you better crawl on your knees
and the next time you say that you love me,
fall on your knees
cuz this time i won't be so kind
can't you see that this is life, and life
is killing me?
is it yours? is it mine?
our sky fell down tonight,
to wash away our pain

you better see how evil you can be
when you see my evil smile
it's the one that you'll remember
when i am not so kind
can't you see that this is death, and death
is saving me
i say burn all of your bridges
while you still have control of the flame

i know it's hard, but you

tell me, over and over and over and over and over again
it never was the time for us,
it never was the time to let me in
show me, over and over and over and over and over again
the time for us,
it never was the time to let me in

you're hard and to the point,
so hard and to the point


the new movement

i'm writing this post on the bus to my hometown
where i'll be spending thanksgiving with my family
[and hopefully some of the few friends i still keep in touch with]
i don't think i've ever been on a bus ride this smooth before
cuz we all know how fucked up the roads are in michigan
and the ones in new york are just as bad, if not worse

also, it seems i have a new favorite cramped sleeping position
sitting, with my backpack in my lap
one foot on the footrest, the other curled underneath me
arms crossed over my bag, face down in my arms
and my head squarely pushing on the seat in front of me
that's how i've fallen asleep on every single trip i've taken this year
it seems to be developing into habit,
and i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not
at least i've managed to find a non–painful position
every other time i've fallen asleep on transit,
my neck always ends up in excruciating pain for a day or two

at any rate,
if anyone needs to get a hold of me,
i'm gonna be off the grid until monday at some point
which feels like a fucking treat after living in new york
fucking everyone's always wired into the system
no wonder they try to get away from it so often

speaking of getting away
i love coming back to places i haven't seen in years
it always gives me such a visceral reaction
tons of memories come flooding back,
and i get to see places i haven't seen in too long
fuck i missed connecticut



i awoke, only to find my lungs empty
through the night, so it seems i'm not breathing
and now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be
and i'm breaking down,
i think i'm breaking down

and i'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me,
such as living with the uncertainty
that i'll never never find the words to say,
which would completely explain
just how i'm breaking down

i've become the simple souvenir of someone's kill
like the sea, i'm constantly changing from calm to ill
madness fills my heart and soul,
as if the great divide could swallow me whole
oh, how i'm breaking down

someone come and, someone come and save my life
maybe i'll sleep when i am dead,
but now it's like the night is taking sides
with all the worries that occupy the back of my mind,
could it be this misery will suffice?



'twas halloween and the ghosts were out,
and everywhere they'd go, they'd shout,
and though i covered my eyes i knew
they'd go away

but fear's the only thing i saw,
and three days later, was clear to all
that nothing is as scary as
election day

but the day after is darker,
and darker and darker it goes,
who knows, maybe the plans will change,
who knows, maybe he's not deranged

the news men know what they know, but they
know even less than what they say,
and i don't know who i can trust,
for come what may

'cause we believed in our candidate,
but even more, it's the one we hate,

i needed someone i could shake
on election day

but the day after is darker,
and deeper and deeper we go,
who knows, maybe it's all a dream
who knows if i'll wake up and scream

i love the things that you've given me,
i cherish you, my dear country,
but sometimes i don't understand
the way we play

i love the things that you've given me,
and most of all that i am free
to have a song that i can sing
on election day