kind of prof who is impossible to please,
because of a deep–seated belief that most people are inherently unable to write
but, for someone unknown reason,
grades as though you did nothing wrong
here is but a sample of some of the comments i got on response papers:

[in response to the description 'pagan areas of africa'] there were also Less Pagan areas?
[in response to a typo] ??? What does this mean?
[in response to a typo in a quote] Aha! Cadamosto was 1. not Portuguese, but Venetian and 2. in full command of grammar.
[in response to the use of the historical term 'Muhammadan'] What does this mean? We call it “Muslim” nowadays, right?
[in response to native Africans being 'intrigued' with new technology] I’m glad that Cadamosto brought his intrigu-o-meter.
[in response to my using the word 'intrigued'] Also, don’t use the word intrigued, it means absolutely nothing.
[in response to a concluding sentence] this sentence adds precisely nothing, it merely wastes space.
[a general critique of on paper] Your paper is generally good, although you have a number of warped phrases in a kind of falsely erudite english—actually the language, widely spoken among undergraduates, called gibberish. Try to say what you mean and mean what you say. Use precise terms and don't argue by suggestion.
[in response to my concluding paragraph] This last paragraph isn’t really that interesting. It doesn’t add much to your discussion, does it. Perhaps you could have gone deeper here to make these last sentences worthwhile.
[in response to my using the word 'extremely'] avoid adjectives in academic prose, and also adverbs—unless absolutely necessary.
[in response to using the word 'redeeming'] This is a loaded word, right?
[in response to using the word 'neutral'] It’s a bit too safe of a position, though. Surely the dead Indians did not find the Europeans “neutral”.
[in response to the term 'comparably little resistance' to Christian missions] also, comparatively few converts—like none.

final grade for this course: 4.0
given the level of semantic bitching this prof did,
you'd think i warranted a 2.0
what a cocksucker

pith and wit prof:
this prof was actually enjoyable to be in class with
i always got interesting and engaging discussions
along with amusing sentiments and downright oddities
this prof also had a very present sense of humor
which you could catch in virtually any context
here is but one of the emails i got over the course of the semester:

Title: Alien Mind Control
Dear all: Some of you have asked me in a panic when your final drafts are due. Clearly, you silly earthlings, you have not read my mind. I can accept them up until the morning of the 4th, the day when many of you Terrans go shoot off things that make loud noises and scare dogs. That is a Monday by your reckoning. I will see you all on what you call Thursday. I will be the one with the spaceship that has cool landing gear.

which would you rather have?
...that's what i thought

urmi

2011-06-22T19:15:00.000-04:00

so,
i may or may not be in chicago right now
getting ready to start a 3 day long labor studies conference
at which i am speaking and spending my weekend
sure beats the hell out of sitting at home doing homework, yeah?

uísque

2011-06-16T19:37:00.000-04:00

rye whiskey makes the band sound better,
makes your baby cuter,
makes itself taste sweeter, oh boy
rye whiskey makes your heart beat louder
makes your voice seem softer
makes the back room hotter, oh but

rye thoughts aren't good thoughts, boys
have i ever told you 'bout the time i…

rye whiskey wraps your troubles up
into a bright blue package
ties a bow around it, oh boy
just throw it on the pile in the corner, see
you're not alone in not being alone tonight, but

rye love isn't good love, boys
have i ever told you bout the time i…

i used to wake up bright and early
got my work done quickly,
held my baby tightly, oh boy
rye whiskey makes the sun set faster,
makes the spirit more willing,
but the body weaker, because

rye sleep isn't good sleep, boys
have i ever told you bout the time i
took it, and took her for granted?
how i took it and took her for granted?
so let's take some and take them all for granted,
oh boy

duono

2011-06-06T02:01:00.000-04:00

half underwater, i'm half my mother's daughter
a fraction's left up to dispute
the whole collection,
half off the price they're asking
in the halfway house of ill repute

half accidental
half pain, full instrumental
i have a lot to think about
you think they're joking?
you have to go provoke him
i guess it's high time you found out

it's half biology and half corrective surgery gone wrong
you'll notice something funny
if you hang around here for too
long ago in some black hole,
before they had these pills to take it back
i'm half jill, and half jack

two halves are equal,
a cross between two evils
it's not an enviable lot,
but if you listen
you'll learn to hear the difference
between the halves and have nots

and when i let him in i feel the stitches getting sicker
i try to wash him out,
but like they say, the blood is thicker
i see my mother in my face
but only when i travel
i run as fast as i can run
but jack comes tumbling after

and when i'm brave enough,
and find a clever way to kick him out
and i'm so high,
not even you and all your love could bring me down
on 83rd he never found the magic words to change this fact
i'm half jill, and half jack

i'm halfway home now,
half hoping for a showdown
'cuz i'm not big enough to house this crowd
it might destroy me
but i'd sacrifice my body
if it meant i'd get the jack part out

see jack run jack run jack run jack
see jack run jack run see jack run
see jack run jack, jack see run jack
run jack, run jack, run jack, run jack,
run, jack, run

souhait

2011-06-04T04:26:00.001-04:00

i wish, i wish my baby was born
and sittin' on its papa's knee
and me, poor girl, we're dead and gone
and the green grass growin' o'er my feet

i ain't ahead, nor never will be
till the sweet apple grows on a sour apple tree
but still i hope the time will come
when you and i shall be as one

i wish, i wish my love had died
and sent his soul to wander free
then we might meet where ravens fly
let our poor bodies rest in peace

the owl, the owl is a lonely bird
it chills my heart with dread and terror
that's someone's blood there on his wing
that's someone's blood there on his feather

grímsvötn

2011-05-24T22:35:00.000-04:00

i had something i was going to put here,
but i'll be damned if i remember what it was
must not've been that important

i'm taking two history classes this summer,
and they couldn't be more different
my online one [encounters in the age of discovery] is a trip
the prof is rather pompous asshole,
the kind of asshole has a ten bullet point list of things he wants in two–page papers
[while grading them like we're twelve years old]
and he posts about 2 1/2 hours of lecture we have to sift through a week
he also keeps making awkward, joking asides in our lectures
it also turns out that there's only four people in that class
which means we all get extra scrutiny
fantastic

my other class is sex, dating, and marriage from wwII
and it's a fucking blast
that prof is both funny and insightful
and we've had interesting class discussions so far
and, unlike my online reading list,
i've actually got interesting books to read for this class
and we've watched/will be watching plenty of movies
makes the three hours twice weekly somewhat bearable

in one of my vagrant displays of consumerism ever,
i bought myself a really nice [and super expensive] ipod docking stereo
and let me tell you, it's nice
it's an altec lansing, so it's got a super deep bass
along with a really wide top range
plus, it has auxiliary jacks my old stereo so unfortunately lacked,
so now it can act as the speakers my laptop has always deserved
[which is not to knock my old usb speakers
which were great, but now belong to my parents]
i also replaced my old headphones,
which were good but crapping out
so now i am surrounded by glorious and gorgeous sound

also, in one of my most vagrant displays of practicality,
i bought myself a really nice, really inexpensive desk
the kind of desk i have been craving my entire time in the dorms
it actually has fucking shelves for once,
so i can put shit on it without cluttering the top of it
talk about convenient, right?
it's like that's what desks were meant to be,
as opposed to flat tabletops with the most useless keyboard drawer ever
so now i am surrounded by glorious and gorgeous workspace

last weekend i got to see vienna teng [!] at the e/l arts festival
i've loved her music for about five years now,
and somehow managed to see her live twice in the past two months
she's fucking phenomenal, let me tell you
she did some great arrangements of her songs with her percussionist
[alex, an amazing musician in his own right]
and even did a radiohead cover
talk about a great way to spend a sunday afternoon

and now, i'm gonna go play some max payne 2
[after dabbling around with it off and on for the past year
i sat down and played the original in one go
9 straight hours well wasted, in my opinion]

iodoform

2011-05-14T12:38:00.000-04:00

dear weather,
let's cut right to the chase
i really don't like when it's hot outside
and i HATE when it's humid,
unfortunately, you like to do both here during the summer
[which, by the way, is a poor choice to make]
and sometimes, when you're feeling particularly vindictive,
you give us good citizenry a little teaser of what's to come

take this week, for example
coming off of last week, which was relatively decent for early may,
you decided it was time to blow past spring
and plunge headlong into late–june weather
not only was i not expecting mid–80s this past week
i also wasn't expecting it to get so damn humid
i gotta tell ya, i was pretty pissed
especially yesterday,
when i faced to prospect of 82º, super humid, and moving shit outside

but, beyond my annoyance about the heat
what really cuts me to the quick was the your lies about the rain
see, what got me through that shitty heat wave was the prospect of rain
glorious, long stretches of thunderstorms
coming in to sweep away the heat and humidity,
but then, in what can only be described as a bitch move,
you decided there would be no rainstorms
[and there would certainly be no thunderstorms]
and instead taunted me with 2 minutes of quick drizzle
which, of course, made the humidity worse
again, i was pretty pissed, even more so than before

and then, like i said before, came yesterday
after mercilessly mocking me with florida–like muggyness
it got a tiny bit cooler and much grayer
and then wonderfully, implausibly, it began to rain
and not just rain, either
it poured for damn near three hours, and then kept going
nearly 10 straight hours of solid, glorious raining
~~and, even though i had to walk through it to get back~~
and, ESPECIALLY because i had to walk through it to get back
i was giddy like a five year old
and, upon checking to see what the forecast would be
saw a solid predicted week of cool, rainy, ~60º days

so, even though it goes against my better judgment,
and the inevitability that more shitty weather approaches,
and my certainty that you're doing this just to fuck with me
i forgive you for this past week's hideous conditions
now let's keep it coming, eh?

wubwubwub

2011-05-08T04:23:00.003-04:00

as much as i am loathe to admit it
[especially considering how many musically judgmental fucks i know]
i do actually like dubstep
but, i've found that the main reason i like it isn't always the music
the comments that people leave on dubstep videos are, in short, amazing
and, after spending some time on youtube,
i present you with some gems i've found

so dirty, it feels like ten tramps and their dogs just spunked in my ear drum, then used my brain as a kleenex… and i normally pay good money for that service
The drop is so heavy my rubix cube fell off my desk and completed itsself, neighbors called the police and they got arrested, my windows broke and had to buy a mac,my cat barked, ʇxǝʇ ʎɯ oʇ sıɥʇ pıp doɹp ssɐq ǝɥʇ, , made --- people miss the like button, mom walked in and I switched to porn, it became my neighbors favorite song, hitler got his gas bill, I pressed F13 for extra bass, my water turned into wine, I clicked 720p, it went B0:00M and I want more!
Sounds like a Transformer having sex in the Renaissance!
THIS SHIT IS SICKER THAN FINGERING YOUR SISTER AND FINDIN YOUR DADS WEDDIN RING!!!!!!
wtf at 00:55 = duck on extasy ??? nice
I miss those comments about these type of songs, the ones about a group of monks playing this on there pubes and various other random things <3.
I like dubstep when it goes WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB WUB…
It's so filthy, when my mom walked in I had to switch to porn.
Oh my Jesus. Taking a bath in diarrhea would be cleaner than this filthy dubstep. :D
my Gf hated dubstep untill she sat on my subwoofer xD
Sounds like a tractor raping a dog...is that just me? O.o
My neighbors listen to dubstep, because they have to.
This song is so dirty that Mr. Clean made 2,4000 accounts just to hit the dislike button…
Michael J Fox doesn't have Parkinsons, he just heard this song and wasn't ready for it.
I like the part when my head started to bash the wall with the beat
The bass in this was so intense, I drank some orange juice.
Dancing is for fags. I fight gorillas to this music.
The drop is somewhere between Satan's penis and a Hobo's butthole as a far as cleanliness.
This is what Beethoven on an acid trip after 4 hits of cocaine and an army of droids sounds like.
The drop was so heavy that, well, it sounded really good. no faggy descriptions there.
Good sir, I believe i shat enough bricks to build a second Great Wall.
ok i literally looked for about 30 mins now be4 posting this...........fuckstep isnt a genre......... WHYYY?!?!?!?!
justin bieber's ball are never gonna have a drop as big as this songs drop :DDDDD

không

2011-05-02T03:52:00.001-04:00

не для меня придёт весна
не для меня дон разольётся
там сердце девичье забьётся
с восторгом чувств — не для меня

не для меня цветут сады
в долине роща расцветает
там соловей весну встречает
он будет петь — не для меня

не для меня журчат ручьи
текут алмазными струями
там дева с чёрными бровями
она растёт — не для меня

не для меня придёт пасха
за стол родня вся соберётся
вино по рюмочкам польётся
пасхальный день — не для меня

а для меня кусок свинца
он в тело белое вопьётся
и слёзы горькие прольются
такая жизнь — брат, ждёт меня

solidarjetà

2011-05-01T13:49:00.000-04:00

when the union's inspiration through the workers' blood shall run
there can be no power greater anywhere beneath the sun
yet what force on earth is weaker than the feeble strength of one
but the union makes us strong

is there aught we hold in common with the greedy parasite
who would lash us into serfdom and would crush us with his might
is there anything left to us but to organize and fight
for the union makes us strong

it is we who plowed the prairies, built the cities where they trade
dug the mines and built the workshops, endless miles of railroad laid
now we stand outcast and starving midst the wonders we have made
but the union makes us strong

all the world that's owned by idle drones is ours and ours alone
we have laid the wide foundations, built it skyward stone by stone
it it ours, not to slave in, but to master and to own
while the union makes us strong

they have taken untold millions that they never toiled to earn
but without our brain and muscle not a single wheel can turn
we can break their haughty power, gain out freedom when we learn
that the union makes us strong

in our hands is placed a power greater than their hoarded gold
greater than the might of armies, magnified a thousand–fold
we can bring to birth a new world from the ashes of the old
for the union makes us strong

we're the women of the union and we sure know how to fight
we'll fight for women's issues and we'll fight for women's rights
a woman's work is never done from morning until night
women make the union strong

it is we who wash the dishes, scrub the floors and clean the dirt
feed the kids and send them off to school—and then we go to work
where we work for half men's wages for a boss who likes to flirt
but the union makes us strong

they say our day is over, they say our time is through
they say you need no union if your collar isn't blue
well that is just another lie the boss is telling you
for the union makes us strong

they divide us by our color, they divide us by our tongue
they divide us men and women, they divide us old and young
but they'll tremble at our voices when they hear these verses sung
for the union makes us strong

solidarity forever
solidarity forever
solidarity forever
for the union makes us strong

lingg

2011-04-29T02:03:00.000-04:00

i was planning to write a long entry in here
one where i blow off steam and explain my anger
and i got most of the way through it,
when i decided a summation was more in order

i am a loyal person, extremely loyal in most cases
i take my involvement in groups/organizations/ideologies seriously
when you imply that i don't, and that i'll betray when it's convenient for me,
it really fucking bothers me
especially when i've done nothing but committed myself to it,
and taken great pains to become involved and leave my mark
it's about as close to being offended as i can get
so don't. EVER. fucking do it

i can take a joke, and i can grasp sarcasm,
but there is a major difference between those and passive seriousness
and believe me, i can tell which is which
especially when it's been bandied around for a while
so if you're going to make implications about me on the sly,
just know that i take it very seriously,
and it is not something i forgive easily

not exactly a summation,
but it's a hell of a lot shorter than what i had before

iron horse

2011-04-20T05:34:00.000-04:00

i learned a few things today:
—i can actually finish a crossword on my own accord, and
—i can finish two crosswords, a sudoku, a word find, and a number puzzle in an hour
—my coat isn't waterproof anymore
—i actually like the music of john tavener
—i found a word that perfectly sums up my feelings about my relationships with other people [even the sound of the word fits perfectly]
—it's never too cold to walk in a thunderstorm [though, truthfully, that was more a reminder than anything else]
—i don't ever want to read russian literature in russian

i feel like everyone i know is tired of hearing me bitch about russian
[this is where most people would promise to stop doing it so much]
well, i dunno what to tell you
on the plus side, i only have it for another two weeks
and then, very literally, NEVER AGAIN
[this is where most people would offer some sort of nostalgia]
i can't really remember shit about what i've learned these four years
other than dr merrill is a godsend, zarema is a nightmare
and i have the memory capacity of a retarded howler monkey
so, if you've suffered though me complaining about it this long,
at least be comforted in the fact that the end is nigh
and the beginning of me complaining about how much i've forgotten is at hand

if i didn't find its studiousness extremely tedious,
and its endless intricacies mind–numbing,
i'd honestly consider some sort of career in psychology
[and no, not as a clinical psychologist
would you want me psychoanalyzing your problems?]
the neurobiological sciences fascinate the fuck out of me,
and i love how they co–habitate with human psychology
if i felt like going through eons more schooling,
and actually had some sort of idea about what i could study,
maybe i'd take that route in the future
but i highly doubt it

there's a little drawing of me on the wall next to my desk
my friend eric drew it while we were working at our internships in new york
[it's one of my facebook profile photos, for those who can see them]
i've always kinda liked him
couldn't tell you why, i just do
i imagine this was going somewhere in my head,
but as words on the interwubs it seems to be just another dead–end thought
oh well

because i mentioned how much i've taken a shine to tavener,
and because i've been listening to this the entire time i've been writing this,
here's a composition of his i particularly enjoy

alleluia
may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest
alleluia
remember me, o lord, when you come into your kingdom
alleluia
give rest, o lord, to your handmaid, who has fallen asleep
alleluia
the choir of saints have found the well–spring of life and door of paradise
alleluia
life: a shadow and a dream
alleluia
weeping at the grave creates the song: alleluia
come, enjoy the rewards and crowns i have prepared for you
alleluia

prăbușire

2011-04-12T19:47:00.000-04:00

wonder how you sleep
i wonder what you think of me
if i could go back,
would you have ever been with me?
i want you to be uneased
i want you to remember
i want you to believe in me
i want you on my side

here we go again,
ashamed of being broken in
we're getting off track
i wanna get you back again
i want you to trouble me
i wanted you turning down
i want you to agree with me
i want so much so bad

yeah, be my savior

only love can save us now
don't lay me down
only love can save us now
i'll be your downfall
ah, love can save us now
don't save me now

come on and lay it down
i've always been with you
here and now
with all that's within you
be my savior,
and i'll be your downfall
mmm

now i'm back on my own
with my feet, they're made of stone
and i'll make you go where i go
it's killin' me, can i take you home?
and i'm comin' home on my back
kissing me, your lips painted black
saying oh,
let me be your downfall

route 8

2011-04-09T05:41:00.002-04:00

it's 5`30 in the morning on a saturday
and i'm doing homework

am i the only person who can go out to a party on a friday night,
drink, hang out with people, have all–around good time
come home around 4`30 in the morning
then almost immediately start doing this?

i feel like this kind of behavior is frowned upon
some sort of intervention should probly take place

keynote

2011-04-06T18:50:00.001-04:00

so,
i'm not sure if any of you noticed,
but i was gone during fall semester of 2010
[i know, right? i had no idea either]
so if you keep referencing shit that happened here then,
and i give you a confused look,
one that connotes '…the hell are you talking about?',
that's why

there is a reason i bring this up
[and no, it's not to bitch about what i just did]
last november i got a 'call for papers' forwarded to me
normally i don't respond to those,
or even consider them,
[usually cuz nothing i've done would qualify]
but this one kind of intrigued me
i could do a talk in lieu of presenting a paper,
and it was on a topic that interested me,
so i gave it a shot

last week, after three months of waiting to hear back
i found out that my proposal got accepted
which means i get to give my first conference presentation here in june
at the working class studies association's 2011 in conference in chicago on june 23rd
i'll be talking about the state of labor education in the u.s.,
and the program i took part in over the fall
should be a good time
[also, i might get a scholarship for it
sweet, sweet money]

in other news,
uconn won the men's championship on monday
and i am pleased

dgiâbl'ye

2011-04-06T05:32:00.000-04:00

i live my life like there's no tomorrow
and all i've got i had to steal
least i don't need to beg or borrow
yes, i'm livin' at a pace that kills

i found the simple life ain't so simple
when i jumped out on that road
i got no love, no love you'd call real
ain't got nobody waitin' at home

you know i,
i found the simple life weren't so simple, no
when i jumped out on that road,
got no love, no love you'd call real
got nobody waitin' at home

runnin' with the devil
[i'm gonna tell ya all about it]
runnin' with the devil
[goddamn it lady, you know i ain't lyin to ya
i'm only gonna tell you one time]
runnin' with the devil
[hold on, hold on, i'm runnin]
runnin' with the devil
[yes i am]

condamnée

2011-03-27T22:15:00.000-04:00

what passing–bells for these who die as cattle?
only the monstrous anger of the guns.
only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
can patter out their hasty orisons.
no mockeries for them; no prayers nor bells,
nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,—
the shrill, demented choirs of the wailing shells;
and bugles calling for them from sad shires.

what candles may be held to speed them all?
not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
the pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;
their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
and each slow dusk a drawing–down of blinds

nehéz

2011-03-24T02:13:00.000-04:00

now i've come to cry
shed your skin to rest my naked eye, and criticize,
all that i implore
seems to be one foot outside that door,
coming between me and waking

underneath the corset of your mystery
piece by piece, undress you from your history
i'm sleeping with seclusion in sweet disarray

born unto this pride,
silence is something you can't hide
you can't deny us,
nothing has been said,
yet so many words have filled my head
now they completely surround me

tie the lines of honest conductivity,
caught between the center of our gravity
i don't have that much time to burn anymore

you can go heavy on me,
and i will not weigh you down
you can be steady and clean,
i can take it
heavy on me, and i will not weigh you down

fionnúir

2011-03-23T07:13:00.002-04:00

it's 6`30 in the morning, and the only emotion i feel is hunger
which is quite a feat,
considering i spent the entire weekend puking my guts out
and i do mean that literally
i managed to reach a point, about 12 hours into pure, abject sickness,
where i truly had nothing left in my body to vomit
it was quite the experience

tonight's batch of homework was noteworthy,
in the sense that, for the first time in at least two months,
i haven't been fist–shakingly angry by the time i finished
i believe it's the calming influence of rise against
perhaps, when the two are tackled in tandem,
they result in a perfectly harmonious, productive coupling
[well, not perfectly, but relatively close]
i'll have to keep that in mind when i write my essay sometime tomorrow

a true testament to the delirium under which i'm currently operating
not twenty minutes ago, i was trying to figure out what a word meant
my russian prof had spelled it wrong [surprise, surprise],
so i was left trying to guess at the right spelling
thankfully, i have a handy online dictionary for that
a handy online dictionary that offers spelling suggestions when you fuck up
so i finally found the word, in its perfective form
then, i see what its perfective form is:
соскакивать [pronounced 'sauce–COCK–ih-vuhts]
i laughed so hard i couldn't breathe for a solid minute and a half
it was truly the highlight of my morning

it's been raining pretty steadily for about the past twelve hours here,
though it's slowly increased over the past hour or so
which i found out when i got ready to leave the library
normally, when i go galavanting around in the rain,
i do so with as close to unmitigated joy as you'll ever get from me
this morning, though, it was rather mitigated
due to the fact that i had my laptop in my backpack
backpack–lugging tends to dampen the effects of rain on my mood
[not to put too fine a pun on it]

i saw the score from the msu–green bay women's game last night,
and was rather surprised
i would've imagined the women's team to go farther than the second round
the post–season has not been kind to big–name msu athletics this school year
they just can't seem to catch a break
now that i think about it, of the two sports i do watch regularly
[college/pro fooball and men's/women's college basketball],
none of the teams i've picked to go far [or win it all] have
they've all fallen by the wayside at some point before the season is over
that doesn't bode well, especially for my true favorite team
now is not the time to let me down, uconn huskies
you already failed me in the fiesta bowl this year,
don't fail me in the ncaa tournament

and now for a short commercial break [so i can go get food]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk9oa_PiXAk
we now return to your regularly–scheduled ramblings,
all ready in progress

i'm not particularly sure when it started,
but i've started reading the freep a couple times a week
especially on tuesdays/thursdays, when i have my early class
i don't really have a reason why,
especially considering that there are better newspapers out there
[but, unfortunately, none that i have free access to
it's either that, the state news, usatoday, and/or the new york times
i'll be damned if i stoop so low as to read the times,
usatoday really just sucks (aside from their daily puzzles,
and the state news is just campus/city news usually]
i dunno, there just seems to be something right about sitting down,
getting some food, drinking a cup of tea, and reading the paper
maybe it's cuz i'm secretly a 40 year old man inside,
but it's one of those things i just seem to enjoy

also, i just realized something:
this is my first non–lyric post in a month [not to the day, unfortunately]
i'm not sure what i should think about that
on one hand, it's mostly good music, so there's no real loss
on the other, that gets really boring and stupid after a while
i probly shouldn't do it again
but i can guarantee i will

i don't know why,
i'm not sure what prompted it,
i don't even know where it came from
but i just had the insanely strong urge to watch the 'i'm on a boat' video
somewhere, somehow brombrom just started laughing,
and he's not sure why

addendum:
after looking back at it, and thinking about it for a good 30 seconsds,
i think 'it's 6`30 in the morning, and the only emotion i feel is hunger'
may in fact be the best opening line i've ever written on anything, ever
thoughts?

dümìnica

2011-03-13T00:46:00.000-05:00

on a sunday i'll think it though
on the drive back, i'll think it through
what you wish for won't come true
live with that

and on a sunday she thought it through
now as i drive back, there's thirty–six less hours
i have to change the course i send myself
live with that

on a sunday, go once around
because when the ride's done, the hopes that you have carried,
they fall out from your hands back to the ground
live with that

learn as the drugs leave
learn as you lose it
you will

the haze clears from your eyes on a sunday

dy' sadorn

2011-03-12T04:22:00.000-05:00

saturday, what a day, what a silly little day
time to kill, take a pill, as i sit and contemplate
how i'd like to be around all the people in the town
with their fancy cars and things
but i, i've got time

in the haste, in the grace, i've been up to my waist
it isn't real what you feel when you find love in a chase
i've been waiting for the day when someone takes me away
and i never get replaced
but i've got time

as i sink, one more drink, i am running out of ink
feeling void, paranoid about every little thing
and i wonder if i try to get up and say goodbye
if i'll have the strength to leave
cuz i don't have much time anymore

stop pushin' all your tragedies away
each moment has got a lesson for the day
take something with you if you drag your heels in yesterdays
oh, these saturdays

di-haoine

2011-03-11T13:21:00.000-05:00

i want to believe in myself once again
so i dream of a man whose hopes never end
to kiss with a girl who's as lovely as you
i'd give you my heart if you gave me the truth

and for every tear that is lost from an eye,
i'd dig me a well where no man could destroy
i want to believe in a freedom that's bold
but all i remember is the freedom of old

well i lost me a wife, so i found me a plane
flew all the way to california
this mess in my head is a mess getting out
you drink too much coffee, i drink too much stout

but after a while, when my mouth ain't so dry
i'll dance up a storm, sure life's looking fine
but as darkness falls i return to my bed
don't ask me more questions, don't fuck with my head

the buildings they shake, but my heart it beats still
oh mother of jesus, i feel pretty ill
i want to go home where my feet both feel safe
but there ain't no jobs in the old free state

so i must remain in my new adopted land
i'm doing the best, hell i'm doin' all i can
so the next time you see me, don't ask for my name
for i am the kind and sure long may i reign

i've been down in this world, down and almost broken
like thousands of people, left standing in their shoe
i've been down in this world, down and almost broken
as thousands they grieve as the black friday rule

dunnaschda

2011-03-10T20:13:00.000-05:00

all of my life i've tried so hard
doing my best with what i had
nothing much happened all the same

something about me stood apart
a whisper of hope that seemed to fail
maybe i'm born right out of my time
breaking my life in two

sometimes i cried my heart to sleep
shuffling days and lonesome nights
sometimes my courage fell to my feet

lucky old sun is in my sky
nothing prepared me for your smile
lighting the darkness of my soul
innocence in your arms

throw me tomorrow,
now that i've really got a chance
throw me tomorrow,
everything's falling into place
throw me tomorrow
seeing my past to let it go
throw me tomorrow
only for you i don't regret
that i was thursday's child

monday, tuesday, wednesday, born i was
monday, tuesday, wednesday, born i was
thursday's child

dimècres

2011-03-09T00:53:00.000-05:00

it happens only in the day time,
she looks to me and says
but it's only in the night time, oh
she pulls me closer to her body so i can hear

out of knowledge in a way
from passing through her head
as it spins out of life and time
she keeps on trying to fight the evil in her mind

there's a kink and then a scream
but it's only in her dream
i look around and it's you, oh
i can't believe it's only wednesday
and she can't see that everyone is there except for me
i know i don't want to lose this time

and she looks to me,
but she can't even believe it
but i don't want to lose this time

dinnßdaach

2011-03-08T01:51:00.002-05:00

i can hear this silence crawl around
hello you thinkers, hello you fakers
and i see the summer drown you dry
hello you lovers, hello you dreamers

when i feel so insecure
i will need you, turn around

i can feel this sadness drag you down
hello you talkers, hello you sleepers
and i see this madness close your eyes
hello mistreaters, hello you weepers

when i feel so insecure
grace my day, please stay around

there's no one left to decide who is right or wrong
waiting's not enough for you
wasting what i want the most
tuesday's gone and i'm tasting it over
let me reside with the same old view
sharing's all i need from you
taking what i want the most
tuesday's near, and i wish that you were here

if this comfort holds you down,
i would gladly pull you out

it's a heavy
[keep, keep, keep me awake somehow]
now

düşämbe

2011-03-07T00:34:00.004-05:00

monday, monday, so good to me
monday mornin', it was all i hoped it would be
oh monday mornin', monday mornin' couldn't guarantee
that monday evenin' you would still be here with me

monday, monday, can't trust that day
monday, monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
oh monday mornin', you gave me no warnin' of what was to be
oh monday, monday, how could you leave and not take me

every other day, every other day,
every other day of the week is fine, yeah
but whenever monday comes, but whenever monday comes
you can find me cryin' all of the time

indvendig

2011-02-23T05:33:00.000-05:00

сон
странный сон
я вижу отражение себя

столько лет
во мне
все слова

во мне
тишина

снова дождь
стучит свои признания луне

этот дождь
наверное не знает обо мне

во мне
корабли
во мне
города
во мне
вся любовь
во мне
всё что есть

くろづる

2011-02-22T02:36:00.003-05:00

мне кажется порою, что солдаты,
с кровавых не пришедшие полей,
не в землю нашу полегли когда–то,
а превратились в белых журавлей.

они до сей поры с времён тех дальних,
летят и подают нам голоса,
не потому ль так часто и печально,
мы замолкаем, глядя в небеса?

летит, летит по небу клин усталый,
летит в тумане на исходе дня,
и в том строю есть промежуток малый,
быть может, это место для меня.

настанет день, и с журавлиной стаей,
я поплыву в такой же сизой мгле,
из–под небес по–птичьи окликая,
всех вас, кого оставил на земле.

stfa

2011-02-21T16:47:00.000-05:00

easily the funniest thing i've heard all day:

'Roger Sherman is the Pete Best of the Founding Fathers,
in that he "also" served on the committee that drafted the Declaration of Independence.'

if you laughed as hard as i did at that,
then you are truly a nerd
congrats

brooke marine

2011-02-19T14:47:00.000-05:00

no, i'm not

üzüntü

2011-02-10T13:33:00.003-05:00

circle of sorrow, let me come in
your secret affair was whispered in there
don't charge me a fare to go back home
it's familiar to me, i'll go it alone

don't try to walk me, but lead me and see
my will is strong, but my heart is weak
hide in the shadows, i'll find you there
fall from the heavens, and i'll catch you in the air

and you'll find a home with me
oh, you'll find a home, with me

hide in the shadows, i'll find you there
fall from the heavens, i'll find you in the air
wait by the river that flows to the sea
swim in the water, that brought you home to me

and, you'll find a home, with me
you'll find a home, with me

circle of sorrow, let me come in
your secret affair was whispering there
don't charge any money to go back home
it's familiar to me, i'll go it alone

but you'll find a home here with me
i said you'll find a home, with me

wait by the river that flows to the sea
oh, swim in the water that brought you home to me
hide in the shadows, i'll find you there
fall from the heavens, and i'll catch you in the air

oh you'll find a home with me
you'll find a home, right here with me

sées

2011-02-07T17:11:00.001-05:00

i had one of my best experiences at college yesterday
no, seryusly
SERYUSLY

i got a text around noon–thirty sunday afternoon
asking if i wanted tickets to the women's basketball game
being the women's bball fan i am,
i immediately said yes and took the offer
but holy shit did i have no idea what i was in for

the reason i got them is thus:
rha does a housing bash/signup/thing every year called 'rock the block'
and they have a raffle they do every year at said bash/signup/thing
you sign up for housing, you get entered
apparently this year's prize was free tickets to the women's bball game
but, because rha took too much time telling people about it,
no one came to pick them up
one of my friends happens to be a deskie who works in abbot
and, seeing that there were multiple tickets available,
asked if they would be available if no one claimed them
they were, so she grabbed a couple and invited some people
i happened to be one of the lucky few

turns out, they weren't just game tickets
they were tickets for box seats
in one of the two boxes available at breslin
[apparently the other one is usually taken by lupe izzo]
so i got to watch the game like this [though slightly more to the left]
which was pretty fucking cool
not only did we get to sit in the luxury suite,
we were fucking CATERED. FOR. FREE
we got anything to have anything they offered
and believe you me, it was pretty damn good food

in addition to that,
it was free tshirt day for students
so i got me a shirt that says 'BEAT PURDUE' on it
and, because students like looking for free stuff,
we found basketball posters in one of the drawers of the kitchenette
so i now have a women's bball poster hanging in my room

the best part of all?
the ladies very thoroughly handled purdue, 76–57
with that, they move up #2 in the big ten
and #11 in the country
hopefully, if they keep playing like they have
[and if the men can't pull themselves together]
and make a strong run through the ncaa tourney,
these women will actually get sold–out home crowds
and the credit they deserve
cuz hot damn, they are good
maybe someday i'll get to see them play uconn
and with that fantasy, i'll stop

ADDENDUM:
i saw this on stumbleupon,
and laughed too hard not to share this:
"As a homosexual MLIAer, can I just say—
stop calling Edward Cullen gay.
We don't want him either. MLIA."

penny sit–up

2011-02-01T18:02:00.000-05:00

a moderate collection of thoughts:

people are freaking the fuck out over this blizzard,
and i think it's hilarious
this is the shit we live for, people!
this is what living in the midwest is about
absurd amounts of snow, wind, and cold
just be grateful that msu gave us a snow day

[ADDENDUM:
i saw a national guard helicopter fly over on my way back from qd
shit just got serious]

i really lucked out with my choice of classes this semester
after realizing that geology class wasn't for me,
i managed to pick an entomology class with a great prof
go figure
now if only i could get rid of these damn nat/sci requirements,
i'd be all set

i'm debating which video game i should stay up all night playing
current slate:
–grand theft auto III
–killzone
–king kong
–max payne
thoughts?

as much as i enjoy doing graphic design,
i don't think i could ever do it for a living
i'm not nearly creative/artistic enough for this shit
thankfully most of my stuff doesn't look bad
but it doesn't look great either
at least i'm getting a little better at it

i bought a six–pack last night to drink throughout the week
and, by coincidence, also have an unopened box of cheerios
what does this mean?
tonight, i'm having beerios

marija

2011-01-28T04:15:00.000-05:00

what's the matter, mary jane, had a hard day?
so place the 'don't disturb' sign on the door
you lost your place in line again, what a pity,
you never seem to want to dance anymore

it's a long way down on this roller coaster
the last–chance streetcar went off the track
and you're on it

i hear you're counting sheep again, mary jane
what's the point of trying to dream anymore?
i hear you're losing weight again, mary jane
do you ever wonder who you're losing it for?

well, it's full speed, baby, in the wrong direction
there's a few more bruises if that's the way
you insist on heading

please be honest, mary jane, are you happy?
please don't censor your tears

you're the sweet crusader, and you're on your way
you're the last great innocent
and that's why i love you

so take this moment, mary jane, and be selfish
worry not about the cars that go by
'cuz all that matters, mary jane, is your freedom
so keep warm, my dear, keep dry

tell me, what's the matter, mary jane?

vyras

2011-01-24T21:12:00.002-05:00

i can hear my train comin'
it's a lonesome and distant cry
i can hear my train comin'
now i'm runnin' for my life
what makes a man walk away from his mind?
i think i know
i think i might know

i can feel the wind blowin'
it's sending shivers down my spine
i can feel the wind blowin'
it shakes the trees and the power lines
what makes a man spend his whole life in disguise?
i think i know
i think i might know

i can see the sun settin'
it's casting shadows on the sea
i can see the sun, it's settin'
it's getting colder and starting to freeze
what makes a man what to break a heart with ease?
i think i know
i think i might know

well i can hear my train comin'
looks like time is not on my side
well i can hear my train comin'
i'm still runnin' for my life
what makes a man pray when he's about to die?
i think i know
i think i might know

peregrination

2011-01-23T05:45:00.001-05:00

i feel the need to share this,
mostly because i can,
and partly because i'll forget to if i don't now

i just got back from the longest trek i've ever taken in e/l
in short:
i started at knob hill apartments in okemos
i ended at phillips hall in east lansing
i left at 3`30 a/m
i got back at 5`06 a/m
distance? 5 miles
temperature? –2º
beard? frozen
it was well worth it

and now, to bed
cuz i'm fucking tired

huracà

2011-01-08T01:11:00.000-05:00

no walls can keep me protected
no sleep, nothing in between me and the rain
and you can't save me now,
i'm in the grip of a hurricane
i'm gonna blow myself away

no home, i don't want your shelter
no calm, nothing to keep me from the storm
and you can't hold me down
'cuz i belong to the hurricane
it's gonna blow us all away

i hope that you see me,
'cuz i'm staring at you
but when you look over,
you look right through
then you lean and kiss her on the head
and i never felt so alive,
and so dead

i'm going out,
i'm gonna drink myself to death
and in the crowd,
i see you with someone else
i brace myself,
'cuz i know it's going to hurt
but i like to think at least things can't get any worse

repost

2010-12-31T13:37:00.001-05:00

i posted this on my other blog
but i figured i'd throw the link up here, too
cuz i dunno how many of you schmucks read the other one

at any rate,
after putting it off for the better part of 18 months,
i finally went through my hard drive
and put my photos from russia online
i had no real reason for doing it now,
other than i was INSANELY bored on the train ride back
and i needed something to do,
so i went through and edited all the photos on my computer
[and i do mean all of them]

so, here for your viewing pleasure
[along with my photos from new york/chicago/dc]
are my photos from russia
enjoy

picasaweb.google.com/nuyorussia
[in case it isn't clear,
'vg' stands for volgograd
'sp' is saint petersburg
'msc' is moscow]

rossinyol

2010-12-25T14:08:00.001-05:00

ríu, ríu, chíu
la guarda ribera:
dios guardó del lobo
a nuestra cordera

el lobo rabioso
la quiso morder,
mas dios poderoso
la supo defender;
quisola hacer
que no pudiese pecar,
ni aun original
esta virgen no tuviera

este que es nacido
es el gran monarca,
cristo patriarca
de carne vestido;
hanos redimido
con se hacer chiquito
aunque era infinito,
finito se hiciera

muchas profecías
lo han profetizado,
y aun en nuestros días
lo hemos alcanzado.
a dios humanado
vemos en el suelo,
y al hombre en el cielo
porque el le quisiera

yo vi mil garzones
que andaban cantando,
por aquí volando
haciendo mil sones,
diciendo a gascones:
"gloria sea en el cielo
y paz en el suelo,
pues jesús naciera"

yltäkylläinen

2010-12-23T01:35:00.002-05:00

щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилeтiла ластiвочка,

стала собi щебетати,
господаря викликати:
"вийди, вийди, господарю,
подивися на кошару,

там овечки покотились,
а ягнички народились.
в тебе товар весь хороший,
будеш мати мiрку грошей,

в тебе товар весь хороший,
будеш мати мiрку грошей,
хоч не грошi, то полова:
в тебе жiнка чорноброва."

щедрик щедрик, щедрiвочка,
прилeтiла ластiвочка.

madwar

2010-12-16T02:09:00.002-05:00

i call you my friend
and that's all that i do
why do i have to pretend
to find ways to be around you?

you've been there all along,
holding my hand like you do
why do i feel that it's wrong
to love to be around you?

do you feel what i feel?
well? do you feel this way too?
that every wound seems to heal
when i am around you

and i think i'm losing my mind,
maybe i've been hopelessly blind
to your beauty
and you have a sweet, sinful smile
i'm in trouble
cuz you turn me upside down
and around and around

and i must be losing my mind,
maybe you have a sweet, sinful smile
i'm in trouble
cuz you turn me upside down
and around and around

my feet don't touch the ground
when i'm around you

hladový

2010-12-04T15:46:00.001-05:00

rien de dormier cette nuit
je veux de toi
jusqu'à ce que je sois sec
mais nos corps sont tout mouillés
complètement couvert de sueur
nous nous noyons dans la marée
je n'ais aucun désir
tu as ravagé mon cœur
et moi j'ai bu ton sang

tout le monde est à moi
je l'ai gagné dans un jeu de cartes
et maintenant je m'en fous
c'était gagné trop facilement
ça y est alors ma belle traîtresse
il faut que je brûle de jalousie
tu as ravagé mon cœur
et moi j'ai bu ton sang

mais non pouvons faire ce que nous voulons
j'aurais toujours faim de toi

no matter what i do,
i'm still hungry for you

över

2010-11-29T20:38:00.002-05:00

you better crawl on your knees
and the next time you say that you love me,
fall on your knees
cuz this time i won't be so kind
can't you see that this is life, and life
is killing me?
is it yours? is it mine?
our sky fell down tonight,
to wash away our pain

you better see how evil you can be
when you see my evil smile
it's the one that you'll remember
when i am not so kind
can't you see that this is death, and death
is saving me
i say burn all of your bridges
while you still have control of the flame
i know it's hard, but you

tell me, over and over and over and over and over again
it never was the time for us,
it never was the time to let me in
show me, over and over and over and over and over again
the time for us,
it never was the time to let me in

you're hard and to the point,
so hard and to the point