i love my cat
she gives the best looks
[which is no surprise, considering i'm infamous for mine]
also, she's cuddly and all black
and i love her good
that is all

i seem to be at odds with lots of people i know
most seem to be clamoring for school to start up again
[which is still a month off]
while i'm enjoying my summer and not really ready for it to end
talk about a fucking role reversal
usually i can't wait for summer to be done
so it goes

i can't really peg down a reason for this,
but despite the fact that i've spent a lot of time down in e/l this summer
[which is an inexact qualifier,
since any time is a lot compared to the none of summers past]
i've felt more isolated from my friends than i thought i would
not really sure why,
but i feel this weird disconnect from everyone i've talked to/seen
maybe i'm regressing into my old friendship fears/insecurities
that or i'm so blinded by stupidity i'm imagining all of it
who the fuck knows

i would like it known that i typed 'friendhip' originally in the above,
and it cracked my shit up
i imagined a weird adam's rib–type situation,
where you break off pieces of your hip bone[s]
and create friends by growing them in a host body
i'm gonna chalk that up to fatigue and dementia



ta kõnnib mööda köit
kahe pilvelõhkuja vahel
kergel sammul läheb
kui kõnniks lihtsalt mööda teed
habras õhuke joon
viib üle hea ja kurja vahelt
silmapiir ta ees
kui unistuste riim

on tõusmas tuul
aega jäänud on vähe
uudistaja pilgud taevas
jälgivad ta teed
nii kõndides
kui hea ja kurja vahel
ta endale kindlaks jäädes
kaugustesse läheb

päikese poole
tormi–lindude tee viib kaasa
kandes ta soove
suurlinna tolmustelt teedelt
valguse poole
hämaraist varjudest kaugemale
samm–haaval liigub
noor ja kartmatu hing



i normally try not to d this,
and i can't promise i'll never do it again,
but i want to draw you guys' attention to something:
please, read the article all the way through,
then be as pissed about it as i am,
and continue

in short:
if you are a member of the u.s. military,
you were given training, given a paid position,
and never had the misfortune of being in combat,
be fucking thankful
be grateful, be relieved, and quit being an asshole
if you are a person who enlisted in the military,
and you are 'frustrated, disappointed, or shamed',
then you obviously didn't sign up for the right reasons
you should never sign up for the military for the following reasons:
–'misguided rage'
–the urge to kill someone
–desire to be wounded
–desire to see combat, or
–recognition and/or achievement

if you enlist for any of the above,
then there's a reason you never saw combat
if you are so angry that you enlist solely to kill 'the enemy'
then there's no difference between you and a serial killer
the people in this article are not who should be representing the u.s.
these are bloodthirsty murderers who wanted to get away with it
i repeat: if you are so lucky that you serve a stint without seeing combat,
be fucking grateful
because i would rather die at the hands of al–qaeda
than be fought for by any of the people in that article



my pain is self chosen
at least, so the prophet says
i could either burn,
or cut off my pride and buy some time

a head full of lies is the weight,
tied to my waist

my pain is self chosen
at least, i believe it to be
i could either drown,
or pull off my skin and swim to shore
now i can grow a beautiful shell
for all to see

the river of deceit pulls down, yeah,
the only direction we flow is down
down, oh down

the pain is self chosen, yeah,
our pain is self chosen



wish i could say i have something new to say
but, i really don't
i can say, though,
that i finally got that shitty electrodancepop out of my system
after six straight fucking days of it
apparently, there was only one acceptable followup to it
i guess béla bartók follows up dan black better than i thought
who'd have known

as a complete aside,
i have a particular affinity for bartók
mostly his incredible efforts in cataloging european folk music
i've always found him to be incredibly underrated
since, as martin landau says in ed wood,
'now, nobody gives two fucks for béla'
[it's at 2`20]
i also got some more cds of him today at the library
which i am so looking forward to listening to

since i've moved on to better music
i'm going to listen to the soothing sounds of román népi táncok
probly while blowing shit up in call of duty
summer definitely has it's pluses



after a week of 90º or higher, coupled with 50% humidity,
i have two thoughts:
how the fuck do people in the south not kill themselves?
and, thank sweet and holy jaysus for a/c
the heat/humid combo also makes impossible to get shit done
considering how much i sweat [and how little it takes to make me sweat]
i really don't like working in the heat
so everyday i've come in from outside, i've been fucking soaked
fuck this bullshit nonsense, i'm moving to greenland
guess it's time for me to learn danish

my efforts to keep busy have mostly been a success
after vowing that i wouldn't waste another summer doing 'nothing'
['nothing' being watching tv, playing video games, and drinking slurpees]
i've been doing basically anything that'll make me do something
the bulk of it's been yardwork,
which is never not a blast and a half
my job was supposed to help with this too,
but considering how few hours i've gotten since i started,
it's a miserable failure in that regard
such is life in genesee county, i guess

i'm not really sure why,
but i got three different invites to audition for shit today
nothing major, just some random projects/plays people are putting on
i'm just surprised/confused they came at the same time
i might consider them,
but, since the last summer movie i took part in STILL isn't done,
and the one i started lo these many years ago never took off,
i dunno

and now for something completely different:
this is truly the greatest headline i've read in a long time
jury's still out on whether it was intentional or not,
but it still had 'teh lulz' factor going for it
'tired gay succumbs to dix in 200 meters'
it leads to so many awesome questions:
why was he a tired gay?
why did it take [only] 200 meters for him to succumb?
also, why did they use the word 'succumb'?
you'd think it was more of a willing submission
regardless, good job, reuters reporter

i've been listening to shitty electropop/dance for the past three days
and i can't fucking stop
it's starting to become a real problem
apparently, too much eric prydz, sam sparro, hercules and love affair, alexander perls,
dschinghis khan, frankmusik, lady gaga, david guetta, morandi, and dan black is bad
i can't get this shit out of my head
at least if i die in the near future, you'll know why