and this makes number eight
damn it
what a fucking way to start the day

спасение соделал еси посреде земли, боже. аллилуия.



i would like to point out:
all but one of my profs is on facebook [the exception is merrill, sadly
you better believe i'd friend merrill in half a second if i could]
even my old history profs are kickin' it on the old fezbuk
there is no need for that

someday, god willing, i will be decent at graphic design
it doesn't help that i have no experience at it
and that i'm basically teaching myself
but goddamn it, one day i will be decent enough to market it
i'll add it on my resume as a skill,
and it still won't get me hired

i wonder if i'll actually get that job i 'interviewed' for with h/c
i'm giving it until tomorrow before i call it
i hope i do, since it at least sounded cool
but the inevitable, inherited tagg luck will rear its ugly head
and so i shall have to begin my search again
goddamn it

for photojournalism, i actually need to have an artist's eye
that's a problem, mostly because i don't have one
hopefully i can learn to compose a photo halfway decently
i may or may not be taking headshots for my theater class
so some ability to work the camera'd be beneficial
or maybe i'll just wing it
can't turn out too bad, yeah?

i cannot in words describe how much i love the wil wheaton song
i'm not really a fan of jonathan coulton, though,
anyone who loves wil wheaton enough to sing to him is cool to me
i love his reactions to the song as it goes on, they're great
for anyone who hasn't seen it, here it be

since i'm too lazy/cheap to get it cut,
my hair's continued to grow
i'd forgotten the polarizing effect long hair has on me
generally people either think it's awesome or really bad
[usually the latter, but i could give a rat's ass about my hair]
i'm slowly becoming accustomed to the comments about it again
they aren't nearly as bad as they were in seventh grade,
but that was a whole different beast
not to mention that this time around i have a bitchin' beard
so not only do i look weird, i look like a weird lumberjack

i'm indeterminate if i'm going to try out for any shows this year
i want to, but it depends on what show it is,
definitely who's putting it on,
and how much time it'll rob from me
people of the interwubs, what do you think?



feeling sorrow
for all the things you had to steal and borrow
bring back the days we had before tomorrow
relapse and then collapse into yourself once more

void i can't fill
the doctor tells me to relax and stand still
prescribes me me a new pill to quell my anger
wish i could make her pull herself up off the floor

waiting for this life to change, seems like it's taking me forever
and i can't hold on, this light is breaking into the day
this life is going to change, feels like it's taking me forever
and i can't hold on, this light is breaking into the day
into the day, again

take time to contemplate who you are and where you want to go



i need a job
for lots of reasons, most of them being the fact that i'm poor
but i really need an outlet, too
hopefully i can get something halfway decent
otherwise, i'll start whoring myself out
which is a bad idea,
because i wouldn't make money doing that, either

i'm liking the fact that i won't have much free time again
but this busy isn't like last semester's busy
last semester was frantic, edging towards psychotic
this semester is looking to be productive,
or at the very least, time-consuming
i'm ok with that, i need to spend time away from phillips
i spent most of my waking hours in sny/phi last year
between the plays, the caf, all the reading, homework, and studying
i probly spent about 80% of my time just on the second floor
i don't want to live there, i just want to exist there
i don't really see a room as a place to be all the time
especially if you have a single
i really don't want to do much more than sleep there
study and read, maybe, but that's about it
it really doesn't need any more purpose than that

i'm ready for football season to really get going
none of this throwaway, easy-win opening week bullshit
i want to see some gritty, hard-fought, heart-breaking games
i want to see some goddamn injuries,
i want to hear screams at the officials
i want to see people screaming at the top of their lungs
i want to hate the other team, and occasionally my own
i want to love my steelers and spartans
i want to tell john madden to shut up
i want to feel the elation when we win at the last second
i want to feel the anguish when we lose by one point
i want to trash talk on my shitty little white board
and i want some yelling matches with opposing fans

as an aside,
i wonder a lot about the people who overhear me,
the people in grocery stores or fast food places
who have to listen to me when i'm in public,
i always wonder what they think about what i'm saying
cuz i know some ridiculous shit comes out of my mouth
i mean, i swear a lot
and the curses i string together are... well, unique
plus, i talk about pretty random stuff most of the time
i like to think it throws a wrench in the cog of normal days
i just wonder if other people appreciate it like i do
i'm sure they don't, but that's how it goes



i can't explain a thing
i want everything to change and stay the same on top
doesn't care about anyone or anything
now come together, come apart
only get lonely when you read the charts
oh baby, when they made me they broke the mold
girls used to follow me around when i got cold

i'm a mascot for what you've become
and i love the mayhem more than the love
and oh, baby, one day maybe we broke the mold
girls used to follow me around when i got cold

fly your cameras in the air
and wave 'em like you just don't care

i will never believe in anything again
change will come, oh change will come
i will never believe in anything again

we will never believe again
kickdrum beating in my chest again
oh we will never believe again
preach electric to a microphone stand


linn valley

it's that time of the year again
classes start, and what a treat it will be

the thing that kills me,
of all the shit that professors do [un]intentionally,
is when they over–format the syllabus.
it's a goddamn course outline
it doesn't need to be pretty, it doesn't need photos
it doesn't need to be 10 goddamn pages long
i don't need clipart and cutesy sayings to help me understand class
every semester i go through this shit
i download all my syllabi and i reformat them
i can usually cut them down about 25% just getting rid of graphics
if this really was a 'green university'
they'd forbid any syllabus longer than three pages, double sided
that's how you save paper

i will say, i'm pleased with my start times this semester
only one class starts before noon
shit ton better than another 8`30
i' never want to go through that again

also, a big fuck you goes out to kim wilcox, our provost
our welcome 'days' fucking sucked
this year's freshmen got screwed, royally
also, what the fuck was up with those fireworks?
is that really what they're using our tuition money for?
because i can think of better ways to spend $18k

is it december yet?