там, вдали за рекой
засверкали огни
в небе ясном заря дорогала
сотня юных бойцов
из будённовских войск
на разведку в поля поскакала

они ехали долго
в ночной тишине
по широкой украинской степи
вдруг вдали у реки
заверскали штыки
это белогвардейские цепи

и без страха отряд
поскакал на врага
завязалась кровавая битва
и боец молодой
вдруг поник головой
комсомольское сердце пробито

он упал возле ног
вороного коня
и закрыл свои карие очи
ты, конёк вороной
передай дорогой
что я честно погиб за рабочих

там, вдали за рекой
уж погасил огни
в небе ясном заря загоралась
капли крови густой
из груди молодой
на зелёную трабку сбегали


œdipus complex

for all of you out there who appreciate greek tragedy
a little play on the theme of oedipus rex
it's kinda raunchy, kinda weird, but really funny
gotta love the british sense of humor


blue boar club

as a male in the 18–35 age demographic,
i love me some video games [big surprise, yeah?]
and this week i finally got to play some again
after a few weeks of abstinence/lack of time
and as i was playing one of my favorites from high school,
[the one with, among other things, the angry bitey rabbits]
i could hear a song playing in my head,
but i couldn't remember what the hell it was
i stopped playing and looked it up
turns out, it was 'everything burns',
a song i used to listen to all the time when i played it

i'm not sure how often this happens with the rest of you,
but for me,
every game i play has a song/album i associate with it
going back all the way to my old computer games
and i every time i hear these songs
i always really want to play those games again
[kinda like my part–of–speech/color connection]

dunno if this is gonna interest anyone in the least,
but i'm gonna put some of these song/game combos up
maybe you'll find something you like from them
or, at the very least,
it'll give you something to make fun of me for

wolfenstein 3d – eric clapton, cold turkey
starcraft – craig armstrong, hanging
weird world – straylight run, existentialism on prom night
dune 2000 – frank klepacki, land of sand
midtown madness – matchbox 20, downfall
empire II – weird al, amish paradise

gta III – craig gray, fade away
gta: vice city – imogen heap, daylight robbery/diane reeves, how high the moon
gta: san andreas – ludovico einaudi, andare
gta liberty city stories – mobb deep, shook ones, pt. 2
gta vice city stories – the cult, she sells sanctuary
bully – the honorary title, stuck at sea
maximo: ghosts to glory – korn, thoughtless
maximo vs. army of zin – anastacia f/ ben moody, everything burns
mafia – duke ellington, the mooche
killzonee – john murphy, sunshine [adagio in d minor]
call of duty: finest hour – red army choir, там, вдали за рекой
call of duty: big red one – christopher lennertz, to stalingrad
the godfather – stephen sondheim, johanna
true crime: streets of la – goon squad, royal blunt
true crime: new york city – we are scientists, callbacks
metal gear solid 2 – don davis, navras
metal gear solid 3 – starsailor, way to fall
star wars, episode III – john williams, the droid invasion
left4dead – charlie clouser, hello zepp
left4dead 2 – dirty dozen brass band, i shall not be moved
medal of honor: frontline – michael giacchino, er lässt mich niemals allein



gee, ain't it hard to love someone,
someone when they don't love you
feelin' so disgusted, heartbroken too
i hardly know, i hardly know what to do

once i was crazy, i was crazy about a gal
a gal that mistreated me all the time
but the next gal i get,
she must promise me she'll be mine
all mine

ain't never loved but three womens in my life
well, i ain't never loved but three womens in my life
that was my mother and my sister,
and the gal that wrecked my life

but someday, i'll have the world in a jug
and i'll hold the stopper here in my hand
someday i'll have the world in a jug
and i'll have that stopper right here in my hand
lord, an' i'm gonna hold my baby
until she come under my command

but baby, when i'm gone
i wonder who's gonna walk in and take my place?
baby, tell me, when i'm gone
who's gonna walk in an' take my place?
you know, i'm sorry for the guy
if i catch him snorin' in my baby's face



somethin' filled up my heart with nothin'
someone told me not to cry
but now that i'm older, my heart's colder
i can see that it's a lie

children wake up, hold your mistake up,
before they turn the summer into dust
if children don't grow up,
our bodies get bigger, but our hearts get torn up
we're just a million little gods causin' rain storms,
turnin' every good thing into rust

i guess we'll just have to adjust

with my lightnin' bolts a–glowin'
i can see where i am goin' to be
when the reaper he reaches and touches my hand
you better look out below


œcanthus fultoni

this is going to be really long, and likely offensive
but i don't give a damn
this was one of the funniest aim convos i've had in a while
hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as i did
[names changed to protect the guilty]

12`51`17 AM them: do you like Thin Mint girl scout cookies?
12`51`22 AM me: yes
12`51`26 AM them: i hate mint cookies
12`51`44 AM them: good. i'll bring them with me tomorrow
12`51`51 AM me: why do you have them, then?
12`52`13 AM them: my mom gave me an entire bag of girl scout cookie boxes and forgot to give the Thin Mints to my dad
12`52`30 AM them: so now i'm stuck with a cookie i hate, which makes me very uncomfortable
12`54`06 AM me:  because you are a crazy woman
12`57`09 AM me: you would be uncomfortable with cookies you hate
12`57`09 AM them: not crazy
12`57`15 AM me: yes, you are
12`57`21 AM me: why don't you mail the cookies to your dad?
12`57`43 AM them: mail them?
12`57`47 AM them: why would i do that?
12`57`52 AM me: or drive them, whatever
12`58`00 AM them: there are perfectly good people here to eat them
12`58`03 AM me: don't argue semantics, crazy woman
12`58`15 AM them: it's not the semantics
12`58`22 AM me: if they're for your dad, why don't you give them to him?
12`58`23 AM them: i just don't understand why others can't eat them
12`58`45 AM them: they're not expressly for my father
12`58`49 AM them: she just bought a bunch
12`58`52 AM me: ah
12`58`54 AM them: i think he has some of his own
12`58`56 AM me: i thought she bought them for him
12`59`00 AM them: no
12`59`14 AM them: at least, i don't think so
12`59`21 AM me: have you asked?
12`59`23 AM them: no
12`59`27 AM me: of course you didn't
12`59`53 AM them: dude, he can just go and BUY some if he's craving them so much
1`00`07 AM me: why would he BUY some
1`00`13 AM me: when he already has the ones you absconded
1`00`30 AM them: for the money it takes to ship them/the gas money it takes to drive there, he could buy two boxes
1`00`37 AM them: i did NOT abscond with them
1`00`40 AM them: they were given to me
1`00`44 AM them: this is not my fault
1`00`59 AM them: do not fault me for things i have little control over
1`01`04 AM them: i'm innocent in this situation
1`01`11 AM them: i could just throw them away
1`01`14 AM them: but NO
1`01`17 AM them: i asked if you wanted them
1`01`26 AM them: i'm not trying to poison you, for fuck's sake
1`01`31 AM them: just take the cookies and be happy
1`01`33 AM them: ...christ

1`03`13 AM them: i'm already up in arms over MY favorite girl scout cookie and it's lack of FUCKING SUBSTANCE
1`03`16 AM them: they changed my cookie
1`03`31 AM them: it's like an anorexic version of the old cookie
1`03`32 AM me: what kind is that
1`03`35 AM them: i'm crushed
1`03`41 AM them: the Peanut Butter Patties
1`03`59 AM them: or sometimes called Tagalongs
1`05`28 AM me: WHAT THE FUCK
1`05`35 AM them: i KNOW
1`05`48 AM me: why the fuck would they kill that delicious little slice of jesus?
1`05`49 AM me: WHY
1`05`52 AM me: ANSWER ME
1`06`01 AM them: I DON'T KNOW
1`06`05 AM them: i wish i knew
1`06`09 AM me: WHY
1`06`19 AM them: POR QUE???
1`06`30 AM me: WHY THE FUCK, WOMAN!
1`06`52 AM them: IT'S NOT MY FAULT
1`07`02 AM me: you're a goddamn liar
1`07`08 AM me: no one is ever as crushed as i am
1`07`16 AM them: ...
1`07`19 AM them: that's a bit melodramatic
1`07`32 AM me: your goddamn cunt hair is melodramatic
1`07`34 AM me: THIS IS SERIOUS

1`08`14 AM them: perhaps a strongly worded letter to the girl scouts
1`08`48 AM me: that won't do shit
1`08`57 AM them: then what do you suggest?
1`09`03 AM them: murder?
1`09`13 AM me: of course not, don't be fucking ridiculous
1`09`23 AM me: pain, torture, pillaging, and publicity
1`09`27 AM me: and rape
1`09`40 AM them: i REFUSE to rape a girl scout
1`09`46 AM them: i can do the ret
1`09`48 AM them: *rest
1`09`51 AM them: but no raping
1`09`56 AM me: what the hell kind of sick fucking monster are you?
1`09`59 AM them: they would bleed too much
1`10`01 AM me: you think i'd rape a girl scout?
1`10`04 AM me: jesus christ
1`10`09 AM me: i'm not a goddamn animal
1`10`45 AM them: hey hey hye
1`10`49 AM them: you're the one that said rape
1`11`00 AM me: yeah
1`11`12 AM me: the fucking women who make up the recipes and make decisions about the cookie production
1`11`14 AM them: what? you gonna bumfuck their moms?
1`11`28 AM me: not the fucking girl scouts you barbarous fuck face
1`11`39 AM them: sorry
1`11`46 AM them: jumped to conclusions
1`12`06 AM me: christ on a goddamn crutch in december holding a duck
1`12`12 AM me: your assumptions make me sick
1`12`34 AM them: oh gimme a break
1`12`42 AM them: you cannot pretend to be offended
1`12`50 AM me: untrue
1`12`50 AM them: i don't buy it
1`12`57 AM me: affrontation = capitals
1`12`58 AM me: ergo
1`13`51 AM them: look, i think we're all a little worked up due to the loss of a good cookie and years of tradition
1`14`01 AM them: let's just take a nice, deep, soothing breath in
1`14`03 AM them: and out
1`14`17 AM them: wait
1`14`21 AM them: what did you just call me?
1`14`37 AM me: sorry, misprint
1`14`40 AM me: i meant GROPING
1`14`46 AM them: how did the Hershey company get dragged into this
1`14`48 AM them: ?
1`15`18 AM me: you've never heard the term 'hershey highway hitchhiker'?
1`15`22 AM me: think it through
1`15`28 AM them: ....
1`15`30 AM them: ewwww

1`17`02 AM them: poor cookie
1`20`51 AM me: the FUCK did you do to that cookie you sick sitophiliac?
1`21`10 AM them: hey now!
1`21`57 AM them: i don't make the cookie decisions around here
1`22`03 AM them: i just eat 'em
1`22`09 AM them: just like you
1`22`12 AM them: eat them
1`22`12 AM me: that's even worse
1`22`19 AM me: you're passively allowing this to occur
1`22`37 AM them: how else was i supposed to proceed?
1`22`44 AM them: they already have their money
1`22`55 AM them: i'm not going to boycott and good cookie, even if it has lost weight
1`23`08 AM them: i can mourn, but it's not the cookie's fault either
1`23`09 AM me: by not proceeding and leaving your fucking disgusting paraphilias out of the consumption of delicious treats
1`24`37 AM them: you know
1`24`44 AM them: we've skipped some levels
1`24`46 AM them: ....
1`24`59 AM them: and i'm not quite sure how this became MY FUCKING FAULT

1`26`32 AM me: i've discovered your horrifying paraphilia for cookies and anal child rape
1`26`49 AM them: HEY
1`26`59 AM them: i said i WOULDN'T rape a girl scout
1`27`12 AM me: girl scouts aren't the only children
1`27`16 AM them: it's not up to me to tell you what YOU can and cannot do
1`27`43 AM them: if you want to rape children, i cannot stop you from doing it
1`27`49 AM them: that's all i was saying
1`27`52 AM me: it is when it's outside the confines of LEGALITY and MORALITY
1`28`14 AM them: ...not when anyone knows about it
1`29`15 AM me: oh my god
1`29`22 AM me: did you really just say that?
1`29`36 AM me: jesus christ
1`29`40 AM me: i knew it, i fucking knew it
1`30`40 AM them: i admitted to nothing
1`30`45 AM them: you don't know anything, got me?
1`30`49 AM them: not
1`30`50 AM them: a
1`30`51 AM them: thing
1`31`02 AM me: i know more than you think i do
1`31`36 AM them: oh, i know what you know. and now you know that i know what you know
1`31`40 AM them: and you know jack shit
1`31`43 AM them: GOT ME?
1`32`08 AM me: i guess ignorance is well suited to you
1`32`16 AM me: fine, i'll play along
1`32`22 AM me: i know nothing, jack shit, squat
1`32`30 AM them: that's right
1`32`44 AM me: but
1`33`00 AM me: you'll find out how much i "don't know" when the feds come a–knockin'
1`33`34 AM them: they'll never come
1`33`45 AM them: i cover my tracks good
1`33`45 AM me: how do you figure?
1`33`52 AM them: ....not that there are any tracks to cover
1`33`55 AM me: but they're the feds
1`33`59 AM them: because i'm clean as a new whistle
1`34`00 AM me: they're watching all of us all the time
1`34`06 AM me: bullshit you are
1`34`19 AM them: lets just say i've got 'em in my back *ahem* pocket
1`34`27 AM them: i'm free as a bird
1`34`33 AM me: yeah right
1`34`51 AM them: i do
1`34`53 AM me: you know how to pay off feds like the guys from office space know how to launder money
1`35`16 AM them: well, secrets haven't spilled until now, have they?
1`35`55 AM me: paying off the feds and lying to your acquaintances are two different things

1`36`30 AM them: i can take care of myself
1`36`36 AM me: no you can't
1`36`42 AM them: i can, too
1`36`43 AM them: !
1`36`44 AM me: if you could you wouldn't have a wife that you cheat on
1`36`52 AM them: O_o
1`36`57 AM them: i don't cheat on my wife
1`37`05 AM me: you're in bed with the feds
1`37`10 AM me: by your own fucking admission
1`37`12 AM them: i never said that
1`37`15 AM me: i got you on this one
1`37`16 AM them: i never never said that
1`37`17 AM me: oh come on
1`37`23 AM me: you said you got the feds in your back pocket
1`37`23 AM them: i said back pocket
1`37`27 AM them: yeah
1`37`28 AM them: like
1`37`35 AM me: that is the euphemism for fucking the feds in exchange for money/info
1`37`37 AM them: maybe i pay them off in baklava
1`37`42 AM them: you have NOTHING on me
1`38`40 AM me: ergo, you are fucking the feds
1`38`43 AM me: cheating on your wife
1`38`47 AM me: a dirty sitophiliac
1`38`56 AM them: not cheating on the wife
1`38`56 AM me: conspirator to take down the girl scouts of america
1`39`03 AM me: and an altogether unsavory person
1`39`04 AM them: maybe she's the fed that i'm supposedly fucking
1`39`07 AM them: did you ever think of that?
1`39`15 AM me: i did, she couldn't pull it off i don't think
1`39`16 AM me: think
1`39`28 AM them: they're the ones that offended me
1`39`33 AM them: by changing their cookies
1`39`39 AM them: YOU'RE the one that wanted to take them down
1`40`07 AM me: and unleashing the unholy demon that is your predilections to anal child rape and cock groping
1`40`08 AM them: and my wife is FULL of federal power
1`40`14 AM me: i doubt it

1`42`47 AM them: i should never have offered my cookies
1`42`57 AM them: it was supposed to be a nice gesture
1`42`59 AM me: no, you probly shouldn't have
1`43`05 AM me: and look what you unleashed
1`43`06 AM them: but you turn everything you touch into GARBAGE
1`43`14 AM me: to be fair
1`43`17 AM me: you expect this from me
1`43`24 AM them: i didn't unleash it
1`43`26 AM them: YOU did
1`43`36 AM them: you evil evil....evil thing
1`43`37 AM me: i didn't say anything about unleashing anything
1`43`47 AM me: i merely said it's the kind of thing i'd do
1`43`50 AM me: and i did
1`44`23 AM me: and that's what you get for trying to be nice
1`44`29 AM them: yes
1`44`33 AM them: yes, it certainly is
1`44`41 AM them: ...i'll bring you the cookies anyway
1`44`44 AM them: i don't want them
1`44`53 AM me: i don't like mint cookies
1`45`02 AM them: oh, you fucking liar
1`45`16 AM me: i'm not a fan of them
1`45`28 AM them: ....i think you're making fun of me
1`45`32 AM them: but i'm not sure
1`45`36 AM me: no
1`45`42 AM me: if i was, it'd go something like
1`45`58 AM me: 'i have cookies i don't like here, and their presence makes me extremely uncomfortable and neurotic'
1`46`26 AM them: you told me earlier that you liked thin mints
1`46`34 AM me: i lie
1`46`37 AM them: so either you were lying then or you're lying now
1`46`53 AM me: that's the $64,000 question
1`46`55 AM me: why?
1`47`00 AM me: they're just cookies
1`47`13 AM them: yes, but it's such a waste if they stay here
1`47`15 AM them: not eaten
1`47`15 AM me: what the fuck?
1`47`24 AM me: why do thin mints make you uncomfortable?
1`47`40 AM them: i don't want to talk about it
1`47`44 AM me: but i do
1`47`50 AM them: you've abused me enough for one night
1`48`08 AM me: i'm not going to abuse you about it
1`48`13 AM them: LIES
1`48`13 AM me: i just want to know about it
1`48`17 AM them: no
1`48`21 AM them: you know too much
1`48`24 AM them: FAR too much
1`48`28 AM me: i'm not sure i could abuse an irrational uncomfortability
1`48`37 AM me: and yet you didn't see this whole convo coming, did you?
1`48`43 AM them: oh, you could
1`48`49 AM me: but i won't
1`48`52 AM them: you could abuse anything if you tried hard enough
1`49`08 AM me: nothing i say will be as cruel/unusual as your reasons for being uncomfortable around a cookie
1`51`02 AM them: my reasons aren't cruel
1`51`08 AM them: they're quite the opposite
1`51`17 AM them: though, they might be unusual
1`51`20 AM them: but they don't matter
1`51`34 AM them: you don't have to know
1`51`38 AM them: you never have to know

2`01`24 AM them: i'd bring other cookies with them, but at the mere mention of the Peanut Butter Patties, you freaked
2`01`31 AM them: i'm not sure i can handle that
2`01`46 AM me: of course you can't
2`02`02 AM them: you might hurt me
2`02`12 AM them: go berserk
2`02`20 AM me: why the hell would i hurt you
2`02`27 AM them: psychotic rage?
2`02`34 AM me: i'm not mad at you
2`02`43 AM me: repulsed maybe, but not mad
2`02`58 AM them: not all psychotics kill the people they're mad at
2`03`08 AM them: just the ones that are there at the time of their psychotic break
2`03`19 AM them: and i don't know if cookies will push you over the edge or not
2`03`23 AM them: i cannot take that chanc
2`03`26 AM them: *chance
2`05`08 AM me: ah
2`05`10 AM them: ...do you really want them?
2`05`16 AM them: the Thin Mints, i mean
2`05`36 AM them: the person who has agreed to take them is not doing so out of love
2`05`39 AM them: but obligation to me
2`05`46 AM them: and they deserve better than that
2`06`02 AM me: i wouldn't take them out of love either
2`06`04 AM me: they're just cookies
2`06`10 AM me: i'd take them out of desire to eat them
2`06`13 AM them: yes, but you would want them
2`06`19 AM me: but i'm not getting them
2`06`23 AM me: so what's the point of this?
2`06`30 AM them: you could, though
2`06`36 AM them: just...say the word
2`06`41 AM them: and i'll bring them to you
2`06`52 AM them: as long as we don't have to talk about them
2`06`56 AM them: i'll bring them
2`07`30 AM me: sure
2`07`35 AM me: 'the word'
2`07`47 AM them: all right
2`07`50 AM them: it's settled
2`07`53 AM them: finally
2`08`10 AM me: didn't i accept them earlier?
2`08`23 AM them: but then you LIED and told me you didn't want them
2`08`39 AM me: i never said i didn't want them
2`08`39 AM them: and in between, a conversation that might just have to be saved
2`08`45 AM me: i lied and said i didn't like them
2`09`52 AM them: oh, quit arguing details
2`09`58 AM them: the point is that you lied to me
2`10`04 AM them: and got me all confused

2`17`54 AM them: i think i ate too many cookies
2`17`56 AM them: ugh
2`18`18 AM me: s'what you get for angrily eating peanut butter things
2`18`27 AM them: yes. it is



hans plays with lotte, lotte plays with jane
jane plays with willi, willi is happy again
suki plays with leo, sasha plays with brit
adolf builds a bonfire, enrico plays with it

andre has a red flag, chiang ching's is blue
they all have hills to fly them on except for lin tai yu
dressing up in costumes, playing silly games
hiding out in tree tops shouting out rude names

whistling tunes we hide in the dunes by the seaside
whistling tunes we piss on the goons in the jungle
it's a knockout
if looks could kill, they probably will
in games without frontiers, war without tears

jeux sans frontières


urayasu station

before i get to whatever the hell i'm going to talk about,
i'm going to share with you a gem i heard on the 'news'
apparently, rumors are circulating about nicholas sarkozy,
namely that both he and his wife have been having affairs
so, comcast news being the eloquent source it is,
reported it using the wonderful phrase "french fidelity"
now that is a true contradiction in terms

i'm so disappointed in myself right now
for the last two days straight,
i'll i've been listening to is pop music, the catchy kind
the kind you can't stop listening to even if you try
and trust me, i've tried, though i should probly stop fighting it
this, like cold sores and yeast infections, shall pass
though, also like those two, will return in time
much to my chagrin

today's non sequiter:
say the words 'beer can'
now say 'beer can' in a british accent [if you have that ability]
congratulations, you've also just said 'bacon' with a jamaican accent
by jove!

also, fun fact for today?
apparently trannies don't believe in god
who knew

i'm not really sure there's a reason for me to post anything, honestly
i don't really have anything to say
i cleaned part of the house today
watched part of franklyn
i've even been getting some of my spring break goals accomplished
just hasn't been an incredibly interesting week
which i'm not complaining about in the least
it's a nice change of pace
also, i'm not sick this spring break like i was last year
[and man was i sick: that cold kicked my ass for two fucking weeks]

i suppose i could talk about football some more
what with free agency going on right now
[and some really interesting players up for grabs]
but i'll refrain, since i'm sure only one or two people would care
so i'll spare you, whoever you are
and end with a quote from stephen colbert:
'folks, i'm afraid obama is going through presidential puberty,
and the testicles–in–chief have descended into sack force one,
and obama is swinging them with something called 'reconciliation''



home is where the mount is
least that's what it feels like
so good to be back in the trashy part of genesee county
[minus the few good people i've met here,
mt morris can get pretty redneck,
and it is so, so sad]

a sad reality of tv at msu is that damn converter box
we need it to get more than 15 fucking cable channels
and i didn't feel the need to pay $40 bucks for a q.a.m. box
cuz if i did i couldn't complain about it
but back to the matter at hand:
we have directv at home, and i love it
i usually spend my time watching the movie channels
[since they usually show some decent stuff]
but, i always forget about cinemax
so, when i came downstairs to watch tv,
i turned it on, and it was on cinemax from the movie i saw earlier
and what was on? shitty, shitty softcore porn

for those of you who don't have it/didn't know,
cinemax is semi–infamous for that
they usually spend their after midnight hours showing skin flicks
the earlier described shitty softcore porn movies
hence the nickname 'skinemax'
i mean, this is the kind of shit middle–schoolers would love
no self–respecting adult would watch this, i hope
there's probly someone who does
but it better not be anyone i know

so anyway, i'm watching frost/nixon now
much better

spring break continues as i was expecting it to
nothing really notable to tell about
not beyond the fact that i've been doing fucking schoolwork
but, only about seven more weeks of that before the year's done
and then, hopefully, a summer of some type of employment
or, as sheldon would say:
'i'm going to find a similarly menial job,
where my basal ganglia are occupied with a routine task,
freeing my pre–frontal cortex to work quietly in the background'
but, i'll cross that bridge when i get there

i have no idea how to end this ramble
so, in order to fulfill my current desire to end on a question
if a rooster and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half,
how long will it take a one–legged monkey to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?



so yeah, um... hi?
i dunno, i really don't
so, yeah....

well that was odd
couldn't get any thoughts going
such is life inside my head after three, i guess
but, now that i've gotten kick–started,
let's get to it

so spring break is upon me/us/them
that's something to look forward to
i can go pig out on my parents' cooking,
instead of fast food
and i'll sure as hell have plenty of reading time
since i'm gonna need to get a good portion of that done
since my history prof is delusional
i'm not gonna read a 300 page book a week
not about urbanization in mexico
so i might as well get started on that
probly should study for my physics test, too
conveniently scheduled the tuesday i get back
along with needing to my honors option for psych
and writing an essay for russian
when the hell did profs forget what 'break' meant?
we have break so we don't have to do this shit

i love getting info about my degree requirements
especially after a significant amount of time has gone by
apparently i need extra natural science credits for my history degree
apparently i also need a cognate for my russian degree
wish someone would've told me about that sooner
that's gonna be fun to schedule with my advisor
especially since i have zero intention of staying here longer
i'm sticking to four years, goddamn it
i'm not paying any more money here than necessary
four years of my life is long enough to spend in one place

in continuing news about my life
my sleep schedule is as fucked up as ever
who didn't see that coming?
at least i'm getting sleep, that's something
better than being an insomniac like neal
'i don't sleep, cuz sleepin' gives ya cancer'
[anyone get the reference? anyone?]

i have to start planning my summer soon
i need to have a job this year
i can't get by another year doing nothing for four months
i need to make some goddamn money
fully free time for four months needs to be used productively
if for no other reason than so i don't feel like a complete bum
it's a common feeling that i never fix
but, i also say that every year
so we'll see what goes down

i had a, for lack of a better word, slightly comical convo today
i said something about mephisto being a common queer
[in reference to my line in the play, which says the same thing]
and somebody asked 'queer? really? can you say queer?'
to which i responded
'of all the people in the room who can say it,
i'm the only one who could get away with it fine'
which is true, i think
it at least makes sense
i'd rather be derogative to myself than have others do it
besides, it's kinda like a reclaiming thing
hey, if black people can call each other 'nigga',
i can call other gays 'queer'/'faggot'
only fair, yeah?

segue aside,
i feel like playing some video games
gta III, here i come



he was there the night the wall came down
he lost her in the endless crowd
in the shadow of st stephen's cross
he sent cries aloft for his fellow man
his fingers slipping from her hand
and the rain clouds prowling overhead

she was there the night the wall came down
she faded into that newborn crowd
like a warning of what could be lost
through the perforated night she ran
her fingers slipping from his hand
and she breathed in freedom before daylight tread

they were there the night the wall was drowned
in the surging of that tidal crowd
an old world made new on the same holy ground
she found him standing, looking lost
in the shadow of st stephen's cross
and he closed his eyes and heard no sound
but her breathing warm against his mouth



must be your skin i'm sinkin' in
must be for real, cuz now i can feel
and i didn't mind, it's not my kind
it's not my time to wonder why
everything's gone white, and everything's gray
now you're here, now you're away
i don't want this, remember that
i'll never forget where you're at

i'm never alone, i'm alone all the time
are you at one, or do you lie?
we live in a wheel where everyone steals
but when we rise it's like strawberry fields
if i treated you bad, you bruise my face
couldn't love you more, you've got a beautiful taste

don't let the days go by
could've been easier on you
i couldn't change though i wanted to
should've been easier by three
our old friend fear, and you and me

bad mood, whine again
and she falls around me

i needed you more, you wanted us less
i could not kiss, just regress
it might just be clear, simple, and plain
well, that's just fine, that's just one of my names

don't let the days go by