покатаемся по городу
отвези меня, пожалуйста
к мосту – ближе, ближе
здесь, я дышу

от луны такие грустные
до неё подпригнуть хочется
давай выпьём прямо
здесь, и сейчас

и меня моя милиция
заберёт и не подавится
смотри – дальше, дальше
здесь, никогда

покатаемся по городу
отвези меня, пожалуйста
к мосту – ближе, ближе
здесь, я дышу



i got a surprise today when i got up:
a bloody nose, which hasn't happened to me in years
then, walking back from the bathroom about ten minutes ago,
i got another one
i've never had two in one day before,
it's kinda disconcerting
i think it's a sign:
my nostrils are probly too dry

after much wrangling and bribing
i got me some pączki last night [apple and blueberry]
and they are fucking delicious
it's too bad they're only widely available around mardi gras
i'd eat my weight in these things in a year easy if i could
maybe i'm just not looking in the right spots

also, a note to everyone ever:
'pączki' is already a plural,
so you don't need to add an 's' to it
those delicious cake donuts we all know and love are pączki, not pączkis
a single one is called a 'pączek', lots of them are called 'pączki'
got it?
and, just cuz i'm feeling like dick,
it's pronounced 'paunch-key'
not 'punch-key', not 'patch-key', not 'paz-key'
it's a polish word, and slavic languages pronounce shit weird
trust me, i would know

one of my friends is having trouble with a girl he likes
at the moment, the whole asking–her–out thing
it's starting to get annoying, cuz it's been going on so long
and he's not the only one i've been hearing about lately, either
i've been told about so many people's relationships this semester
and i don't get why there was such a sudden increase
i really don't care about most of them in the least
and yet people still come to me to talk about them
i don't understand
also, on a similar note:
why do people keep asking me for relationship advice?
i really am the second–to–last person you want to ask
i've been single for almost three years now
i haven't actively pursued anyone in that time
haven't even had a fling
would you really want your relationship resting in my hands?
didn't think so

also, the olympics are on now
one more thing for me not to watch



i can't disguise i was hypnotized
lost a track, struggled back
i wanted easy stuff to please me
something in the dark began to squeeze me
seen it, there, there in the mirror
totally focused, no hocus–pocus
dare i give in to this thing gripping my skin
to win, thinking how to add

i lie down in the dust just under your eye
a scrap of paper, thin as vapor
filling my clothes like smoke
a couple of the wires in my heart are broke
i throw, i miss, something, nothing
dreams schemes, moments wasted
a taste i tasted, fate i'm fated
re–edited again then copy, pasted

when i wanna quit, i suffocate it
chew bubblicious, stress repetitious
vicious, i'm one outside you
up above the streets on the dc wire
higher, fire in my guts
in a rut, but what i've got
is in no can, no other human
but i do get lonely scared i'm phoney

the lights of the cars go by in a stream
seems like i stand pretty much unseen
but i open my eyes and beams come out

gimme, gimme symphonies
gimme more than the life i see
score rise up, angels play
and my loneliness gets blown away
gimme, gimme symphonies
gimme more than the life i see


city university of football

all right
i think i've saved up enough energy to do one more of these
whether anyone wants it or not
but, since the season is over now,
there won't be any more bitching until fall
not about football, at least


sadly, this year's first major retirement wasn't brett favre
i wasn't expecting it to be [not by a long shot]
but still, i can fucking hope right?
instead it was kurt warner
a guy who's been around since the early 90s
played some arena football, then got signed with the nfl
i'm not going to paint this guy as the best player ever
and i'm not gonna kiss his ass like all the commentators have
he was a pretty damn good quarterback
definitely one of the best in my lifetime
and he was deserving of his accomplishments
the best part?
he didn't act like a little bitch along the way
[yeah, brett favre, tom brady, i'm talking to you]
and he was always enjoyable to watch,
whether it was with the 'greatest show on turf'
or with the underdog cardinals
i'm gonna miss ya, kurt,
you're a hell of a player

after watching the super bowl,
[which, by the way, had the highest tv audience ever,
knocking m*a*s*h's 'goodbye, farewell, and amen' off the top spot]
i have to say, i'm less happy about the saints winning,
which, to be fair, was pretty fucking awesome,
than i am about the fact that the colts lost
i'm not a colts fan at all
i'm not sure if it's their cocky demeanor,
the fact that everyone verbally blows peyton manning
[which, to be far, he does actually deserve],
the sense of entitlement, or what
but i've just never liked them
and it made me so happy to see them crumble
i think they really are destined for post–season failures
obviously they can't pull it out in the clutch
and they've had really limited playoff success during my life
so much being the team of the decade, huh?
actually, i think i know what bothers me about them so much:
they sulk A LOT
they act like every loss is the end of the season,
like the world stops fucking turning every time they get taken down
remember when they lost to the jets back in week 15?
and the numerous times they've lost in the playoffs?
they fume every time they fuck up their chances
and all i get to hear about is the 'poor colts'
'awww, poor colts, it's ok, you're really amazing
you're better than the other team, you just ran out of time
you're deserving of everything forever blah blah blah'
goddamn entitled jerk offs

time to jump back into the realm of college ball
cuz that where i prefer to be

guess what time of year it is?
yes, the draft is upon us [more on that later]
but, more importantly, it's that time of year again here in the big ten:
OHMAHGAWD IZ WE GONNA EXPAND?!?!?!?!!?!!!11!1!1!1!
expansion talk comes up this time every year,
and i gotta say, it's really fucking annoying
but this year, man, people are fucking relentless about it
of course the perennial favorites are in there:
notre dame, pitt, missouri, rutgers, syracuse, ad infinitum
for the record, i don't know why big ten bothers with notre dame anymore
they cling to their independence with a fervent zeal
not unlike the way they desperately cling to catholic tradition
i really don't see notre dame ever giving in and joining the big ten
that's the impression i get, but maybe it's just me

what kills me this year is that texas has yet again been brought up
hadn't heard a thing about texas the last few years
[though it's possible i wasn't listening, which is a common thing]
then, suddenly, big ten/texas talk is fucking everywhere
admittedly, i know very little about texas and their athletics
the same goes for the big twelve in general
but i've heard a lot about texas's willingness to up and leave big twelve
and their enthusiasm about becoming a big ten team
my question is simply this:
where the hell does all this evidence come from?
seriously, what backs up these claims?
i'm not saying it's not possible,
but i'd take these sentiments a lot more serious if real support was apparent
i haven't heard much from texas alum/fans about this
also, you know what would make me care about this?
if the big ten made an announcement that texas was an actual consideration
instead of this just being rampant speculation

i will, however, pander to speculation, mostly cuz i can
just to see what kind of evidence there is for this proposal
so, let's see what i can come up with:
–one of the eight original public ivies
[so was michigan; 8 big ten schools are now on that list]
–member of the american association of universities
[so are all the members of big ten]
–$7.2 billion endowment
[matching michigan, the highest of the big ten endowments]
–enrollment over 50,000
–ranked 47th in the nation by us news & world report
[topped by michigan, illinois, northwestern, wisconsin, tied with penn state]
–ranked 38 in the world by shanghai jiao tong university
[lower than five and higher than six from the big ten]

–47 athletic national championships excepting football
[higher than any big ten team]
–4 bcs bowl trips, 3 wins, 1 national championship
[only lower than ohio state for first two, tied for the third]
–second highest winning record and percentage
[only behind michigan]
–32 conference championships
[only michigan and ohio state have more]
–ncaa record 105 winning seasons out of 116
–100,119 stadium capacity
[topped only by michigan, penn state, and ohio state]

that's really all i care to look up right now
but, based on just those two criteria,
it certainly seems like a solid choice
but, people smarter than me will get to make that decision
i suppose we'll see

those of us here at msu have heard no end to this,
and thankfully it was just resolved,
but i'm gonna bring it back up,
mostly just because i can

back in december,
it was discovered that msu had registered a new logo with the u.s. patents office
based on the really grainy, really small graphic,
the spartan helmet had been modified a decent amount
making it look more like a helmet from 300
there was a lot of confused talk going on
and then, in mid january,
a/d mark hollis announced a new school–wide uniform contract with nike
party of which was the decision to look into changing the msu logo
that, of course, was met with immediate uproar
people from all over were bitching about it
fans, students, alum, even apathetic east lansing residents
people were complaining about the quality of the redesigned logo
they angrily railed against the athletics department in droves
so much so that they made tom izzo mad,
prompting him to rant about it in one of his post–game interviews
due to the perseverance of angry people,
and the massive amounts of negative press it was getting,
hollis announced last week that the old logo was going to be kept,
and that only the university's uniforms would be getting a makeover
the fact that this became such a huge issue raises two points:
one, fans are way too rabid about not changing msu's logos
two, nike obviously didn't give this job to creative graphic designers

first of all, msu fans really showed an ugly side of themselves through this
they were beyond furious about the new logo
they threatened boycotts of games,
they threatened boycotts of all sorts of merchandise
some even threatened switching allegiances to different teams
now, i'll admit, i'm not a fan of changing logos much
especially when the logo you're changing is a staple of the community
change happens, man
it's not like they were getting rid of the helmet all together
they just planned to retool it
every college and pro team has done it at some point
sometimes more than once
hell, they did it with detroit this past year
and i think the lion looks better now than ever
you can't be that vitriolic about a graphic
remember the old spartan head?
remember the older spartan head?
it's not a bad thing to reinvent the university's image

now that that's out of the way, let me say this:
really, nike? are you fucking kidding me?
this [on the right] is the best you could come up with?
of all the ways in all the world to make a spartan helmet logo,
of all the ways to make a new logo in general,
you went with a shitty redo of the current helmet?
is that seriously the type of craftsmanship you pride yourself on?
christ on a bike
you can design dozens of uniforms for the oregon ducks,
you can pump out new and redesigned products every year,
you have billions of dollars in revenue to draw from,
and that's the final fucking product?
if i was gonna get a new msu logo
one which would promote inter–team unity,
and one that would give the university a singular image to build on,
i'd want something new, something different
something that follows the spartan theme, but brings something fresh
not that shit
i could've made that in about ten minutes in photoshop
and, apparently, so can your employees

you want to redesign our uniforms? go ahead
to tell the truth, our uniforms aren't really uniform
hollis is right in that regard
getting all our teams' uniforms in line with each other will help our image
can't brand an msu identity with tens of different uniforms
so please, feel free
give us a new pattern, some new shades, a classy design
but please, don't around with the logo
you want to build brand unity?
how about getting of the ancillary msu logos/scripts?
having less than six or seven logos and scripts is a good way to promote unity
i can't believe this is what they wasted our time on
hopefully the end result will be something decent
otherwise, it'll be back to the bitching for me

since this has taken WAY too fucking long
[this post and the football theme]
i'm calling it quits
it was fun, and i enjoyed blowing off steam
i think this was the result of not enough people i know liking football
you know who you are
get your goddamn acts together, people

normal posting will resume at some point
but in the mean time