there are a few things in life that i really love
that, no matter what, i'll never not enjoy
one of them is food
truthfully, i think first among them is food
few things on this planet are as gratifying as food
it's provides multiple purposes, it's a staple of culture
it can help bring people together,
but, most importantly, it's fucking delicious

food is part of the reason i look forward to coming home during school
i know plenty of people who don't, for a variety of reasons
but i do, and no small part of that is my parents' cooking
they really make an effort to make good food, and always have
even when we were completely broke,
and living paycheck to paycheck to send me to school
my parents would always make something good to eat

the reason i'm bringing this up, surprise surprise,
is to complain about mt morris/genesee county/michigan [so novel, yeah?]
one of the great things about new london was the variety of restaurants
virtually every ethnicity of food could be found somewhere
and grocery stores would actually carry quality ingredients
even if you were looking for some plain, normal 'american' food
there were handfuls of restaurants that always had great selections
you can't find that here at all
there's almost no variety in any places to eat around here
most of them fall into crappy-quality 'family-owned' restaurants
[billy's, baldwin's, gillie's, la villa's, places like that]
most of them actually make me prefer fast food
which is just sad on so many levels

one of the nice things about e/l is the variety of food
thanks to the diverse group of people in and around lansing,
there's a wider variety of places to eat, from mexican to sushi
most of these places offer good quality, [relatively] inexpensive meals
i think the types of food available really reflects on the community
places like here, there's really nothing good;
it's all the same, and it's almost always shitty
certainly sounds a lot like flint, huh?
there is one restaurant in this area i do like,
and it just opened up this past summer
[for those of you who care, it's called 'el adobe',
and it's where the old dips 'n dogs used to be]

i'm not sure i'd be able to live in a place like michigan again
if for no other reason than the food thing
it gets too frustrating that i can't really go anywhere good
this is the only place i've ever lived where i can say this:
the fast food and chain restaurants are the better option
how fucking pathetic is that?
come on michigan, get it together
quit it with the fucking coney–dogs, olive sauce, and blueberries
bring me something new, i'm begging you
i don't wanna live off ramen and subway forever

as an aside to this,
i tend to judge people by what they eat when i'm around
it's part of the reason i like grabbing food with people
what [and how] people eat says a lot about them
which is why i try to get food with people i know
let's me know how well we'll get along



so here's a question:
what kind of weird fuckin luck do i have?
i actually got a good grade in my history class
a 4.0, which is all kinds of stunning
maybe they both decided they like me after all
god knows my paper couldn't have possibly done it alone
that thing was horrible

also, i've broken a four-year long streak in terms of grades
every year my fall grades have been worse than my spring ones
in high school the semester differences weren't too bad
but at msu they've been pretty substantial
[the widest gap was a full point]
this fall, though, my gpa was almost the same as it was in spring
so i finally kicked the habit of really slacking in the fall
[i really didn't, but i'm gonna tell myself i did]
now let's see what next semester's gonna bring me

when the semester finally ended,
i gave myself a list of things to try to get done over break
i've currently accomplished: none of them
i take it back, i've accomplished one thing
though it's less of an accomplishment,
and more an 'hey, i finally took care of this'
but, i'm still 0 for 4 on substantial accomplishments
so i gotta get cracking on that

i bitch a lot about coming back to the mount
not about coming to the family, just about the town
but i have to say, it does have its redeeming qualities
it proved itself to be pretty photogenic
and it's perfect for walking around late at night
granted there aren't a lot of places to go,
but it's quiet, deserted, and not very well lit
which is a welcome change from e/l
it's also nice not to see someone i know every time i go somewhere
every time i'm out in e/l, i run into somebody i know
it's not a bad thing, sometimes it's a welcome coincidence
but still, every time?
it even happens on my five minute runs to 7/11 at 4 in the morning
i enjoy the anonymity here
granted, most people in the mount are stupid and crazy
but still

george carlin's sortabiography is incredible
i got it on thursday, and i read it straight through
the man's an amazing storyteller,
it's a shame he didn't get to do his broadway showcase



i heard there is no christmas in the silly middle east
no trees, no snow, no santa claus, they have different religious beliefs
they believe in muhammad and not in our holiday
and so everry december i go to the middle east and say...

hey there mr muslim merry fucking christmas
put down that book, the koran, and hear some holiday wishes
in case you haven't noticed, it's jesus's birthday
so get off your heathen muslim ass and fucking celebrate

there is no holiday season in india, i've heard
they don't hang up their stocking, and that is just absurd
they've never read a christmas story, they don't know what rudolph is about
and that's why in december i'll go to india and shout...

hey there mr hinduist, merry fucking christmas
drink eggnog and eat some beef, and pass it to the missus
in case you haven't noticed it's jesus's birthday
so get off your heathen hindu ass and fucking celebrate

now i heard that in japan everyone just lives in sin
they pray to several gods and put needles in their skin
on december twenty fifth all they do is eat a cake
and that is why i'll go to japan and walk around and say...

hey there mr shintoist, merry fucking christmas
god is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum
in case you haven't noticed it's jesus's birthday
so lets all rejoice for jesus, and merry fucking christmas to you

on christmas day i travel round the world and say
taoists, krishnas, buddhists, and all you atheists too
merry fucking christmas to you


well i'll tell you what,
maybe we should have ourselves a little christmas, right here
c'mon everybody, gather round!

string up the lights and light up the tree, we're gonna make some revelry
spirits are high, so i can tell, it's christmas time in hell!
demons are nicer as you pass them by, there's lots of demon toys to buy
the snow is falling, and all is well, it's christmas time in hell!

there goes jeffrey dahmer with a festive christmas ham
after he has sex with it he'll eat up all he can
and there goes john f kennedy caroling with his son
reunited for the holidays, god bless us, everyone!
everybody has a happy glow, let's dance in blood and pretend it's snow!
even mao tse tung is under the spell, it's christmas time in hell!

[satan] adolf, here's a present for you!
[hitler] oh? ein tannenbaum?!
[satan] yes, ein tannenbaum!

god cast me down from heaven's door to rule in hell forevermore
but now i'm kinda glad that i fell cuz it's christmas time in hell!
here's a rack to have the stockings on, we still have to shop for genghis khan
michael landon's hair looks swell, it's christmas time in hell!

there's princess diana holding burning mistletoe
over poor gene siskel's head, just watch his weenie grow!
for one day we all stop burning, and the flames are not so thick
all the screaming and the torture stops as we wait for old saint nick!

so string up the lights and light up the trees, we're damned for all eternity
but for just one day, all is well, it's christmas time in hell!
get a toast together and make it quick, we gotta make room for andy dick
wake his mother and ring the bell
it's christmas time...
christmas time...
it's christmas time in hell!


розово дърво

look down, lord, look down
this time i'm comin' home
it's late no, sweet jesus, take me now
this time i'm comin' home

look down, lord, look down
been hard times and i can't wait
oh look down, sweet jesus, hold me now
this time i'm comin' home

there's so much sorrow round this time
look down, please, look down
oh i been wand'rin' far and trav'lin' long
i'm weary now, please, look down

free me lord, take me
i need to come and walk with thee
sweet jesus, lord, won't you hold me now?
this time i'm comin' home



alo? salut! sunt eu, un haiduc
și te rog iubirea mea primește, fericirea
alo? alo! sunt eu, picasso
ți-am dat beep și sunt voinic
dar să știi nu-ți cer nimic

te sun sa-ți spun ce simt acum
alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu fericirea
alo? alo! sunt iarași eu, picasso
ți-am dat beep și sunt voinic
dar să știi nu-ți cer nimic

vrei să pleci dar nu mă nu mă iei
nu mă nu mă iei, nu mă nu mă nu mă iei
chipul tău și dragostea din tei
mi-amintesc de ochii tăi



you only hold me up like this
cuz you don't know who i really i am
sometimes i just wanna know what it's like to be you
we're making out inside crashed cars
we're sleeping through all our memories
i used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
now i only waste it dreaming of you

you only hold me up like this
cuz you don't know who i really i am
i used to waste my time on, waste my time on
waste my time dreaming of being alive
now i only waste it dreaming of you

i've got headaches and bad luck
but they couldn't touch you, no oh
i'm not trying, you only hold me up like this

turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
cuz all of our moves make up for the silence
and oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
like i'll never be the same


с ума сошёл

fucking draft is finally taken care of
all it needs now is some editing and some citations thrown in
[it needs to be good too, but no amount of editing's gonna help that]

so, in honor of this heinous crackwhore of a paper being done
i share with you people my outline,
which has seen many long, long nights of reading
this is what happens when i get bored,
and have norway and denmark on the brain

for those of you who can't see decipher what it says
here's a complimentary transcription:

Planning Weserübung  >>> [the fuck is an übung?]
       –Why Norway?
              •UK [AltMark, BoB]
              •USSR [Finalnd] + who cares?
              •Economics [ore n fish n shit]
       –Denmark too!
              •Resources [that's it]

The Day Arrives
       –Landings up the coast
              •Beating back the Brits
       –Sea powers ––––– Sea powers clash [clash powers clash]
       –Air power vs the navy [battle of the bitches]
       –Three Dimensions of Victory
                |    /
                |  /
                .______>   [0,0,0]

Occupying the Völkergemeinschaft [ha, German]
       –SS Standarte Nordland
       –Nothin gets to the Russkies
       –Protecting the Economy  ---------------> damn
              •Supply/Demand? suck it
       –Norway – No Way
              •ha your stupid, Germans dont care bout chu

Völker, not Volks
       –Denmark autonomous?
              •Full control of day-to-day
              •Kept King + parliament
              •'43 martial [really wasn't]
       –Norway – Terboven and beyond
              •Reichskommisar's in town
              •Holy crap it's Quisling
                  ~Governing w/ Samling
                  ~NO ONE LIKED HIM

Supplying the Machine
       –Goods from Denmark
              •Nothing happened, 'cept for no imports [coal, gas]
       –Norway has stuff
damn-->•Eye-ron Ore
              •Fishes [not gay fishes Kanye]
              •Norsk Hydroelectric
                [Heavy water is delicious]

Christ on a Crutch end goes here I'm done


в движении

for a long time i felt without style or grace
wearing shoes with no socks in cold weather
i knew my heart was in the right place
i knew i'd be able to do these things

and as i watch him digging his own grave
it's important to know that was where he's at
he can't afford to stop... that is what he believes
he'll keep on digging for a thousand years

i'm walking a line – i'm thinking about empty motion
you notice there's nothing around you, 'round you

never get to say much, never get to talk
tell us a little bit, but not too much
right about then is where she gave up
she has closed her eyes, she has given up hope

i'm walking a line – i hate to be dreaming in motion
i keep my fingers behind me, 'hind me

i turn myself around, i'm moving backwards and forwards
i'm moving twice as much as i was before
i'll keep on digging to the center of the earth
i'll be down in there moving in the room

i'm walking a line – visiting houses in motion
i'm walking a line – just barely enough to be living
get outta the way – no time to begin
this isn't the time – so nothing was done
not talking about – not many at all
i'm turning around – no trouble at all
two different houses surround you, 'round you
i'm walking a line – divide and dissolve

wolff's law

with this semester coming to a close,
i can finally say that i can empathize with people who hate history
i've had the two types of profs that most stereotype our discipline:
the boring, rambling, all-over-the-place, grades-hard-as-balls prof [last fall]
and the condescending, meddling, i'm-better-than-you'll-ever-be prof [this fall]
i swear to god, they've both made me crazy as shit
they even make me wonder whether i even want to go into history
cuz god knows i'll never get away from people like them
i won't be able to get away from the one i have this fall even if i try
he's fucking married to my advisor, and they both know my majors
which means they're probly gonna try to stick me with him next year
and i'll be damned if i'm gonna write a 50-75 page paper for this man
20 pages is giving me enough trouble

it's also never been clearer to me that i don't want to go into russian history
i'm perfectly content just being fluent in another language
russia doesn't need to have a stranglehold on my entire academic life
i don't wanna be another siegelbaum

this semester's contained a first for me
i honestly don't give a shit how well i do in my history class
my motivation for that class just evaporated,
and i couldn't say when or why
normally something happens that makes me not care anymore
like, 'hey, this prof obviously doesn't care how good this work is,
he's gonna be a dick when he grades regardless'
or, 'this class has absolutely no effect on my major at all
it's boring and i just don't give a damn anymore'
but not this time
if i can just throw together a paper and hand it in i'll be perfectly content
and i know fucking up in this class is gonna screw me over later on
but i'll cross that bridge when i get to it

if i can survive another week, i'll be home free
very literally, too
i get to leave on monday of finals week cuz i don't have any finals
thank god for projects, even though they're kicking my ass
especially that poli/sci honors project i forgot about till last thursday
that's due this coming thursday
thank god i already have all the info for that
my photojournalism project, thankfully, came together perfectly
that one was a bitch to pull together, but that'll be done by tomorrow
i'm gonna survive this with my sanity intact, goddamn it

as a complete side-note
i have to make a website over break
anybody want to help/give me pointers/do it for me?


áth cliath

lookin' down through a tide of no return
is a field where the crops no longer grow
parched is the land, strangled an' be damned
there for the grace o' god go i

down beside where the riverbed sleeps
is a man not knowin' what he should feel
mocked by the wave that beats the water's edge
there for the grace o' god go i

if i ever hurt another like thee again
i would drown myself beneath your name
lost was the child we all once did hide
there for the grace o' god go i