i heard there is no christmas in the silly middle east
no trees, no snow, no santa claus, they have different religious beliefs
they believe in muhammad and not in our holiday
and so every december i go to the middle east and say...
hey there mr muslim, merry fucking christmas
put down that book, the koran, and hear some holiday wishes
in case you haven't noticed, it's jesus's birthday
so get off your heathen muslim ass and fucking celebrate
there is no holiday season in india, i've heard
they don't hang up their stockings, and that is just absurd
they've never read a christmas story, they don't know what rudolph is about
and that's why in december i'll go to india and shout...
hey there mr hinduist, merry fucking christmas
drink eggnog and eat some beef, and pass it to the missus
in case you haven't noticed it's jesus's birthday
so get off your heathen hindu ass and fucking celebrate
now i heard that in japan everyone just lives in sin
they pray to several gods and put needles in their skin
on december twenty fifth all they do is eat a cake
and that is why i'll go to japan and walk around and say...
hey there mr shintoist, merry fucking christmas
god is gonna kick your ass, you infidelic pagan scum
in case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do
so lets all rejoice for jesus, and merry fucking christmas to you
on christmas day i travel round the world and say
taoists, krishnas, buddhists, and all you atheists too
merry fucking christmas to you
well i'll tell you what,
maybe we should have ourselves a little christmas, right here
c'mon everybody, gather round!
string up the lights and light up the tree, we're gonna make some revelry
spirits are high, so i can tell, it's christmas time in hell!
demons are nicer as you pass them by, there's lots of demon toys to buy
the snow is falling and all is well, it's christmas time in hell!
there goes jeffrey dahmer with a festive christmas ham
after he has sex with it, he'll eat up all he can
and there goes john f kennedy caroling with his son
reunited for the holidays, god bless us, everyone!
everybody has a happy glow, let's dance in blood and pretend it's snow!
even mao tse tung is under the spell, it's christmas time in hell!
[satan] adolf, here's a present for you!
[hitler] oh? ein tannenbaum?!
[satan] yes, ein tannenbaum!
god cast me down from heaven's door to rule in hell forevermore
but now i'm kinda glad that i fell, cuz it's christmas time in hell!
here's a rack to have the stockings on, we still have to shop for genghis khan
michael landon's hair looks swell, it's christmas time in hell!
there's princess diana holding burning mistletoe
over poor gene siskel's head, just watch his weenie grow!
for one day we all stop burning, and the flames are not so thick
all the screaming and the torture stops as we wait for old saint nick!
so string up the lights and light up the trees, we're damned for all eternity
but for just one day, all is well, it's christmas time in hell!
get a toast together and make it quick, we gotta make room for andy dick
wake his mother and ring the bell
it's christmas time...
it's christmas time in hell!